Adult Content Warning
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Summary
“I appreciate your offer, Arthur,” Merlin says sincerely, his gaze fixed upon the swiftly westering sun. The figure beside him turns halfway, and he feels the piercing stare of those blue eyes as keenly as ever — yet he cannot force himself to meet it. “It matters to me, only not now,” his long fingers clench nervously against the cold cobblestone, “I cannot.”
“What?” had Merlin known him less, he might have thought Arthur sounded almost frightened. It would be easy to account for that: the king surely had not looked for a refusal, now that he knew of the prophecy, of the magic that could shield his realm. “Why?”
This was the hardest part. However much Merlin had turned this dialogue over in his mind, he had never been able to shape the reason with any precision.
I am weary, and I am a coward, and I cannot go on with these endless battles any longer, I cannot bear the sight of this place, I cannot bear the sight of you, and my head is forever ringing—
“I wish to leave.”
Or: Merlin's solitary journey in quest of himself — and of dragons.