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Puck Buzz @puckbuzzgossip
Panic! At the Bell Centre! The Montreal Metros miss the playoffs for the second season in a row. Experts and fans are wondering, what’s happening in Montreal? We asked our experts: Link
↳Its Metros 4 Lyfe @montrealmetrosfan1996
@MontrealMetros yo what the fuck?
↳Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
I know what God wants. He wants me to kill my fuckin’s self. That’s why he gave me a fucked up life.
↳Metros Babe ❤️💙 @bleedredandblue
I’m revoking my hatred of RPF to tell Hayden Pike to get in the MF’n field!!! 🗣🗣🗣🗣
↳↳It’s Metros or Bust @origsixmets
Pike had his chance and fumbled. We gotta tag someone else in.
↳↳↳Metro’s Bby Girl @callmeshayla
Is no one on the Metros slinging more than 8 inches??? 😭😭😭😭
↳Sal’s Shop 🚗 @mrfixit617
This beta fuckin team
↳↳💪🔥 @gymratwestside
Room fulla cucks I swear
↳↳↳Metro Man 🔴🔵 @neutralzonenick
Bro how was the gay guy the only fuckin’ Alpha?
↳↳↳↳Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
@grok order brain bleach and block everyone in this thread
Hollander’s #1 Girl @allabout24
Shout out to my Alpha Chad Alternate Captain Shane Hollander 😤😤
↳Pour it Up @bostonbgirl
Ooooh but I thought Hollander was soft??????
Shane Hollander’s left tit @lilylaughsart
Was Shane a control freak or was he the one holding that shit together? 🤨
Shilya’s Bush @lolaboutjaney
If you’re in the queue for a Shane Hollander vindication arc—STAY IN LINE!!!
↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
HollaNation Stocks back up after the #tripgate crash 🙂↕️
↳↳Shelly 🏒 @gearheadgirl
I knew my boy wouldn’t let me down
Ra Ra Rozanov🐻@mrsraiders81
I know Rozy opened twitter this morning and laughed
↳Its Hole-ander actually @hollalujah
Straight giggling and kicking his feet
↳↳hollanov on top @itsashutout46
“Babe, come look at this!” 😹
↳↳↳Cents Stan @centsoncentsoncents
@realIlyaRozanov and @YunaHollander24 clinking mimosa glasses together rn
caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
Metros out of the playoffs guys guys my sewer slide is postponed
↳caecilia 🙂@caellysworld
✨life is worth living✨
Metro Man 🔴🔵 @neutralzonenick
Yeah haha let’s all laugh at the people who love and support their team
↳Cents and Centsability @goodgollymissmolly
Yes, let’s 🫵😆
Metro’s Babe ❤️💙 @bleedredandblue
Cens fans laughing like their team didn’t just get good 🙄
↳let my cens fight @censgoaliestan
And we smokin’ on that Metros pack tonight!!!
Ex Montreal Stan @imonlyhereforhollander
‘Til next time boys *wipes hands*
Image Insert 1:
[A photo of an altar adorned with candles, herbs, dried flowers, and several spell jars containing broken glass, hot sauce, and visibly damaged photos of Metros’ players and staff.]
↳No It IS That Serious 🏒 @hockeyismylife46
And if I said it actually is that serious????
↳↳Shilya’s Bush @lolaboutjaney
We have a picture of Shane Hollander on our family altar I get it
↳↳↳Dream Girl 🌈@dreamgurlevul
My tia lights a candle for him every game day no bs
↳NYC Queen 🗽 @itsjustjess35
Wait girl you take requests????? Let me dm
Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
Dubois gotta put Hollander on his back and carry him up that mountain to break the curse atp
Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaurs
It’s official! Playoffs here we come!
Image Insert 1:
[A stylized locker room celebration photo overlaid with the text “CLINCHED.”]
↳⚜️ Fly Lis Fly ⚜️ @mightymetrosgo
Someone gotta homewreck that marriage i swear
↳Boston Strong💪 @charlieguy1776
So the metros fumble and now we all gotta suffer??? How's that fair???
↳Metros Babe ❤️💙 @bleedredandblue
Idc if they’re homophobic somebody gotta take one for the team
↳↳Boiziau’s Baby Mama @JJBrescueme
Shane Hollander's hot as fuck i refuse believe that not one of the Metros has at least THOUGHT about it
↳↳↳It’s Metros or Bust @origsixmets
Don't shoot but this is the play the metros should be working on. Hire a buff hot blonde and aim him at Hollander.
↳↳↳↳Metro’s Bby Gifl @callmeshayla0
Lord knows they don't have anything else going for them @henritheriault
Its Metros 4 Lyfe @montrealmetrosfan1996
@Real_ShaneHollander what do you want bruh? A raise? Some hoes? A mansion?
↳Metro’s Bby Girl @callmeshayla
Like, dada come home I’ll suck it myself
↳↳missing the Holz @metros4hollanov
AYO???
↳↳Anya’s secret sister @allaboutthepuck
Pause
↳↳Suffering Montreal Fan @gometrosgoiguess
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
Boston FTW @raidersforthwin
Cliff Marleau 🫱🏼🫲🏻 Hayden Pike Fumbling the franchise when it counted most
