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"I can't do this anymore, Tikki!" Marinette sobbed, head in her hands.
"What are you talking about, Marinette?" Tikki's voice came from her purse.
"Alya was right, I can't be with Adrien and keep lying to him! But I can't tell him the truth either… I don't have a choice!" She choked out.
Marinette felt the tears stream down her face, soon mingling with the rain as it started coming down. "We're over…"
She kept her hands in front of her face, choking out sobs as she sat in despair. Her back was being soaked through by the rain, and she knew that her fringe would be almost impossible to salvage unless she was to completely style it from scratch all over again.
She didn't care. The day had been a fail. Alya hated her, or at least the lies she was telling. But knowing Alya that all came in one. The worst part about it is she was right—she can't keep lying to Adrien, it's not fair on any of them! Least of all Adrien.
Though Alya didn't know the whole story. Which Marinette is glad for, otherwise she'd probably never speak to her again. Technically she wasn't lying about it. Adrien being a senti-being wasn't on anyone's list of suspicions, so obviously no one had inquired about it.
It was still another secret she was keeping from him. Lie or not.
"Marinette…" Tikki tried, now by the side of her face. "I know this is difficult for you, but your negative emotions are dangerous right now, you can't let them overpower you!"
"What's the point, Tikki? I've failed everyone. The new butterfly miraculous holder is stronger than ever before, they could be hiding anywhere, in plain sight, and I'd never know!" She said, voice hush.
"No matter any of that, Paris needs you!"
"I told you you'd be better off giving the miraculous to someone else. I just make a mess of things, and dig myself into deeper holes!" She finally turned her head to look at Tikki, eyes red from the tears still running down her face, soon getting washed away and replaced by the rain.
"You're still young, Marinette, you're going to make mistakes! What matters is that you prove that you can fix them."
"But it'll never be the same. If I tell Adrien the truth, he'll never forgive me! I'd lose him forever!" Marinette threw her hands around.
Not to mention how the rest of the world would react to the fact that she'd lied blatantly to all of them! Cat Noir would be…
Well she'd lose him, too. And right now the thought of losing both Adrien and her partner, was too much to bare.
Her hand raised to her trembling lips. "Cat Noir would leave me. Again."
Tikki's eyes turned back to the Agreste mansion. "I don't think Plagg would let that happen,"
"I can't risk losing them!"
"If you wait you risk losing them anyway, Marinette!"
Marinette dropped her head into her lap, her arms limp at her side. "I know," she whispered, voice shaking.
She was trapped. In Gabriel's lies, in her own, between everything! Her responsibility's were terrifying, and too much for her to carry on her own. Yet too much to share the burden with someone else.
"Let's go home. There's no point sitting out in the rain." Tikki was right in front of her when she lifted her head back up and opened her eyes. Looking as sweet and cute as ever.
In a way, she'd wished she was never Ladybug. Never having to know about any of this, but if she wasn't ladybug she wouldn't have Tikki, and she wouldn't have Cat Noir. She loved them both too much to wish that away. Maybe that was selfish, but a lot of the things she'd been doing recently had been basically classed as selfish by Alya anyway. Might as well add to the list.
"You're right," she nodded.
"And besides, Adrien is an understanding person. It might take him a while to come to terms with everything, but I don't think he would be mad at you forever. We'll figure it out."
Marinette stood, wiping the back of her hand over her eyes as if it was going to dry them. It didn't.
Her bunches sagged down from the weight of the water, dripping down her back in an uncomfortable motion. Her fringe did the same, dropping droplets onto her hand.
"Thanks, Tikki." She held her bag, gesturing for her to get in.
It didn't help. She still felt numb, she still had to break up with Adrien, but Paris needed Ladybug more than Adrien needed Marinette—he was too good for her—. Whether that was true or not the other way round, she wasn't so sure. Adrien was the only thing keeping her sane nowadays, god knows what mental state she'd be in when she broke up with him.
"Mom, Dad, we're home," Marinette called as she walked up the last of the stairs and stood outside the door. Her tears were dried, and she'd put on a happier face. Though that's more than she can say for the rest of her. She was drenched through. She could have transformed and made her way home that way, but she'd needed the walk, and possibly even the soak through, too.
She opened the door, and they immediately looked round. Her mom was sat on the sofa, watching one of her shows on the TV, and her dad stood in the kitchen, mixing some batter.
"Just the two I wanted to see!" Tom said, smiling wide, before taking in her appearance.
"Did you get caught in the rain, sweetie?" Sabine asked.
"Maybe just a little," Marinette nodded.
"Couldn't you have transformed? Your suit is waterproof, right?"
"Yes mom, it is, but after today I just felt like a walk would do me some good."
"All right, well you go and get yourself dried and put your pyjamas on, and then we can watch whatever you want while waiting for the macarons to bake."
Marinette turned her head to her dad.
"I'm baking Tikki some macarons! But I forgot to ask her favourite flavour…"
Marinette smiled despite everything, and Tikki zipped out of her purse fully and over to the kitchenette.
Her parents loved Tikki. They thought she was lovely and a very supportive little companion for Marinette. All were true, of course. There's no way Marinette could have done any of this without Tikki. In either way.
"I like when you bake the strawberry ones!" Tikki supplied.
"Ah, so that's why whenever I make a batch a few go missing!"
Tikki giggled. "I'm sorry,"
"There's no worries, have to keep you nice and fed!"
"Okay, mom." Marinette nodded her head. "I'll be back down in a few minutes."
She traipsed up the steps, and opened the hatch. Her room was exactly as she had left it. Something she'd made a habit of noticing the last few months. Hence the monitor. What if they disguised themselves as one of her parents like they had uncle Wang? They could find anything in her room, and that she's Ladybug!
She went through a sudden panic.
Surely they're too busy finding somewhere else to be their lair, right? After all they'd almost caught them today, if it hadn't have been for them disgusing themselves as King Monkey, they might have succeeded.
She should have gotten Luka and Felix in on their plan. Felix would have been an extra head to help out, and the power of second chance would have worked perfectly in their favour. But it was a lot of burden for him. She didn't want to put that on him, and she couldn't have retrieved the miraculous and use it herself, as she didn't have nearly enough time to get there, and Pegasus didn't know Luka was Viperion, so couldn't make a portal for them, either.
"Aughh," she groaned when the hatch shut, scouring the room for a towel.
The framed picture of her and Adrien stared at her, and she almost reached out and made it so it was facing down.
She left it. Instead opening the drawer and rummaging for her designated swimming pool towel.
She found it, and draped it over her desk chair.
Shivering, she attempted to peel her jacket off. It felt awful.
"Ew," she finally got it off, and it plopped to the floor, leaving a puddle. She groaned again.
Taking off her tights were going to be a challenge.
A good fifteen minutes or so later, she was dried, and dressed in her pyjamas. Her hair was still wet though, so she pulled out her hair dryer and plugged it in.
She didn't dry it all the way through, just enough so it wasn't dripping, and then styled her fringe.
That would do. All she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and cry right now, but her parents and Tikki were waiting for her downstairs, and she couldn't just ignore them.
Scooping up her wet clothes in her towel, she trudged back down into the house again.
"All done, cupcake?" Tom asked.
"Yes, dad."
"I'll get those clothes in the dryer, you sit down." He held his hands out to take the clothes. "The macarons will be ready soon!"
"Thank you, papa." She handed them to him, and he was on his way.
"You look cozy, Marinette," Tikki flew up to her, little chefs hat sat on her head.
"And you look professional," she tickled at her stomach.
Tikki laughed.
Sabine nodded. "You do look cozy, I'm a little jealous."
Marinette forced a smile, and joined her on the sofa, getting comfortable next to her. Tikki came to sit on the armrest.
"How was Adrien?"
Marinette froze.
He was fine. For now.
"He was good! He said something about him and Natalie watching the movie his mother starred in tonight." He'd wanted to watch it with both her and Natalie, but Marinette had left too soon, and he didn't question it. He knew her feelings were mixed when it came to his parents, especially his father.
Right now, the thought of seeing Émilie on the TV after seeing her in the basement in that… thing—what was it? A coffin? No, she was still… alive, in a sense. An incubator? Stop thinking about it, Marinette!—, was too much for her. Seeing Amélie was one thing, and bad enough.
"That sounds nice," Sabine wrapped her arm around Marinette's shoulders, pulling her in. "Are you seeing him tomorrow, too?"
Hopefully not. But sooner the better breaking up with him, right? She desperately fought off tears, and disguised it with a yawn instead. "I don't know yet."
"How about you invite him and Alya and Nino round for lunch? You know your dad would be more than happy to make something delicious everyone will like!" She clicked off of her programme, and went to the Home Screen.
That sounded like an awful idea. No, it sounded lovely, in any normal circumstance. This wasn't a normal circumstance. Alya was mad at her, Adrien wasn't, but she couldn't bare to be around him and continue having to lie. If he said something about his father she knew Alya's face would raise more questions, and everything would just go terribly wrong…
"That's a nice idea, mom, but i'm fairly certain they're all busy tomorrow. I'll probably only get a facetime from Adrien."
"Okay, maybe another time then." She accepted the lie. "What do you want to watch?"
"I don't mind," she shrugged, as Sabine started flicking through movies.
"How about this one?" Sabine teased, landing on the Ladybug and Cat Noir movie.
"Well, Adrien does voice Cat Noir." A finger went to her chin as she tapped it. "Though Ladybug doesn't sound anything like me."
"I thought she did quite a convincing job! As did Adrien!" Tikki offered her opinion.
He did. Sometimes a little too good.
"It's all in the dryer!" Her dads voice echoed through the living room. "What are we watching? Oh, the Ladybug and Cat Noir movie! That's very ironic, wouldn't you think?"
Sabine laughed. "That's what I was saying, Tom,"
"Well you two pick something, and I'll get these macarons finished!"
The oven timer beeped, right on cue.
"As if by magic!" He pulled the oven glove off, and opened the oven door.
"Mmm, smells delicious!" Tikki rose in the air.
Marinette took a deep breath. The smell of freshly baked pastries never ceased to make her feel a little warmer inside. "It does!"
"They'll be all done in a minute," he placed the pan down on the side, and gestured to the filling.
"Need any help?" Sabine asked.
"I think someone's already dressed for the occasion," Marinette pointed to Tikki, still decked out in her chef's hat.
"So she is," Tom laughed. "If she wants to help, it would be appreciated!"
Tikki immediately flew over. What she could do to help Marinette didn't know, but she definitely loved to be near baked goods. Just not gallettes, that was… well kind of unsafe, actually.
Her mom clicked through a few movies before landing on a family favourite. "What do you think, Marinette?"
"Sounds perfect, mom." She smiled.
Marinette hated feeling like this. Even though she had finally told her parents she was Ladybug, she now had more secrets. It was infuriating. She just wanted to tell them everything, every little detail of everything she'd been through, just so someone other than Tikki would understand.
But it would do no good. They'd end up more worried for her and probably tell her to stop being Ladybug or something.
She couldn't afford that happening.
No, the only person she might have been able to tell about it was Alya. Now though, she'd proven she wasn't to be trusted with any more information. Twice.
Only this time was permanent. She couldn't tell anyone. Not even Adrien. Especially not Adrien. She had to distance herself from him. Even if it killed her.
He could not find out his father was monarch, it would ruin his entire view on him, on her, and shatter him. No. This was the only way.
Alya was unfortunately right about one thing.
"Do I think Marinette Dupain-Cheng would do anything in order to protect other people, even if it meant ruining her own life?
Yes."