Work Text:
family failures support group
18:19pm
jenson🫧
can anyone recommend a quick and easy way to kill myself?
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
No?
sebastian🪴
i could but i won't
Mark
Jump in a plane propeller
You're at an airport
jenson🫧
that could work
if my fuckass flight wasn't DELAYEDDD
Nico🦩
Of course it is
jenson🫧
by 2 hours apparently
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE???
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
That is just your luck
jenson🫧
tell me about it
look spain is great and all
but please
i want to go home
Mark
This is the first time anyone has ever activately wanted to go to England
Nico🦩
I was going to make that joke damnit
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Thank god you didn't
Nico🦩
Fuck off
jenson🫧
haha
let's all make fun of me for being homesick
very funny
sebastian🪴
sorry jense, i'll just give the airport a call and tell them you're homesick
maybe they'll cancel the delay
jenson🫧
omg really???
awww thanks seb❤️
Mark
Does he know?
sebastian🪴
no shut up
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
He's a bit slow but we love him🥺
jenson🫧
who is slow?
Nico🦩
Nothing
sebastian🪴
sorry jense, they said no
jenson🫧
💔💔💔
i hate my life
the only saving grace right now is there is a sexy ass individual sitting opposite me
Mark
Send a photo
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Pervert
Mark
I'm not a pervert I'm just intrigued
Nico🦩
I'm intrigued as well
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
What for?
Nico🦩
Why do you care?
jenson🫧
just kiss already
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Ew no
Nico🦩
No thanks
sebastian🪴
one day it will happen
Mark
The world will end
jenson🫧
oh for sure
anyway
i can take a sneaky pic
for our pleasure ;)
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Just yours
sebastian🪴
and mark for some reason
Nico🦩
"Ally" he claims
Mark
100% ally
Look around
jenson🫧
*Photo*
Nico🦩
Absolutely not Jense
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
I would
Nico🦩
Of course YOU would
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
What, are you jealous?
Nico🦩
No I just pity anyone who has ever slept with you
sebastian🪴
bold of you to assume lew has a body count
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
This is just rude
I have a body count
Mark
Yeah and I can fly
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Fuck off all of you
jenson🫧
BACK TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND
HELLO???
never have i seen a specimen this fine
i'm cumming in my pants
sebastian🪴
thank god for this delay
Mark
Ew
jenson🫧
everyone hates me
ok awesome
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Because you say things like that
sebastian🪴
only i can say things like that
Kimi☃️
Yes
Mark
He's alive?!
Nico🦩
Seb let him out the attic
jenson🫧
this is his monthly hour of sunlight
Kimi☃️
What
sebastian🪴
ignore them baby
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Grown ass men btw
Nico🦩
Hypocrite
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Nico tries not to be a snarky bitch challenge
Level impossible
Nico🦩
I'M the snarky bitch, am I?
jenson🫧
ladies please
we are once again getting distracted
the main event is HERE in front of me
and thanks for joining us, kimi
Kimi☃️
👍
sebastian🪴
so what's his name?
jenson🫧
after eavesdropping for a concerning amount of time
i believe his name to be fernando
though whether this person is a "he" i don't know
i'm not one to make assumptions
because they have the trademark lesbian mum of 3 haircut
so anything is possible
Mark
Why are you assuming people's genders
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
You are the last person in this gc I would expect to hear that from
Mark
100% ally
Nico🦩
100% closeted more like
sebastian🪴
stop queerbaiting nico
jense you should talk to him
jenson🫧
you think?
what if i scare him off?
Kimi☃️
Don't be surprised
jenson🫧
bitch
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Kimi hasn't said this much in a long time
sebastian🪴
i'm so proud❤️
Mark
Scare him off with what, Jenson
Your overwhelming energy
Nico🦩
Says the man with -1 energy
jenson🫧
okay what do i say?
i'm gonna talk to him i've decided
but i don't want to mess up
normally i say something stupid and scare them off
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Start with "hello"
jenson🫧
thanks genius!
i didn't know we had captain obvious in attendance
Mark
Tell him he's hot
Then ask if he wants to take it into the bathrooms
Nico🦩
Whore
jenson🫧
talking from experience, mark?
Mark
Obviously
sebastian🪴
ew gross
if you want to pull someone, don't be freaky straight away
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
You did that with Kimi and it worked though?
sebastian🪴
...
that's different
Kimi☃️
Freaky = good👍
jenson🫧
MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MINDS
FREAKY OR CASUAL?
Nico🦩
Start off casual, then hint at something freaky and see how he takes it
jenson🫧
thank you nico!
something actually helpful
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
For once
Nico🦩
Shut up omg
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Make me
Mark
Get a room
sebastian🪴
you 2 are insufferable
both of you be quiet
jenson🫧
so okay
this is my rough plan
i go and sit next to him
say hi
strike up a conversation with my effortless charm
then i'll asses his energy
and either run away and cry
or soft launch my inner freak
Nico🦩
Sounds good, Jense
sebastian🪴
good luck soldier!
tell us how it goes afterwards
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Amen sister
I believe in you
Mark
Don't fuck it up
jenson🫧
thanks guys
weirdly supportive from you all
Kimi☃️
Hope you fail
jenson🫧
right
thanks kimi
sebastian🪴
🥰
jenson🫧
I GOT THIS
IF NOT
...
THE PLANE PROPELLER IS ALWAYS AN OPTION
Nico🦩
Don't kill youself Jense
Mark
Unless the lesbian mum of 3 says no
sebastian🪴
how about we all stop talking about killing ourselves?
before i start showing up to your houses
Kimi☃️
What Sebastian said
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Ok no more suicidal thoughts
I know that's difficult for some of you
Mark
Like who
Nico🦩
...
sebastian🪴
...
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
...
Mark
Oh right
Fuck you too
18:39pm
jenson🫧
update
Nico🦩
You're alive!
sebastian🪴
how did it go?
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Are they a man?
jenson🫧
YES IT'S A MAN
STOP THIS MADNESS
Mark
So did he like you
jenson🫧
ummm
i think so?
sebastian🪴
you sound unsure
jenson🫧
no it was good!
i promise
we hit it off surprisingly well
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Wow
Nico🦩
Even Jense can do it
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Can you shut up for once?
sebastian🪴
ladies please, get a room
so what did you guys do?
did you exchange numbers, or "take it to the bathroom" as mark weirdly put it?
jenson🫧
no i did not do that, thank you very much
who do you think i am?
Mark
Well
jenson🫧
don't answer that
we talked for a bit
i told him he was cute
he went all red
which admittedly turned me on a little
Nico🦩
Tmi
Kimi☃️
Not real
jenson🫧
THANK YOU KIMI
TMI IS NOT REAL
IT'S A CONCEPT
Mark
I really think it should be a thing
sebastian🪴
that's because you're homophobic
Mark
I don't have a single friend who is straight
jenson🫧
maybe that's fate trying to tell you something
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Nature's warning
Mark
If you guys are supposed to be the warning then I think I'll be alright
Nico🦩
The shade???
jenson🫧
let's ignore the homophobe
back to me and my very gay situation
guys
he kind of maybe flirted back a little
sebastian🪴
congratulations!!!
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
So proud of you
Kimi☃️
👍
jenson🫧
he's very shy
i can tell
but it's alright
i'll be the extrovert to his introvert
oh my god he's adorable
Nico🦩
So are you not talking anymore?
jenson🫧
he went to the toilet
Mark
Maybe he went to wank off while thinking about you
jenson🫧 removed Mark from the group
Kimi☃️
At last
jenson🫧
anyway
so i'm taking this time to update you
and say it's going well
sebastian🪴
i feel like a proud mum
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Go get your man!
Nico🦩
At least someone can
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Die actually
jenson🫧
ok i need a group vote
so unfortunately
jenson🫧 added Mark
Mark
Rude
Kimi☃️
Deserved
jenson🫧
as always, thank you kimi
so group vote!!!
should i:
1) ask him for his number (4 votes)
2) wait a little longer (0 votes)
Mark
Can you add a third option
jenson🫧
no i am not adding shag him in the airport toilets
you whore
shut up
Nico🦩
You have to shoot your shot
sebastian🪴
it's better to shoot and miss than never shoot and not miss
wait no
it's better to miss and shoot
no
it's better to shoot than miss and not shoot at all
no
someone help me please
Kimi☃️
Better to shoot and miss than not shoot at all
sebastian🪴
yes that, thank you baby
jenson🫧
assuming i will miss if i shoot my shot
well i'll be damned
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Let's keep it realistic
jenson🫧
BITCH
what happened to you guys being supportive?
Mark
We remembered who you are
jenson🫧
i'm not listening to a homophobe
Nico🦩
Ok then
We remembered who you are
jenson🫧
right
whatever
hate you guys
oh
oh
oh
oh
he's coming back
i'm scared
sebastian🪴
just keep doing what you're doing
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Then ask him out
Mark
Easy
Nico🦩
You are the most outgoing person ever
This should be simple
jenson🫧✨️
I KNOWWW
oh man
i'm dead
i'm gonna fumble
rip future me
gonna cry myself to sleep on this flight
he just sat down
bye guys
i love you
Kimi☃️
Drama queen
sebastian🪴
HA
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Reminds me of someone
Nico🦩
Shut up
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Why do you assume I was talking about you?
Nico🦩
Because you looove to talk about me
Mark
Fuck this I'm making dinner
sebastian🪴
yeah me too
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
No I do not?
Nico🦩
You're so obsessed with me
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Oh I'M the one who's obsessed?
Says the guy who always tries to insult me at every moment
Is this your shitty way of flirting or something?
Nico🦩
Maybe it is
Then what?
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
...
Nico🦩
That's what I thought
Silence
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Oh fuck off
Nico🦩
You fuck off
Kimi☃️
...
Denial
jenson🫧/Fernando
19:01pm
jenson🫧
is this fernando?
Unsaved number
Yes it is!
jenson🫧
thank god
i was worried i typed the wrong number in
jenson🫧 saved contact Fernando😋
family failures support group
19:04pm
jenson🫧
i got his number
i got his number
i got his number
Mark
Wow
Nico🦩
Well done Jense!
sebastian🪴
yayyyyy!!!
did you ask him?
jenson🫧
yes
took long enough
but he said yes
and he looked pretty surprised
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Awww
sebastian🪴
kimi was surprised when i first asked for his number
Kimi☃️
👍
Mark
Why
Kimi☃️
Sebastian is scary
sebastian🪴
😌😌
jenson🫧
he isn't wrong
but anyway
i am now in the toilet
and i'm like
recharging myself
Nico🦩
Recharging?
jenson🫧
yes
now i know he kinda likes me
and he's at least interested
unless he only said yes because he felt bad
...
anyway
the mood has changed now
i need to begin freak activation
Mark
I pray for the people in that airport
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Oh boyyy
jenson🫧
negative much?
sebastian🪴
you have to let the freak out
jenson🫧
thank you seb
also
there is a kind of issue
Nico🦩
What does that mean?
jenson🫧
well he's spanish
Mark
Bit racist
jenson🫧
no mark you fucking idiot
the issue isn't that he's spanish
let me finish
sebastian🪴
almost got cancelled there jense
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Not for the first time
jenson🫧
everyone shut up
listen, the problem is he lives here
in spain
Nico🦩
Oh shit
Kimi☃️
Yikes
jenson🫧
yikes indeed
but he comes to england often
so maybe
maybe
we could make it work
sebastian🪴
i believe in you
long distance is difficult but rewarding
jenson🫧
you think so?
sebastian🪴
absolutely
Mark
You guys are thinking very far ahead
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Here comes the homophobe
jenson🫧
honestly
this is my future husband
have some faith in me
Nico🦩
So what does he do in England?
Kimi☃️
Cry probably
jenson🫧
bitch
but honestly i don't know
my best guess is work
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
That's convenient
sebastian🪴
it's like he was made for you, jense
jenson🫧
AWWW
we have to get married
he's so
cute
and fucking sexy
damn
Mark
Maybe don't keep him waiting then
jenson🫧
oh shit yeah
ok
ok i'm going back
next time you hear from me will either be:
the date of the wedding
or me telling you the plane is boarding
Nico🦩
If it's the wedding, make sure it's in the summer please
That's when my hair looks best
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Winter wedding it is
sebastian🪴
don't even fucking start
go and secure that spanish baddie, jense!
jenson🫧
I WILL
I LOVE YOU GUYS
sebastian🪴
i have high hopes
Kimi☃️
👍
Nico🦩
I've never been to Spain, is it nice?
Mark
Hot but decent
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
You talking about the people or the country?
Mark
Both
sebastian🪴
what are spanish people like?
has anyone ever dated a spaniard?
Nico🦩
Mark?
Mark
Why are you asking me
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Because your dating life is like a category 5 hurricane
And there is nothing and no one you haven't done
sebastian🪴
exactly that
so have you?
Mark
Firstly that is very rude
Kimi☃️
But true
Mark
Hey I said it was rude
Never denied it
But kind of, I hooked up with one
Nico🦩
That will do
Spill it
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
What was she like?
sebastian🪴
notebook and pens ladies
Mark
Right this is extremely personal
Nico🦩
We do not give a fuck
Mark
Ok then
So there were actually 2
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Excuse me?
Mark
I didn't even realise
sebastian🪴
hang on stop right there
i just want to make sure i'm perfectly clear
you hooked up with 2 people
at the same time?
Mark
Yes
sebastian🪴
without realising???
Mark
Not at first
It started as just 1 woman that I met on a night out, she was cool, pretty hot, all that
At some point she says we should go back to hers and that she had something to show me
Bit creepy but ok
Nico🦩
Why did you still go back with her?
I'm so scared wtf
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Me too?
Kimi☃️
Why are they agreeing
Mark
We get back to her flat and there's another woman there
Turns out they're looking for a third
Nico🦩
WHAT
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
No way you said yes
Mark
WHAT ELSE WOULD I SAY
sebastian🪴
NO???
THE FUCK???
Mark
I felt bad, and I was literally in their flat
Also I was kind of intrigued
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
You are awful
sebastian🪴
just wait until jense hears about this
Kimi☃️
I had threesome once
sebastian🪴
kimi?!
Nico🦩
What the fuck?!
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Who with, Kimi?
Kimi☃️
2 guys
Mark
Before you met Seb or with Seb
sebastian🪴
excuse you?
Kimi☃️
Before Seb
I would never share Seb
sebastian🪴
❤️
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Oh get a room
Nico🦩
What the hell is wrong with you people?
Kimi☃️
I'm gay
Mark
I'm in the family failures support group for a reason
Nico🦩
The different between their answers lmao
sebastian🪴
sexy gay man vs straggot
Mark
What does that mean
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Straggot
sebastian🪴
straggot
Nico🦩
Straggot
Kimi☃️
Straggot
Mark
Right, ok then
Thanks for that
20:34pm
jenson🫧
GUYS
PLANE
IS
BOARDINGGG
sebastian🪴
yayyy!!!
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Finally
jenson🫧
i am so happy right now
my ass is killing me
Nico🦩
So you did take it to the bathrooms?
jenson🫧
NO
IT HURTS FROM SITTING DOWN FOR SO LONG
CAN WE STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT?
sebastian🪴
yes please
so how has it been going with future husband?
jenson🫧
amazing
i think he now knows
every single detail about my life
i got a bit carried away talking
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Nothing new
jenson🫧
ok rude
but anyway
i said sorry for talking so much
he said he didn't mind
he liked listening to me talk
god i wanna cry
he's so adorable guys
i need him
Nico🦩
Wait that's so cute
sebastian🪴
they grow up so fast🥹
jenson🫧
so i have this plan
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
That's never good news
Nico🦩
Stoo being such a pessimist
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Leave me alone
jenson🫧
ladies
for once in your life
get along
sebastian🪴
where's the getting along tshirt, they need one
jenson🫧
honestly
ANYWAY
i'm pretty sure the seat next to me isn't taken
Nico🦩
On the plane?
jenson🫧
yeah
i was thinking
maybe
i could ask if he wants to sit
with me
is that weird?
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
No that's cute
But ask where he's sitting first
jenson🫧
good plan
i will do that
sebastian🪴
then you can cuddle on the flight home
jenson🫧
😩😩😩
Nico🦩
Unnecessary
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
I hope this Fernando guy survives
jenson🫧
ignoring you
oh
guys
i think i just fumbled
sebastian🪴
that was a complete u turn
what could have possibly happened in the last 5 seconds?
jenson🫧
i think he saw that message
you know
"😩😩😩"
Nico🦩
Lmaooo
sebastian🪴
HA
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Oh you idiot
jenson🫧
I KNOWWW
this is so embarrassing
one sec
Nico🦩
It was going too well
sebastian🪴
it really was
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Where are the other 2?
sebastian🪴
kimi is asleep right now
i dread to think where mark is
Nico🦩
Don't we all?
jenson🫧
tragedy avoided
he found it funny
and he says hi to you all
sebastian🪴
hiiiiiii
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Hello Fernando!!
Nico🦩
Jense wants to marry you
jenson🫧
NICO
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Lolll
Nico🦩
Fernando needs to be educated on our group
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Very true
sebastian🪴
so you can do it!
Nico🦩
Shut up Seb
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Don't ruin it
I'm sure he'll find a way to piss me off sooner or later
jenson🫧
i see the plane
i see the plane
I SEE THE PLANE
INGLATERRA HERE I COME
sebastian🪴
finally!
so did you ask him?
jenson🫧
omg i did
turns out
he's only 2 rows behind me anyway
on the other side
Nico🦩
Oh perfect
jenson🫧
and he said he'd move next to me
guys
is this game?
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
This is incredible
How have you pulled this off?
sebastian🪴
the gods have spoken
Nico🦩
Anything is possible
jenson🫧
what, like you and lewis getting along?
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Probably not
sebastian🪴
not total denial there
there is a chance
jenson🫧
one day it will happen
Nico🦩
Sureee
sebastian🪴
oh come off it
we all know you secretly like each other
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Trust me we don't
Nico🦩
Yeah no
jenson🫧
whatever you say
closet is made of glass
sebastian🪴
we know you
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Can we go back to Jense and his husband please?
jenson🫧
yes!
but also i'm about to lose signal
so maybe not
Nico🦩
Good
sebastian🪴
you should add fernando to our group
jenson🫧
i feel like calling him a failure is rude
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
If he's into you, something must have gone wrong
jenson🫧
RIGHT
that is rudeee
sebastian🪴
i'm sure he wouldn't be too offended by the name
Nico🦩
I agree
Also if this does go further, he needs to be briefed
sebastian🪴
we need to assess him
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
And warn him
Mess with Jense and he is a dead man
jenson🫧
i hope you know
he is reading these messages
Nico🦩
Oh shit
sebastian🪴
hello fernando!!!
there is nothing to be afraid of
jenson🫧
he doesn't believe you
ANYWAY
we're about to get on the plane
so i'll talk to you all tomorrow
and maybe even add fernando to this groupchat
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Yesss
sebastian🪴
safe travels jense
jenson🫧
love you guysss
can't believe i found a husband before nico
Nico🦩
Shut up?
sebastian🪴
technically nico has already found his husband
they just don't know they're husbands yet
Nico🦩
Excuse me
sebastian🪴
👀
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Wait what?
jenson🫧
ON THAT NOTE
BYE
sebastian🪴
night guys🤭
Nico🦩
I hate you all
Mark
Gay
⋅˚₊‧ lewis ‧₊˚ ⋅
Look who finally shows up
Nico🦩
And it's only to insult me
Mark
Night
Nico🦩
You are so annoying
Trust me when I catch you