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Life was not going to be the same.
It couldn’t be. Not after everything that happened. Not after everything they’ve lost.
Rogue knew that. Part of her was guilty, getting to see the sky, the stars, feel the wind in her hair, the warmth of her man beside her, when the person who held her through the darkest time of her life was gone.
She’d broken down when they found out. Cried her eyes out and wanted to be angry, wanted to curse the God that took the kindest of them. But she couldn’t.
Feeling guilty for that, for her brother sacrificing himself for her to stay alive meant disrespecting his choice.
Kurt wanted her to stay alive. To find happiness, in any way she could.
She was honoring him through that.
Or doing her best.
Remy grunted quietly, lowering his head and closing his eyes, his hand flying up to his ribs. Rogue clocked it instantly, worry on her face as she put a steadying hand on his arm. They sat at the roof of the mansion, watching the night sky together, and last thing she wanted was for him to tip over and fall.
“You alright, sugah?”
Remy grabbed her hand with his, the other one still pressed to his side as he breathed through it.
“Oui,” he rasped eventually, swallowing thickly. “Oui, just… Still pulls sometimes.”
After the adrenaline of their fight was gone, it was evident just how much strain Gambit had put on his body during their fight for X-Corp. Now, Beast had him on physical therapy even if Remy insisted he didn’t need one.
He kicked X-Factor’s ass while being half-dead and mentally warding off Apocalypse. That man was unstoppable when he needed to be.
But now, as life got safer, it seemed like his body started to run out of resources and it was time to replenish them, in every way.
Rogue squeezed his arm carefully, making sure he wasn’t in too much pain. Remy held onto her for another long moment.
He slowly exhaled and leaned back, until they both lowered to the roof tiles.
Rogue watched his face carefully, raising her hand to smooth out the pain off his brow. Gambit seemed to relax at that, moving his hand from his side to find hers, lacing their fingers together.
Rogue’s eyes flickered down.
It was warm, so he was in one of his tops, cropped back in the days when everything was simpler.
On his ribs, there was a jagged scar that never got fully healed. Apocalypse seemed to restore his body when he turned him into his Horseman, but not this. They didn’t know why, but the scar was still there, etched into his body like a reminder.
Rogue looked at it, memories flickering in front of her eyes.
“We never talked about it.”
Remy closed his eyes.
“No need to, chère. Water under de bridge.”
Rogue knitted her brow.
He always did that. Whenever something got too close to home, whenever something was too painful to talk, to think about it - he put it away into the deepest vault and kept it hidden. He kept his cards close to his chest.
Rogue was not letting him do that, not now. Not about this.
“No.”
She sat up, pulling her knees close and hugging them. Remy sighed, propping himself up on his elbows and watching her.
“Ah’m not just lettin’ it go, Remy,” Rogue started slowly. “Ah can’t.”
“Rogue…”
“You died, sugah. Ah held you in my arms and felt you grow cold,” she said, throat tightening, eyes closing. “And you died, thinkin’ Ah chose someone else.”
Remy let out a slow exhale, sitting up next to her.
“Remy here now, chère,” he said, keeping his hands to himself for now. Even if Rogue was finally getting better with physical contact, she was fragile sometimes. This seemed like one of those moments. Unless she reached for him first, he was a statue of solid warmth.
“Ah know. Ah know, sugah. I’m grateful as heck for it…” Rogue sighed, her eyes starting to tingle with tears. “But Ah must say it anyway.”
Remy waited patiently as she turned to him.
“Ah love you. Have for a long time, long before all of this happened. And Ah was scared. And Ah was confused, and Ah made a mistake and the cost of this mistake was more than Ah could bear.”
She reached for his hand. He grasped hers without hesitation, his thumb running over her knuckles.
“It was never as easy as not choosing you,” Rogue whispered. “Whenever Ah ran, Ah was runnin’ from myself… From just how much Ah wanted you. It scared me. But you…” She blinked the tears off her lashes, Remy’s eyes searching her with growing concern, his heart aching at the sight of her distress. She gave him a trembling smile. “There was never a gap between the man you were and the one I want, you stubborn, foolish, self-sacrificing Swamp Rat. You were always that man. Ah was just too much of a coward to believe it.”
Rogue’s throat worked around a lump stuck in it, painful in its intensity.
“Ah’m sorry Ah was too late to tell you that. Ah’m sorry Ah broke your heart.”
For a long moment, he just looked at her as Rogue fought back her tears. She tried to keep them at bay, but the flickers of the worst night of her life kept her surfacing, and her chest felt tighter and tighter with his breath.
And then Gambit guided her into his embrace. Careful, making sure their skin wasn’t touching, but he held her close and pressed his lips to the crown of her head.
“I won’t say it didn’t hurt, mon amour,” he whispered, stroking her hair. “But it be de past now. An’ we gotta move on, oui? Both of us…”
Rogue gripped onto the fabric of his top. He tightened his grip.
“Together, chère. We can do this together.”
Rogue nodded, still tearful.
“Ah refuse to ever let you go now.”
Remy chuckled.
“You pried me outta claws of an ancient madman, Rogue. Don’t think you ever let me go.”
He pressed a kiss to her bangs.
“An’ don’t you ever think I want you to.”
They stayed together on the roof for some more.
Life wasn't the same. It couldn’t be.
But now, they’d face it together.