Work Text:
"Thanks again, and have a fine day!"
Jesse tipped his hat at the delivery man before closing the door. He turned around and faced Hanzo, who was leaning on the giant package they had just received. Jesse grinned.
"You ready to put this bad boy together?"
He and Hanzo carried the box to the middle of the living room where they had far more space to work. There was a very distinct lack of furniture, but that box was about to change that. At least a little bit. Jesse grabbed a knife and cut the tape, revealing the inside of the box and the confusing disaster that it was. Hanzo frowned at the scene.
"There are instructions, right?"
Jesse laughed.
"'Course there are! Probably just hidden at the bottom is all." Jesse tilted the box on to its side and emptied everything out of it. He took a quick look through all the packaging and frowned.
"Or... maybe they forgot the instructions."
Hanzo knelt down and looked through everything with Jesse, growing frustrated with every second. He refused to accept that there were no instructions to putting this ridiculous thing together. After a couple minutes Jesse sighed and offered Hanzo a grin.
"Well, it's not like a couch is that complicated anyway. You got the feet, the armrests and the sittin' part. How hard can it be to put it together?"
Hanzo gave a weary sigh. He knew it would have come to this. He should have said no when he had the chance. He should have stopped Jesse when they were at the store and he saw the gigantic, plush couch. They could have gotten one just like it elsewhere where it would have already been assembled, but Jesse demanded to get this one. Said it would be their first project together as a married couple. Hanzo was going to argue the fact that buying a house together was a big project, but by then Jesse had already gone to speak with someone.
Now here he was. Stuck with making a couch with no instructions. He looked up at Jesse who was already trying to figure out which part went with what. Hanzo gave a small smile. Jesse always looked cute when he was focused on a task. Hanzo let himself get comfortable and sat cross legged, looking through the pieces for whatever seemed to fit together.
Jesse grabbed a couple pieces of metal and started attaching them together. Hanzo grabbed similar looking pieces and tried to do the same. So far it all seemed to be working and fitting together. It was easier than he thought it'd be. These were made for anyone to be able to put together, after all. Maybe they didn't need instructions.
Two hours later Hanzo sorely regretted that thought. He wasn't sure how they had managed, but the couch somehow looked like it was sideways. No matter how they moved it, it looked sideways and uncomfortable. Hanzo rubbed his temples while Jesse pinched the bridge of his nose. Jesse took a deep breath and put a wide grin on.
"Alright," he clapped his hands together, "back to square one!"
Hanzo gave him an incredulous look.
"Can we not find the instructions online?"
Jesse shook his head.
"Nah, you can find just about anythin' online, but you can't find instructions to furniture. Seems to be some kind of trade secret you only get when you order the furniture." He slipped behind Hanzo and grabbed his waist, kissing his neck.
"Just think about how comfy it'll be when we're done. We'll spend the whole evenin' on it together," Jesse dropped his voice, "maybe even all night."
Hanzo chuckled and turned his head to meet Jesse's lips.
"Only if it resembles an actual couch."
"Deal!" Jesse snuck another kiss before heading to the couch to take it apart. Hanzo reluctantly followed and began to do the same. Back with pieces scattered all over the place they tried again to put it together, somehow more confused about it than before. About twenty minutes in Jesse let out a huff.
"I think we're missin' pieces. I feel like somethin' should go here but nothin' fits here."
Hanzo looked around and grabbed a piece that didn't seem to fit anywhere.
"Does this look right?"
Jesse glanced between the pieces in their hands and nodded.
"I think so."
They started back at their tasks, but the interruption made Hanzo notice the silence. He turned on the TV and switched to a music channel, giving them some background noise. The two of them continued on the couch for quite some time, but neither of them felt like they were getting anywhere. Somehow the first try at the couch was their most successful.
At some point Jesse had brought in drinks and snacks for them, but Hanzo had no clue when. All he knew was when he finally looked up from the pieces in front of him the sun was starting to set. His frustration all came out at once and he slammed down what was in his hand. Jesse jumped and stared at his husband as Hanzo started moving everything in the room.
"There has to be instructions somewhere! They cannot possibly think this can be put together without them!"
"Darlin', they might have just forgotten them-"
"Or it is a cruel joke they play on anyone who buys their merchandise, to show them the final project and never let them get close to finishing-"
Hanzo cut himself off. The only noise breaking the silence was the music playing in the background. Jesse tilted his head.
"Hanzo?"
Hanzo picked up the delivery form that had been on the outside of the box, and pulled a pamphlet of paper from behind it. His voice was quiet.
"It was on the outside of the box."
The two of them made eye contact.
A beat passed.
At once they both started laughing, turning into hysterics soon after. Jesse rolled on to his back while Hanzo double over, clenching his stomach. The two laughed for ten minutes straight, every now and then getting on the verge of containing themselves before bursting out all over again. When they finally did manage to calm down, Hanzo and Jesse were lying on their backs on the floor together, slowly catching their breath. Hanzo gave another chuckle before turning to his husband.
"I hate this couch."
Jesse took a deep breath to stop himself from laughing again.
"I feel that."
A couple more minutes passed and Jesse sat up.
"Alright. Let's give this bad boy one last shot."
Hanzo groaned and sat up.
"Fine. But we are ordering in tonight.
"Deal."
With the instructions now at their disposal, the couch was far easier to put together. True, at times they were still convinced they were missing pieces, but when the whole thing was put together not a single piece was left out. Looking over their work smiles crossed their faces, and when they sat down on their new couch at the same time the sigh they let out showed their work was worth it. After just a few seconds Hanzo lay down and made himself comfortable.
"Now go order us something to eat."
Jesse frowned.
"Why do I gotta order? Pretty sure that was your idea."
"Because I am comfortable. And you were the one who said we didn't need instructions."
Jesse groaned and lay down on top of him.
"But I'm tired, Hanzo, and the phone's so far away."
Hanzo snorted.
"Well now I certainly cannot order, I've got about one hundred and eighty pounds weighing me down."
Jesse let out another groan and got up.
"Alright, alright, I'll go order."
Hanzo smiled triumphantly as Jesse left. He made himself comfortable and closed his eyes, enjoying their new couch. Despite all the effort put into making it, it really was very comfortable. A few minutes later he felt the couch shift, before someone warm curled up behind him.
"Hey Hanzo."
"Hmm?"
"We've got a house together."
"Yes."
"And a TV."
"I know."
"And a couch."
Hanzo turned to look at Jesse over his shoulder. Jesse was smiling brightly down at him. Hanzo smiled back and kissed him.
"I am aware of these things, Jesse."
Jesse wrapped an arm around Hanzo, making himself comfortable.
"Just wanted to make sure this wasn't a dream, that's all."
Hanzo smiled and closed his eyes, relaxing into Jesse's arms. It most definitely wasn't a dream.
Making that couch, though. That was a nightmare.