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The most frustrating part about having Peter in her life, MJ comes to find, is that the memories don’t instantly return.
She’s read the letter he’d planned to give her a million times over, let Peter tell her stories about them together before the spell, and desperately tried to imagine where Peter slotted in on the memories she has of high school.
Naively, she thought that if she did all of this, it’d be enough to jog her memory of how integral Peter evidently was in her life. She thought, much like how Ned figured out that Peter was Spider-Man and he knew him, it would come back in a routine memory or a reminder of how they used to do things.
Instead, she’s left with half explained letters and gestures and reminders from Peter, but it doesn’t replace what she’s craving, and so she gives up on the dream of having the kind of luck Ned seemed to have.
Rather than focus on the negative, she decides to be grateful for what she has now. She has Peter, who is gradually letting them into their lives more, hanging out at their apartment and making sure they’re safe. They have a new friend in New York that they can trust, and a confidant as they begin adult life together, and it feels grown up, like maybe it was something they were supposed to have all along.
She has Ned, who was also affected, and while he did regain his memories, he empathizes with her as she struggles to separate what was and what she can’t remember from what they have now.
Having them around constantly doesn’t make the confusion go away, but it does make it a little easier to manage.
They set into a ritual of spending more time together than not. Peter is still guarded, overly cautious of involving them in things that really shouldn’t concern them. They watch trashy TV and order takeout. Ned and Peter build legos while MJ sketches. Sometimes, when the Spidey Tracker alerts the villains in the vicinity, Peter is on high alert, making sure the two of them are cared for before anything else.
MJ has come to terms with the fact that she may never remember who Peter is. She grieves it for a while, stuck somewhere between the anger and acceptance for weeks as she watches Ned navigate through it all beside her. But having someone who understands and trying to make sense of what life used to be based on a letter she suspects she was never supposed to find are two different things, and maybe that’s where it’s hardest to comprehend.
In an effort to make sense of any of it, MJ takes a break from seeing Peter for a few months, creating space that was supposed to help. She joined a book club and went on dates that didn’t mean anything, and it helped for a while.
But everything ended back with Peter. Everything ended with her wanting to be on the fire escape waiting for him to visit. She left the news on in the background and would pause and watch if she heard Spider-Man’s name.
She had come to terms with the fact that she would never live in a world where Spider-Man isn’t in her life, and maybe that’s for the best.
On a snowy afternoon while MJ busies herself making her mom’s soup from scratch for she and Ned for dinner, there’s a knock on the door. She’s surprised to see Peter there, who, to his credit, also looks as surprised to see her.
“Sorry, Ned said that I should come over and we could hang out tonight?” he says, standing on the threshold looking more awkward than MJ has ever seen him. “Is he…”
“He’s not home from work yet,” MJ says, then pauses. “He texted me that he was running late. And now I know why.”
“Why?” Peter asks, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him when MJ invites him in, returning to the kitchen.
MJ sighs. She stirs the soup as it simmers, reaching to preheat the oven to warm up some bread just to keep herself busy. “I was telling him that I wanted to talk to you, but I wasn’t really sure how to bring it up. He definitely told you to come over early so that we’d be alone and I’d have an excuse to talk to you without an audience.”
“Oh,” Peter says softly. He waits a beat, then looks up at her. “Well, what did you want to talk about?”
MJ sets the wooden spoon down, leading Peter to sit in the living room with her. “I know I asked for space, and I’ve needed it to help sort through everything,” she begins. “But it’s been hard, Peter. And even though I don’t remember you, I don’t think not having you in my life is the solution, either.”
Peter nods. He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and so MJ continues.
“Do you think we can be friends again?” she asks. “I want to give you a second chance, I want to figure out how we move forward while you have all of these memories and I don’t. From what Ned tells me, we all used to be really close. I don’t know if I’ll ever remember that, but I’d like to try to make new memories moving forward.”
Finally making eye contact, Peter brightens. “Yeah, yes, of course,” Peter nods, shifting. “I wish there was a way I could magically bring your memories back, but maybe starting over as friends will be just as good.”
MJ lets herself relax, nodding. “I don’t know how this is going to go,” she prefaces. “I want to let you in, I do, Peter. I just… it’s not really every day that your former boyfriend who told them to cast a spell to make you forget all of your memories shows back up in your life. And it may take me a while to forgive you, or even figure out what you mean to me beyond friends, if anything, but I do know that not having you in my life is not the solution.”
Peter nods, then smirks. “I’m sure you were a little jealous of Ned and I hanging out while you stayed in your room.”
MJ rolls her eyes. “Yeah, whatever. Maybe that played a part in it too,” she teases. “Since you’re here, and since Ned should be home any minute, want some soup?”
“That sounds good,” Peter nods. “Are you going to hang out with us tonight?”
MJ walks back to the kitchen, shrugging. “Yeah, I have nothing better to do.” She pulls down three bowls from the cabinet, ladling the soup in slowly. “Want to have a movie night?”
“Of course,” he agrees, accepting the soup and greeting Ned when he walks in, looking more smug than anything.
“So you two talked it out, I take it?” he asks, setting his things down and accepting his dinner from MJ’s outstretched hands, joining them in the living room. “Sorry for bombarding you both like that, but you have to agree it was getting a little ridiculous.”
MJ rolls her eyes. “Maybe, but it’s in the past now. We’re going to start over and see where it goes. At least figure out how to be friends again.”
Ned almost looks relieved, leaning back on the sofa. “Well thank god we can all hang out together now. This doesn’t have to be so weird.”
Peter laughs. “Yeah, Ned. Your plan worked,” he smirks, glancing at MJ, who smiles back.
Maybe it really would be okay.