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Hold Me Close

Summary:

Lance's heat is approaching... he has never felt so alone before.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

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The thing about Lance was that... he was too cocky.

He knew it, his family knew it, his friends knew it, hell anyone who had spent more than 10 minutes with him knew it.

That's not to say it was a bad thing per se, it just... resulted in a lot of embarrassing, sometimes painful and/or humiliating situations.

Lance would be the first to admit that his cockiness was the source of 80% of all his trouble ( the number has gone down since his garrison days, 'cause thankfully the Galra were not his fault) so it stands to reason that the source of the sort of trouble he found himself in was his cocky nature, right?

...Except not really, it was more a deep-seated deliberating sort of fear that he knew was completely irrational ...but survival instinct was hella high in that one.

The fact that he was an Omega and no one knew about it wouldn't necessarily be a problem, if he had his suppressants that is.

But space was weird like that, it was interesting and strange and dangerous and it left no room in his mind to think about inconsequential things like heats or cycles or whatever shit. So at first, it didn't register as a problem and with them being bombarded by the Galra every time they so much as took a breath, heats were pushed further and further away from his mind.

Getting used to living in space and getting used to the idea that he won't be seeing his family any time soon was hard. A bit too hard sometimes when he thinks of his parents calming scents and his sisters' overbearing, sometimes annoying , mostly welcomed presence, it made him curl up at night, with a hollow feeling in his chest.

But Lance was nothing if not resilient. He pushed away his homesickness, hiding it to darkness of the night and refused to think about his heats as they dredged up memories of gone, gone, all alone now.

He knew he should have talked to Coran about this earlier (like much earlier) he might have been able to whip up some synthesized heat suppressants but as stated before, he kept pushing it off, he knew Alteans wouldn't have any sort of stigma against his secondary gender, they barely even understood them as it is , but it still... unnerved him.

And he was busy! they were all busy being whipped into shape by Allura, getting used to the whole Defenders of the Universe gig, and well he thought he'd deal with it when the time came and left it at that. No use worrying about something like that now.

Excuses his mind whispers.

Coward it whispers some more.

___

It started out small, they were all sitting around the dining table poking at their green food goo (the only thing left in the castle, it's been a while since their last supply run) talking among themselves, and Lance found himself spacing out more than usual, which was a lot more, he was staring at Keith, or more specifically, Keith's jacket.

He couldn't help but think how soft it looked and how comfortable he would be wrapped up in it, and it probably smelt a lot like keith... and that didn't hurt in the least because even if there were no explicit words stated, the 5 of them, and Allura and Coran of course, were a pack, and for some reason he craved the scent of his pack around him.

His mind traveled back to when he was on earth, where craving comfort was easily rectified by cuddling with his parents or burrowing himself between the twins as they giggle and shriek happily or even something as simple as helping Mariana style her hair, or even playing Mario-Kart (which he knew he'd lose) against Izzy, he wasn't at home where he could just sneak out any article of clothing without his family mentioning it ... but he didn't have his family here...

Here his pack didn't even know he was an omega, he couldn't just ask Keith for his jacket without it being...weird.

"-ance, Lance!"

Lance turned his head distractedly looking at Hunk, who by the looks of it have been trying to gain his attention for a while.

"Hey man, you alright?" He sounded a bit worried and lance was overcome with the urge to soothe it away.

He gave himself a mental shake and plastered a grin on his face.

"Totally dude, sorry just, uh lost in thought." he said.

Hunk didn't look too convinced.

"Sure? 'cause you were staring at Keith pretty hard man, like he was a really tasty piece of meat, and uh I know the goo is not that good but I draw the line at cannibalism man." he pitched his voice too low for them to be heard by anyone, but still Lance couldn't help the splutter.

And oh, oh. realization struck.

He felt himself flush.

"Y-yeah totally fine, not staring, just uh, looking." and before he could do anything more embarrassing (or revealing) a traitorous part whispers, he quickly stands up.

The chair makes an awful scraping noise and everyone was now staring at him, cold sweat broke on his skin.

"T-thanks for the food, I uh... remembered gotta go do -uh something." and with that eloquent comment he all but fled the dining room.

Unbeknown to him the others shared a worried look.

"Is something the matter with Lance?" Allura asked eyeing Hunk.

" I... I'm not sure." Hunk said just as bewildered.

"Probably needed the bathroom or something" Pidge said with a shrug, but they didn't sound too convinced.

"Maybe I should go check on him" That was Shiro, god bless his bleeding alpha heart.

There was a murmur of assent and Shiro rose to follow the blue paladin out.

Lance was nowhere to be found. not in his room, not in the blue lion's hanger not even on the sparring deck.

Shiro frowned worriedly. his fists clenching.

____

Lance was moving in a blind haze of panic, when he finally calmed down enough to slow down his sprint he found himself in one corner of the castle that is hardly used by anyone, Lance took a deep breath feeling it rattle in his chest and sunk down to the ground, his legs no longer able to support him.

He took deep measured breathes, trying to remember how his body was actually supposed to work. because god damn it, this was okay. There was no reason to panic, his suppressants were wearing off, his Omegan instincts were surfacing, he just wanted to nest. it was normal, natural. he kept telling himself. But god damn it, he was so fucking scared.

He knew Omegas were not always accepted in social circles, male omegas even less-so. having an Omega at the garrison was rare, having an Omega fighter pilot was all but unheard of. so he kept it hidden. always careful to be on suppressants, and when he couldn't, he made sure to schedule a vacation where he could spend his heat surrounded by his family's familiar comforting scents.

He knew the comments that would have arose had he revealed his secondary gender.

' Only reason he's fighting class is cause he spreads his legs to any willing cock, slutty omega ' they'd say behind his back, an echo to when he was in middle school and on the top of his grade.

He shuddered.

Lance knew the team wouldn't think any less of him, at least- he hoped they wouldn't...

Would Hunk be angry that he never told him? would Keith and Pidge look at him in disgust, would Shiro be disappointed? would they think him unworthy of Blue?

Lance's breath hitched at the thought, he curled around himself, he felt really...bad.

No, no he couldn't tell them. he wouldn't. he'd just hide for the next couple of days, say he's sick or something.

-----

It could have been hours later when he finally uncurled from his corner, bones creaking from being locked into place for too long.

Lance felt ridiculous, berating himself, he was too emotional. That's what happened when the suppressants started wearing off, the body was trying to re-balance its hormones, sending his emotions into whack.

He stumbled his way blindly towards his room... but...

He sighed and made a quick detour going through all the empty rooms in the corridor, stripping the beds of their soft sheets and gathering as many pillows as he could hold. They were scentless, which honestly sucked, but at least they were soft.

Looking around to make sure he was truly alone before moving, his blood ran cold at the thought of the others finding out about him.

His omega mind was screaming at him that it was fine, nesting was one of those private things easily hidden.

He hastily entered his room, locking the door behind him and dropped the soft fabrics in the furthest corner on the room away from the door, he spent a while perfecting the nest, changing the position of the pillows before finally settling down in the middle of the pile.

Now that he knew to look for it, he could already feel the pre-heat symptoms showing. The faint twinges in his lower belly, the slight sluggishness of his movements, the overwhelming need for comfort and cuddles and scenting.

Lance thumped his head on the wall and let out a guttural groan.

He needed a plan... and dinner.

He was so fucking hungry.

He could just tell them...

They'll hate you, the voice whispers.

No they won't, he tells himself firmly.

They could reject you, useless omega, what sort of badass heroes had a male omega with them.

Lance stood up suddenly. no. everything is gonna be fine.

___

Everything was not fine.

They were being attacked by the Galra, and everything was not fine.

Lance doesn't even remember getting into his lion much less fighting the fleet.

What he does remember is the shouting on the comms.

Keith's garbled shout of 'what the Quiznak' Pidge calling out his name and Allura shouting in his ear to just dodge! but he was too hot, his skin too tight his breathing was coming out in rigid puffs and godawful cramps were making their way down his abdomen, cramping his legs until they refuse to move.

Thank goodness for the telepathic bonds, Blue was able to move in the last second letting out a roar and freezing the offending ship, and if Lance wasn't so out of it, he would have let out a whoop of joy and started bragging about his beautiful smart girl. but for now all he could do is curl in his pilot chair and let out a muffled scream.

Blue's consciousness brushed his mind, sending comforting purrs that he was eternally grateful for.

People were still shouting at him on the comms and he felt awful about it, his chest constricted and hurt. He couldn't breathe, he was such a terrible omega, his pack was angry and he couldn't comfort them he let an involuntary whimper and there was a sudden hush on the comms.

Blue was descending back into the Castle of Lions but Lance was too out of it to notice. He felt lonely and lost, he wanted his mom, his sisters. He wanted his pack, he let out another whimper, heat was pooling in his gut and he felt the slick running down his legs, he felt disgusting.

Another whimper made its way out of his clenched lips, he could feel his eyes watering.

He wanted, he wanted so much.

The Blue lion sent more comforting purrs through, sensing her paladin's distress.

His chest felt hollow, he wanted someone to touch him, anyone, he wanted someone to hold him, but he was alone, no one knew.

He couldn't let anyone know.

Too late, a voice whispers back and the tears come with vengeance.

His stomach was cramping so bad, sending lightning spikes down his body, slick and sweat were starting to soak through the black fabric of his paladin suit. He didn't remember heats being this bad before, but before he was surrounded by family and comforting scents... now he was alone.

He whimpers and presses his face into his arms, knees pressing tighter into his chest.

"Oh my god."

That was Pidge, she was the first one inside the lion, and at the sound of their voice, Lance looked up, blue eyes hazy with pain and tears.

But the fear piercing his gut was unmistakable.

Resembling a deer in headlights, Lance stared at them with wide eyes, unsure of what to do.

They were both broken out of their stupor by the sound of loud stomps and Lance bit back a pathetic whimper.

"What the quiznak were you thin-" his words cut off as he caught a whiff of the sweet scent and laid sight on the pathetic boy. Keith's eyes widened, looking from Lance to pidge, his nose flared, a strange look made its way on his face, he turned on his heel and exited the lion.

It felt like being punched in the gut the whimper that tore through his throat was full of anguish.

Keith knew, Keith hated him, he already thought he was useless, now it was just confirmed, his new pack hates him, he's a burden.

Pidge bit their lips, unsure what to do, was that Keith rejecting Lance? They were so confused they thought of going out to get Shiro but one look at Lance told them they couldn't just leave him alone.

They approached him slowly, thinking of all the biology lessons they took in the garrison. They slowly drew circles on the scent gland on Lance's wrist, mingling their scents and comforting the distressed omega.

And Ha! who'd have thought Lance was an Omega? and why didn't he tell the team? going into heat like that was extremely dangerous. Not to mention probably painful. Pidge themselves hadn't presented yet, but they knew going into heat alone was bad.

"Hey Lance, Lance" They said firmly trying to regain the omega's attention.

Lance lifted his head tiredly, looking into Pidge's brown eyes, and their heart clenched for him.

"Can you walk? you need to get back to your room, or the healing pods, maybe Coran would have something to help you?-" They were rambling, but they were seriously out of depth here.

Lance was saved from answering by a commotion behind both of them, there was Keith and with him a worried looking Shiro and Hunk.

"K-keith?" Lance asked a hopeful note in his voice.

Maybe they don't hate him yet!

"I-uh got Shiro, I- didn't know what to do." Keith was mumbling, cheeks red and shoes scuffing the floor, and Lance was suddenly reminded that Keith never had a pack before.

Shiro strode over, a hulking figure over the hunched over boy and gently eased him into his arms, the touch of an Alpha was like a balm on his burning skin and Lance couldn't help burrowing into their leader's chest. neck tilting unconsciously to nuzzle the older man.

Shiro flushed but held on tight.

Shame filled his gut as he looked at the mess of an omega in his arms. Lance... didn't tell them. didn't tell him the pack Alpha and that was...that was bad.

Lance was looking at Keith now, from the safety of their leader's arms, his eyes barely peaking over the man's broad shoulders.

"You.. don't hate me?" it was said in an almost whisper but keith caught it.

"Of course not! why would I hate you for something like that?" the red paladin burst out sounding horrified by the very notion.

Lance shrunk into Shiro's arms his fists clenching the fabric of the man's shirt.

"I think it's better we take this somewhere more comfortable." That was Hunk suggesting in a gentle voice, ever the peacemaker.

But Lance was not listening he was busy thinking it over, no one was shouting in alarm or disgust, he wasn't being rejected. His family was surrounding him, protective and loving like how a pack should be. warmth bloomed into his chest, maybe he doesn't have to be alone anymore.

He knew his scent had to be affecting Shiro and Keith but they were probably too in control of themselves to turn feral on him, he thought in comfort. The previous adrenaline, combine with the relief of the acceptance, made him finally close his eyes and rest.

----

Allura and Coran were standing in the hanger bay, Allura wringing her hand and Coran pacing agitatedly behind her.

The moment the group made their way down, they descended on them.

Allura seeing lance passed out in Shiro's arm immediately asked.

"Is Lance alright? what happened?" her voice was tight.

Shiro smiled but it was small, worried.

"He's going to be fine Princess it's just his heat." Shiro said tiredly.

"Heat?" She looked at Pidge, " You said heat was the... omegan reproductive cycle, no? and Lance is a Beta?"

Pidge scratched their head. "Yeah well, we didn't know" and the shame in her words was enough to make the paladins flinch.

Hunk let out a small whimper.

A pack where the omega didn't trust its members enough to reveal itself was not a well-functioning pack.

Allura was just about to ask more questions when Coran grabbed her arm, she turned to look at the older man to find him shaking his head. the topic was obviously a sore thing for the paladins. it wouldn't be right to bring it up now.

The Alteans were nothing if not diplomats.

She allowed them to make way to Lance's room, dropping the topic.

----

Lance was safely placed back in his nest, his heat was lulling now, first wave passing over... during battle... good god that boy.

Shiro thought with a bewildered look.

Now he was curled away in the middle of his nest very well-made the alpha part of him couldn't help but notice.

The others were all asleep all over the room, but Shiro... couldn't.

This was the first pack he was responsible for, he thought he was doing a good job, but maybe he wasn't... maybe he was too wrapped up in his own head to notice that one of his pack mates was an omega... and one who was going into heat too.

There should have been signs, Lance has gone into great lengths to hide the truth (and didn't that sting) But he was the Alpha he should have noticed something.

Omegas were precious in a pack, cherished and well-cared for, they were the homemakers, the caretakers, the glue that held the pack together.

Shiro didn't know what to think...

"Shiro?"

Shiro whipped his head to stare at the boy who was looking at him fearfully.

Shiro's gut clenched. But still his face softened into a sweet smile and  slid closer to the blue paladin.

"How're you feeling buddy?"

Lance swallowed gingerly and Shiro quickly handed him a water bottle.

Lance looked grateful before downing half the bottle in one go.

"I- uh -um better now."

awkward silence.

"I'm so sorry shiro!" Lance finally half shouted out, his head bowed and his arms trembling.

The sound of a distressed omega spurred him into moving. Wrapping his arms around the lanky boy he rubbed his neck over the boy's head, scenting him and god they should have done that before what sort of pack doesn't scent each other?

"What are you sorry for Lance?" Shiro asked calmly, still nuzzling the omega.

"For... not telling you guys about- me" his breath hitched in the middle and like a dam broke, the words couldn't stop flowing. "For lying about myself, I know you guys probably wouldn't want a screw-up omega like me, and you guys deserve someone better someone who's a better pilot, and probably an Alpha or- or an omega that knows how to take care of its pack and is not t-" the rest of the sentence was muffled by Shiro's hand.

When Lance finally stopped talking over it, Shiro let go.

His thumbs came up to brush over Lance's cheek, rubbing away tears he didn't know had gathered there. Lance blushed at the intimate gesture, basking in the feel of the gentle touch on his skin, it's been so long and his skin was starving.

"Lance, you're not a screw-up. And there is no one who could pilot the blue-lion better than you. None of us care that you're an omega, and we don't hate you for not telling us. If anything it's our, no, my fault for making you think you won't be accepted."

Lance started to protest, but Shiro cut him.

"It is my fault Lance. I'm the Alpha, you're all my responsibility. I should take care of you and make you feel safe, and I failed that, I'm sorry. You are an important member of this pack and I failed you." Shiro's voice was tender his thumb brushing back and forth over smooth cheeks.

And Lance...Lance was gone.

He let out a hitching sound half laugh half sob and launched himself at the Alpha burying his nose in the junction of his neck and shoulder where his scent glands were located.

"I was so scared." Lance let out from between sobs. Shiro had recovered from his shock and hugged lance closer to his chest, making shushing and crooning noises.

"It's okay, everything is going to be fine now."

"We'll help you with your heat Lance, like a proper pack, and when this is all done, we'll all sit down and have a long talk, then we'll bond, like we should have done from the start. "

Lance made soft assenting noises, but his heat was slowly coming towards its high again, however, at this moment Shiro wasn't looking at Lance ,instead he was looking into 3 pairs of eyes, each looked back grim and understanding.

This was their pack now, this was their family and they would do anything to protect it and keep it healthy.

They might not have been the best pack, but that won't stop them from trying now.

Notes:

It's been so long since I posted anything anywhere, almost forgot how good it felt. Thank you for reading this far <3 hope you enjoyed it!
-Sevansa

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