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Leon hadn’t spent the holidays with anyone in decades. There was always a good reason for not doing so; he had missions to complete. It had to be enough that he'd arranged for presents to be sent to Sherry and Claire.
Besides, they wouldn't really want him there anyway. He couldn’t be what they wanted or needed. He threw himself into his work instead to protect them from him. He would never admit that he was also trying to protect himself from the disappointment.
Leon did what he always did when he got home from a mission. He specifically got this apartment because he wouldn't be around much, so things were mostly in place as he had left them a month prior. He just needed to put away his things, check all the window and door locks, and get his mail. Then he'd be able to get a beer and relax for the first time in weeks.
As usual, his mailbox was stuffed full. Both the property manager and the mail carrier were aware that Leon would disappear for large chunks of time, so they made do with what they could.
Leon wandered back to his apartment from the mailbox area slowly, carding through all the junk mail. He didn't usually get anything other than random advertisements and coupons. Most of these weren't even for him, but previous tenants.
He paused on something he had never seen before. A red envelope with a handwritten address on it and a Christmas tree stamp in the top right corner. He flipped it over, but there was no return address.
Leon entered his apartment and locked the door behind him with all five locks he built into the door before plopping down on his couch. Who the fuck was sending him mail? It was addressed to him specifically. Maybe this was a trap and it would kill him with anthrax or something if he opened it. He certainly had more enemies than anything else these days.
It was a risk he was willing to take. With a shaky hand, he used a pocket knife to cut open the envelope and dump out the contents onto his coffee table.
It was a Christmas card. From Chris fucking Redfield.
Leon stared blankly at the card for what felt like forever. It displayed a tired but smiling Chris hoisting up a little Rosemary Winters in his arms.
That's right, he had adopted her. After the death of Ethan Winters a few years ago, Chris had taken her in. Something had happened to her mother, Mia Winters, but Leon wasn't privy to the details. It was sad hearing about civilian deaths through the grapevine, but there wasn't anything Leon could do about it.
This was the first year that Rose was solely in Chris's custody. She would be five now. She looked happy in the photo, arms looped around Chris's neck and a toothy grin on her face. It seemed that for her first Christmas with Chris, he was pulling out all the stops. That was good, a young child needed stability and love.
Leon glanced over the text in the card before doing a double take. This wasn't just an average Christmas card, it was a handwritten invite. In Chris’s blocky, all-caps writing, he requested that Leon join the Redfields for the 2025 holidays.
Leon stared at the card for a long time before tossing it back onto the table and pulling his phone out of his pocket.
After a few rings, the person he called answered.
“This is Chris Redfield.”
“Chris, did you actually send me a fucking Christmas card?”
“Hey Leon. I did. Did you actually read it and want to plan, or did you just call to accuse me of holiday joy?”
Leon sighed, leaning back in his spot on the couch. “Chris, I don't do holidays. Thanks for the invite though, I guess.”
“Uh-huh. Claire and Sherry are gonna get here the Sunday before Christmas and stay through until the New Year. You can come anytime you want and stay for as long as you want, but it'd be really nice if you were here for Christmas Day. You still have my address saved somewhere?”
“It's like you don't even listen when others are talking to you. I said I'm not coming.”
“Normally I’d just say something like this is nonnegotiable, but this time I’m gonna explain why. Rose is struggling with her mom no longer being in the picture and she needs love. That means from the whole village. I mean, Claire and Sherry told me you've only ever sent presents from afar despite them inviting you to every holiday every year since 1998.”
“I'm not actually a part of your family, Chris.” Leon’s mouth felt dry. Obviously he was just someone on the periphery of everyone's lives. Something that important was not for someone like him.
“We all disagree. I've talked it over with Claire and Sherry, and I'm not allowing another year where you think you can get out of this. So like I said, you can show up when you want, just please be around on the 25th. If you need my address again, text me.”
With that, Chris hung up. Leon chucked his phone across the room. It didn't relieve any of his frustration. Arguing with Chris was like arguing with the wall.
Leon would ignore all this for now. There were still a couple of weeks until Christmas, and hopefully he'd get a mission by then as a real excuse.
***
Leon rested his head on the steering wheel of his car. He was parked down the street from Chris’s modest house in New York the morning of Christmas Eve. He thought that the five hour drive would be enough for him to get the courage to go in and pretend to be what everyone wanted him to be, but clearly it wasn't.
He reached for the spot where he typically kept his flask tucked away in his jacket. There was nothing there. Dammit past Leon, for insisting he'd totally be able to not drink for a couple of days.
The alcohol was fantastic at dulling nerves. Sure, it dulled everything else too. But as long as Leon didn't have to suffer through reality totally unfiltered, then it wasn't a big deal. This time, he'd have to act normal on his own and pretend he didn't have withdraw shakes.
Leon shot up straight with a swear when someone knocked in the driver side window. His hand flew to his combat knife. He didn't bring any guns because he wasn't sure what was allowed near a young child like Rose, but he couldn't make himself leave totally unarmed.
By the time he got the knife out and pointed it uselessly at the window, his brain caught up with him. Chris Redfield was on the other side with raised eyebrows and a bemused smile. Of course he was wearing an egregiously tacky light up ugly Christmas sweater displaying Frosty the Snowman on it. He waved at Leon who groaned, rolling down the window.
“Redfield,” Leon said through gritted teeth.
“Leon, it's good to see you. I saw you pass by the house and was wondering if you were gonna come in, so I came out to check on you.”
“Okay.” Leon didn't really know what to say to that.
Chris shifted awkwardly in place for a few moments before speaking again. “So, you coming in?”
Leon sighed, shooing Chris away from the car door so he could get out. Chris obeyed and followed Leon as he rounded the car and popped open the trunk. There were four neatly wrapped presents in the same cheesy Disney princess themed wrapping paper.
Chris grinned at the presents. “I didn't think you'd get so into it.”
Leon hunched his shoulders and shoved his hands in his pockets. He wasn't sure why he felt embarrassed about it. “It seemed like something a five year old girl would like. And I was only buying one type of wrapping paper, so you'll have to make do with Elsa from Frozen and all her little friends.”
Chris grabbed the two larger presents and tucked one each arm. Leon rolled his eyes and grabbed the other presents before locking the car. He trudged behind Chris down the road and up the driveway to Chris’s house.
Chris lived in a cute modern two-story. As of right now, a large wreath dotted with holly hung on the door and dangling Christmas lights lined the overhang of the building. Leon knew that despite the amount of time Chris has historically spent away on missions, Chris had always wanted a nice home base that anyone could come to and be safe at. Leon had known about it for a long time, but he never felt the need to intrude on anyone's space before. He was only here now because Claire had called him and gave him a very convincing threat if he chose not to show up.
Chris opened the door and ushered Leon in. A wave of warm light and spiced holiday scents hit Leon all at once.
For a brief moment, Leon was seven years old again. That was the last Christmas his parents were alive. They weren't great people, but they loved him. Despite not having much, they tried every year to get Leon a couple of presents, to set up a shitty poorly decorated tree in the living room of their two bed apartment, and to spend the time with him that every kid craved.
That last Christmas with them, his mom baked cookies with him for Santa Claus. His dad relaxed on the couch with a beer as a Christmas movie played on the TV. It was as warm as Leon felt now in the present, with all the same sights and smells. He wanted to tuck tail and run, because he knew what would happen next. The people involved in those warm fuzzy feelings would get themselves killed and he'd be all alone again.
There was this saying that Leon hated. ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.’ What total bullshit. There was a reason Leon isolated himself; nothing hurt more on the goddamned planet than loving someone and them abandoning him, intentional or not. He would’ve been better off never knowing what it was like with his parents.
Apparently Leon had been lost in his head for too long, because Chris nudged him in the back. “You're blocking the door, Leon.”
Leon’s body kicked into gear for him, shuffling to the side to allow Chris to pass. Chris kicked off his boots near the door as he shut it before looking sternly at Leon. “This is a no shoes on household.”
Leon acquiesced, slipping out of his sneakers. He wasn't wearing anything outside the ordinary for his casual days off. He had dug out the most Christmassy thing he could find in his closet, a green plaid flannel. He planned on wearing it two days in a row before heading back home late on Christmas Day.
They were standing in a small foyer. Jackets hung from hooks on the wall and tiny hot pink shoes lined the wall next to massive dark men’s boots. Leon could also pick out what would be Claire and Sherry’s shoes. Leon left his shoes at the end of the line closest to the door so it'd be easy for him to slip out later.
Chris ushered him into the adjacent room; a living room with a Christmas tree set up. No one was in there, so Leon felt comfortable enough to peek around as Chris dumped the presents in his hands under the tree. The whole place seemed to be decorated based on Chris’s sentimental nature. There were all sorts of photos and mementos collected from Chris’s life lining the walls. He had gone all out on holiday decorations, including stockings with individual names on them hanging on the mantle and handmade ornaments on the tree. He had even gotten one for Leon.
Leon placed the last two presents under the tree. The bottom of the tree was crowded already, mostly with things for Rose from ‘Santa’. Before he could peek at anything in greater depth, Chris clapped Leon on the shoulder.
“Come on, the others are in the kitchen. I believe we need to make enough cookies for Santa.” Chris said this totally straight, like he was serious about the whole ordeal.
Leon let out a small laugh. “Okay. I didn’t realize you were so into this kinda thing.”
“I’ve always tried to make the holidays good for people. It’s nice to have one thing that’s normal in life. Rose needs the normal. Claire and Sherry need the normal. I need the normal.”
And I don’t? Leon thought. It made sense that he had never been considered before, but fuck if it didn’t hurt hearing out loud how much he wasn’t thought of. He wasn’t their family, so it made sense.
Leon let Chris drag him through an archway into a kitchen. At the island in the center of the room, Claire stood behind Rose boosted up by a chair. They were wearing matching holiday pajamas, with Rose’s hair braided out of her face. She stuck her tongue out in concentration as she mixed ingredients in a bowl at Claire’s guidance. Claire gave Leon a small wave when she saw him enter behind Chris.
Sherry sat on a stool on the other side of the island with her elbows on the counter and her head resting on her hands, a gentle smile on her face as she watched. She glanced over and stood beaming when she spotted Leon.
“Leon! You came.” Sherry rushed forward and tackled Leon with a big hug.
Leon returned it with a deep breath. “Hey kiddo, how are you?”
“I’m good, thanks.” Sherry pulled back. “We weren’t sure if Chris would be able to convince you to come, but I’m so happy you’re here.”
Leon tried not to grimace as he nodded.
***
The whole night, Leon felt out of place. The other adults kept trying to involve him in the festivities, but Leon wasn’t sure he knew what he was supposed to be doing.
They did all the right things, he supposed. They asked him about his life. They asked him to participate in games. They invited him to watch some stupid kids holiday movie. Leon tried his best, but the entire night he felt like he was gonna throw up.
As the evening moved on and the movie credits rolled, Rose yawned and rested her head on Claire’s lap in their spot on the couch.
“Okay, I think it’s bedtime.” Claire scooped up Rose in her arms and headed upstairs. Sherry followed behind, saying something about a bedtime story. This left Leon and Chris alone in the living room.
Leon was sitting on the floor with his legs drawn close to his chest and his chin resting on his knees. Chris stood up from his recliner and stretched with a small groan. Leon averted his eyes from where Chris’s stupid ugly ass sweater rode up his stomach.
A shadow suddenly fell over Leon. He peeked up through his bangs to see Chris standing over him.
“Hey, you doing okay?” Chris asked. It was obvious he meant it, too.
Leon shrugged. “I guess.”
“Hmm.” Chris seemed to consider something before sticking out a hand for Leon to take. Leon stared at him blankly for a few seconds. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging.”
At Chris’s prodding, Leon reluctantly took the hand. Chris pulled Leon up to a standing position. Chris didn’t let go right away, which was weird. It took Leon trying to tug his hand out of Chris’s grip for Chris to release him.
“Do you want a beer?” Chris started towards the kitchen. “I think I need a beer. We each only get one, though.”
Leon snorted at the obvious underhanded comment about his drinking from Chris, but followed him into the kitchen. “I’m okay with one beer. I’m not that raging of an alcoholic.”
Chris didn’t say anything to that as he opened the fridge and pulled out two beer bottles. He gestured for Leon to follow him to the sliding glass door that led to the deck.
“Hell no, it’s gonna be freezing out there. I know you run as hot as a furnace but I’m sensitive to that kind of thing.” Leon remained firmly planted in place, hugging himself at the thought of going outside in the winter temperature without his jacket on.
“You can use mine.” Chris plucked a big wool peacoat from the small closet near the doors and held it up triumphantly. “This’ll get you through anything.”
Leon worked his jaw as he considered the situation. “Really Chris, why are you doing this?”
“I think you deserve to enjoy your holiday as much as anyone else. You like a good beer and some peace and quiet.” Chris said it like it was simple, grabbing the plate of cookies for Santa from the counter. “Plus, someone needs to eat these cookies.”
Leon didn’t answer, instead whisking the coat from Chris’s hands and wrapping it around himself. They stepped out onto the back deck and sat on the steps that led down to the backyard. Chris handed over the beer to Leon and knocked their bottle together in a cheers. He munched on the cookies while Leon remained focused on his beer.
Chris was nice enough to let Leon sit in the quiet and just look out at their surroundings. Chris’s backyard wasn’t huge, surrounded with a wooden fence. The skies were clear and the stars twinkled brightly. Leon was content to trace constellation patterns from memory across the sky as his beer dwindled down to empty.
At some point, Chris sighed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Leon glanced at Chris. He looked tired.
Leon debated whether he should say something, but if he could help Chris, then he needed to. “Are you doing okay?”
Chris grunted in response. “Yeah. Just tough, you know? I’ve always done my best for holidays. Did them for Claire when I was responsible for her. Did them for Sherry when Claire would bring her all those years ago. Doing it for Rose now. And I’ll always do it, I don’t mind the work. It’s just something I haven’t had for myself in a long time.”
Chris looked up, eyes wandering over the yard with no real target. Leon studied his face in the light spilling from the kitchen.
Leon intentionally isolated himself. There was no point in ever caring about his attractions or sexuality because no one would ever put up with his job and attitude. But he had to admit that Chris was gorgeous. A young Leon would have fallen head over heels with the way Chris was now; a handsome older man with insane muscles and a gentle disposition. There wasn’t anything Leon could even come up with about Chris that he would dislike. He could admit that Chris’s previous insistences on butting into Leon’s life were better for him overall.
Moving to the step beyond just fantasies in his head would be impossible to ask for. Leon could, for the rest of his life, be okay with being alone if it meant the people he cared the most about were safe and happy. Chris would be safe and happy, especially in his newer role behind the scenes instead of the front lines in the big fight against evil. Leon would support him from the shadows and cheer him on.
Chris turned to face Leon, startling him out of his thoughts. “Thanks for coming, Leon. Claire said that it’s been impossible over the years to get you to come to things like this.”
“It’s– it’s no problem. I don’t mind.”
“If you don’t mind, then you should come to more,” Chris continued. “I know Claire and Sherry love seeing you. Rose knows you as her Uncle Leon. I’m always happy to see you.”
Leon huffed. “Happy to see me. Right.”
“I mean that, Leon.” Chris maintained eye contact that Leon struggled to match. It was like Chris was staring straight into his soul and would realize there was nothing useful in there. “You’re great to be around. I wish we could hang out more often.”
Leon broke the stare, letting his head hang with his bangs in his face. Chris didn’t push him further on it, but the whole conversation hung in the air like a dark cloud around Leon.
Eventually Chris stood. “Now I’m starting to get cold, so I’m heading in. Don’t forget, we’ll all be up bright and earlier tomorrow morning to come bother you. You’re okay with sleeping on the couch, yeah?”
“Yep.” Leon stood. If he could get out of the cold, then that’s what he wanted.
Chris locked up the house, turned off all the lights, left the empty cookie plate with crumbs on the counter, and went upstairs with a wave goodnight, leaving Leon alone on the couch in the living room.
Sitting in the dark room, Leon laid down and shifted under the blanket he was given. It felt bizarre staring at a Christmas tree with all the lights off. It was like a cruel metaphor for his own life experiences.
Leon didn’t manage to fall asleep for hours until the exhaustion finally pulled him under.
***
Leon was a light sleeper out of unfortunate necessity, so he shot up to a standing hand-to-hand combat position when he heard a noise. It took a few seconds for him to analyze the situation. He was in Chris’s house. There were no intruders or BOWs to fight. And Rose Winters was staring at him from her spot on the ground, hand stuck into one of the present bags under the tree.
They stared at each other for a minute before Leon was able to make himself speak. “Are you supposed to be doing that?”
Rose silently withdrew her hand without breaking eye contact. They didn’t really know each other very well. Leon had only met Rose a handful of times before and it was always in passing. He didn’t have a ton of experience with children this young.
Leon decided the best course of action would be stalking over to the kitchen. “Well, I think I need something for breakfast before things get too exciting. It’s the most important meal of the day, you know.”
Rose perked up at that, trailing behind with the soft pitterpatter of tiny feet on the kitchen tile. Leon opened the fridge and rummaged around, trying to make sense of Chris’s organizational skills.
“What would you like? What do you normally have?”
“Um,” Rose clambered up onto a barstool at the island. “Can we have pancakes? Cause it’s a special day.”
“Sure, if Chris had the stuff for it.”
Leon didn’t realize how much fun he was having hunting through Chris’s pantry for pancake mix. raiding the fridge for ingredients, and being silly with Rose as they tried making the pancakes together until he saw Claire standing in the archway of the kitchen, leaning against the wall with a grin.
He felt strangely embarrassed about it, shoulders drooping as Rose waved at Claire. “Hey Auntie Claire! We’re making pancakes! Leon said I could have chocolate chips in mine.”
“Wow, that’s exciting. It’s a big day, after all.” Claire joined them at the counter, looking down at the work so far. Leon had made about 5 plain pancakes, with more on the way in a griddle on the stove. “I see you managed to find everything you need.”
Leon shrugged. “What kind of pancakes do you want?”
“Chocolate chip, obviously.” Claire settled on the stool next to Rose.
Over the next thirty minutes, Sherry came down, followed by Chris. Chris was like a bloodhound, hunting down the source of sugar he could smell from upstairs and immediately grabbing a pancake with his bare hands to shove in his mouth. Rose laughed at him for being gross while he argued that pancakes were a perfectly acceptable finger food.
As soon as Leon realized his heart was swelling with happiness, his stomach dropped. This was bad. If he got it in his head that he could enjoy this kind of thing, then he’d start to expect it. If he expected it, then it would shatter him when it became obvious he didn’t deserve it.
He was about to back out of the whole situation when Chris clapped his hands together. “I think we’ve all been patient enough, but it’s Christmas Day. So let’s go open presents.”
As soon as the word ‘presents’ left Chris’s mouth, Rose shot out off of her stool and into the living with an excited yell. The others followed her over, Chris stalling in the doorway to emphatically gesture at Leon to hurry up and join them. Leon gave up and joined them. He couldn’t wriggle his way out of this yet.
Claire and Sherry sat on the couch. Chris sat on the edge of his recliner. Leon decided the best spot for him would be on the floor, out of the way. He didn't realize that Rose would also be on the floors as she carefully sorted through the presents.
“Rose, if you're gonna be responsible for the presents, then you need to hand them out evenly,” Chris explained. “So after you open a present, you should check and see if there's a present for Claire, or for Sherry. Does that make sense?”
Rose nodded in excitement before grabbing the closest present to her, the bag Leon had caught her with earlier that morning. She ripped out the tissue paper to reveal a Barbie doll with a squeal of delight.
Slowly, she worked through three presents for herself, one for Claire from Chris and one for her from Sherry, and two for Sherry from the collective Redfield family. Leon didn’t realize that he was zoned out until Rose started shaking his leg. She placed a small wrapped box onto his lap. “This is for you. From Santa.”
Leon looked at the tag. In what was obviously Chris’s handwriting, the gift was addressed to Leon from Santa. He belatedly realized that he didn’t even label the presents he brought.
He glanced around the room to all eyes on him. “Is this really for me?”
“Yeah, if it has your name on it,” Chris responded. Leon resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Chris’s nonchalant attitude.
Leon carefully peeled back the wrapped paper and opened the box.
“Holy sh– shoot…” He managed to rein in his swearing and surprise at the expensive looking watch nestled inside before giving Chris an incredulous look. “You didn’t actually buy me something this expensive, did you?”
Chris narrowed his eyes. “Santa brought it for you. That was very nice of him.”
Claire snorted as she visibly tried to hold in her laughter.
Sherry kept a peaceful smile on her face. “It’s true, Leon. If you were on the nice list, then you get a nice present.”
Traitors, all of them. Leon closed the box and set it to the side. He wouldn’t touch it so that Chris could return it later.
By the time only a few presents remained under the tree, Rose had gotten all sorts of toys and gifts. Chris, Claire, and Sherry had each received a few things. And Leon was actively ignoring the small pile he had gotten including a nice cologne, a nice set of chocolates, and that stupid fucking watch.
The only presents left under the tree were the ones that Leon wrapped. Rose took one, turned it over in her hands, then looked up confused at the adults in the room. “There’s nothing on it.”
Leon leaned forward. “I know who they belong to. Santa let me know earlier. That one is for Sherry.”
Rose dropped it in Sherry’s lap, before handing off one for Chris and Claire at Leon’s direction. Leon sat nervously through it all; what if they didn’t like what he got them? He had tried his best, but this type of thing wasn’t his expertise.
Sherry hugged the nice cashmere sweater in a light lavender color she got to herself with a smile. “Wow, Santa knows me so well.” Her eyes twinkled like she was a little girl again.
Claire grinned at the nice kitchen knife set in her hands. She had been complaining to Leon weeks prior that the shitty knives she had weren’t enough to cut it for how much she was cooking for herself these days. These would last the rest of a lifetime, hopefully.
Chris didn’t even show the others the gift Leon got him. He peeked under the lid of the medium sized box and shut it. When Claire leaned over to try and see, Chris held it close to his chest like a kid hiding something from his sibling to be annoying.
“Nuh-uh. This is just for me. From Santa,” Chris chastised. Claire huffed but threw up her hands in defeat.
That pissed Leon off. How was he supposed to know if Chris actually liked it or not? He spent more money than he should have on a custom tackle box with hand tied lures from some expert that knew what they were doing. Sure, that made him a hypocrite. But he didn’t fucking care, and Claire had told Leon that Chris was fucking fishing again for the first time in ages and that he planned on taking Rose with him. Which meant that Leon absolutely had to get him something that aligned with his interests.
Maybe this whole thing was a bad idea. Leon shifted uncomfortably in his spot on the floor, but he had to quickly school his face into something positive when Rose tugged on his pantleg.
“Who’s the last gift for?” She stared up at him with big round eyes.
“You, of course. It’s the biggest one,” Leon answered.
Rose tore apart the wrapping with gusto. All the pain and suffering Leon went through to pick out the best gift for a little girl he barely knew was worth it to see the look on Rose’s face as she hugged an American Girl doll of Elsa from Frozen. It was pricey and he fought innocent parents over it to secure one, but he didn’t regret it for a moment. He even bought that Frozen themed wrapping paper to match.
Rose pulled the doll from the packaging and clambered up onto the couch, wedging herself between Sherry and Claire, showing off the new doll. Leon had a small grimace on his face at the sight; he wasn’t part of the family and it was clear he stuck out like a sore thumb. That was until Chris came over to loom above Leon.
When Leon finally made eye contact with him, Chris grinned. “Help me in the kitchen for a minute.”
Leon groaned, but followed without arguing. In the kitchen, Chris pulled enough mugs for everyone out of the cabinet and started the electric kettle alongside the coffee maker on the counter. Leon sat on a stool at the island with his arms crossed and a pout on his face.
“Thanks, Leon. For everything.” Chris suddenly spoke as the kettle started heating the water and the coffee maker started grinding. “The gifts you brought were really nice.”
Leon chewed his lip as he considered what to say. Chris wouldn't accept Leon complaining that everything for him was too much while spending way out of a normal budget for friends in the first place. He finally settled on relenting now, and complaining later.
“Yeah. You’re welcome.”
Chris raised his eyebrows at Leon’s response. It seemed like he expected more pushback on that. The kettle beeped as it reached temperature, followed by the coffee maker sputtering out a pot. Chris poured four cups of coffee for the adults, and made one cup of hot chocolate for Rose. Leon helped carry the mugs back out into the living room.
***
Leon thought he’d be able to sneak out in the late afternoon while everyone was distracted. Sherry was helping Rose set up some of her more complicated toys, Claire was prepping dinner in the kitchen, and Chris was doing godknowswhat in the garage.
He shoved on his shoes, presents tucked under one arm, and left through the front door as inconspicuously as possible. The only thing that ruined his plan was that the door to the garage was open, so when Leon stepped out and started towards his car, he made awkward eye contact with Chris.
Chris dropped the box he was moving and marched out to Leon with a set jaw. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“Uh. Home?” It wasn’t the answer Chris wanted, but it was the one Leon had for him. “I didn’t want to take up anymore of your time.”
That explanation caused Chris to go from annoyed to outright pissed. “You don’t take up any of our time. You’re here because we want you here.”
Leon looked down at the ground. This was a lot, and he felt so guilty. He was stuck in between a rock and a hard place here. Either he stayed and remained super uncomfortable or he left and angered Chris.
“Leon, look.” Chris’s voice softened as he put a hand on Leon’s shoulder. “We want you here. I want you here. Everyone likes you being around because we love you.”
Even if it was in the context of the group, Chris saying the words ‘love you’ was the last hit needed to fully shatter Leon’s heart into a million little pieces. Everything was so goddamned unfair.
Leon wasn’t emotionally stable enough in the moment to handle this like an adult, so he promptly burst into tears. A series of expressions passed over Chris’s face as he went from confused to concerned to horrified to complete panic.
“Oh my god, please don’t cry. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Chris’s hands hovered around Leon before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him into the garage. Leon hiccuped through the tears as he sat on a box and hugged himself.
Chris closed the garage door before kneeling in front of Leon, a frown on his face. “Shit, I’m so sorry Leon. I don’t know what I said, but I never meant to upset you.”
Leon sniffed hard as he studied Chris’s face. At his age, he had deep lines in his face, both brow creases and smile lines. It was a strange paradox of the good and bad times in his life. Yet he somehow had these big round puppy eyes like a little kid. And that concern, it pierced straight through Leon’s heart.
“I didn’t… I didn’t mean to ruin the mood,” Leon whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It was my fault,” Chris responded automatically.
Leon felt like he needed to explain himself. Chris was blaming himself for something that wasn’t actually his fault.
“It’s me. I haven’t had–” Leon laughed bitterly midsentence. “I haven’t had a Christmas since I was seven. Before my parents died. It just didn’t seem like something I deserved. I know that probably sounds stupid. It just feels like I’m imposing on something special and making everything worse.”
Chris reached out and grabbed Leon’s hands, which confused Leon. “Listen Leon. You’re not just welcome here, you belong here. You always have. Claire, Sherry, me. We all want you in our lives, you know that. Rose likes her Uncle Leon, who got her a nice expensive doll that she loves. Hell, I’m sure she’ll be talking about it for months. I wouldn’t have gotten you a nice matching watch if I didn’t think that you deserved it.”
Leon blinked at that. “Matching…?”
Chris raised an eyebrow while pointing at his left wrist. It was the exact same watch as Leon received that morning, down to the color. The watch that Leon had discreetly tucked away in Chris’s pantry to, in the most avoidant way possible, refuse it. Now he was feeling guilty about that, too.
Leon rubbed his eyes hard, digging the palm of his hand in to try and get the tears to stop. Chris sat there like the patient asshole he was. After enough minutes to calm down, Leon let out a heavy sigh.
“Do we have to go back in?” Leon mumbled.
Chris checked his watch. “Well, we’ll be in big trouble if we don’t go enjoy the meal Claire worked hard on. She’d kill us. So you have to stay. At least for the night. But I’d love it if you stayed even longer.”
Leon sniffed with a shrug. He let Chris drag him back inside and force him to be social.
***
Leon stared at the ceiling in the dark, laid out on Chris’s couch for another night, which he didn’t expect. He didn’t bring enough clothes for this, so he was wearing his day clothes. He hated it.
Leon sat up, checking his phone for the time. Midnight. Maybe Chris would still be awake if he went and checked. He quietly padded up the stairs, hunting for Chris’s bedroom door. He wasn’t super sure, but the one at the end of the hall was his best bet. Rose’s bedroom door was covered in princess stickers at kid height, so he at least knew which door not to try.
With a soft knock, Leon tried getting Chris’s attention. Seconds stretched past in total silence. Leon was just gearing up to try again when the door cracked open. A bleary-eyed Chris peeked through. When he realized he recognized the person at his door, he opened it fully.
“Hey Leon.” Chris wasn’t capable of whispering. “What’s going on?”
“Keep your fucking voice down,” Leon hissed. He shouldered his way inside and shut the door behind him. “Do you have anything I could wear to sleep? Hate sleeping in jeans but I didn’t bring enough clothes for a long stay.”
“Oh shit, yeah.” Chris turned to his closet and started rifling through the drawers in the dresser he had shoved in there. “I think I have something that’ll fit you.”
Chris pulled out a pair of oversized pajama bottoms and an extra extra large t-shirt and held them out. Leon stared at him before taking them with a sigh. “Maybe you need to tone down the workouts, man.”
Chris snickered and returned to his bed, flopping down on his back.
“Hope those fit okay enough. Sorry you have to sleep on the couch. Actually…” He sat up as a thought crossed his mind. “Why don’t you take the bed in here? I can take the couch.”
Leon scoffed at that, clenching the clothes in hand. “You’d be more uncomfortable than anyone else. It’s fine.”
“Come on, Leon.” Chris stood and started ushering Leon towards the bed. “I promise it’s nice and comfy. You deserve a good rest.”
Leon dug his heels into the carpet. “Chris.”
“Don’t ‘Chris’ me. I said you’ve gotta.” Chris patted Leon on the back. “It’s another one of your gifts.”
With a hard shove, Chris pushed Leon on the bed. Leon felt an embarrassing pang in his stomach at the gesture, but by the time he peeked back over his shoulder, Chris was already leaving with a shiteating grin.
Dammit. He won.
***
Leon woke up later than normal. He was twisted up in Chris’s sheets in Chris’s clothes, surrounded by a smoky scent that could only ever be Chris. He scrambled to escape the bed, tripping and falling onto the ground in his panic with a loud thud. He sat on the floor for a minute, trying to sort his thoughts.
By the time he started to recover, the door swung open. A concerned looking Chris poked his head in. “Everything okay in here?”
“Yep. Totally fine.” Leon stood up. “Just a misstep.”
“You’re not the type to have missteps.”
Leon shrugged, pushing past Chris and heading downstairs.
***
Every day, Leon kept trying to make excuses to leave. Every time, Chris came up with some new excuse for Leon to stick around until New Year’s Day. Claire and Sherry are staying, Rose wanted him to stay, it would be snowing when he was going to drive, so on and so forth. Leon gave up every time because he was weak. He was so weak that he felt his will breaking.
Leon had spent his entire goddamned life isolating himself on purpose. He was trying to protect himself. It took all his strength to find the pursuit of his mission every day. But people needed it to survive, and Leon was okay with setting himself on fire to warm others.
Yet here he was, wanting something more than he ever wanted in his life. Leon had never admitted it to anyone, but Chris was the type of person he would date if he could. Strong, kind, capable of pursuing justice without faltering, and fucking so handsome. It was unfair and stupid and agonizing. Being forced to spend a whole week in close quarters with him in fake domestic bliss, acting like everything was normal, was the worst thing Leon had to deal with in a long time. And he fought biological abominations for a living.
Leon felt like he was bouncing off the fucking walls by New Year’s Eve. If he could just make it through the night, then he’d be able to retreat home and lick his wounds alone in peace.
Chris was upbeat the whole day. It was almost annoying, but Leon was easily swayed by big puppy eyes and Rose’s charms. Leon was happy to be the uncle that did whatever Rose wanted. She was smart beyond her years and incredibly sharp, making it impossible to trick her about anything.
However, Chris still insisted she had to go to bed at the usual time. Instead of staying up for the real countdown, they had a mini fake one near her bedtime and Claire went upstairs with her to read her a bedtime story. Sherry retreated to the guest room she was staying in with a wave and a yawn.
That left Leon and Chris alone. Which sucked. Leon decided his best course of action would be to hide out on the back deck with a mixed drink that Claire made him. She intentionally made it weak, but he didn’t care. He leaned against the deck railing and looked up to the stars.
Leon didn’t realize he had been out there for a long time until the sound of the glass doors sliding alerted him to someone joining him outside. He tried not to audibly sigh.
Chris shuffled up next to him and joined him in leaning against the railing with a beer in hand. “It’s almost midnight. You gonna watch the ball drop?”
Leon snorted. “No way. It’s the same thing every year.”
“Well, Sherry went to bed and Claire is staying with Rose. I think she fell asleep in there.”
“Well, it’s been a tough holiday. Too much relaxing for everyone.” Leon swirled the remains of his drink in his glass.
Chris chuckled at that, taking a sip from his beer. “We’ll have to celebrate on our own, then. In our own way.”
“And what way is that?” Leon side eyed Chris.
Chris looked serious, and nervous. Leon could see the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. What could he be thinking about that’s making him so nervous?
Fireworks went off throughout the neighborhood, illuminating their faces in a rainbow of colors. Chris’s eyes were wide and unblinking, peering directly into Leon’s soul.
Before Leon could react, Chris pressed his lips against Leon’s in a messy, uncoordinated kiss. Leon made a small shocked noise in the back of his throat. In this moment, Leon briefly wondered if he died and this was the afterlife. It couldn’t be heaven, because Leon didn’t deserve that. But this couldn’t be hell, if Chris was kissing him.
They remained frozen for a few seconds, lost in time due to Chris’s actions. When Leon didn’t move, Chris started to pull back with a cringing look.
Dammit Leon, this was your chance and you’re letting it slip away. Do something! Leon’s thoughts screamed at him to move.
Leon’s hand shot out and grabbed the back of Chris’s head, gripping his hair as he slammed their faces back together. Chris had the audacity to make a surprised noise himself, before relaxing against Leon. His arms snaked around Leon’s waist, hands settling on his ass with a small squeeze.
At some point, Leon needed to come up for air. He squirmed in Chris’s arms while trying to shove him back enough to make some distance between them. Chris relented with confusion. “Is everything okay?”
“I have to breathe, Chris,” Leon said through pants. “It’s like you’re the world champion in breath holding.”
Chris laughed, low and baritone, letting his head fall onto Leon’s shoulder. He nosed along Leon’s collarbone.
“Chris,” Leon whispered. “What are we gonna do now?”
“Go to bed, hopefully. And this time, neither of us has to be stuck on the couch.” Chris peeked up at Leon. “If that’s what you want.”
Leon answered without thinking. “I want.”
Chris beamed, hoisting Leon up in his arms despite Leon’s protests. He walked them inside, abandoning their drinks on the deck, and trudged upstairs with Leon in hand. In his bedroom, he flopped onto the bed, never letting Leon go.
Leon accepted his fate. If Chris was willing, then he was willing. It didn’t even cross his mind that this was the first holiday with someone else he had since he was a child. Being with Chris after all this time was so natural, it was normal.
Maybe he would stay tomorrow. And the day after that. And as many days as Chris would be willing to let him stick around.