Chapter Text
Cheng Xiaoshi is having a jolly old time at karaoke until Xu Shanshan decides to open her loud, drunk mouth.
Or, well, more specifically, it's Qiao Ling, his very own childhood friend (and basically sister at this point), who leads him to his doom. Cheng Xiaoshi would be happy living the rest of his life without this information, but no, the two girls decide to curse him with the greatest sin of all: knowledge.
They're talking about Xu Shanshan and Dong Yi. Or, well, Qiao Ling is. Cheng Xiaoshi stopped after the first five minutes, and Lu Guang betrayed him by coming down with an illness of some sort and spending the day in bed at the studio.
When the conversation begins to shift, Cheng Xiaoshi is the most relieved man on the planet.
Until--
"Cheng Xiaoshi, don't be rude--come talk to Xu Shanshan and Dong Yi! Stop eating!" Qiao Ling chastises, "And don't get hungover! I'm still expecting you to work tomorrow."
...
He knew it was a bad idea sticking by the back table, away from the karaoke lights and social chatter.
"Euuuughhh, I'm paying attention, Qiao Ling," Cheng Xiaoshi groans, "But surely their relationship drama can't be that entertaining!"
"Ehh, Cheng Xiaoshi!" Qiao Ling cries, "Show some respect!"
Without hesitation, Xu Shanshan shoots back, "Hey, get your relationship under control before chastising mine!"
Maybe, on another day, Cheng Xiaoshi would've ignored it. No, actually--on another day, or time, or place, or anything, he would've thought she was referring to his empty love life.
But Dong Yi and Qiao Ling seem to silence themselves.
There's a moment of hesitation before Dong Yi says, quietly, "Xu Shanshan..."
"You know I'm right-" Xu Shanshan starts to murmur.
It clicks in Cheng Xiaoshi's brain. All the alcohol must be helping him get some kind of...neuron activation? He doesn't really know how it works. That's an area of knowledge he calls Lu Guang Knowledge: knowledge that he is convinced only Lu Guang has the intelligence and patience to hold.
"Hey..." Cheng Xiaoshi mulls it over. "What relationship?!"
"No relationship," Qiao Ling says, quick as a whip.
Suspicious, but he brushes it off.
Or, well (again, Xu Shanshan ruins everything).
He would've.
If someone didn't go: "With Lu Guang, no?"
"Huh," Cheng Xiaoshi says.
"Shit," Qiao Ling faintly mumbles.
"Oh," Dong Yi can only say.
"In Need of a Refreshment? Tap Here!" exclaims the computer.
Xu Shanshan lets out a lengthy groan. "Oh, come on, don't tell me you two aren't together yet!"
"Together?" Cheng Xiaoshi asks, "Why would we be together? We're best friends! We've been so for years! Man, old age is really getting to ya-"
"Okay, uhm, I think we should stop--" Qiao Ling attempts at a chance of peace.
"C'mon," Xu Shanshan says, "You're both so obsessed over each other."
"Xu Shanshan," Dong Yi squeezes her hand, "Maybe we should start singing-"
"Hold on, what?!" Cheng Xiaoshi very rightfully cries, "No way! You're crazy! I don't even think of Lu Guang like that-"
This time, he can even hear Qiao Ling scoff "sure" under her breath.
"-and he most definitely doesn't think that way about me!"
"Are you stupid?!" Xu Shanshan's looking at him like he's crazy. "Lu Guang's head over heels in love with you! And you-"
"WHAT?!" Cheng Xiaoshi is definitely shouting now, but WHAT. "I seriously think we should take you to the doctor! What nonsense are you spurring?! I'm starting to get worried, Xu Shanshan-"
And curse his fucking observation skills, because he realizes no one else is talking.
Maybe this would be normal, if not for the way Qiao Ling and Dong Yi stare at one another as if another world disaster had just taken place.
"...Lu Guang likes me?" Cheng Xiaoshi cringes as he says it. He feels the squirming feeling in his stomach, a sudden, mild lightheadedness overtaking him. "No. No way."
"I just said that! Are you deaf?!"
(Oh, god.
His best friend likes him--)
"We should get going," Dong Yi weakly mutters.
(--Lu Guang, his best friend--)
"It was nice seeing you," Qiao Ling says, glancing at the still Cheng Xiaoshi.
(--who is stoic but kind and deserves the world--)
"Cheng Xiaoshi!" Qiao Ling yells.
(--who is beautiful and so, so good--)
"Yeah, yeah," he says, "Bye-bye, Dong Yi. Bye-bye, Xu Shanshan."
(--who deserves the world,
and likes someone who doesn't like him back.)
They're walking back to the studio.
"Really, don't think too much about it," Qiao Ling rambles, "she was drunk, spitting nonsense, really-"
"Qiao Ling," Cheng Xiaoshi asks, he has to, "Does...Does Lu Guang actually like me?"
Qiao Ling pauses. She looks at him.
They know each other inside and out. They are siblings, but not in the biological or technical sense. They're family. She was the one who held him as he cried, when that earthquake struck and his parents disappeared. She was the one who read him comics when he wanted to stay in his room and do nothing. She was the one who dragged his ass back to school and hugged him when he grieved.
She sees through his bullshit.
He sees through hers.
"No," Qiao Ling says.
He keeps staring.
Almost defeatedly, Qiao Ling looks away, mutters a curse, and confirms, "Yeah. Yeah, he does."
"Cheng Xiaoshi," Qiao Ling says, her voice exasperated, "What are you doing?"
"I'm telling you," Cheng Xiaoshi hisses, "It's gonna work."
He thinks this list just might be his life's work, if he's being honest.
How To Make Your Best Friend's Crush On You Disappear in 10 Easy Steps [WORKING TITLE]
By Cheng Xiaoshi
STEP 1: act super weird around him? but no what if he likes that something SUPER genius here
STEP 2: Lu Guang HATES sweet things, so I just have to BE a sweet thing
It's a work in progress, he'll admit, but it's going to be a foolproof plan. He tells Qiao Ling this.
She scoffs, "I mean, if you can come up with actual steps, maybe."
"What's with the noise?"
Cheng Xiaoshi almost rips the paper in half as he stuffs it under his shirt.
Lu Guang, standing in the open doorway, rubs his eyes. He looks like a cat, like this. His hair is all mussed up and his movements are sloggy, yet he has that cuteness a cat has when they're lazing about in the early daylight.
"Lu Guang! You're up!" Qiao Ling claps, "Are you feeling better?"
"Yes," Lu Guang says, combing his hair back, "I think it was just a cold."
"That's great, Lu Guang!" Cheng Xiaoshi smiles, "Haha!"
Qiao Ling and Lu Guang turn to stare at him.
"What's wrong with you today?" Qiao Ling asks, fully knowing what is wrong with him.
Lu Guang just stares, eyes narrowed, and asks, "What's under your shirt?"
Okay. All is fine. All is good. All is fine-
"Nothing!" Cheng Xiaoshi grins, totally inconspicuous and believable.
It does not work.
"Cheng Xiaoshi," Lu Guang says, "What is under your shirt."
Qiao Ling, the traitorous bastard she is, stays quiet, looking between them and holding back a giggle.
"Nothing," Cheng Xiaoshi hisses.
Lu Guang's eyes narrow. He blinks. He turns to Qiao Ling.
While Lu Guang turns away, Cheng Xiaoshi does what will dispose of the evidence quickly and quietly: he stuffs the thing in his mouth.
"What," Lu Guang says, soft and strict, exasperated and tired, "What are you doing, Cheng Xiaoshi. Why are you--why are you chewing on paper."
Maybe Xu Shanshan was lying and Qiao Ling's in on it. This is just Lu Guang. He doesn't like Cheng Xiaoshi! That's preposterous!
"N'thing," Cheng Xiaoshi says around the paper. If he pretends it's like gum, he can actually imagine it tastes okay. Eating paper doesn't have long-term health defects, does it?
Cheng Xiaoshi thinks that Lu Guang might yell. He might sigh and turn away again. He might scoff and say, "Stop being weird."
Instead, there's an upturn of Lu Guang's lips, a pretty thing on his pretty face. He smiles, so small Cheng Xiaoshi bets he can't even feel it on himself, but he sees it anyway because he's so laser-focused on his mouth.
He turns away and he smiles, and he says, fondly, "Really, Cheng Xiaoshi, what will we do with you."
Absently, as the paper dissolves in his mouth, dried graphite fading away, Cheng Xiaoshi thinks, FUCK.
Search: how do I get someone to stop liking me?
"Be direct with them?!" Cheng Xiaoshi cries out, "What kind of advice is that?!"
Cheng Xiaoshi has no doubt Lu Guang would continue to treat him like normal, the ethereal being he is, but Cheng Xiaoshi can't just leave a giant hole in his heart! He needs the un-liking process to go smoothly. He needs Lu Guang to fall out of love on his own, rather than a rejection.
"Cheng Xiaoshi," Qiao Ling mutters, "your heart is too big."
"It's the only right way!" Cheng Xiaoshi says, "I can't just go up to him and reject him just like that! What if he leaves me forever?! What will I do?!"
Sometimes even he is surprised by his own genius and foresight. The Cheng Xiaoshi of last year might've done just that, but the Cheng Xiaoshi of this year knows that Lu Guang is indispensable, so he must think clearly.
Qiao Ling shakes her head. "Well, you better stop your research before Lu Guang comes back and walks in on...this."
Search History
best friend crush
does my best friend like me
what do i do if my best friend likes me
how to make someone fall out of love..like?
how to lose a guy in 10 days
HOW TO DRIVE GUY AWAY WHILE PRESERVING FRIENDSHIP
reddit.com r/relationship advice
how do i get someone to stop liking me
"I don't know what you're talking about," Cheng Xiaoshi scoffs, "I'll just clear the history! You forget my genius, Qiao Ling."
"...your genius," Qiao Ling deadpans. "Your genius is staring back at you in the form of a Reddit post right now. I wouldn't be surprised if you went to even Xiaohongshu for tips, you big airhead."
"...Whaaat?" Cheng Xiaoshi laughs, "I'd never do that."
(...Now he needs to delete his Xiaohongshu history, too...aghhh!!!!)
##
r/relationships · Posted by u/cxs_charles1024 10 hours ago.
my best friend (21M) has a crush on me (21M). how do i get him to stop pls
Relationships
Hey, it's my first post on here!
I've known this guy for a couple of years now, and he's literally one of my like five friends. in fact I'd actually call him my closest friend or best friend because i love him (platonically)
(i'll call him Lulu)
Lulu is very attractive. He is all that you would want in a guy. He's nice, chill, cool, and kind, and very easy on the eyes. At first he appears kind of stoic, but if you really read into it, you can find that he expresses all his emotions as long as you know where to look. He doesn't smile much, but when he does, it's an amazing sight.
Anyways, this guy likes me. Like, I like me, but he's like...you know, has a crush on me, apparently???? and I'm like What
I don't like him back, but I don't want to hurt his feelings and potentially waste and throw away our friendship.
Also, we own a photoshop together with my sister-figure. So if he gets mad then my work life will also get rocky. But also the friendship. The friendship is my main concern. PLS help. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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how do i celear my search history
While Cheng Xiaoshi waits for his Reddit post to gain traction, he tries to come up with a new list.
It has to be perfect---their friendship has to persist. Cheng Xiaoshi can't lose Lu Guang. It isn't even about the photo-traveling side jobs that can change the course of time itself, or his actual work in the photoshop. It's just---them. He can't lose Lu Guang's unamused drawl, or slight smile, or quiet laugh. He can't lose the lower timber of his voice when he's tired or his soft breaths as he sleeps.
So he'll put his all into the plan, and Lu Guang will fall out of love, and nothing, absolutely nothing, will go wrong.