Archive of Our Own

Kyle Rayner had never been particularly good at hiding what he felt.

It wasn't that he was incapable of subtlety, especially when the job mattered. He just didn't see the point in pretending. If he's happy, then everyone knew. If he's upset, then he cried. If he's pissed, well you'd know. And if he loved someone, they knew.

Kyle couldn't help but wear his heart on his sleeve.

And perhaps that was a strange thing for someone who had lost as much as Kyle had, who had experienced loss and grief and fear and abandonment.

And yet, he never let any of it stop him from caring.

Maybe that's why he falls in love so easily, because he sees beauty in people so easily. Found something worth loving in them.

And that was why when Jason Todd came to his life, Kyle fell hard.

"Sorry that it's a boring stakeout," Jason shrugged indifferently as he lowered binoculars, both of them hiding in a dark and drenched rooftop for hours now, watching over what Jason suspected alien weapons smuggling down the docks in Crime Alley.

Frustratingly, there had been little activity about that.

Kyle, who had long since powered down, didn't bother to move. He just let out a sigh as he let his back pressed against this AC unit before pulling his knees up. He long stopped caring about the grim and damp soot sinking into his jeans. He wished he could construct an umbrella but the light would unfortunately give their location away.

Jason would probably say Use your ring to warm up, you idiot.

But Kyle's pride would stubbornly insist that he was perfectly capable of enduring a little cold without resorting to his ring like some kind of baby. He's a Green Lantern dammit. He wasn't about to let Jason see him whine about it.

He's definitely going to have a cold after this.

But that was beside the point.

"I can think of worse things happening," Kyle muttered, shivering at the chill. Actually, compared to all the other times of saving sectors, this is a nice change of pace.

And because it's you.

"Though," Kyle continued, side-eying Jason with a smirk. "I gotta admit, I kind of expected…I don't know, more dramatic explosions and gun blazing whenever I'm with you. The usual Red Hood special. Are you losing your touch, Todd?" he added mockingly in the end.

Jason snorted. "In your dreams. Just because I have the ring now, doesn't mean I'm all soft and compliant. "

Kyle scoffed. Jason? Compliant. It would be the end of the world before THAT happened.

"—And for your information, it's called patience, Rayner. Though I guess you space cops would prefer to just to create a giant green and glowing Jaegers to punch away your problems. How hypocritical of you."

Kyle rolled his eyes, feeling something like a soft smile playing on his lips as he looked up at the man. "I'm just saying, at least I bring style—"

"More like a drama queen, asshat," Jason muttered.

Which Kyle pretended not to hear.

Before, those words would have irritated Kyle to no end. But now, after getting know the man better, Kyle had learned that it was just an armor Jason used to keep everyone at arm's length. Now, Jason's prickly words felt less like an attack now and more like a familiar, comforting dance between them—leaving this steady, fond warmth in Kyle's chest.

"But I guess since you invited me here," Kyle continued, leaning his head back against the damp brick with an easy smirk. "the least you could do is admit that you just missed my lovely company. Admit it, Todd."

The Star Sapphire didn't even turn his head, eyes glued to his binoculars, "Rayner, I brought you here because you were the only Lantern dumb enough to answer my call at two in the fucking morning. I can't believe I forgot you were this whiny of a company."

"How brutal," Kyle deadpanned, bringing a hand to his chest dramatically. "And here I thought we were having a moment."

"A moment in this freezing rain and smog while we're freezing our asses off?" Jason said, unimpressed.

"Isn't that normal in Gotham standards?" He hummed, shifting a bit as his legs started to sleep. "But hey, misery builds character as they say."

"You are adding misery to my life," Jason grumbled.

"And yet you keep inviting me along," Kyle fired back with a cheeky wink, not that it mattered since Jason wasn't looking.

Jason let out a small exhale, with a regret and pained look crossing on his face that said he's questioning every decision that had led him here. "Not like I have a choice in that department."

Kyle, undeterred, just said, "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"Shut up, Rayner. At the rate you're talking, our cover would be blown. I might as well test your reflexes if I pushed you off a ten story drop. See how you survive that."

Kyle laughed at the empty threat. "You won't drop me. Who else is going to listen to you complain about Hemingway's 'The Old Man and the Sea'?"

"Simon?" Jason said dryly, not missing a beat.

He rolled his eyes with fond exasperation as he shot back, "Simon would just fall asleep before you could open your mouth," Then with a small nudge at Jason's boot with his own soaked sneakers. "Besides, he doesn't have my refined artistic taste."

"What artistic taste?" he muttered. "Compared to you, he would be a saint to have. Someone who doesn't talk on what is supposed to be a stealth operation. A concept that your declining faculties seem to forget. Maybe you need to take it easy."

"Ouch. And here I thought my artistic commentary on character motivation was bringing color to your dreary and dull life," Kyle grinned, and he could practically sense the man's massive eye roll from here.

"My life was already colorful before your pleasant company," Jason said sarcastically, though Kyle noticed his tone lacked any real bite.

He could feel himself leaning into the man's direction, looking up at Jason with an exaggerated and cocky grin that only seemed to come out when going toe-to-toe with the most stubborn bastard on this planet.

Jase has a way of bringing out this side of me, he mused.

"Careful, Red," Kyle purred, eyes gleaming. "You know what they say about artist looking for a muse. And I've always had a weakness for pretty things."

Finally, the man looked down at him, eyebrows raised. "Not really a Red anymore, remember?"

"But according to color theory, pink is just a desaturated and lighter tone of red," Kyle said, not backing down an inch even though the man had missed the memo. "You can't be a violet or a pink without the color red. Hence why you're my favorite red."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Because the alternative is a raging Red Lantern ? What a very low bar." Before returning back to look at their targets. Totally missing his point.

Unbelievable, Kyle huffed.

"That would imply there are other choices, but there's only ever been you," and the words came out more earnest than he'd intended.

Thankfully (or maybe not), Jason didn't seem to notice it. His posture remained rigid and eyes too focused on the warehouse below them as the silence stretched between them.

Kyle could feel the cocky smile slowly fading, replaced by this quiet, stinging ache in his chest now. All that false bravado evaporating, leaving him raw and painfully exposed.

For a second, doubt crept in. If Jase really doesn't know or if this is his way of letting me down gently.

But he would have just told me to fuck off, right?

Kyle swallowed the knot in his throat and wisely kept his mouth shut before he could put his foot any further.

Whatever. Jay asked for his help as a lantern. They've got a job to do.

So he forced himself to get his mind back to the game, pushing away his wet hair plastered against his forehead.

"Anything?"

Jason shook his head. "Nothing. No trucks or crates coming in." Frustrated.

"How miserable."

Suddenly, Jason reached into something and pulled out a onigiri—from where? Kyle's baffled mind wondered—before it was shoved into Kyle's hand without looking at him. Thankfully, it stopped raining at some point during their conversation. "For Pete's sake, eat. You look like a drowned rat, Rayner. It's pathetic."

Kyle stared at the Japanese riceball, still warm, then at Jason's stoic profile. He must have taken the time to make before this. The realization settled somewhere warm beneath his ribs that not even the rain could erase.

He took a small bite, tasting the seasoned rice with a savory smell and crunch from the seaweed. So simple and so utterly Jay. He could feel the corner of his mouth twitching upward. "Thanks, Jase."

"Don't get used to it," Jason grunted, not realizing the impact of his small gesture because of course he was. The kind of thoughtfulness disguised as an insult that made Kyle's heart flutter. And damn it, it was these kinds of moments that always reminded Kyle why he had fallen so hard in the first place.

"Target is hours late," Star Sapphire continued. "If they don't show up in five, we're breaking into the warehouse and setting fire to their inventory. I don't care if B throws a hissy fit. We're doing it."

Kyle snorted before taking another bite. "Now that's the kind of direct action I can get behind and expect coming from you.'

"Hypocrite. You love me for it." Jason calling him out, yet the fondness was there.

That I do.

And that was Kyle's curse to live with.

The ache that existed in his chest was still there, not even Kyle Rayner could pretend all he liked that it didn't exist.

But standing here, shoulder to shoulder, with Jason in this freezing rain, right in this quiet moment while eating an onigiri that Jason had apparently made just for him…

Well, that heavy and suffocating doubt he'd felt earlier was a little more bearable.

"I can't help it," Kyle murmured, more to himself than Jason. "You're just very inspiring." You draw my attention whether I like it or not. It's always been that way ever since that multiversal trip.

He heard Jason snort next to him, "For an artist, sure."

Kyle glanced over at the sound, just in time to see Jason adjusting his position. The movement pulled the fabric of his Star Sapphire uniform taut across his shoulders, the vivid red-violet such a contrast against this intense gloomy night. The suit traced hard lines of muscles, and it didn't help that, in a certain light, Kyle could see rain droplets glistening against Jason's bare skin whenever he shifted his weight.

Kyle’s eyes hovered over the view for a second too long, his artist's brain automatically tracking the contours and the light and shadow of it, before he forced himself to look back up at the dark sky. His face flushed.

He cleared his throat and turned his attention back to the warehouse. Don't focus on his uniform. Don't focus on his uniform. He refused to be like others who'd shamelessly stared when Jason first became a Star Sapphire.

Though, in Kyle's defense, the suit really did suit Jase.

Jason certainly brought a different kind of presence, an ethereal violet glow against his rough edges. So beautifully wrapped in contradiction yet so striking, and so Jason. It fit him like a glove, better than that stupid black cowl he'd wore in their multiverse travel. There's an ease to him now that Kyle hadn't seen before, like Jason had finally found some kind of center, something solid. A steadiness that he hadn't known Jay was capable of.

And Kyle, who was once a White Lantern and master of all colors of the emotional spectrum, couldn't help but admire—and envy—him.

Maybe that was what had caught Kyle's attention in the first place. Not the suit itself, but the aura Jason seemed to radiate. The confidence, this sense of strength and assurance.

Like he belonged in it.

"Finally!"

Kyle blinked, mind rebooting, before immediately snapping his attention toward the docks and sure enough, he could see the truck rolling toward the warehouse.

Both lanterns entire demeanor immediately shifted into laser sharp focus.

"Let's see what they're so damn protective off," Jason growled, his violet ring giving a faint pulse. Something dangerous hung in the air.

Kyle could only nod, priorities shifted. "Let's get this done."

"—And then Hal landed on King Xerenilion's shoulder, in the middle of a ceremony!" Guy said with absolute delight, nearly smacking his hand on Hal's face who was grinning at the tale lightheartedly.

Kyle smiled faintly, shaking his head as he watched Guy launched into an obvious yet exaggerated retelling of their last mission.

He took a sip of his drink before letting his eyes wander around the bar, letting the music and chatter become a background noise as he watched his fellow colleagues laugh and get even more drunk.

It's times like this that reminded Kyle why he'd stayed and why'd kept going.

The kind of torch that I carried.

Against his will, flashes of familiar faces he had lost, memories flickering through his mind before settling into the familiar ache in his chest

Before his brain could process it, his hands were already reaching for a napkin, pulling out a pencil from his pocket and letting his hand guide him instinctively, the sketch had a few loose lines, nothing decipherable yet, but the familiar motion was comforting. He began putting the gutters between them to separate these small moments. Like little snapshots safely locked behind these panels.

Kyle smiled to himself, keeping only light pressure on the strokes.

And the shape started to become familiar to him as it take a form. The lines coming in so slow that it took a while for Kyle to realize what he was looking at. Or rather who.

That familiar nose. That familiar jawline. And that messy dark hair falling over his forehead.

The pencil paused mid-air as Kyle blankly stared at the half-finished sketch of Jason Todd in front of him.

He resisted the urge to bury his face on his arm and groan. Fuck. It had only been two months since Jason Todd had become a Star Sapphire.

And Kyle's still not sure what to make of this man he used to hate in the past.

When Carol had called him up a few weeks ago, she'd asked him a favor, if he could partner up with the latest Star Sapphire for a mission dealing with a peace treaty on Leasitye. And maybe, Kyle could hopefully show Jason the ropes. After all, Kyle had the experience wielding a violet ring in the past and he was the best Lantern.

Kyle remembered balking at the idea. He remembered complaining loudly to Guy about it, so sure that he would see that familiar arrogant and hotheaded asshole Jason fucking Todd he'd spent butting heads with during their dimensional travels. Who seemed to take cruel delight in pushing Kyle's buttons and questioning him at every turn, and never giving him a fucking break. God it would have been so easy to drop that little shithead.

But instead, he was met with someone quiet. Not meek or subdue, but just quiet.

Kyle remembered waiting for the shoe to drop during the debrief. He remembered waiting for "hahaha. Sike!" moment when they flew to Leasitye, expecting some elaborate prank from the man. Kyle had braced for the barb insults and mocking taunts that had made Kyle lose his cool more times than he cared to admit.

But even though Kyle didn't like the guy, he of all people knew personal grudges shouldn't get in the way of Corps business, even though they were different colors, Jason was still a lantern whether Kyle liked it or not.

And if a violet ring, the embodiment of love, had chosen Jason Todd, then that meant there was something worth choosing in that man.

And Kyle liked to think he was mature enough to not let anything petty affect the job.

And if Todd wants to try that shit with me again, then Kyle was going to give as good as he got.

But Jason just…listened.

He observed most of the time, letting Kyle taking the lead with this one. Sometimes, Jason would ask questions when he needed to, some comments there and there that were pretty insightful, enough to make Kyle pause and stare at him in surprise.

Jason gave a bemused look at his stare, "What?"

Kyle would shake his head, realizing that his jaw had actually dropped. "Nothing. Just…helpful. I didn't notice that. Thanks, Jase."

Then Jason would shoot him a look as if he was crazy, but Kyle could've sworn he saw the corner of his mouth twitching upward in amusement.

Though there were a few times Jason had to step in the negotiations himself. And Kyle, curious of his partner's plan, decided to let him. And was pleasantly surprised when both parties began murmuring in agreement.

Kyle's eyes would met Jason's across the table.

And Jason smiled at him, looking pleased. Violet light shining faintly in his eyes.

So unlike the Jason Todd he knew.

After that successful treaty but before leaving the planet, Kyle found himself offering a few pointers of using the ring, and a few tricks he'd picked up over the years as a Lantern.

"Really?" Surprised eyes met his, like Jason hadn't expected Kyle to offer.

"Really," he nodded. Then, almost grudgingly and reluctantly, "You're not that bad. For a Star Sapphire."

The violet lantern stared at him before a hesitant smile slowly came to his face, his features softening in a way that Kyle hadn't expected that made Jason looked few years younger.

After a few spars, Kyle remember laying on the field of strange plants beside Jason, both of them staring at the pink and purple alien sky in front of them, and just…talking.

So easily. So casual. Like two old friends catching up after years of not seeing each other.

"I don't know why it's hard for me," Jason later admitted to him, staring at his violet ring. And for a few seconds, Kyle saw a flicker of vulnerability behind those eyes. "Sometimes, I feel like an imposter. If I was ever a lantern, I didn't think it would be this. Hell, I didn't even know there were other colors besides Green Lanterns."

Kyle huffed softly at that. "One heck of a surprise."

Jase shot him a half hearted glare before looking back at the ring, knees pulled up to his chest, making him look strangely small.

"But I can't exactly control the feelings I'm getting!" he said, frustration bleeding into his voice. "Sometimes I can see the damn light, but that doesn't mean I know what it's supposed to mean. And when there's a bunch of people around? Forget it. Everything just gets tangled together and I can't always tell what's mine, what's theirs, or who the hell I'm picking it up from!"

Something in Kyle's chest tightened at that. Probably sympathy at Jason's struggle.

It almost made Kyle remember the early days. When he was the only Green Lantern, with no one to guide him, no one to really answer his questions. Just in his tiny old room figuring out how the ring worked, with only Alex doing her best to help him.

His heart ached before pushing that old memory away.

Then Jason peeked at him through his black and white fringes, "When you were a White Lantern, how did you handle the feelings from everyone without being overwhelming?" Eyes hesitating before continuing on, "How do I separate theirs from mine? How do I know what's actually mine?"

Kyle didn't answer immediately.

Instead, he stared at the pink sky, taking as much time to put these feelings into words. His mind drifted to the time when he felt all these godly powers at the palm of his hand. So vast and overwhelming and so invincible…it had scared Kyle shitless of what he could do with that.

Scared of the man he could become with that kind of power in his hands.

Because he hadn't just been dealing with love. Where there was love, then there was grief. Loss and pain. Hope and Fear. Hatred and forgiveness. Greed and Compassion. The willpower to move forward.

If there was life, then there was death.

"I'm sorry, Kyle," Mom whispered to him, cupping his cheek.

Sometimes, he didn't know where Kyle Rayner ended and everything else began. It had felt like a different person behind the front wheel.

"I don't know if I ever really did," Kyle found himself admitting to that. Something he wasn't sure sure he had ever shared to other Lanterns about his emotional baggage.

In the corner of his eye, he could see Jason glancing at him curiously.

Kyle shrugged, because if he didn't look at him, then that meant it felt less real, right? "Whatever color you are, it's just…learning to recognize yourself, I guess. Parts of you that didn't know you have. Thoughts, feelings, or your choices. I guess it's just a matter of discovering yourself and not letting others dictate who you are."

And accepting that every emotion is a good thing.

"Emotions are like a noise, Jason. But…you have to learn to listen for yourself underneath all that noise."

Jason frowned at him. "And if you still can't tell?"

"Then you wait," Kyle bluntly said. "Familiarize it yourself. Experience it."

He could feel the cocked eyebrow sending in his way. The Green Lantern let out a sigh.

"You might be tempted to act on it because you can feel it. But give it time, and if you still can't find your noise under all that, maybe it is and you just don't know it."

Jason's eyes turned glazed at that, seemingly lost in own experience.

And Kyle suddenly remembered that Jason used to be the second Robin, who died so young, before he could experience the teenage milestones and normalcy. How does one person find themselves when life suddenly cut you off like that?

And from the gossips he'd heard of Red Hood's complicated relationship with the Bats…Kyle didn't think it was the perfect picture of healthy communication.

So Kyle paused, searching for the right words. "Green is about will, right? It's just…a matter of choosing. Not letting fear holding you back, acting in spite of being afraid."

Jason nodded slowly.

Kyle bit his lip for a few moment as his eyes drifted at the violet glow around Jason's finger, considering, "But as a Star Sapphire, you're dealing with love…and love isn't quite like that. It's…"

It's messy. It's complicated. It's not all bright and warm and fuzzy. It's passion. It's selfish and dirty and something always giving and taking. It has the power to bring you up, but also the power to bring you down, to even the darkest places you've ever known. The power to destroy your whole world, changes how you look at people, changes the way you see people's hearts once the canvas is up there.

But Kyle didn't say any of that.

"…You have a choice on what to do with love. But it's something that you can't always choose what you feel."

It's not something you could will it. Love is just is.

"So basically, I'm screwed."

Kyle let out a bark of laughter at the bluntness. Later, once Kyle's back in his room, he would think back to this moment and realize it was the first time he laughed because of Jason.

"Yeah," Kyle felt his mouth stretching upward against his will, funny enough. "Pretty much."

Then his shoulders was knocked to the side.

"Hey!"

Jason was grinning at him almost playful. "Asshole."

"Hey, at least I answered your question!" Kyle protested.

Did it help?

"It's a terrible answer," he shot back, but by the thoughtful expression Jason had, Kyle knew he had given the man a lot to consider.

And he didn't even realize by the time the two suns had disappeared beneath the horizon and both Lanterns ready to leave now, did Kyle realize that he had just spent several hours talking to Jason without even a single urge to strange the man.

Huh, Kyle thought as he stared at the man's back as they flew into space.

Ever since that mission, something had shifted between them. Or rather, Kyle began to see Jason rather differently now.

"And then we got forever banned after that scandal!" Guy's voice suddenly pulled him back to the present.

Kyle blinked as the image of Jason's smile fading, giving way to the familiar sight of Warriors' neon lights, the smell of beer and roar of drunken laughter replacing that quiet moment.

He found himself tucking the tissue into his pocket, almost as if it was sacred, before letting the bitter taste of alcohol hit his tongue as his eyes wandered across room.

And promptly chocked.

Because there he was.

Jason Todd, who was standing by the entrance in civilian clothes, that familiar leather jacket, eyeing the place with open curiosity.

In hindsight, Kyle shouldn't be surprised considering Guy took a liking to Jason, metaphorically taking him under his wing whenever Carol wasn't hovering over her newest protege.

Kyle quickly nudged John aside, "Excuse me."

"Hey! Careful with my drink—"

But Kyle was already sliding out of the booth, the other Lanterns barely noticing him leave, too drunk or invested in Guy's tale.

And when Kyle looked back at Jason, he wasn't remotely surprised to find a few Lanterns already trying to chat up the newest Star Sapphire even though Jase was powered down currently.

Kyle didn't bother holding back the eye roll. Hard.

Trust Todd to always steal someone else's attention without even trying, he thought with exasperation.

But as he got closer, he caught the looks they were giving Jason—more lingering, more appraising, and far too interested. Lecherous, rather.

He felt any amusement and exasperation he had disappeared. His mood instantly soured.

Before he knew it, he found himself sliding next to Jason, who only quirked an eyebrow at him.

"There you are, Jase," the words came tumbling from his mouth, accompanied by a tense, entirely fake grin he used when dealing with irritating negotiators. "I've been waiting for you."

Jason stared at him. "Sureeeee."

One of the Lanterns frowned at them—God. What was his name again?—eyeing at their closeness. "You two together or something?"

Kyle flashed him that usual fake and easy, confident grin that was hopefully convincing .

"I mean, we go waaaay back. Right, Jase?"

He turned his eyes to the man, who must have ordered a drink at some point as the Star Sapphire was casually taking a sip without a care of the world, as if he found the interaction not worth his attention.

"If you could call it that, sure," Jason muttered.

Prick.

"We're partners," Kyle added, resisting the urge to kick his shins for that.

The man probably sensed his hidden desire as Jason gave him a look that screamed what the fuck are you doing?

"Come on, Jase. Guy's probably wondering where his favorite Star Sapphire disappeared to," Kyle insisted.

Kyle heard an exasperated breath beside him, followed by the scrape of Jason getting off his stool. And in a moment of brave stupidity, Kyle grabbed Jason by the wrist and dragged him away from the group of assholes.

Distantly, he noted the warm skin pressed beneath his fingers, the press of a tendon and bone beneath Jason's skin, a sensation that Kyle was absurdly aware of, and something in his chest gave a strange, quiet pull at that.

So as usual, he ignored it.

"I didn't need help," Jason hissed once they were far away enough.

Of course Kyle knew that. The man would probably deck Kyle in the face if he ever suggested otherwise. The last thing Jason Todd needed was someone swooping in to play hero for him.

But honestly, it was more for Kyle's benefit than Jason's.

Watching a few of his fellow Lanterns leer at their newest colleague like Jason was some kind of prize to be won had given Kyle a severe case of secondhand embarrassment, their looks rubbing Kyle the wrong way to the point it had set his teeth on the edge. Are they out of their mind? This is unbecoming behavior of a Green Lantern. Really.

And, as a decent human being with at least a shred of dignity, Kyle had merely done what anyone would do when presented with a group of horny assholes bothering someone he—

Nope. Not going there.

"I know you can take care of yourself," Kyle said genuinely, realizing he'd never actually answered Jason.

He did. He knew that better than most. It just..pissed him off, more than it probably should have, now that Kyle thought of it.

Maybe that was why the words slipped out before he could think better of them. "Guys like you should come with a warning," Kyle muttered.

Jason scoffed at him. "Why? Because I'm such a bad influence."

Kyle glanced back, catching the bitterness in his voice.

He's not sure how to answer that, so he fell into the familiar exchange of insults, "Yeah. Bad for me. You make me do stupid shit."

"Pretty sure that's a you problem," Jason rolled his eyes, shoulders easing at the bickering settled between them. Bitterness forgotten. "You were already doing stupid things before I came along." then Jason smirked, mischief sparking in his eyes, and oh god, that sent heart palpitations. "Donna shared a few stories with me about your disaster stints."

Kyle grimaced.

And as Jason cackled at his misery, Kyle could feel something spark in his chest. Maybe it was the competitive streak in him, the part that simply refused to let Jason have the last word.

Motherfucker.

Whatever it was, Kyle found himself stopping mid-step to face him. His eyes were daring, almost challenging, as he closed the distance between them until they were nearly face to face.

Kyle leaned closer, grin sharpening at the wide-eyed look that crossed Jason's face, their noses almost touching. "You haven't known me long enough to start thinking you can read me," he said, almost purring.

"I've heard enough," Jason bit back, glaring.

He felt his mouth tug into a smirk. "Then you're gonna have to stick around for the rest."

Jason's face flushed in red. A delightful shade of red that Kyle would one day remember well enough to recreate on paper, alone in the privacy of his room.

Satisfied hat he'd finally gotten the last word (and the reaction), Kyle turned around—

—and he could feel his expression faltering, stopping dead at the sight of Guy and Hal staring at them with their mouths hanging open in shock. And it didn't help that the rest of the Lanterns in the booth weren't doing much better.

Oh. Kyle could feel his own cheeks heating now. Embarrassed.

Guy slowly looked between him and Jason.

"…what just happened?" he said faintly.

And it wasn't just that.

More of that happened after that. Against his will, Kyle would like to add. But most of the time, Kyle barely noticed he's doing it.

And he found himself enjoying their arguments in a way he never had. Not the kind that left Kyle wanting to punch Jason's stupid face before—though that never entirely goes away unfortunately—but something lighter. Playful. And…daring, in a way that pushed boundaries just to see how Jason reacted. This back and forth that left him oddly energized. A tension to it. A spark that he couldn't name.

Kyle couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

Until, one day, he caught himself leaning closer, smiling at Jason in that particular way, and realized—

Oh.

I have been flirting with Jason Todd, Kyle realized.

Shit.

You would think, after the whole realization, Kyle would spend a lot of time in denial.

But after learning that piece of information, he just…accepted it.

Love is just is. You can only choose what to do with it.

So once he knew that, Kyle started paying closer attention to Jason. Not obsessively. Nuh-uh. Just... more aware of his growing feelings for the man.

And Kyle started to take note of the man. Eyes lingering and mentally taking note of his little quirks and habits and expressions. That dorky grin that Kyle secretly adored.

He hadn't realized it before, but Jason's face was mesmerizing to look at. Sure, Kyle had sketched him before, but now it's as if he's seeing him for the first time. Those sharp, angular features and that stubborn jawline that itched a part of Kyle's artistic brain, and that distinctive streak of white hair resting against dark, unruly locks that makes Kyle want to playfully tug or run his fingers through it.

And his eyes…

They aren't just blue, Kyle realized in almost amazement. He didn't think even color theory could name this particular shade. They were a violent collision of deep ocean tones tempered by cool and muted greens and gold. So murky and shifting, depending on Jason's mood.

It would probably take a hundred dollars' worth of paint and an embarrassing amount of trial and error to capture them properly, Kyle mused as he stared at the sketch of the man.

And that was more or less how the next few months went.

Kyle blatantly flirting him, taking every opportunity to tease him, lingering close in his space and sometimes throwing in an occasional compliment just to see that familiar shade of red creeping on the Star Sapphire's face.

And every time Jason sputtered or rolled his eyes or cursed something under his breath questioning why he hung around this Glowstick, Kyle took it as confirmation that it was working.

Even though Jason never seemed to know what to do with any of it, but Kyle figured that was half the fun. Surely his intentions were obvious by now.

Surely the man whose entire emotional spectrum power set that was based on love can recognize flirting.

Unfortunately, Kyle had forgotten that Jason Todd could be spectacularly oblivious when it came to himself.

"For a Star Sapphire, I'm amazed that you're oblivious." After how many attempts.

Jason blankly stared at him before saying, "Oblivious to what?"

Kyle could feel his mouth open, then close. He resisted the urge to drag a hand through his hair and simply just said, "Exactly."

It really was impressive, because Kyle would think with the violet ring, Jason must know that Kyle had feelings for him. Hell, Kyle didn't think he could hide it even if he tried; he was down so bad for the guy that even the entire Corps knew (Kyle had a sneaking suspicion Guy was the reason why the Corps had started taking bets on when Jason Todd would figure it out).

At this point, Kyle was pretty sure even the other Star Sapphires and half the JL knew that Torchbearer had a crush on the latest Star Sapphire. It was common knowledge to the point even Hal only gave him a sympathetic pat on the back after listening to Kyle whine in utter misery over Jason Todd.

This isn't like any of the mangas I've read, Kyle thought in absolute despair.

Because he didn't think facing a real life version of densetsu was actually a pain in the ass. He thought it would be beautiful, romantic, and memorable—the sort of once-in-a-lifetime encounter that deserved to be captured in every single sketchbook Kyle owned. That when the person he loved finally looked at him and understood, after going through some stupid build-up plot moment—well, it would be magical, where everything finally fell into place, the kind of fantasy his younger self would have kill for.

But instead, he's stuck with a human-shaped and an earth-shattering punching bag in the name of Jason Todd who has the emotional awareness of a brick. So infuriating, so impossible and so painfully perfect—

Fuck. Kyle really hated this.

"Shit, shit, shit," Kyle cursed to himself as the papers slipped from his arms, scattering across the pavement just as the rain came pouring down.

Fuck me. He hadn't even brought an umbrella with him.

So he scrambled to his knees, desperately trying to gather the pages before it was all ruined. "Come on, come on, please don't do this to me—"

And suddenly, the rain stopped, and a shadow fell over him.

Kyle looked up.

Jason Todd looking down at him, eyebrows raised. His hand holding an umbrella above them, while the other hand was already reaching down to help him gather the rest.

"You do realize you could just construct an umbrella, right?" Jason said pointedly, handing him the soaked but at least salvageable sheet.

Kyle just glared at him, snatching it from hm, "You do realize I was a little busy panicking? And not exactly a Lantern at the moment."

Jason peered at the papers as if just noticing it, "These look good."

His irritation faltered, heart fluttering at the compliment. "Really?"

"Yeah. The kind I would go to a gallery for," Jason nodded as he adjusted the umbrella, angling it more toward Kyle's scattered pages to keep every last one of them shielded from the rain.

And for all his grouching, Jason was being surprisingly careful with something that mattered to him.

Kyle's heart gave a traitorous little squeeze at that.

He found himself beaming at the man, the two of them huddled together under the umbrella. "So, what are you doing here in New York?" And Kyle didn't think he could stop the warmth from his voice.

Jason shrugged indifferent as they started walking down the street together, oblivious to Kyle greedily seeking his warmth through every brush of their arms, "Carol. Said I needed to get out more and remember I have a life outside the corps shit."

Kyle snorted. "Workaholic," the word came out fondly as Jason gave him a half-hearted glare. "And you decided New York is the best place to start?"

Jason tensed, eyes darkening. "I'm not exactly welcome in Gotham."

Right.

He mentally kicked himself for that. So much for that.

So he wisely changed the subject. "Thanks for the save," he said, nodding at the papers.

Jason only gave him a side-eye like it was weird for Kyle to thank him. "Whatever," he said it briskly, almost uncomfortable as if not used to people thanking him.

Kyle laughed softly, hugging the last of his sketches against his chest.

It was maddening, and driving Kyle insane to the point of gasping in the middle of the night because all his mind could picture was him, the person who Kyle once claimed 'his angst ridden bad boy routine never fails'. Because it certainly hadn't failed on Kyle Rayner, once he'd finally gotten his head out of his ass when he'd realized that Jason had never been hitting on Donna during their multiversal travel at all—Jason was just being an asshole who took too much delight on riling up Kyle's nerves.

Which, in retrospect, was somehow worse.

This annoying bastard, with all the scars and sharp edges and anger and concrete walls that would drive anyone insane. Even Kyle, who was generally a nice person, was unfortunately not immune to that because Jason had this infuriating talent to get under Kyle's skin.

It was totally unfair. Kyle was furious that someone who was practically built like a Greek God— this massive prick with a brutal and lethal strength like a tank—could exist.

Who was a walking and breathing contradiction in Kyle's head, paired with a violet light pulsing off his ring that was the embodiment of love. And the Jason Todd in his head didn't scream "love" to Kyle. It didn't belong there. In fact, when Kyle had first heard Jason had been chosen by a Star Sapphire ring, it sparked an outrage in his chest. No siree.

…But Kyle knew better now; he had caught glimpses of it.

That behind all that prickly attitude and violence and blood, there was something unbearably tender and soft wrapped in layers that Jason tried so desperately to hide. And once Kyle had seen it, he couldn't unsee it. Couldn't help but see the way Jason was ridiculously and fiercely loyal to the point Jason would unselfishly throw himself into danger without hesitation for someone he cared about and would later (and aggressively) insist it was nothing. And god, Jason was a nerd. A literature nerd, for christ's sake, who knew that was hiding under those packed muscles with that stupid leather jacket.

(And it didn't help that his artistic brain also couldn't help but visualize it in his head now: the way this man moved when he stood on top of Gotham rooftop with a Star Sapphire suit hugging his absurd frame, all black and vibrant violet, with the sleek cut that left his thighs boldly bare—especially when he squatted, fuck— that made Kyle's brain short-circuit because wow, he privately wished those coconut cracking thighs were wrapped around him.

It was ridiculously unfair, god, Kyle's hand itched for his sketchbook now. Mentally mapping down to the breadth of Jason's broad shoulders that was tapering down into his sharp waist, the ripple and flex of heavy muscle shifting beneath the tight spandex with every move—driving Kyle in pathetic and helpless yearning. And the familiar scars crossing his skin Kyle had memorized and rendered in his head without ever meaning to—)

And Kyle, hopeless idiot that he was, thought it was beautiful. Breathtaking, to the point of insanity.

And he knew, from that moment on, he was doomed.

The universe certainly had a cruel sense of humor.

"You know that sounds exhausting," Jason suddenly spoke up.

Kyle opened his eyes to see the two suns of Leasitye coming down now, painting the sky in royal indigo. He turned his head toward his companion. "…'wha?" he said dumbly; he hadn't realized he had dozed off.

"You said you had to figure out who you were under all that noise," Jason said, and it took a while for Kyle's mind to catch up and register the words. So he pushed himself up onto his elbows before giving his full attention to Jason.

"Guess it's hard to hear yourself when everyone's shouting who they think you should be," Jason continued, eyes fixated on the sky now. His tone wasn't actually quite bitter or angry or sad. Rather, he sounded exhausted and self-defeated. The kind who was too used to trying to prove himself worthy of a legacy while living in someone else's shadow. .

And something about those words resonated deeply in Kyle's chest.

"You're not Hal Jordan."

"You're not good enough."

"Yeah," Kyle said faintly, heart pounding in his ears.

For the first time, Kyle wondered if maybe he and Jason had more in common than either of them realized.

"You know I expect that for a Green Lantern with an indomitable will, you would just confess to the kid," Guy said, tired of listening to Kyle's moaning over his disastrous (or lack of) love life.

Kyle's head shot up to glare at him, something wide-eyed and borderline manic lurking behind his brown eyes.

"YES I DID!"

And wow, he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep at all with the way his hair was pulled in different directions.

Guy squinted at him, dubious, "…did you really?"

"So many times," Kyle gritted out. He even made constructs out of it!

It was apparently not easy to capture Jason Todd's heart.

"Why don't you just kiss him?" Guy said like the solution was obvious. No way that kid would miss that.

If Kyle's eyes could shoot lasers, Guy would've been reduced to ash on the spot.

"This isn't like the movies where I could just kiss someone out of nowhere," Kyle hissed at him, offended. "First of all, I would at least like Jason's consent before anything like that happens. And second of all, I have a feeling Jason would punch the lights out of me if I did something like that."

Guy stared at him in disbelief. "…you do realize you're making this way harder than it needs to be, right?"

Kyle's eyes twitched, almost murderously. "I'm trying to date him, Guy. Not get murdered by him."

"You would like that, wouldn't you."

"GUY!"

"You said you tried to tell him. Is it something along the lines - Hey Jason, I like you and want to date-slash-bang you. Will you go out with me?"

Weeeelllll, not those exact words. But.

"Yes!" Kyle practically screamed at him. "He just laughed at me. And called me an idiot!"

Guy shrugged. "Then I don't know what to tell you, man."

"I just don't understand," Kyle rubbed his face with his hand, frustration making his hair even stick up more. Was he doing something wrong? He thought his actions and words were pretty obvious these past few months.

Normally, he would have given up by now if someone wasn't responding to any of his attempts. He knew when to take a hint.

But Jason was different.

Kyle liked to think he knew Jason a lot better now. He knew the difference between Jason being friendly—well, as friendly as Jason got with people he actually trusted—and whatever the hell this was. The wide-eyed looks. The way Jason refused to back out of his space, almost seeming to seek it. The occasional touches. His stupid laugh. And that crooked smile.

Then there were these little moments when Jason's guard was down, just enough for Kyle to catch glimpses of something softer underneath. Moments that made it increasingly difficult to believe Kyle was imagining any of it.

And Kyle couldn't shake this feeling that there was something between them.

Something real.

"I just wish he would tell me point blank," Kyle dropped himself into a chair with a weary sigh. "If he says no, then okay. Fuck. It would suck but I'd get over it."

Guy raised an eyebrow.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "I mean it. I'm not going to keep pushing if he doesn't want me to. I just want to know." Then he slumped into his chair, "At least then I'd know I tried," he confessed.

His friend stared at him for a long moment before finally saying, "You really are hopeless with this kid, huh?"

Kyle groaned and covered his face again. "Don't remind me."

Someone, who was probably grown tired of this drama, asked Jason point blank.

"What would Kyle have to do to make you realize he's interested in you?"

Jason's first instinct was to groan 'not this again' because he's really tired of this nonsense.

Instead, he said, "I don't know. Probably tell me."

Because Kyle was never afraid to let everyone know what he thinks.

Behind Jason, Kyle could feel his eyes twitching. Internally screaming: I HAVE! Many fucking times you oblivious bastard.

"For someone trained by the World's Greatest Detective, I didn't expect you to not get the memo," was Kyle snarky? Well, sue him. He's been trying for months now. If it were anyone else, Kyle would have given up by now.

But because this walking, talking Adonis with the most gorgeous smile and thighs to die for that had unknowingly had Kyle's heart in his grasp, Kyle unfortunately was truly deep and had fallen hard.

He's probably a masochist at this point.

Jason, oblivious to his inner turmoil and existential crisis, turned to him with eyebrows raised, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

For a second, Kyle was tempted to scream and rage at him, "I like you, dumbass!"

He could've.

He'd already said it before.

But had he really?

But deep down, Kyle was still the hopeless romantic with a questionable amount of patience for this idiot. Because I'm a fucking sucker.

He could almost hear Guy cackling to him.

So Kyle closed his eyes, mentally counting to ten before opening his eyes with something like a half-laugh and strangled sob, "Nothing."

Maybe he was going about this the wrong way.

He thought grand gestures or flirting or their usual bickering would be the best way. Maybe Kyle had gotten too comfortable of being in this safety bubble, as long as he never had to find out what Jason would say, despite Kyle's claims of wanting to know the man's answers.

And Jason had just given him the answer.

Probably tell me.

It was time to have an actual conversation with him. Not in a way that couldn't hide behind the joke. Not in a way that Jason wouldn't fail to misinterpret his intentions this time.

"Jason."

It was only because of that tone that made Jason looked up, curious. "Wassup? You look grim over there."

He expected a sharp retort or maybe a witty remark.

"I need you to listen to me for a few minutes," Kyle said, and there was weight in his words. Something Jason couldn't place.

Jason's brows furrowed as he gave the Green Lantern his full attention. He watched as Kyle's fists were clenched at the sides, almost like he was nervous for whatever shit he was about to say.

"Okayyy?" Jason spread his arms wide, almost mockingly. "I'm all ears."

He watched as Kyle took a deep breath, as if bracing himself.

"I like you."

Seriously? Jason rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know—"

"No. I mean it," Kyle cut him off so quickly that the words died on Jason's tongue. Made the Star Sapphire blinked before really looking at Kyle, taking him in.

Oh. Kyle was serious about this. No cocky grin. No mister smart-ass here. None of that playful insults that Kyle would usually threw at him.

This was Kyle, really trying to share something important to him.

"I don't mean as a friend. I don't mean as your colleague," Kyle's piercing brown eyes locked onto his, like he was making damn sure Jason couldn't misunderstand him this time. "I mean as you, Jason Todd. Romantically."

Jason stilled.

Kyle looked nervous, but only for a second before he seemed to find his resolve, as if he had finally reached the point where he couldn't keep the words inside of him anymore. "I want to take you out, Jase. I want to hold your hand. I want hear your stupid laugh. I want to see you smile for the rest of my life."

Then his gaze softened, so painfully earnest as if Jason was worth yearning for.

"And…I want to see where this goes," Kyle swallowed, not able to hide the vulnerability. "…if you will have me."

Jason just continued to stare at him, speechless.

"And I-I—," Kyle took another breath. "If you don't want that, that's okay. I'll fuck off and get over it eventually. I care about you too much to lose you."

He gave a small, almost helpless laugh, like he couldn't believe he'd actually said all of that out loud, before continuing on:

"But I just want you to know that I like you. And I'm serious about you."

Kyle actually meant it.

Jason continued to stare at him in surprise. He really couldn't help himself as he blurted it out, "Wait, you're serious?"

There was a beat of silence. And maybe a metaphorical sound of a balloon popping off as Kyle's expression turned completely blank, all that softness vanished from his face.

Jason could have sworn Kyle's eyes were twitching.

Then another.

"YES!" Kyle practically exploded, glaring daggers now. "I've been flirting you and coming out with all these excuses just to hang out with you. Fuck. You know I've been drawing you for months. What did you think I was doing?"

Jason blinked.

"You being…you," and wow, that sounded lame even to Jason's ears. Fuck. That was damn stupid thing to say. He's almost embarrassed.

Kyle stared at him as if he had grown a second head, mouth hanging open. As if Jason was the unbelievable one here.

He shrugged because, what else could he do?

"I…didn't think any of it."

Kyle's eyes screamed Are you fucking serious?

For a second, Jason genuinely thought Kyle might strangle him.

"You couldn't tell?" Kyle was throwing his hands up now, more exasperated than angry. "You're a Star Sapphire for how many months now, I think you would've seen a violet light between us."

"I did," he admitted.

Kyle froze, his hands slowly falling to his sides.

And for a moment, neither of them said anything.

It was complete and utter silence as Kyle seemed to struggle to find the words, his mind apparently rebooting.

"You did?" the words came out half-strangled.

"Yeah," Jason shrugged, suddenly uncomfortable at the intensity of his stare.

Well, yeah, Jason had noticed that.

Of course he had.

He'd noticed it the first time when Carol had guided Jason over to Kyle, just before they left for Leasitye. There had been a faintest thread between them, so thin that Jason thought it was just his eyes playing tricks on him. After all, he was still new to gig and figuring out how to uncomplicate these feelings he's getting from everyone.

So he'd dismissed it.

But later, when things calmed down, when both of them were lying on the fields, staring at the pink sky after that heartfelt moment, there it was again.

A thin thread of violet stretching between them, impossible to miss this time.

And it seemed to grow brighter the more time they spent together. It flared whenever they crossed paths; whenever their hands brushed; whenever Jason laughed so hard to the point he caught Kyle staring him; whenever Jason sent him a smirk and watched as the light pulsed between them, as if it was Kyle's heartbeat.

Jason had seen plenty of love since becoming a Star Sapphire. It was everywhere and so loud and so overwhelming.

But somehow, his eyes kept finding that thread.

Kept finding Kyle's.

This tether.

"And you didn't think to mention that?" His brown eyes filled with hurt, voice so small.

And god, Jason would really like to throw himself through the window now please. Anything was better than seeing the look on Kyle's face.

Fuck. He really hurt him.

He could have said something. He'd known there was a chance this would happen. Every time that violet thread brightened between them, some small part of Jason knew that one day, Kyle—that stubborn idiot who never seemed to know when to give up—might act on those feelings.

But then Kyle's words came back to him.

"You can choose what you do with love. But you can't always choose what you feel."

So Jason had taken Kyle's advice seriously.

If Kyle wanted him to know, then Kyle would tell him. Jason wasn't going to define it for him.

Just because he was a Star Sapphire now, with the ability to see the violet light of love now, it didn't mean he could tell what kind of love that was.

And maybe Kyle didn't have a choice in what he felt for him, Jason could acknowledged that. It was fine. He could live with that.

But it didn't mean that feeling was forever.

Feelings could change, Jason knew that better than most. He expected that Kyle's feelings would eventually fade once the novelty wore off, maybe once he got tired of Jason's shit or gotten to know him better.

Once he remembered that there were plenty of better people to love.

Jason could feel his face lit up when he caught sight of Kyle Rayner around the corner, so he hurried his pace, ready to call out for him—

Until he registered Kyle wasn't alone.

Jason quickly ducked back behind the corner like a coward, peeking around it.

A beautiful woman—another Lantern, Jason realized—was quirking a smile at something Kyle said.

And Kyle…

If Jason's heart was made of glass, it shattered at the softness in Kyle's expression that Jason had never seen directed at him before.

Not to mention there was a light pulsing between them. A violet glowing faintly from the woman's chest as she looked at Kyle, her expression soft with unmistakable fondness. But it wasn't like the other emotions Jason had learned to recognize. The color shifted beneath his senses—there was violet bleeding into yellow then to deep blue then to muted gray, and something so dark it was nearly black, to Jason's surprise.

Though it wasn't quite bright, more faint really, but the connection was still there and undeniable.

Jason didn't know what it meant, he just knew the sight nearly brought him to his knees.

So Jason turned away, ignoring the way it felt like he got stabbed in the heart.

Love. What a fucking joke.

Jason thought Willis loved him, yet he still screamed and threw a bottle at him.

Catherine loved him but she'd still chosen drugs over her son.

And Bruce, who claimed to love him, but quickly disowned him. Replaced him. Chosen the Joker over him. And left him batarang scar he couldn't forget.

Love was confusing.

Love was a mess.

Love had killed him more than the crowbar ever did.

It's not like Jason could trust anyone who claimed to love him anymore—not even with a ring that could literally see it.

Sure, he knew Kyle wasn't like that.

But could Jason trust that Kyle's love for him would stay?

Where was the guarantee that Jason wouldn't be left with another broken heart after that? How quickly someone could decide they didn't want you anymore. How easily promises could turn into lies.

Love didn't stop people from hurting you. Love could be conditional.

Why bother with love if it'll never last?

Love is just a losing game.

So he didn't confront Kyle about it.

He didn't dare let himself wonder of the possibility: Of what it would be like to give his heart to Kyle Rayner. Or what it would be like to wake up beside him and Kyle's face being the first thing he saw.

Hoping about it hurt.

So even if the violet light between them burned brighter than anything Jason had ever seen, he didn't dare linger over it.

He didn't trust it even though a part of him wanted to.

Not again.

After explaining all that to Kyle, he let the silence between them as Kyle stared at him with an unreadable look on his face.

Jason resisted the urge to look away, knowing the man needed a moment to process the harsh reality he'd dropped him. Sadly, having a ring didn't make you a mind reader, so Jason had no idea what was going through Kyle's head.

Sorry to break your heart, but you'll get over it, Jason grimaced at the thought.

"Jason, give me your hands," Kyle said, no, demanded more like it. His eyes were serious, almost penetrating.

Without thinking about it, Jason placed both hands on Kyle's.

He could feel the warmth of his palms immediately, seeping into his own skin. Then came the sudden awareness of everything else.

Kyle was close.

Close enough that Jason could feel the heat of him, their knees almost touching. Close enough that he could feel Kyle's breath ghosting across his face, enough to leave him goosebumps.

"I want you to close your eyes and focus on my feelings," Kyle murmured, the words were barely more than a whisper against his ears.

Jason shivered.

It took a second for him to register the words before he shot Kyle a bewildered look. "Wha—"

"Please, Jason."

So softly and so unexpectedly tender that Jason didn't think he had ever heard Kyle said please before.

So he closed his eyes, hesitant at first, before allowing himself on the feeling, violet glowing faintly around him.

Touch gave you a better sense of a person's feelings, as Carol had once explained to him. As a Star Sapphire, the ring didn't just allow you to see the light, but also feel—

And Jason nearly gasped at the emotions hitting him.

If everyone's feelings were a noise, Kyle's was music to Jason's ears. A melody he couldn't unhear.

Not loud or demanding. It was the kind of music that makes you want to slow dance in the middle of a dark kitchen when no else was watching. It was warm and alive, so contagious, comforting like a wool blanket wrapped around you on a rainy day. Like sitting beside a campfire and feeling the heat seep slowly into your bones. Like a cat contentedly purring softly against your chest, in a way that made you dizzy.

And as the connection deepened, the light didn't just show Kyle's emotions—it pulled Jason directly into Kyle's head, forcing him to feel those memories through Kyle's eyes, he realized.

Suddenly, Jason felt the ache of cold night air on a rooftop stakeout, but what stood out wasn't the freezing weather, no, no, it was the quiet and overwhelming warmth blossoming in Kyle's chest as Jason handed him a wrapped onigiri. And through this, Jason could feel how Kyle’s fingers had cupped around the steamy rice ball—feeling not just Kyle’s genuine, ridiculous gratitude, but the realization that Jason actually cared enough to make sure he ate. Like he mattered.

Then the memory shifted to the pouring rain, Jason felt Kyle's rush of panic over his sketches flying on the soaked pavement, and then came the dumbfounded and breathtaking relief when Jason stepped up beside him, tilting an umbrella over Kyle's head to keep him dry like one of those cheesy manga panels that Kyle dreamed of happening to him, shoulders pressing together under an umbrella, and how even a brief touch seemed to short-circuit something in Kyle.

"Shit. I want this as my tattoo," Memory-Jason said, pointing at one of his drawings. And Jason could feel the pride blooming in Kyle's chest, his thoughts screaming, Oh my god. Jason liked it, again and again. As if the thought of Jason choosing something he'd created a permanent part of himself was enough to make Kyle's heart burst.

And in every memory, every time the word Jason so much as crossed Kyle’s mind, that same warmth was there, all woven. Amusement. Tenderness. Longing. Devotion. Worry. And something deeper beneath all of it, it was want.

Love. The word surfaced almost instinctively in his brain. Unbidden and absolute.

It's as if two souls became a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

Jason's breath caught at that.

And when Jason opened his eyes, he found Kyle was staring at him.

Hazel brown eyes searching his face, almost unbearably affectionate. Adoring. The realization sent Jason's heart pounding madly in his chest. He could almost see a faint violet glow of his own eyes reflecting in Kyle's.

And suddenly, Jason understood more than the ring could tell him. Eyes were windows of the soul, as they say.

And Kyle Rayner was too transparent for his own good. So clear that Jason could this was his sincerity. A canvas he had painted for Jason alone.

"Okay," Jason breathed before the doubt could creep in. Before it could change his mind.

Kyle's eyes widened. And for one brief second, Jason saw something almost fragile in them—there was hope, so tentative and disbelieving, like Kyle was afraid to believe he'd heard him right that made Jason's insides squeeze at that.

"Really?"

Jason looked down at their hands, watching as Kyle's fingers laced through his, gentle but certain.

And Jason didn't pull away. He tightened his grip before looking back at Kyle.

"Really," he nodded.

Kyle beamed.

And God, it was that stupid smile that always made his heart race.

But maybe this time, Jason could afford to be stupid.

Love is a choice.

And if will is a choice…

I choose this.