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"She should not be taking this long."
Trinity hurries down the stairs, mostly mumbling to herself as one hand skims the wall for balance. "She should not be taking this long."
She grabs the corner of the railing and flings herself around the hallway, nearly missing the turn before stumbling into the living room.
Her mother would yell at her for moving through the house like this, but Trinity has her own house now, her own rules.
(Fuck her.)
"Did Ivas Mom call you?"
Trinity comes to a halt only a few feet from the couch, her lungs working too hard for the amount of running she has actually done, and Yolanda immediately looks up with worried eyes.
"No?" She puts the journal aside and reaches for her phone, already frowning at the screen.
Trinity's stomach drops.
Yolanda's thumb moves across the screen before she freezes, looking at the time. "I'll call her."
Trinity swallows and nods, forcing herself to remain still while Yolanda brings the phone to her ear.
Thankfully, Maxine is already asleep upstairs, which means Trinity doesn't have to make any effort to hide the way her nerves are beginning to unravel.
Her little one is painfully attuned to changes in the people around her, always noticing when Mom's voice gets too quiet or Mama starts moving too quickly.
Her big one, on the other hand, is almost in second grade now and has grown into a child so carefree and joyful that sometimes Trinity still struggles to understand how, especially with herself as one of the people raising her.
"Oh..."
Yolanda's voice catches her attention, and Trinity turns abruptly enough that her neck hurts.
Yolanda has one hand wrapped around her phone while the other reaches instinctively for Trinity's arm.
"Twenty minutes ago?"
The words are quiet, but the look in her eyes makes Trinity's heart stumble. They stare at each other.
The Hobbs family lives at the other end of the street, close enough that Trinity can see their front porch from her upstairs window, which is why they had finally allowed Lily to walk home alone after her playdate.
It was supposed to be one of those small steps toward independence, something that would let Lily feel capable without making her feel afraid.
Now Trinity is the one whos scared.
Yolanda is still speaking to Iva's mother, asking questions in the clipped, controlled voice she uses when she is trying not to let emotion interfere with her thinking, while Trinity is already moving.
She races into the hallway, grabs her keys from the little bowl beside the door, and jams her feet into her sneakers without properly tying them.
"I'm going."
"I know." Yolanda's voice follows her, still controlled but beginning to strain.
Trinity pulls open the front door.
The outside air is comfortably warm, with the lingering heat of the day still trapped in the asphalt beneath her feet, and normally the suburban street would have looked almost painfully peaceful at this hour. The porch lights are beginning to come on, and two houses down colorful streamers still declare "Happy 30th Birthday!" to one of their neighbours.
The party had been days ago, backyard barbeque and beer. Now, even the happy decor seems wrong.
Every shadow looks too deep.
Every parked car makes her heart jump.
She walks quickly up the street, scanning lawns and driveways, gaps between hedges and houses, searching behind bushes and around fire hydrants.
They have played plenty of hide-and-seek here. But Trinity has always been better at hiding.
"Lily?"
Her voice comes out softer than she intends, and she clears her throat before trying again.
"Lily, love?" No answer comes from the houses around her.
She keeps walking, passing the last few driveways until the Hobbs' house finally comes into view.
"Lily?"
Trinity's heart is pounding so hard that she can feel it in her fingertips. She forces herself toward the next house.
"Lily, love, it's dinner time."
The words sound absurdly ordinary as soon as they leave her mouth.
Such a trivial thing to say when the possibility that her child might have been taken sits inside her chest, eating her alive.
A voice cuts through the quiet before Trinity can take another step.
"Dr. Santos, over here."
The calmness in the older woman's voice is so completely at odds with the panic racing through Trinity that she almost doesn't understand the words at first.
She turns quickly, searching the line of houses until she spots Mrs. Stephens standing beside her garden gate, one hand raised in a casual wave.
"Over here," the woman repeats, smiling like she has just spotted Trinity on an ordinary evening.
Trinity's heart stutters. "What?"
Mrs. Stephens points toward the side of her house, where an older section of fencing disappears behind a thick cluster of shrubs.
"She's over there,in the corner."
For a second Trinity simply stares at her. Then she sees the small shape sitting in the shadows.
"Lily." The name leaves her on a breath that feels halfway between a prayer and a sob.
She moves toward her daughter quickly, but makes herself slow down as she gets closer, unwilling to frighten her or turn the moment into something more dramatic than it needs to be.
Lily is sitting in the little crook where the fence meets the hedge, mostly hidden beneath the leaves, and there is something small and dark curled in her lap.
Trinity's first thought is that it is a stuffed animal, Ellie maybe, or Gigi.
Then the shape moves.
Trintiy's eyes go wide in surprise.
It is a cat. A small, very scruffy-looking cat, its front paws tucked against Lily's stomach while Lily carefully strokes one finger down the top of its head.
Trinity closes her eyes for half a second, swallowing the intense wave of relief.
"Oh, baby." She crouches down in front of Lily, reaching for her with both arms.
"Hi, Mom," Lily says quietly.
Trinity gathers her up before she can say anything else, pulling her into a hug so tight that Lily makes a tiny surprised noise against her shoulder. She doesn't let go.
For a few long seconds she simply holds her daughter, feeling the solid little body beneath her hands and letting the awful minutes of imagined possibilities slowly drain out of her.
Behind them, Mrs. Stephens approaches with an amused smile.
"Don't worry," she says warmly. "I've been keeping an eye on the two of them."
Trinity looks down. The cat has decided that the interruption is of no interest whatsoever and is now half asleep against Lily's chest.
"Of course," Trinity murmurs, while Lily shifts against her, then tilts her face up.
"Why are you stressed?"
Trinity almost laughs at the question, although her throat is still painfully tight. "Because I thought you were missing."
Lily's expression changes immediately. "Oh."
"You were supposed to come straight home from the Hobbs' house, sweetheart. We didn't know where you were, and I got scared."
Lily looks down at the cat, her small fingers continuing to stroke its fur. "I'm really sorry."
The apology is so small sincere that Trinity's chest aches all over again. "I know you didn't mean to scare me."
"I see the cat sometimes," Lily explains, looking down toward the cat. "It comes around here a lot, and usually she runs away when I get close, but today it looked really sad and small, so I had to cuddle."
Trinity closes her eyes briefly. Of course she did.
Mrs. Stephens gives the cat a fond look. "He's been roaming around for a while now. Nobody has claimed him, and I've checked the usual places for missing notices, but there hasn't been anything."
Trinity feels the next sentence approaching before anyone says it. She knows that look on her daughter's face.
"Mom, can we take him home?" Trinity exhales slowly through her nose.
Mrs. Stephens smiles, raising both hands as though surrendering before Trinity has even had the chance to answer. "I'm way too old, Dr. Santos."
Trinity gives her a look that makes the older woman laugh. "That is not how this works."
"Of course not," the older woman says, still smiling.
Trinity turns back toward Lily, who is already watching her with enormous hopeful eyes.
"Well," Trinity says carefully, "we'll have to ask Mama and Max."
Lily nods against her shoulder, apparently entirely unconcerned by the complication. "I asked Max a while ago if we could keep the cat if it wants to, and she said yes."
Trinity stares at her. Then she sighs, and carries her daughter, who carries the cat, back to the house.
Two weeks later, when Yolanda gets home from a shift that never seemed to end, she is so tired that her shoulders hurt with the dull exhaustion. Every step feels heavy, and there is a migraine forming somewhere underneath the persistent neck pain.
It happens more often these days, her body not being able to handle extra hard shifts well. Yolanda tries not to think about it too much.
She slips her shoes off near the door and stands there for a moment, letting the quiet of the house reach her before she moves farther inside. There are toys everywhere, as usual, although at least none of them appear to be in the way of her and a long shower.
Yolanda exhales through her nose and starts toward the bed room, already thinking about dinner and the possibility of lying completely still for the next few hours.
Then she passes Lily's bedroom. The door is open just enough for voices to drift into the hallway.
"Careful, Maxi," Lily expalins with seriousness. "You have to use gentle hands because Freckles is not a toy."
Yolanda stops. She leans against the doorframe and looks inside.
Lily is sitting cross-legged on the floor in the middle of what appears to be a game involving stuffed animals, a plastic doctor's kit and blankets. And then there is Freckles, sitting between her knees with a resigned expression, accepting that this is his live now.
Maxine is beside her, still at the age where most activities involve grabbing something first and asking questions later. Her small hand is hovering above Freckles' back.
"Like this," Lily explains, reaching over and demonstrating with slow, careful strokes. "You don't push him down, because he doesn't like that. You just put your hand here and move it softly."
Maxine watches closely, then she copies her. Freckles carefully remains still.
"Good," Lily says, sounding genuinely pleased. "See? He knows you're being nice."
Maxine smiles. "Kitty."
"That's right. He's a kitty, and he's our Freckles."
Yolanda feels some of the tension in her shoulders ease without her permission. She should probably announce herself, but instead, she stays where she is.
Freckles suddenly lifts his head, his ears angling toward a noise somewhere on the street outside. His body stiffens beneath Lily's hand, and Maxine immediately reaches toward him again.
"No, Maxi," Lily says gently, catching her sister's wrist before she can grab his fur. "He's a little scared right now."
Freckles shifts backward, but Lily doesnt chase him. She simply lowers her voice.
"It's okay, Freckles. You can stay here, or you can go under the chair if you want. Nobody is going to pick you up."
The cat watches her.
"You don't have to be brave," Lily continues, calm and certain. "You can just take a breath and wait until you feel better."
Warmth spreads in Yolanda's chest.
Lily waits. She lets him decide what happens next, while Maxine sits beside her and watches with wide eyes. After a few seconds, Freckles' posture calms again and he takes one cautious step forward.
"See?" Lily whispers. "You're okay."
The cat settles against her leg and Yolanda looks at her daughter for a long moment.
There are things Lily has learned without Yolanda noticing the exact moment they clicked, little pieces of language and patience that have gradually become part of the way she moves through the world.
She is still seven, prone to dramatic declarations and sudden tears.
She also can become furious becaus she got the blue cup when she wanted the green one, but moments like this remind Yolanda that she is learning how to make room for feelings without letting them control everything around her.
And apparently, she is teaching her sister the same thing.
"Is Mama spying?" Trinity's voice comes from behind her. Yolanda turns. Her wife is standing in the hallway, barefoot and wearing one of Yolanda's old shirts and sweatpants, her hair pulled loosely away from her face.
The softness in her face makes Yolanda smile in turn. "I was observing."
Trinity walks up to her, still grinning and leans in for a kiss. "Spying."
Yolanda breathes her in for a moment before pressing their lips together. "Observing," she states when they disconnect.
"Sure." Trinity smiles and steps around her to open the door fully. She walks into the room and lowers herself carefully onto the floor.
Lily immediately looks up. "Mommy!"
"Hey, little flower." Trinity holds out her arms, and Maxine abandons Freckles with impressive speed to crawl toward her.
"Well, hello," Trinity says, scooping her up. "Were you being gentle with your sister's new best friend?"
"Freckles is everybody's best friend," Lily corrects.
"Obviously."
Yolanda watches Trinity settle beside them, one knee tucked underneath herself while Maxine climbs into her lap, and realizes that she is smiling. She finally pushes away from the doorframe and walks into the room. Her feet protest and her knees hurt when she moves again.
Lily looks up immediately. "Mama!"
Yolanda barely gets her arms open before Maxine is reaching for her too. "Come here, troublemaker."
Maxine squeals when Yolanda lifts her, and Trinity laughs softly. "You look tired."
"I am tired." Yolanda replies, carefully sitting down beside her girls.
Lily studies her face. "Then you need a massage."
Yolanda raises an eyebrow. "I do?"
"Yes, because you're old."
Trinity makes a noise that is suspiciously close to a laugh. Yolanda looks at her. "Your daughter has been spending too much time with you."
"She gets it from both of us." Trinity shrugs.
Lily is already setting up, preparing the treatment. "You have to lie down, since youre standing all day."
There is no way to argue with that logic, particularly when Lily is already dragging one of the blankets into the middle of the floor.
Yolanda sighs dramatically, hands Max back off to her wife and lowers herself onto her stomach. "Fine."
"Arms here." Lily pats the floor beside her. Yolanda places her arms where instructed.
"Close your eyes."
Yolanda sighs. "Do I get to know what you're doing?"
"No, because then it isn't relaxing."
Trinity settles beside her, laughing quietly. "She's very professional."
"Thank you, Mom," Lily says.
Freckles circles Yolanda once before laying down near her shoulder. Maxine crawls onto her back and Yolanda opens one eye. "Is this part of the massage?"
"Yes," Lily says immediately. "Maxi is helping."
Maxine pats Yolanda's shoulder. "Massage."
"Very helpful."
Lily begins with her hands on Yolanda's shoulders, pressing with all the strength her small fingers can manage.
Yolanda closes her eyes again. "That is actually pretty good."
"I know." The small, serious voice above her replies.
Trinity reaches over and starts rubbing the other shoulder, and Yolanda lets out a quiet breath as some of the day's tension finally begins to leave her.
"Freckles, you can help too," Lily tells the cat. "But you have to be gentle."
Freckles blinks at her.
"He doesn't understand human." Trinity explains gently.
"He understands everything." Lily protests in turn, motioning something at the cat.
"Hm, if you say so."
Yolanda feels a small paw land experimentally against her arm and smiles into the blanket. "Apparently he does."
For the next ten minutes, the room settles into the rhythm of hands, Freckles' occasional purr, and Maxine's attempts to pat Yolanda's hair into submission.
Yolanda's eyes grow heavier. She can feel Trinity's hand moving slowly over her shoulder, Lily carefully pressing her thumbs into the muscles near her neck, and the small warm weight of Maxine leaning against her back.
The day feels very far away now. The echos of the ER and busy hallways fade with each minute, each touch.
"Pain improving a little?" Trinity asks quietly after another while.
Yolanda doesnt open her eyes. "Much."
Lily leans closer, whispering. "See, Mama? We made it all better."
Yolanda smiles. "Yeah, little flower. You did."