Chapter Text
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Works Cited
Lysis Arc
Wade and Peter stop a fight to argue about this so called "fourth wall breaking" & Deadpool learns Spider-Man is more prickly about cops than he thought he was.
Retroactively: "And I don't need anyone, but sometimes, I miss your stupid face, and your taste, and your smoking gun" - Wet by Dazey and the Scouts
Deadpool was fine with dying, he just hated doing it around Spider-Man. Because if he was dead, no one was looking out for Spidey, especially not Spidey (and dang it does still hurt)
Retroactively: "She's pretty and fun so point the gun and let it ring out. I'll fall into your arms, read another psalm until I bleed out. So, don't love me like a brother" - Like a Brother by hey, nothing
3 - You’re the only one here keeping both my eyes open tonight
When Peter sees Wade walking down the street, he thinks two things. One part of him wants to take Wade out and talk to him and be real nice and sweet and treat him right. The other part thinks about what his head would look like on a stick.
In which Spider-Man gets shot, Deadpool isn't happy, and somehow they get to a name reveal
Title: Pale Beneath the Tan (Squeeze) by The Front Bottoms
4 - my guy pretty like a girl (and he got fight stories to tell)
Deadpool asks the age-old question: does Bruno Mars Spider-Man is gay? (And he gets a completely different answer)
Title: Chanel by Frank Ocean
5 - He’s a sinner who acts like such a saint
Peter gets an exclusive interview with Deadpool (who does not like him) and of course the topic of conversation finds its way to Spider-Man
Title: Alter Ego by Anthony Amorim
6 - Living just comes with a bit of heartache
"And I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance, and up until now, I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk. Well, you are the only exception."
Deadpool and Spidey lore drop after patrol
Title: Painkillers by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
Description: The Only Exception by Paramore
"Remember me as one who always showed his worst side and who was perhaps better than he seemed."
Peter and Wade fight
Title: Twin Size Mattress by The Front Bottoms + (Lipstick Covered Magnet by The Front Bottoms)
Description: Civil War Soldier
"Am I more than you bargained for yet? I've been dyin' to tell you anything you want to hear."
Sometimes the only thing stopping you from experimenting on yourself in a way that has resulted in multiple of your enemies is a red and black clad mercenary. And sometimes he isn't there.
Title: Washing Machine Heart by Mitski
Description: Sugar, We’re Goin Down by Fall Out Boy
9 - Does it mean anything that you stayed in town? (Probably not)
"We can live like Jack and Sally if we want. Where you can always find me."
Wade and Peter go on -50- 2 -first dates- platonic hangouts
Title: Downhill by Lincoln
Description: I Miss You by blink-182
10 - Getting Naked, Playing With Guns
"In time you'll find we're blind to the things we don't believe"
Wade doesn't like Peter Parker. He can't fathom what he and Spidey could possibly have in common to warrant a friendship. But Wade also kind of likes Peter Parker.
Title: Getting Naked, Playing With Guns by AJJ
Description: Counting Cards by Rainbow Kitten Surprise
"Now the rest of my days are just waiting for when you've calmed down and tell me, 'I was meant for you'"
Wade catches Peter from falling
Title: Take Me to Church by Hozier
Description: I Don't Smoke by Mitski
Innamorati Arc
12 - can’t spell Spider-Man without damp siren (what?)
"I've got a river running right into you. I've got a blood trail, red in the blue. Something you say or something you do, the taste of the divine"
What's it mean to be human?
Description: The Summoning by Sleep Token
13 - Well, he talks like an angel but he looks like me
"Your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing."
Wade and Peter have dinner reservations at 8; it's a date.
Title: Brazil by Declan McKenna
Description: Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky’s
14 - damp siren, get it? (no, that doesn’t make any sense)
"You asked me, 'What do I think of life?' I said 'Baby, not much, I wanna die'"
Ft. Wade, Wade's B.A in storytelling inner voice, and the existential crisis narrator.
Description: Dead Inside by Younger Hunger
"And that thing you fear will coax you out of that unholy place, as all you've ever wanted is an escape. Those of us who vow never to love again, are making liars out of honest men. It's not something that you put to bed, hang your head and just forget, no, love don't know how to rest."
Peter and Wade witness a crime and do absolutely nothing about it because they're too busy writing fanfic.
Title: Cotton Crush by Kevin Devine
Description: How to Rest by The Crane Wives
16 - Call me fighter I’ll mop the floor with you (Call me lover I’ll take you for a drink or two)
"Whether she loves me or loves me not, sometimes it's hard to tell. Yet I'm half crazy all for the love of you"
Deadpool is whipped, if only that pesky Peter wasn't in the way (i.e. superheros play dress-up too)
Title: Fighter by Jack Stauber
Description: Daisy Bell (Bicycle Built for Two) by Harry Dacre
Modena Arc
"Have you been half asleep, and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors? The voice might be one and the same. I've heard it too many times to ignore it, it's something that I'm supposed to be."
They ain't, Wilson. 'Cause the wind just shifted…I can smell it. Logan to Wade, Deadpool (2013) #18
Title: Unwell by Matchbox Twenty
Description: Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog
"I can't remember the last time I got a good night's sleep. Do you think I'm normal? Say I'm normal. Please, for fuck's sake, please say I'm normal.
Something went wrong. Something went really wrong a long way back and now I don't know, now I'm just doing this. One morning, you wake up and you want to shave your head because the insects living up there have started to throw parties they aren't inviting you to. And you tell me I'm crazy? I just want to live, I just want to feel something. Anything, anything."
Are you living in the real world? (Cowboy Bebop)
Title: Why by Briston Maroney + (Love, Me Normally by Will Wood)
Description: The Beginning of the End by Headache
19 - Do you fear death, may I ask why?
"I think that I'm still human. Underneath the skin there's a human. Buried deep within there's a human. And despite everything I'm still human. But I think I'm dying here."
Do you have a comrade? (Cowboy Bebop)
Title: Eat Shit and Die by Harley Poe
Description: Human by Daughter
20 - I thought you were sleepin’, but you’re not wakin’ up
"But this is all I ever was, and this is all you came across those years ago. Don't tell me that I've changed because that's not the truth and now I'm losing you. Where I used to end was where you start, you were the only one"
You're gonna carry that weight. (Cowboy Bebop)
Title: Sleep in The Heat by PUP
Description: Ditmas by Mumford & Sons
21 - Love’s gonna get you killed, but pride’s gonna be the death of you (and you and me)
"Your love was foreign to me. It made me think maybe human's not such a bad thing to be, but I just laid there in protest, entirely fucked. It's such a stubborn reminder one perfect night's not enough."
Peter you're going to die doing this. You're going to die in that stupid costume. MJ to Peter, Spider-Man v1 032 (2003)
Title: PRIDE. by Kendrick Lamar
Description: Constant Headache by Joyce Manor
22 - It’s like fighting both sides of a mirror (And I can’t fight anymore)
"I'm not afraid to play rough, I'm afraid to bruise you. I'm not afraid of trouble, I'm afraid to lose you. I'm not afraid to play dumb, I'm afraid to confuse you. I'm not afraid to be in love, I'm afraid to lose you."
Title: Peter Stays And Spider-Man Goes by Mike Ragogna
Description: Pad Thai by Jack Stauber
Hasanlu Arc
"I shot the gun. You smashed your face in. It wasn't fun, until we could taste it"
Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something of that like because Peter isn't in the habit of saying "I love you"
Title: I Know That He Loves Me by Autoheart + (Sober to Death by Car Seat Headrest)
Description: Montgomery Forever by The Front Bottoms
"Well, if I was in your position, I'd put down all my ammunition. I'd wonder why it had taken me so long, but Lord knows that I'm not you, and if I was, I wouldn't be so cruel. 'Cause waiting on love ain't so easy to do"
Spider-Man and Deadpool kiss. Except, no they don't.
Peter and Wade do have a museum date.
Title: Tattooed Tears by The Front Bottoms + (Movies by FRND)
Description: Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson
"See, the luck I've had can make a good man turn bad. So please, please, please, let me, let me, let me, let me get what I want this time."
Wade and Peter decide fair is fair in terms of not wearing masks
Title: Mud and Pollen by Roland Faunte
Description: Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want by The Smiths
The Lover's Arc
26 - You look like yourself (but you’re somebody else only it ain’t on the surface)
"Say you're still her, the woman you were, and you haven't turned into someone who could never love me again. 'Cause you never broke my heart, no, you fixed it, and now it works, but only enough just to suffer that hurt."
Doc Ock Peter is awful, Doc Ock Spidey is mean.
Title: You’re Somebody Else by Flora Cash
Description: Cover This Song (A Little Bit Mine) by Will Wood and the Tapeworms
27 - I push my fingers into my eyes (It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache)
"And I'm trying to be calm about it, but honestly, I've never reached this point before. I can't live through another night like that"
Peter gets his body back / remembers
Title: Duality by Slipknot
Description: I Won’t Always Love You by Black Country, New Road
28 - And I don’t want the world to see me (‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand)
"Just know that if you hide, it doesn't go away"
If there’s some kind of afterlife, do you think my place is taken? The real me died like a hundred years ago. Is there still room for me? Is there a heaven full of redundant copies of the same people? Is there someone up there who'd call me an impostor? It's dumb luck, right? I woke up in the right body? I basically flipped a coin and if I had called the wrong side I'd be rotting away.
Title: Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
Description: Little Dark Age by MGMT
29 - The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest (now leave me alone)
"But nothin' is better sometimes, once we've both said our goodbyes. Let's just let it go. Let me let you go"
Peter and Wade learn that things that burn bright don't burn for very long
Title: Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk + (Leave Me Alone by Fidlar)
Description: when the party's over by billie eilish
Denouement
"After all, you are alive, so you will always have the chance to be happy. As long as the Sun, the Moon, and the Earth exist, everything will be all right."
Deadpool starts getting close with the Avengers. Spidey hates that.
They settle their differences
Title: (The Adults Are Talking by The Strokes)
Description: The End of Evangelion, 1997