Chapter Text
Something is wrong with Grace. He doesn't notice it at first, too wrapped up in adjusting to being alive and warm and safe aboard the Hail Mary.
It starts with brain fog. He starts getting confused often, forgets things, mixes words up. He seems to have a near constant headache most days. He starts sleeping more, even taking naps throughout the day. Then comes the constant sweater wearing despite the ship's internal temperature being kept at a balmy 24°C. His hands have always been cold, but they're colder now, and his tremors are getting worse.
An ache pulses in his chest, one that he can't identify yet. But it grows, insistent and present, weighing on him.
He finally breaks late one evening, after watching Grace sit in the same spot at his desk for around nine consecutive hours, only getting up once to use the bathroom.
"You're too thin. Eat" he drops a ration packet on the desk.
"I'm good, I already ate," Grace keeps working away, waving him off with a slightly too thin wrist, "I just have a fast metabolism. Been skinny as a beanpole since I was a kid! Used to get teased for it, actually-"
"You're deflecting. And I know for a fact you haven't eaten since breakfast, I've been watching."
"I-" A flash of emotion, something you'd see on an animal backed into a corner.
"Ryland."
Grace stops. Looks up. And it hits Simon that it's worse than he thought. He looks far too pale, like the blood has perpetually drained from his face. Sickly. It's chilling to see on a face that's become so dear to him.
"I'm not stupid. I know what people look like when they're starving. I've been surrounded by them my whole life, shit, I've been one. And I don't know why you aren't eating, but I'm not gonna sit here and watch you waste away in front of me when there's food right here. So eat, dammit."
Grace has the decency to look at least a little sheepish, "... I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be rationing this aggressively, I just- I didn't want you to ever have to worry about food again"
Simon's chest tightens, like a rope pulled taut around his ribcage.
Of course. Grace'd been doing this for him.
He'd talked about his old life, or parts of it, at least. The rationing that had stunted his growth and delayed his pubescence for years (though he's not upset about that part). The fact that he hadn't had a full portion of food in a long, long time. His body got more efficient, and he got extra calories in where he could to keep some meat on his bones, but he still knows the pangs of hunger like a bitter old friend.
"You've suffered more than enough for one lifetime" Grace adds, and it looks like he's going to try to stand his ground. "I'm still eating some, just- less. It's fine! I'm managing"
But Simon can't let him. "You're not fucking managing, you're dying. Right in front of me. Do you have any idea how many people I've watched starve to death like this? The only reason I didn't join them is because I got lucky, Grace. I managed to keep just enough body mass that when the rationing went through its worse periods, I was ready. You don't have that. If one of us needs to ration, let it be me."
"But-"
"I can take it. I don't need as much to think clearly, I've adapted to run on less. You need it more than me"
"I don't care! That's not- You-"
"Let me do this for you. Please." He needs to repay him in some way. For everything. The kindness so foreign to him, gently offered again and again even when he did not feel he deserved it. He can't let Grace wither away for him. Not after everything he's done.
"No, this- this is insane, Simon, you can't just not eat!"
"Oh so now you get it? When it's not about you?" He hates that his fear comes out as anger, but he is panicking in a way he hasn't for a long time. Grace is one stubborn bastard, if he doesn't want to eat, there's nothing Simon can do to make him. If he doesn't eat, he will die. If he dies, Simon will be alone again. He can’t do that. Not now, after he's gotten a taste of what it feels like not to be.
They are at an impasse for a moment, neither one willing to let the other starve. That is, until Rocky unceremoniously rolls into the room, knocking over several paper stacks and at least one folding chair on the way.
<Grace Simon dumb. Share food. Then no die> Rocky points out <Simon Grace both eat little less. Food last to Erid. No die. Good Good Good>
"... I didn't think of that." Simon can't tell if Grace is about to laugh, cry, or scream, and in the end he just looks over with a grin "We really are two very stupid smart people, aren't we?"
<Grace Simon stupid stupid. Rocky genius. Rocky fix> Simon's not sure how a translation software can sound smug, but oh boy does it.
"Hey, can't he hear through walls?"