Chapter Text
“tar tar sauce” has come online
tartar sauce: GUYS
YOU WONT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW
5 users have come online
a-got it: ???
hot cocoa: hi tartah!!!
what's up?
tartar sauce: REMEMBER HOW YOU GUYS TOLD ME UNCLE OLLY WAS GOING TO “make some money”
I SAW HIM OUTSIDE OF CAMPUS WITH A SIGN THAT SAID “help, i have 4 kids” AND A TIP JAR
richeh: what
tetris: oh my gosh (-_^)
tartar sauce: BUT
BUT
GAHAJDJAKKAKAKDKKSKW
custard: OFFICER EASTHIES JUST DROPPED A CONDOM INTO THE JAR
a-got it: He what.
tetris: OH MY GOSH???
richeh: wow that just made my whole month
but really
A.C.A.B
hot cocoa: huh?
tetris: huh? x2
a-got it: It’s an acronym for “All Cops Are Bastards”.
taught you that, Richeh?
richeh: myself
hot cocoa: oh and i wanna ask
what's a condom?
tetris: oh coco you poor sweet summer child
custard: HELP TARTAH IS WHEEZING SO MUCH HES TURNING BLUE
hot cocoa: no but seriously, what’s a condom???
hello
can someone answer (^_-)
a-got it: I’m still hung up on WHY Officer Easthies had one on him.
tetris: sighhhh grown ups
richeh: ew grown ups
has mr qifrey heard yet?
custard: TARTAHS NOT BREATHING
tetris: oh!
good question ♪(´ε｀ )
cocooooo
custard: GUYS
replying to: tetris: cocooooo
hot cocoa: hello :D
yeah?
tetris: can u go ask mr qifrey if heard about the incident
plz
pretty plz
hot cocoa: eh? ಠ_ಠ
why me??
richeh: bc ur the favorite
hot cocoa: but i thought mr qifrey said he didn’t have favorites…
richeh: ya but we all know thats not true
tetris: he likes u a teeensy bit more than everyone else
a-got it: Wait a minute.
Why are we telling Mr. Qifrey?
tetris: itll be funny to see his reaction!!
a-got it: ???
I believe I do not comprehend.
I vote that this event stays in the group chat and this group chat only.
custard: i think tartahs dead
hot cocoa: WHAT?!??
tetris: HUHHH?!?!!
richeh: L in chat
tetris: CUSTAS.
WHY DIDNT U TELL US EARLIER
custard: I DID
BUT YOU WERENT LISTENING
tetris: NO YOU DIDN’T????
custard: boi YES I DID
CHECK THE CHAT HISTORY YOURSELF
richeh: guys i think he did tell us earlier
hot cocoa: IS TARTAH OKAY??
Σ（ﾟдﾟlll）
a-got it: Check his pulse.
If necessary, CPR or mouth-to-mouth might help.
tartar sauce: im alive
i think
hot cocoa: YAYYYY!!
tetris: YAYAYAYAYYA!!!
WE DON’T HAVE TO REPORT YOUR BODY TO THE POLICE!!
richeh: ew police
a-got it: I do believe that going up to Officer Easthies and his crew presenting a dead body right after we were talking “smack” about him might not be the best choice.
hot cocoa: i dont know how to file a police report :(
tetris: its okay coco!!!
u will learn one day :3
custard: no
i dont think were in the right mindset here
tartar sauce: nah
a-got it: Now that we’ve gotten everything sorted out, and on the topic of Mr. Qifrey, has everybody here completed Mr. Qifrey’s art assignment?
tartar sauce: there was a what.
custard: sorry did i missunderstand
a-got it: Well, you two boys are helpless.
What about the others?
tetia: haha!
this is a joke
right??
richeh: richeh does not like to follow adult’s instructions
hot cocoa: OMG OHNO OH NO OH NO
I WAS GOING TO DO IT YESTERDAY BUT FELL ASLEEP AFTER OUR BAND PRACTICE
IM SO SORRYY AGOTTTTT
a-got it: …
Why are you apologizing to me??
At least you remembered it existed, unlike the others.
custard: maybe mr qifrey shouldve told us??
a-got it: He did.
Several times a period.
Just so slacking students like you would not forget, but it does seem that Mr. Qifrey’s attempts were made to no avail.
replying to: a-got it: Why are you apolo…
hot cocoa: I WANTED TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE
BECAUSE YOURE ALWAYS SO PERFECT I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO BE LIKE YOU
tetris: awee cocoo
ure already awesome!!!
(agott do smt)
a-got it: …
richeh: yes
what tetia said
a-got it: It’s alright, Coco.
…
After all, you are trying your best.
You shouldn’t strive to be like me, but yourself instead. Embrace what you want and what you need to improve, and you will find your way.
I’m sorry, consoling others is not in my field of expertise.
richeh: okay
wow. that is so poetic
omg
tetris: I JUST FEEL LIKE AFTER READING THIS IM GONNA CRYYY
hot cocoa: omg thank you agott!!!
you dont understand how much that means to me!
a-got it: Yeah… No problem.
custard: omg girl drama sybau
tartar sauce: maybe
thats not uh
the best wording
custard: ??
wdym
tetris: You say what you just said again and I will make sure that speaking tongue won't have the ability to help you speak anymore. You will feel the uncomfortable feeling of an empty mouth, and a stubby end that can’t reach anything. After brutally cutting it off, no medication will be served, leaving the exposed flesh to sting all day all night long.
richeh: i hope both sides of ur pillow are warm
a-got it: Morals, morals, people.
hot cocoa: DID SOMEONE MENTION THE COPS OF MORALIS???
HELP
HIDE ME
tetris: nonononono coco ure ok (^ ^;)
sorry guys shes still ptsd
a-got it: You would use “traumatized” in that sentence, not PTSD, Tetia.
tetris: tomayto tomahto
custard: why are they called cops of moralis??
richeh: i was about to ask that too honestly
as if adults couldnt get more pathetic
sighs
tartar sauce: what kinda name is that????
corny, honestly
a-got it: It’s a reference, since their station is called “Moralis Police Station”. They are the police force, or in this case, “cops”, making them the Cops of Moralis.
I thought that was obvious, no?
custard: ok ms know it all
richeh: ok stupids
anyways can i add some1
too bad im not asking for your permission
hot cocoa: ooh is it euini?
i havent seen him in a while ^^
“richeh” has added “euini” to “da hood!!”
custard: hey
how come he doesnt have a nickname??
im stuck being custard
tar tar sauce: oh cmon
im a literal sauce
what even is tar tar sauce???
tetris: i rlly like mine!!!
anyways HI EUINIIII!!!
euini: oh
hi, tetia :)
custard: dayumn he aint surviving da hood
richeh: crusty shut up before i make you
euini: huh??
it’s okay, richeh..
no need (- -;)
replying to: richeh: crusty shut up be…
custard: excuse me???
CRUSTY???
okay ribbon girl
youre like one of those sailor moon girls yada yada but TEMU VERSION
“custard” has changed “richeh” to “temu ribbon girl”
temu ribbon girl: you DARE insult SAILOR MOON
crusty custard this is why NO ONE LIKES YOU
U SIT AT LUNCH UNDER THAT ONE TREE WITH NOBODY UNLESS TAR TAR SAUCE HERE ACTUALLY COMES AND ASKS
custard: RICHEH I WILL LEAK YOUR COORDINATES ON THE DARK WEB
temu ribbon girl: L amateur move
i already HAVE
a-got it: That’s concerning.
temu ribbon girl: AND WITH YOUR NEGATIVE FANBASE, EVEN IF YOU LEAKED MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, MY ZIP CODE, MY ADDRESS, NO ONE WOULD FIND IT CUZ UR SO LONELY
NO FRIENDS NANANA BOOBOOO
custard: WDYM NO FRIENDS???
AREN’T COCO AND TARTAH RIGHT HERE?
PLUS THE OTHERS TOO
temu ribbon girl: WTV BRO
after all didnt you have that rlly nasty fight last year
cough
friends yeah
custard: SCRATCH THAT ILL JUST STRANGLE YOU WITH ONE OF YOUR PRETTY LITTLE SPARKLY RIBBONS INSTEAD
temu ribbon girl: ILL TAKE YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF PROSTHETICS THEN
TO MAKE IT FAIR
euini: richeh calm down plzz
temu ribbon girl: …
fine
tetris: aww she folded
thats so cute
custard: FOLDED UNDER ZERO PRESSURE
YOU SOFTIE
temu ribbon girl: brooo as if u dont do the same w tartah
plus hes my bsf 4ever
bbg
im the alpha
tar tar sauce: im the leader
tetris: im the one to trust
hot cocoa: together we do whatever it takes
custard: were in this pack for life
euini: awooooo
temu ribbon girl: we’re wolves
we own the night
a-got it: Am I the only one who doesn’t understand??
This seems awfully a lot like a cult to me.
hot cocoa: dont think too much abt it :)
its just a silly meme i saw on youtube ^^
a-got it: sure…
tetris: wait since richeh added euini i wna add somebody too!!
“tetris” has added “eoleo” to “da hood!!”
custard: eoleo?
as in that primpy rich kid who goes to that one private school
AND his dad’s the mayor
temu ribbon girl: heh one sec
“temu ribbon girl” has changed “eoleo” to “twink”
temu ribbon girl: i was gonna do eolittle but that was weird so nvm
twink: Hello?
What is this?
Hi, Tetia!
a-got it: Finally, another person who uses correct grammar.
custard: GOD i can hear that british accent from the message alone
tetris: everyone say hi!!
i dont think hes met any of u so
hot cocoa: WAIT b4 we do introductions
“hot cocoa” has added “jujy” to “da hood!!”
”jujy” has changed their name to “julibee”
”custard” has added “ininia” to “da hood!!”
julibee: hi guyss
wsp
new group chat?
niceee
ininia: hello
hi custas
hello tartah
hello green haired girl
also if any one of you attempts to change my name i will obliterate you and your entire bloodline.
be warned.
temu ribbon girl: lol i like her
tar tar sauce: i forgot she was like this
custas i suddenly like you so much more
julibee: wow there are a lot of people here
who’s twink?
i think ive met ininia once before
twink: My name is Eoleo, actually.
One of the members here changed my name.
tetris: COUGH
temu ribbon girl: sneeze
julibee: WAIT.
As in THE Eoleo??
Eoleo Ezrest??
Mayor Deanreldy’s son???
hot cocoa: ohh yeah!
Tetia mention you before
she didnt mention that your dad was the mayor tho lol
nice to meet you!
twink: Nice to meet you too!
..hot cocoa..?
hot cocoa: OH RIGHT
i forgot we had nicknames
a-got it: I’ll give everybody an updated list of members, then.
hot cocoa- coco
tetris- tetia
temu ribbon girl- richeh
custard- custas
tar tar sauce- tartah
a-got it- agott
euini- euini
julibee- jujy
twink- eoleo
ininia- ininia
tetris: awee agott youre a lifesaver!!
hot cocoa: thanks a lot :)
twink: This was very helpful, indeed.
Thank you, Agott!
Can I also ask what school you guys go to?
I don’t think we attend the same school
custard: yuh me n tartah go to atelier municipal junior high
all these other bozos too
temu ribbon girl: WHO are you calling a bozo
BOZO
tetris: HOW MANY TIMES ARE YOU TWO GNA FIGHT OMGG
replying to: custard: yuh me n tartah go to atelier…
julibee: same!!
I hang out with coco sometimes, but I wanna hang out more with the rest of you guys!
twink: I go to Bellflower Private Academy!
Too bad we’re not in the same school :(
temu ribbon girl: oh
wait my bro goes there
kno a guy called riliphin?
eoleo: Actually, yeah!
He’s also Professor Beladruit’s student assistant!
A really nice guy :)
a-got it: What about you, Ininia?
What school do you attend?
ininia: brimstone academy
custas used to go to school there with me before he moved
custas: dude that place was WEIRD.
istg principal iguin wanted smt with me
AND professor restys was sooo harsh OMFGG
ininia: professor restys is amazing you shut up
tetris: heyy euini
wbu?
euini: me?
a-got it: Is there anyone else here named Euini?
euini: im also a bellflower private academy student
ms alaira signed me up, since she’s also a teacher there :)
temu ribbon girl: tbh you should come to my school instead
custas: OKAY WE GET IT RICHEH
PINING MORE THAN A PINE TREE
hot cocoa: hey guys!!
since the next silver eve is coming up soon, we should all meet up!
this way the newer members can meet the others, and we all get new friends ^^
tetris: OH EM GEEEE COCO YOURE A GENIUSS
julibee: that sounds rlly fun!!
I’ll go ask Mr. Hiheart if i can go
temu ribbon girl: euini we can meet up
if you dont like these loud weezers we can go 2gether
euini: thats really sweet of you, richeh!
i’ll go with you guys, though :)
ininia: yeah i dont wanna be a loner
plus i can steal fancy boys money and get me some stuff
im in
twink: If Father says yes, I’ll gladly accompany you guys!
custard: “Father” bro js say “dad” omg
fancy fancy yip yip
temu ribbon girl: yk how every silver eve they have the spell contest?
i very much want to compete
hot cocoa: that sounds so fun!!
agott, we should do it together :)
you too, tetia ^^
actually, everyone should attend!
its so fun being creative :)
tar tar sauce: this is so sunny optimistic im getting blinded by it
oh wait im already going blind
a-got it: Of course, I’ve been attending the competition for quite a while, now.
tetris: great!!
we can make further plans someday :))
twink: yeah!
I do propose that we go to sleep now, though.
The time’s already 11 PM, way past my bedtime
hot cocoa: yeah, im getting sleepy
goodnight everyone!! <3
“hot cocoa” has gone offline
tetris: gnn heading off :)
“tetris” has gone offline
temu ribbon girl: gn and sweet dreams euini
and custas LET THE BEDBUGS BITE
“temu ribbon girl” has gone offline
euini: gn to you too, richeh!
sleep well, everyone ^^
“euini” has gone offline
custard: wow.
i see how it is.
im logging off you suckers
“custard” has gone offline
tar tar sauce: nighty night
“tar tar sauce” has gone offline
julibee: byeeyeye :3
“jubilee” has gone offline
ininia: alr
goodnight yall
“ininia” has gone offline
a-got it: I hope you all get enough rest, sleep well.
And for those who attend atelier municipal, please do not forget Mr. Qifrey’s art assignment.
“a-got it” has gone offline
”tetris” has come online
tetris: OH SHOOT RIGHT
“tetris” has gone offline