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This is depressing. Well, I mean, I didn‘t expect going through my dead crewmates‘ belongings would be a very fun task. But I have a few years ahead of me until the Hail Mary reaches Erid, and I don‘t have anything better to do. So here I am, sitting in front of Ilyukhina‘s personal kit, unsure of where to start. Eventually, I just start unpacking everything.
Starting with the vodka. Lots of vodka. Then a pendant, some books in Russian, an old teddy bear - all the things I saw when I got some vodka out of her kit to celebrate with Rocky, thinking I was going home. Then, some photos of her and her family. They‘re all smiling. I bet they didn‘t know yet that soon enough, Olesya Ilyukhina would be going on a suicide mission. Then, something else catches my eye. A bottle of perfume. The bottle is a sort of ashy brown.
Huh. Did Ilyukhina wear perfume? Thinking about it, the only smell I associate with her is the smell of booze. But then, whose perfume is this?
There‘s a little tag attached to the bottle. I squint. In small, but very neat handwriting, it says „When you miss me, smell this. Remember, I‘m out there with you in spirit. -E.“
Okay. A little cheesy, but I guess that‘s to be expected when you’re writing a message to someone headed on a suicide mission. I look at the initial. Who’s E? Her boyfriend, maybe? No.
After another look at the perfume bottle, it’s definitely a womens’ perfume. Her mother, maybe? Or a sister? I did see two women who might have been Ilyukhina’s sisters on the family photo.
But no, that doesn’t make any sense, either. If it was a note from her family, surely they would’ve written it in Russian. Maybe a friend, then? Probably.
I keep on digging through the crate, finding more booze and more books, until I eventually reach a pile of letters at the bottom. I pick up the first one.
Dear Olesya,
I think it‘s a little ridiculous that you‘re making me write letters. I can assure you that every message regarding - or sent by anyone involved in - Project Hail Mary is safely encrypted. And unlike what you told me, I personally do not find it very romantic to spend so much of my precious time writing letters by hand. I guess the fact that I‘m still sitting here, writing this letter to you, shows that love really does make people do crazy things.
I‘m sorry that this is such a short and mundane letter, but I haven‘t written any longer texts by hand since my university days.
Wishing you all the best,
Eva
As soon as I read the signature under the letter, my brain stops working. After a brief moment of shock, I start thinking. Surely, there‘s more than just one person who could‘ve written this letter called Eva, right? There were so many people working on the Hail Mary, I bet there were at least half a dozen more Evas. And besides, the letter talked about love - I‘m not even sure if Stratt had ever heard of that concept before. But then, I read through the short letter again. And again.
The stuck-up tone perfectly matches my own e-mail exchanges with Eva Stratt.
But.
I would’ve known if Stratt… well… liked women. Wouldn’t I? We worked together so closely for so long. Even though, thinking about it, I’ve never heard her talk about her private life, let alone her love life. And after all, I had worked together with Ilyukhina as well, and I also had no idea that she liked women. Knowing her attitude, she probably never found it necessary to bring up, because she wouldn‘t care.
I grab the next letter. Another one by Stratt.
Dear Olesya,
thanks for explaining why you wanted to communicate through letters. I never thought that you might want to bring them aboard with you! That’s a very sweet thing to do. If you don’t mind, though, I would like to keep the ones you wrote to me, to read through them after you leave and relive this wonderful time we‘re having together. Speaking of our time together, I‘m very sorry that I don‘t have much time for you. Project Hail Mary still has top priority, but I am actively trying to spend as much time as possible with you, even if it‘s just spent silently laying on your bed together, looking out of the window into the stars. Thinking about how you‘ll be out there, eventually. Not too far from now. And when you‘re on your way, I‘m sure I‘ll think about you, looking up at the stars. And I will tell everyone that I loved the woman who‘s going to save the world. I can‘t wait to say that. But at the same time, I wish what we have right now could last forever.
Love,
Eva
I put the letter on the floor, on top of the other one. That was… something. I never expected Stratt, of all people, to be so sentimental. And that she‘d be into Ilyukhina, out of everyone on this planet… They seem like a pretty odd couple. But I guess opposites really do attract.
I make my way through the other letters in the box, mostly skimming to see what they‘re about and sorting them into two piles of „Read later“ and „Do not read. I don‘t even want to touch these ever again.“.
The latter only includes two letters, but after looking at them, I‘m left with very uncomfortable pictures in my head.
Having to deal with the thought of one of my crewmates and my boss doing it wasn‘t necessarily something I expected, but here we are.
The last of the many letters catches my eye. It‘s written in a different handwriting. I pick it up and read.
Dear Eva,
it‘s still hard to imagine that this will be my last letter to you. I‘m writing this just an hour or so before takeoff.
I know it might seem a little bit weird to you that I‘m going through the effort of writing this letter, just to scan it and put it on the beetles‘ USB sticks, but I wanted my last letter to you to be handwritten, like all of the others before it. And I‘m putting it on the beetles because in twenty-six years, when they come back (That is crazy, right? Such a long time!), you will probably have forgotten about me, and I hope that you can read this letter and remember the wonderful time we had together. And when you read this, don‘t be too sad, because I‘m sure I will have a great time with the heroin your team managed to get for me.
Oh, and thank you for your perfume. When I do go to overdose, I will put it on, so I can die thinking of you. And maybe it is weird of me to think this way, but I feel like by putting on your perfume, we can be connected somehow, even though I will be far out in space.
I‘m sure I will miss you when I‘m out there. I hope you miss me too, at least a little bit.
Love,
Olesya
I put the letter to the side. She never did have the chance to put on the perfume.
But I can‘t dwell on the thought for too long before I hear Rocky yelling. Shoot. I told him I‘d be gone for ten minutes or so at most, and now I don‘t even remember how long it‘s been.
Roughly thirteen years later, the woman who used to be the most powerful person in the world has just recently been released from prison. She sits down with her laptop, waiting for it to boot up in anticipation. When she checks her emails, she sees that she‘s been sent the data retrieved from the beetles, along with a report.
One of the files reads „To Eva Stratt - DO NOT OPEN“.
Eva Stratt smiles. Olesya had never been particularly proud of her romantic, sentimental side. Eva doesn’t know why. She thought it was cute.
She opens the file and reads through the letter.
When she‘s done, she looks to the framed photo on the wall of her with the Hail Mary crew. Olesya and her are standing side by side, and she remembers that they were secretly holding hands while it was taken, which somehow went unnoticed by the rest of the crew.
„Of course I miss you, Olesya.“
And she looks out at the stars.