Chapter Text
Secret Spy Club
2:12 PM
alyosha: can i have my dog back
alyosha: i know one of you fuckers took him
mitya: it WASNT me this time
alyosha: if vodyanitsa wasn’t here i wouldn’t believe you
vodyanitsa: WHAT HEY
vodyanitsa: how do you know you didn’t just lose him
odette: vodya please
odette: i’m not deaf i could literally hear him
vodyanitsa: HEY
vodyanitsa: DO YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF LOYALTY
odette: i don’t want to take the fall for administration finding out about alyoshas dog
odette: that’s his risk to take
mitya: she said DONT involve me
alyosha: can i please have him back
vodyanitsa: but
vodyanitsa: (´･ω･`)
vodyanitsa: i love him
alyosha: don’t you literally have a copy of my key?
alyosha: you can come visit him whenever i do not care
mitya: BRO
mitya: what about me????
alyosha: again don’t you have a key
alyosha: in fact i’m pretty sure ALL of you have keys.
alyosha: which i have no recollection of giving to you but i don’t question it bc i don’t really wanna know
odette: there are things you don’t need to know
alyosha: case in point
mitya: well that wasn’t ominous AT ALL!
vodyanitsa: if you give me this power you will never get rid of me just so you know
alyosha: i am aware
alyosha: odette is literally here rn didn’t she give you all keys for a reason?
mitya: why do you just. let us break in to your house???
alyosha: i figured i wasn’t going to be able to stop it
odette: he likes us
vodyanitsa: AWWW LYOSHA!!!!
vodyanitsa: WE LIKE YOU TOO!!!!!
alyosha: ok
——
group message
mitya —> odette, vodyanitsa
2:22 PM
mitya: why do we have a crush on him again?
vodyanitsa: MITYA
odette: it’s part of his charm
mitya: i would argue
mitya: but i am oddly fond of this
——
Secret Spy Club
2:24 PM
alyosha: anyway am i getting my dog back
vodyanitsa: yes we are on our way
vodyanitsa: but we must be Covert so its taking longer
mitya: wait i wanna be included
alyosha: im not stopping you
mitya: SICK
alyosha: fair warning tho i have a friend coming over to meet tugarin
vodyanitsa: YOU HAVE OTHER FRIENDS????
mitya: and you didn’t tell us???
alyosha: am i not allowed to have other friends?
odette: they’re being dramatic, they’re just shocked you decided to talk to a stranger
alyosha: tbf he came up to me
alyosha: he didn’t talk much either but we solved a crime together
alyosha: we are bonded for life now
mitya: well now i have to come meet him
alyosha: he’s cool you’ll all like him
vodyanitsa: EYE will be the judge of that ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
odette: okay vodya 🩷🩷
——
Secret Spy Club
3:56 PM
odette: i think that guy killed my mentor
vodyanitsa: WHAT?!?!?!!?
mitya: hello????
alyosha: what
odette: tbf it wasn’t really his fault and signora was kinda a bitch anyway but still
vodyanitsa: i’m very confused
alyosha: does this mean i can’t be friends w him
odette: nah he’s cool just kinda a funny coincidence don’t you think
vodyanitsa: i think we have very different definitions of humor my love (^_^*)
mitya: i think
mitya: hm
mitya: ummmm
alyosha: any day now
mitya: i don’t remember
mitya: think i blacked out for a second there
alyosha: ????
alyosha: do you have brain damage
mitya: no gods just nerfing me bc i’m so smart
odette: what could that possibly mean?
vodyanitsa: well outside of the mentor thingy i liked your friend lyosha!
odette: how did you say you two met again?
alyosha: busting a gang smuggling ring
mitya: yeah just your average after school hobby
odette: you’re not out busting crime after classes?
vodyanitsa: you’re not out busting crime after classes?
vodyanitsa: omg. odette
vodyanitsa: we should kiss
odette: okay 👍
vodyanitsa: YAY
alyosha: we’re literally all still in this room
odette: and?
alyosha: you are in MY room
vodyanitsa: i can’t believe alyosha hates sapphics
mitya: damn alyosha how could you
alyosha: ??????
odette: no guys he’s just jealous
odette: we just have to kiss him
vodyanitsa: OKAY!!!!
mitya: SAY LESS
alyosha: HELLO?????