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Operation: Definitely Not Following Our Son

Summary:

Christopher ask Buck and Eddie not to drive him to his first day of high school because they're "too embarrassing."

They respect his wishes.

They just also happen to borrow a neighbor's Buick, wear horrible Hawaiian shirts and fake mustaches, and secretly follow the school bus across Los Angeles.

They're subtle... probably.

Chapter 1: The Plan

Chapter Text

Christopher Diaz was fourteen years old. Which, according to Christopher Diaz, was practically an adult.

Which, according to Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz, was complete and utter nonsense.

“You are,” Buck said very seriously over breakfast, “at most… eleven.”

Christopher looked up from his cereal, “I’m literally starting high school.”

“Exactly,” Buck nodded. “Child.”

“Yes, a child,” Eddie agreed, sipping his coffee.

Christopher sighed the sigh of every teenager burdened by the existence of loving parents, “Dad.”

“Hm?”

“I’m taking the bus.”

The kitchen went silent. Buck slowly lowered his mug.

Eddie blinked, “The what?”

“The school bus.” Chris deadpanned.

Buck looked at Eddie.

Eddie looked at Buck.

Buck looked back at Christopher, “The yellow one?” Buck clarified.

“Yes.”

“The one with… other teenagers?” Buck asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Yes.”

Eddie looked at Chris in concern, “The one where you won’t be supervised by us?”

“That’s generally how buses work.” Chris rolled his eyes.

Absolutely not.

“No.” Eddie said.

“Dad—”

“No.” Eddie cut him off again.

“But—”

“No.”

Buck nodded enthusiastically, “What he said.”

Christopher pinched the bridge of his nose, “I am fourteen.”

“You are barely fourteen.” Eddie said.

Buck gasped dramatically, “Eddie’s right.”

Christopher ignored him, “I’ve been taking the city bus with you guys for years.”

“Different.” Buck shrugged.

Chris sighed, “How?”

“We’re there.” Eddie said.

“You won’t always be there.” The words landed a little heavier than Christopher intended. The kitchen got quiet.

Eddie looked down at his coffee.

Buck stared very intently at a blueberry muffin.

“No, wait. I’m sorry,” Christopher immediately softened, “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know,” Eddie said gently.

Buck smiled, “We know, buddy.”

Christopher took a breath, “I just, I want to try it. You told me to let you know when I want independence.” Chris looked at both of them, “This is me letting you know.”

Eddie leaned back in his chair, eyes softening, “The bus has accommodations?”

“Wider aisle.” Chris smiled, knowing they were getting on board.

“Ramp?” Buck asked.

Christopher nodded, “And Mr. Gonzalez already emailed transportation.”

Buck blinked, “You coordinated with administration?”

“…Maybe.”

“You planned this.” Eddie said.

“…Maybe.”

Buck beamed, “You little mastermind.”

Christopher smiled sheepishly, “I just… everyone takes the bus.”

Buck immediately frowned, “You don’t have to do something because everyone else does.”

“I know.” Christopher looked between them, “I want to.”

Silence.

Then—

“If you hate it,” Eddie said.

“You tell us,” Buck added immediately, “And we’ll drive you.”

“No questions. No ‘I told you so.’ No teasing.” Eddie listed.

Christopher grinned, “Seriously?”

Buck and Eddie exchanged a look. It was the look that had become second nature over the years. The silent conversation.

He’s growing up.

I know.

I hate it.

Me too.

Eddie sighed, “…One day.”

Christopher lit up, “Really?”

“You try one day.” Buck added, “If you don’t like it—”

“I know.”

“We will drive you forever.” Eddie said, completely serious.

“Dad.”

“I’m serious.”

Christopher laughed, “I know.”

Buck pointed dramatically, “And no pretending you liked it just because you don’t want to disappoint us.”

“I won’t.”

“And if literally anything happens—” Buck started.

“I’ll text.”

“If someone breathes weirdly near you—” Buck added.

“Buck.”

“If a squirrel even looks suspicious—”

“Buck.” Christopher was laughing now, “I get it.”

Buck still looked unconvinced, “I don’t think you do.”

*** xxx ***

That night, Eddie helped Christopher adjust the cuff on his crutch, “Alarm set?”

“Mhm.”

“Backpack packed?”

“Mhm.”

“Phone charged?”

“Yup.”

“Lunch?”

Chris looked at his dad, “You know Buck packed me three lunches worth.”

“You remembered your medication?”

“Dad.”

“Right.” Eddie cleared his throat.

Christopher smiled, “I’ll be okay.”

Eddie’s expression softened, “I know.” He kissed Christopher’s forehead like he’d done since Christopher was little, “Love you.”

“Love you too.” Christopher grabbed his controller, “I’m gonna play one game.”

“You said that yesterday.” Eddie warned.

“This one’s different. I gotta wake up early.”

Eddie chuckled as he shut the bedroom door behind him.

*** xxx ***

Buck was already waiting in the living room. Pouting.

Actually pouting.

His lower lip was sticking out so far Eddie was surprised gravity hadn’t claimed it, “He’s getting so big. He doesn’t even want us to drop him off.”

“I know.” Eddie flopped backward onto the couch with Buck, “I remember when he thought school was just finger painting.”

Buck laughed, “I remember when he thought nap time was oppression.”

“I remember when he needed help tying his shoes.” Eddie sniffled.

Buck frowned, “I remember when he wouldn’t sleep without us reading him a bedtime story.”

Eddie’s eyes started watering, “…I remember when he’d fall asleep on my chest.”

Buck looked over, “Oh no. You’re crying.”

“You’re crying.” Eddie accused.

Buck’s own eyes filled, “My face is just… hydrating.”

Neither of them spoke for a minute. Just sat there. Thinking about the tiny little boy who had somehow become a teenager almost overnight.

Buck finally whispered, “Do you think he’ll be okay?”

Eddie answered immediately, “Yes.” Then quieter, “…I’m still worried.”

Buck nodded rapidly, “What if he falls? What if someone bumps him? What if the driver forgets the ramp? What if his crutch slips?”

Eddie grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly, “He’ll be okay, Buck.”

Buck leaned closer, “What if he trips and the window is open and a hawk flies into the bus…”

Eddie already knew where this was going, “…Buck.”

“…and the hawk thinks Christopher is food and it eats him.” Buck continued.

Silence.

Eddie stared.

Buck stared back with complete sincerity, “It’s not impossible.”

“It’s incredibly impossible.” Eddie tried to not to smile at Buck’s spiral.

“Hawks are opportunists!” Buck defended.

“They are not hunting fourteen-year-old boys.” Eddie finally let out a laugh.

“They don’t check IDs, Eddie!”

Eddie burst into laughter. Actual, wheezing laughter.

Buck looked offended, “I’m trying to protect our son.”

“Our son?”

Buck froze, the words had slipped out without thinking.

Neither of them corrected it.

Instead Eddie smiled, “Yeah, our son.”

Buck smiled back. Warm. Easy. True.

Then Buck snapped his fingers, “I have an idea.”

Eddie immediately looked suspicious, “I know that face…”

“We escort him.”

“No.”

“He’ll never know. We’ll be discreet.” Buck promised.

“You once followed me to Home Depot wearing a Hawaiian shirt with flamingos.” Eddie glared.

“I was camouflaged.” Buck argued.

“You were fluorescent.”

“We’ll wear disguises.” Buck was already standing, “I have a set of fake mustaches.”

“Why do you own multiple fake mustaches?” Eddie asked.

“That’s not the point.”

“It is absolutely the point.”

Buck grinned, “We just make sure Chris gets to school safe.”

“You mean…”

“We secretly follow the bus.”

Eddie considered it. For exactly three seconds, “…The hawk is a valid concern.”

Buck beamed, “I KNEW YOU’D SEE REASON!”

They high five. Buck grabbing the legal pad on the coffee table and they whispered over their plan for tomorrow.

“We need a title.” Eddie declared.

Buck smiled at Eddie’s goofiness, “You’re a genius.” As he beamed proudly, titling the page: Operation: Definitely Not Following Our Son.