Chapter Text
Thursday May 23, 1996. 4:57pm.
“What the fuck, Jackie?!”
Tai pulls up short, huffing, glaring at the ball bouncing past Jackie and over the sideline into touch.
“What???”
Jackie blinks her big-ass eyes at Tai like she has no idea what Tai’s talking about, which makes it even worse, because Jackie is the fucking captain and she should at least fucking know if she’s fucking up-
“You were way offsides!!”
“No I wasn’t.”
Jackie bristles, frowning and crossing her arms.
“Yes you were - oh my god it was by like a mile!”
Tai feels herself getting up in Jackie’s face, and she knows she shouldn’t - she knows the reputation she has, and it’s not fair but it is all the same, and she really needs to be more careful but god damnit Jackie is so fucking annoying sometimes.
“And if you do that at Nationals and our ref isn’t fucking blind like he was at States, we’ll lose. So get it the fuck together.”
She snaps, holding herself to a stiff poke to Jackie’s chest. If she had any less self control it’d be a shove, not that Jackie appreciates her restraint-
“Well maybe I wouldn’t be offsides if someone didn’t cross too far up. It wasn’t even a good pass!”
Jackie shoots back, shrill and defensive.
“I crossed to you where you were going to be so you wouldn’t miss the fucking ball-”
“GIRLS.”
She hears Coach Martinez’s booming voice before she sees him striding onto the field, and oh shit. Oh fuck. They were so close…
Tai’s heart sinks.
She doesn’t have her watch on, obviously. But she’d bet good money it’s been almost two hours, if how tired and irritable she feels is anything to go by.
“Enough. I don’t want to hear any fighting on the pitch - not with the refs, not with me, not with each other. Am I clear?”
“Yes Coach!”
Her and Jackie chorus with one voice, both shrinking back from Coach’s towering presence. He’s not a big man, but you sure wouldn’t know that when he’s pissed. And Tai hates disappointing him, even more than she hates the unpleasantness that inevitably follows. Fucking Jackie.
“Good. You two-”
Coach makes steely eye contact with her and Jackie in turn, ensuring he conveys the full force of his displeasure as he hands down their sentence.
“Ten laps. Eighty percent effort. Keep pace with each other. I want to see you running together. Everyone else…”
He turns to survey the rest of the team, conveniently collapsed in on their little circle now. Having steadily inched in from all corners of the field to get a better vantage point to observe the unfolding drama.
“Hit the showers. Good practice.”
God damnit.
5:13pm.
“Okay… look.”
Jackie huffs, her words coming laboriously as she struggles to keep up with Tai’s pace.
It’s the first either of them have spoken in nine laps, and Tai doesn’t like it. Doesn’t bode well. She was enjoying the silence.
“Coach is… right. We shouldn’t… be fighting, it’s bad… for… morale. So… I apologize… for… what I said.”
Jackie barely manages to get out, sucking heavy breaths in between every other word.
Tai grunts, picking up her speed minutely. It’s a bit of a strain, but she can handle it. Jackie on the other hand… Jackie will be forced to stop talking if they go any faster.
“What… about… you?”
Jackie wheezes with great apparent effort, pushing herself to stay stride-for-stride with Tai.
It’s genuinely surprising she manages it - her face is beet red and she’s sweating like a pig and gasping like she’s drowning but she’s somehow still fucking talking. Incredible.
“What about me?”
Tai keeps her eyes straight ahead, trained on the bright white line stretching out ahead of her. One lap to go. Less than a quarter mile…
“Anything… you… want… to… say?”
“Nope.”
Tai pops the P, allowing herself a satisfied smile as Jackie finally falters and falls behind.
“You… literally… started… it!”
Jackie squeals from behind her, feet pounding hard on the dirt as she fights to regain her speed. Good luck with that, Jackie.
Coach isn’t watching anymore - he left them to it somewhere around lap seven - and god forbid Tai have a moment of peace.
She lengthens her stride and lets herself run, taking advantage of her longer legs to pull further ahead of Jackie. Accelerating into the final stretch, taking pleasure in the burn in her lungs and her calves and quads as she nears the finish. The high of oxygen deprivation and the heat of the sun beating down and the sting of sweat dripping into her eyes and the ache of the lactic acid coursing through her muscles and-
“Misty?!”
Misty steps obliviously out from behind the goalpost - straight into Tai’s path - almost a split-second too late for Tai to divert disaster. An overstuffed bag of soccer balls teeters precariously in her arms, blocking her view.
Tai swears, lurching gracelessly out of the way and screeching to an abrupt halt. Only just avoiding a collision, and only because her reflexes are really fucking fast.
Misty yelps at the sound; drops the ball bag and hits the deck, cowering behind the giant sack in a half-crouch as Tai pulls up short in front of her. Jackie thunders up a moment later, hot on Tai’s heels.
“Oh!”
Misty peers out at them from between her fingers. Pops her fluffy blonde head up and - registering that she won’t, in fact, be trampled today - bounces back to her feet, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
“Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry, I didn’t expect anyone else to still be out here!”
“…Weren’t you… literally watching practice?”
Tai finds herself asking in between heaving breaths, doubled over with her hands braced on her knees, despite how great her desire is not to get into a conversation with Misty fucking Quigley right now.
“Oh, you know.”
Misty smiles serenely.
“…Riiiight.”
Tai nods slowly.
Well, what did she expect? A straight answer from Misty?
“Well, since you are here, would you mind giving me a hand with the equipment?”
Misty chirps, gazing at them hopefully.
“I threw out my back horseback riding last weekend, you wouldn’t believe the inconvenience-“
“Of course, Misty. We’d be happy to.”
Jackie cuts in before Tai gets a chance to respond - probably thinks Tai was going to say no, since Jackie’s opinion of her is doubtless so high right now.
(…Which she wasn’t, obviously. She may have wanted to, but she wasn’t actually going to. She’s not an asshole.)
“So, what are you two doing here so late?”
Misty asks as Tai silently hoists the ball bag over her shoulder. Jackie grabs the stack of cones and sack of pinnies neatly arranged next to the goalpost, letting Tai to do the heavy lifting without protest and leaving Misty’s hands empty. Typical.
“We had a… minor disagreement.”
Jackie answers for the both of them, glancing at her. Tai ignores the look.
“Oh no! That’s terrible.”
“Yup. Terrible.”
Tai deadpans.
“Well I find it can be really helpful to put yourself in someone else’s shoes.”
Misty nods sagely at her own unsolicited advice.
“If you ever need a listening ear, I’m here. And oh! I actually have something that might help-”
Misty fishes around in the pockets of the Yellowjackets windbreaker she wears to every practice. The one Coach Ben gave her out of pity, to feel more like part of the team, and wow has she taken that to heart.
“Here!”
She proudly holds out two friendship bracelets, braided yellow and blue.
“I’ve made a bunch of them but I haven’t had anyone to give one to yet… anyway! It could be fun if you both had one, maybe it would help you make up!!”
Tai drops the balls with a heavy thunk at the door of the equipment shed and reaches out hesitantly for the dangling bracelet.
“Right. Um… thanks, Misty.”
“Well, aren’t you going to put them on? You have to put them on each other for it to work!”
Misty beams. And what Tai would give to just go home right now - but as always, the fastest way out is through. She turns to face Jackie and holds up her bracelet, grimacing.
“Cheers?”
Jackie smiles tightly.
“Cheers.”
5:38pm.
“She’s just so fucking irritating.”
Tai fumes, white knuckling the steering wheel. Her brand-new “friendship” bracelet circling her wrist like a manacle.
“Like what do you mean you didn’t know you were offsides?!”
“Uhhuh.”
Van nods, eyeing the road nervously.
“She’s a good enough player - we all are, well most of us, anyway - but it makes no fucking sense that she’s captain. She’s oblivious!”
“Absolutely. Stop sign!”
Van yelps, and Tai slams on the brakes, for once grateful that they always put their seat belts on before driving to her place. Just in case. Her parents would be so pissed if she died.
“Sorry.”
She shoots Van a guilty glance.
“It’s just, why does Coach think she walks on fucking water??”
“It should’ve been you.”
Van turns fully in her seat to look seriously at her, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder.
“And I’m not just saying that.”
“I don’t care whether it’s me.”
A lie, if she’s real with herself about it. But her pride won’t let her speak the truth into existence, not even just to Van.
“I just don’t see why it has to be her.”
“Mhm.”
Van sighs.
6:52pm.
“I don’t understand why Tai has to be such a bitch sometimes.”
Jackie flops back on Shauna’s bed, utterly exhausted from the extra two miles she had to run today, for something that wasn’t even her fault!
“I mean, what is with the giant stick up her ass?”
“Totally.”
Shauna agrees, leaning forward in her seat with her chin resting on her hands and her elbows on her knees.
“So maybe I was offsides. Couldn’t she have been a little bit nicer about it? We’re a team!”
Shauna shrugs.
“She’s probably just stressed about Nationals. You know how she gets.”
“I mean, I know she’s stressed about Nationals, but so am I! So are all of us!!!”
Jackie huffs, pushing herself up on her elbows to glare at Shauna. Seriously??
“Come on Shipman - can’t you just be on my side?”
Shauna flinches.
“Sorry. Yeah, yeah definitely. Total bitch.”
“Thank you.”
Friday May 24, 1996. 1:12am.
Jackie bolts upright, awakened in the pitch dark dead of night by an earthquake shaking the town of Wiskayok (or at least her house, anyway).
The twin lamps on her matching bedside tables rattle violently, threatening to topple over and crash to the ground. The VCR left sitting out atop her television skitters across the surface. Her pens clang together in the ceramic pot on her desk. And Jackie screams.
“EARTHQUAKEEEEE!!!”
Moments later, the shaking abruptly ceases. Jackie’s door bangs open, blinding light flooding her room. Her mother barges in in her dressing gown and slippers, followed closely by her father in his favorite silk pajama set.
Jackie squints through the sudden, painful brightness, taking in the shockingly unharmed contents of her room. The utter lack of damage; of even a hair out of place.
She blinks, rubbing her burning eyes.
Her mother lets out a deep sigh. Approaches Jackie’s bed, leaning over to brush the hair from her sweaty brow.
“Jacqueline Taylor oh my goodness you gave me such a fright! Are you alright, sweetheart?”
“I… I don’t know…”
Jackie stammers, perplexed and drowsy and disoriented. She pulls the covers up tighter around her neck. Peers once again, bleary-eyed, around her undisturbed bedroom.
“You must have had a nightmare, honey. Everything’s fine. Go back to sleep.”
Her mothers croons, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
After her parents retreat, turning off the light and closing the door behind them, Jackie sinks fitfully back into the depths of an uneasy sleep.
8:05am.
Tai wakes to the shrill sound of an alarm clock that isn’t hers. And even more bizarrely, she wakes in a room that isn’t hers. It’s… horrifyingly pink. Pink and white and very frilly - a strange mixture of little girl and old lady that sets Tai’s teeth on edge.
She must be dreaming, but she’s never dreamed like this. She’s heard of lucid dreams before - dreams where you can control your body, control what happens even, but she’s never had one. Usually her dreams - if she has them at all - are jumbled and strange and fleeting. Maybe this is her first?
In any case, she’s “awake” now, so. She fumbles for the blaring alarm clock on the nightstand, slapping buttons at random until it goes quiet. Throws back the pink and white striped comforter and swings her legs out of bed. Her legs, which are… white?!
…Well that’s fucking weird.
She’s never had a dream where she’s not her before, but okay???
She stands up unsteadily, pink painted toes sinking into a pink fluffy carpet. The white legs attached to her carry her to the white wicker vanity, and then to the matching full length mirror beside it.
She steps into the mirror’s field of view hesitantly, some premonition warning her that she won’t like what she finds. But the reality is somehow, remarkably, magnitudes worse.
Because oh. Oh my fucking god.
She’s Jackie fucking Taylor.
Tai has altogether too little time to contemplate this information, because almost as soon as she steps in front of the mirror, she’s interrupted by the sound of a window rattling behind her.
She whips around, ready to face some kind of eldritch horror, since this is clearly a nightmare. And she’s not entirely wrong. Because the thing rattling the window is fucking Jeff Sadecki.
“Hey, babe.”
Jeff inelegantly clambers through the open window, muddy sneakers landing blessedly on the small strip of exposed wooden floor running the length of the room. The pink fluffy carpet is in fact not a carpet but a very large area rug, Tai notes, not that that matters or is remotely what she should be paying attention to right now.
“…Hi…?”
She replies after a too-long pause, in Jackie Taylor’s voice, of course.
Jeff approaches quickly - eagerly - and Tai can’t help but take a half-step back, grimacing. But Jeff doesn’t notice, apparently, because he reaches for her anyway, wrapping a large arm around her waist and leaning down for what can only be a kiss.
Tai knees him in the nuts before she even realizes she’s doing it.
Jeff yelps - releases her like he’s been scalded and stumbles back, clutching at his crotch and groaning.
Tai thinks it’s a little dramatic, to be honest - at least she didn’t break his fucking toes (the stranger danger video her parents played her countless times as a child cycles through her mind - it only takes five pounds of pressure to break the stranger’s foot-)
“What the fuck, Jackie?!”
Jeff scowls at her, still hunched over a safe distance away, his voice unnaturally high and tight.
“What the fuck did I do???”
“Err… Sorry!”
Tai reluctantly brings herself to squeak, (which at least comes easier in Jackie’s squeaky-ass voice).
“I just… umm.”
She grimaces, fighting to arrange her face into a more sympathetic configuration.
“…I’m just not in the mood this morning Jeff, sorry. I’m not really… feeling like myself.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Jeff grumbles, limping over to the bench at the foot of her bed and sitting gingerly.
“You’re never in the fucking mood, Jackie. You seem exactly like yourself.”
Jeff’s voice is laced with bile, and Tai’s snapping back-
“Oh yeah? Well fuck you.”
Before she can think better of it, nor interrogate his words. How dare Jeff fucking Sadecki talk to her that way?! And well, she’s not exactly her but, how dare he talk to Jackie that way either!
“Okay, well fuck you too!!!”
Jeff shoots back up, towering over her. And for a second, Tai is a little freaked out. Mostly pissed off, but a little freaked out.
…But then, he deflates. His whole body seems to sag, his stature shrinking as his shoulders round and his posture collapses. He brings his hands to his face, rubbing his eyes.
“Jesus, Jackie… I just. Fuck. I just want this to work and sometimes it feels like you don’t even fucking like me.”
He’s looking at her now from over the tops of his fingers; all sad, expectant puppy eyes. And all Tai can think to say is-
“…Oh.”
“That’s it? Seriously?”
Jeff drops his hands, revealing the thin, frustrated line of his mouth.
At Tai’s silence, he throws them up again, a what the hell type of gesture that has Tai raising her eyebrows inadvertently.
“Okay. Alright then. Fuck me. Fuck this! I’m out of here.”
Jeff turns on his heel, striding back towards the window. He straddles it with a wince, practically tumbling out in his haste to leave. But before he disappears over the lip, he glances back over his shoulder.
“We’re done. I’m over this. Stop fucking calling me if you don’t actually want to be with me.”
8:25am.
The sudden, ear-splitting ringing of the unfamiliar phone on the unfamiliar nightstand startles her - prompts her to poke her head out from under the unfamiliar lavender comforter she’s buried herself in, an ill-fated attempt to go back to sleep so she can wake up.
Jackie reaches for it gingerly, with an arm that is decidedly not hers, for reasons that are maybe inappropriate to say or possibly even to think (is it inappropriate to be weirded out in the privacy of your own mind that you woke up Black?!)
But there’s the more pressing matter of the phone, and she can’t think with the phone ringing so-
“…Hello?”
She whispers into the receiver, plucking it out of its cradle and holding it carefully, like it might shock her at any moment.
“Jackie???”
A voice - her voice - crackles out from the other end of the line.
“What the fuck?!”
She yelps, the phone slipping out of her hands and crashing to the floor, dragging the whole damn box down with it by its tightly coiled cord.
But she can still hear the faint voice on the other end of the line - the weird evil copy of her voice - saying,
“Jackie are you still there?? Don’t hang up-”
She rolls out of bed, scoops up the phone, and slams the cursed thing down in its cradle, collapsing back onto the bedspread with it clutched to her chest. Fuck that.
…But not twenty seconds later, the fucking thing rings again - screams, more like - rattling her fucking teeth and probably even her brain inside her skull.
“Jesus fuck.”
Jackie swears, scrabbling back against the headboard and sending the phone clattering across the bed, still shrieking at her. She glares at it, considering.
She could throw it across the room, but it would just keep ringing. She could unplug it, or smash it, theoretically, if that even works on haunted phones which she’s pretty sure it doesn’t - but it could be worth a try, at least.
Or…
She takes a deep breath, steeling herself. Crawls forward and shakily lifts the phone off the hook, against her better judgement.
In horror movies, you should never pick up the phone. But also the plot can’t proceed if she doesn’t pick up the phone, and she can’t live like this, and maybe she can just give this asshole a piece of her mind and sort this whole thing out.
“Listen whoever you are - you freaky demon thing-”
“JACKIE! Oh thank fuck-”
“Give me my body back you creep-”
“Oh my god shut up! Just, ugh. Just shut up and listen for a second, okay?!”
Her own voice hisses back at her. And it’s so unsettling that she momentarily forgets - or maybe just can’t bring herself - to disobey.
“Where are you?? Are you still in bed?!”
Her voice asks. Which… well yes, yes she is, but it’s not like she’s going to tell some disembodied version of her voice that-
“We have to get to school, Jesus Christ. Okay. Just. Just get up. Get up and go look in my mirror. And take the phone with you, for godsakes.”
Jackie stands, inexplicably, phone in hand. Shuffles robotically to the mirror.
Because maybe the thing has mind control or something??? She’s not sure why she’s listening to it in the first place - this is like, absolutely not final girl behavior - but what else is she going to do in this situation?!
And when she gets there, well. She’s…
Taissa Turner?!
“Jackie, listen to me-”
“Tai???”
“Oh my god yes thank god yes-”
And she knew her voice sounded familiar - well not her voice - but anyway-
“What the hell???”
“I don’t know, I don’t fucking know-”
“But you called??”
“I just had a hunch, and shit Jackie I don’t know what the fuck this is but you need to get ready and pick up Van for school right the fuck now, okay?!”
And that gives Jackie the most of pause of anything Tai’s said yet, because-
“Are you crazy?! We can’t go to school like this!”
“Well I don’t know what else to do, unless you have a better idea! And you’re Van’s ride, and fucking Shauna is honking her horn outside your fucking window-”
“Oh my god Shauna. Shit!”
“Yeah. Yeah shit. Okay. My car keys are in the bowl on the counter downstairs - dodge my parents if you can please - do not fucking crash my car. And Jackie…”
Tai pauses briefly before she delivers her final instruction, before she leaves Jackie alone again in her room - in her fucking body - to go pick Van up for school, apparently-
“…Do not fucking touch my hair.”
8:37am.
The minute she hangs up Jackie’s (pink) phone, Tai launches into action. Shauna has already honked twice - two short, annoyed bursts - and frankly Tai would be annoyed too. It’s 8:37am and she needs to move.
She rips open Jackie’s closet to find seemingly the whole of J.Crew’s spring catalogue, arrayed before her in a stunning pastel rainbow. She falters for a moment, blinded, before grabbing a shirt and skirt at random. She can be preppy.
She careens down the stairs, with the intention of blasting past any potential parental interactions. Late for school, can’t talk! But none materialize to sideline her - downstairs, Jackie’s house is as still, quiet, and sterile as a tomb. Creepy.
She bursts out onto the pavement outside, running near full-tilt to Shauna’s car. She flings open the door, panting, and throws herself into the vehicle.
“Hi!”
She gasps,
“Thanks so much for picking me up.”
“Um.”
Shauna blinks.
“…You’re… welcome?”
Shauna’s still giving her a funny sideways look as she starts the car, so Tai looks straight ahead and shuts up. Normal Jackie Taylor interaction clearly failed already, somehow.
As Shauna’s familiar beat up Ford Focus coughs to life, Tai’s eyes alight on a shiny new Jeep sitting in the Taylor’s driveway. Damn. Jackie has a brand new car and Shauna still drives - she must really be an ass driver.
Tai closes her eyes and prays for her car, and for Van.
And oh shit - Jackie’s alone with VAN-
“I saw Jeff.”
Shauna’s voice, both petulant and accusatory, cuts through her train of thought. Tai shakes herself - forces herself to focus - because she can’t afford to totally fuck up the Jackie show again already and there’s nothing she can do about Van beyond appeal to a higher power.
“What happened to no distractions before Nationals?”
“Ah… did I say that?”
Tai falters, grasping for threads of what feels like a much larger conversation that she does not have the necessary context for. God damn Jackie’s Taylor’s apparent rich inner life, that she knows fuck all about-
Shauna grunts wordlessly, scowling at the windshield. Not very helpful, Shauna!
“…Well don’t worry, I guess, because I think we broke up?”
Tai winces. Sorry, Jackie.
“Oh.”
Shauna doesn’t react, not really, but the corner of her lip curls up and she relaxes back into her seat, suddenly in a seemingly far better mood.
“I mean, sorry.”
She offers lamely, a beat too late in Tai’s opinion.
“But… what is it, do you think? The like, ten thousand and first time?”
“I don’t know…”
And that line, at least, comes naturally to Tai. It’s true. But wow - seriously, Jackie??
“Not gonna change your mind when you decide you don’t want to show up to college a virgin again?”
Shauna grins easily, bopping her head along with the music emanating from the tape deck now.
A VIRGIN?!
Tai’s brain short circuits. Years worth of assumptions obliterated in an instant; interactions and rumors and memories recontextualized by a single word. Holy fuck.
But Shauna’s question demands an answer, whether Tai’s prepared to answer it or not. Shauna’s got her eye more on Tai than Tai would prefer - more on Tai than she does on the road, alarmingly. Waiting, clearly, for something.
Tai clears her throat.
“Ah… I said no distractions, didn’t I?”
Did she really??? Who knows. Only Shauna… and Jackie, wherever she may be at this moment, god help them both.
Jackie, who apparently cares a lot more about soccer than Tai realized. Of course she already knew Jackie cares about soccer - they both do, almost certainly more than anyone else on the team. Jackie’s biggest redeeming quality, if Tai’s being honest.
But no distractions before Nationals… and a virgin?! For soccer?!??!
Tai could never. And she loves soccer.
(…Not that she’s had the opportunity to go quite all the way there, but not for lack of effort, or out of some ascetic sense of duty. Jackie’s had a boyfriend for years! It’s different!!)
“I mean, no offense, but you’ve changed your mind like fifty times-”
“Do I even like Jeff?”
Tai blurts out, an inside thought broken free from the confines of her brain. Shit. Shit shit shit.
“I just mean, we’ve been dating for so long…”
She tries to recover; to put on a veneer of introspection. Does Jackie introspect?? Before today Tai would’ve said no, but here’s to hoping she was wrong.
“He said I didn’t. Like him. Do you think I like him?”
Is that a reasonable question to ask Shauna?? It’s too late to take back, so she’d better hope so.
Shauna glances at her. A quick, nervous movement. A hard-to-read look.
“…I think you’ve been together forever.”
She says, finally. Carefully diplomatic. Makes a slow turn onto Sonora, just past Muriel’s.
“But you have broken up, like, a lot. And you said you wanted to rip off the bandaid… think it’s gonna stick this time?”
It’s Tai’s turn to hum noncommittally. If Jackie has anything to say about it, it probably won’t stick to next Tuesday. But then again…
“…Jackie?”
Shauna frowns, briefly. Opens her mouth and closes it again. Licks her lip, then bites down on it.
“Does this have anything to do with…?”
Shauna trails off, expectant silence hanging in the wake of her words, like Tai - no, Jackie - should already know what she’s talking about. Ahhhh… shit.
“Mmm… I… don’t know. Maybe?”
Tai flounders. Maybe indeed! Thank god Jackie lives close to school, thank god. She can’t take much more of this.
Is Shauna always this cryptic? Even alone with Jackie, her best friend?
Ten minutes in - maybe more - and it’s still painfully unclear what these two talk about, or what a normal conversation looks like for them. In fact, Tai probably had a better idea of that before (or at least, she thought she did, seemingly incorrectly.)
“I guess I’m just… thinking. About things.”
She finishes weakly, another half-truth. She is definitely thinking about things, alright. And in the absence of better clues, it’s the best she can offer.
Shockingly, it’s that nothing-ass response that seems to finally satisfy Shauna.
“Yeah - no, me too. Right.”
Shauna nods awkwardly, now avoiding Tai’s eyes completely. After a stifling moment of silence, she twists the radio dial, ratcheting up the volume on Liz Phair’s vocals until Tai couldn’t respond if she wanted to.
Tai flops back against her seat and closes her eyes. Utterly drained, and it’s not even 9am.
What the fuck is these two’s deal??
8:47am.
Tai’s style isn’t quite Jackie’s, but Jackie can work with it. At least Tai has a style - god forbid she wound up in Shauna’s closet, or Van’s.
Jackie tugs on a pair of jeans, a crop top, and Tai’s Yellowjackets letterman. After a moment of consideration, she ties a scarf around her hair.
(Technically she didn’t touch it, she just wrapped it. She’s helping!! Tai wouldn’t want to have a bad hair day, would she?)
She breezes down the stairs, locking eyes with the bowl of keys on the counter. Bingo. Easy.
…But just before she can snag them, she’s intercepted by an obstacle she didn’t even think to prepare for. Frozen in her tracks as she steps out from the relative shelter of the enclosed staircase, by the enthusiastic greeting of a jovial, aproned man bustling around the kitchen. A man she knows - Tai’s dad never misses a game - but is nevertheless wholly unprepared to speak to right now.
“Heya kiddo - aren’t you having breakfast? I made eggs, and there’s cereal and muffins.”
Jackie jumps damn near out of her skin, but she manages to plaster a smile to her face before he circles the marble island like a shark, cutting off her escape route.
“Ah thanks… dad. But I’m late, I really have to go!”
He looks down at his watch, eyebrows shooting up.
“Wow! Sure do - wouldn’t want to break that perfect attendance. But at least take a granola bar, okay? Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”
Jackie reaches out to accept the offered snack - what is she supposed to do, say no?? - and Tai’s dad takes advantage of his opening, swooping in to smother her in a crushing hug.
“Be good! And remember - I love you.”
8:52am.
Jackie stumbles out of Tai’s house, still dazed by the parental ambush. Locates the dark green Acura in the driveway and lets herself in, settling in behind the wheel and cranking the key in the ignition (or attempting to, anyway).
It’s not until the key jams and she has to stretch her leg all the way out to reach the brake pedal that it occurs to her that she’d better adjust the seat (and probably the mirrors too, while she’s at it). It’s been awhile since she’s done this - Jeff and Shauna both like to drive.
She is definitely not making it to school on time (sorry, Tai).
9:02am.
Jackie does make it to Van’s in one piece, if slowly. At a pace of roughly twenty miles per hour, to be exact. Shoulders high and tight around her ears, clawed hands cramping from gripping the steering wheel so hard. Well, better late than never.
“Hey.”
Van looks at Jackie - Tai - oddly as she clambers into the passenger seat, dropping her backpack on the ground between her feet.
“Are you okay? You seem… tense.”
“Yep!”
Jackie squeaks, shoulders creeping higher.
“Great! Totally good!”
“Right…”
Van arches an eyebrow.
“You know you’re late, right? You’re never late.”
“I know! I know.”
Jackie concedes, frowning. How is it even possible to have perfect attendance?!
“I guess I just… woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Anyway, better get going then, right?”
She deflects before Van can ask any more questions, throwing the car back into drive and crawling out onto the street.
“Alright, no skin off my back.”
Van shrugs.
“Hey, you’re not still pissed about yesterday - are you?”
“…What do you mean?”
Jackie tears her eyes briefly off the road in front of her to glance at Van, lounging in the passenger seat with one arm behind her own head and the other behind Jackie’s headrest.
“You know… about Jackie?”
“Oh.”
Jackie grunts, tamping down on the hot flash of annoyance that recalling yesterday’s practice inspires. What the hell, Tai?!
“I realized that was my fault, actually.”
She presses her lips together in some wan approximation of a smile, jerking the steering wheel into a right turn at the intersection of Oak and Lincoln.
“I was being immature. And also unfair.”
She can’t help herself from adding.
“…OOoooookay.”
She can feel Van’s unsettlingly pale eyes trained on her like twin lasers, but she keeps her own glued steadfastly to the road. It’s basic safety. Besides, there’s a flashing yellow light looming at the end of the block, and she can’t remember what that means. Slow down??? She’s already only going twenty… maybe she can ask Van-
“Wait, are you pissed at me?”
“What???”
Jackie panic-breaks at the intersection with the mysterious yellow light, sending her and Van both lurching forward in their seats (though admittedly, not as much as they would have been if she were going faster). After a moment of agonizing indecision, she pulls slowly, diagonally, over to the side of the road and puts the car in park, turning to give Van her full attention.
“Why would I be?”
Should she be? It’s not like she’d know.
“I don’t know-”
Van glances at the crosswalk that they’re very much parked in the middle of, then down at her watch, then back at Jackie.
“Errr… sometimes you’re a little hard to read, you know.”
“Mmm.”
Jackie finds herself agreeing. And don’t forget moody. She doesn’t know how Van puts up with it. It’s not like Tai is exactly easy to deal with.
“Look, fuck it - I’m just gonna be completely honest here-”
Van’s blue eyes flash, her fingers twisting together in her lap.
“…Sometimes I just, I worry you don’t like me as much as I like you.”
“What! That’s crazy.”
Jackie answers immediately, on instinct.
“That’s obviously not true.”
This, at least, she doesn’t need to overthink. She may not know all that much about Tai’s life outside of soccer, but she knows that. Everyone does.
Van is Tai’s Shauna.
“You know I really, really like you, right?”
Van presses on, determined, a freckled hand finding Jackie’s thigh and squeezing.
“Yeah, and I really, really like you.”
Jackie giggles, bemused. She’d never taken Van to be insecure, but you never really know someone, do you?
“You’re my person, Van.”
Jackie covers Van’s hand with hers and squeezes back.
“Oh.”
Van’s smile creeps across her face like butter melting - a genuine, wide, happy smile.
“Okay, cool.”
Jackie smiles back. Nailed it. You’re welcome, Tai.
“Yay! Now that that’s settled - can I ask you something?”
“Yeah - yeah of course.”
Van blinks, expectant.
“You have your license, right?”
9:20am.
Tai shoots Jackie a withering look as she bursts through the doors of the locker room, Van in tow, with only twenty minutes to spare before the pep rally starts.
Despite knowing it was coming, seeing her own face used against her is still bizarre, to say the least. Jackie is so transfixed by the sight of herself stalking towards her that she doesn’t even think to try to dodge Tai before she’s being shoved right back out the double doors, into the empty hall and around the corner.
“What the hell, Jackie! You’re like, fifteen minutes late!!”
Tai-as-Jackie hisses, with more venom in her voice than Jackie thinks is justified, frankly, given the circumstances. It’s not like Tai had to drive here.
“Is that seriously your primary concern right now?!!”
She whispers back, indignant. (Or at least she tries to, anyway - Shauna’s always said she’s bad at whispering, though Jackie doesn’t see how that’s even a thing you can be bad at-)
“Keep it down.”
Tai cranes her neck to look nervously over Jackie’s shoulder, scanning the empty hallway - like that wouldn’t make them look even more suspicious.
“Why don’t you keep it down!”
If Jackie’s whispering too loudly, then whispering is a very generous word for what Tai’s doing - and not only is it not justified, it’s about the entirely wrong thing!
“Nobody’s listening anyway, and even if they were, they would just think we’ve gone insane! Which we probably have!!”
You would think that Tai would appreciate the gravity of their situation, given her own part in their predicament. But she not only fails to react with the appropriate level of concern - she actually rolls her eyes, which is remarkably infuriating.
“Speak for yourself. I am not insane.”
She manages to sound almost bored, somehow, which just about launches Jackie into the next dimension-
“Okay, well, congratulations I guess, good for you!”
Jackie’s not even sure what she’s saying, exactly, but she’s sure she’s seeing red-
“Enjoy my body! I’m pretty sure none of this can be real anyway, so maybe I’ll just go throw yours off a bridge or something!!!!”
“Whoa.”
Tai holds up her hands, suitably rattled finally.
“Let’s just calm down for a second-”
“You know what, no. You have no idea how stressful this morning has been for me already! I mean, why doesn’t Van drive you places?! She’s practically a boy!!”
Tai opens her mouth to say something, but there’s no stopping Jackie now. She steamrolls on, aware of but nonetheless unable to stop the increasingly shrill pitch of her voice.
“And you know it won’t even go on your record that I was late anyway! You know there was no homeroom today because of the pep rally. I mean, who even has perfect attendance???”
When Jackie’s tirade abates, it’s really only because she runs out of breath. But it gives Tai an opening anyway. And even a second to stare at her, shell-shocked, before she shakes her head and says her piece-
“Jesus, Jackie. That’s not… urgh.”
Tai rolls her head back and pinches the bridge of her nose.
“Wow. Okay. Um, obviously, I do not care about my fucking attendance. I thought you ditched me!!”
“Oh.”
Jackie blinks. Breathes. Oh.
“Wait, seriously?”
“Yes???”
Tai tips her head to the side, looking at Jackie like she’s some kind of alien.
“You left me alone in there to be you! I had to do Allie’s face paint!!!”
(Which, to Jackie, still doesn’t seem like their biggest concern right now. But whatever. She gets it.)
And suddenly, this feels like a situation she can handle. She can help Tai. She has a role to play, a job to do. And she’s not alone.
“Well I didn’t, okay? And I won’t.”
She grabs for Tai’s hand and squeezes, staring into her own wide eyes.
“Come on Tai… I wouldn’t do that. We’re teammates.”
Tai nods, slowly.
“…Okay.”
“Okay!”
Jackie squeezes again.
“We just need to get through the next six hours and then we can, like, figure this out or whatever. Maybe if we retrace our steps-”
“Taylor!”
Jackie nearly jumps out of Tai’s skin (for the second time already this morning) at the sound of a loud male voice - Coach Martinez’s voice - booming through the otherwise-silent hallway. Calling her name, accompanied by his head poking out of his office door.
“With me. A word.”
She moves to respond instinctively. It takes Coach holding up his hand pointedly, motioning at Tai to remind her-
“Alone, please.”
Oh shit.
9:25am.
“I’m going to talk to you like an adult. Is that okay with you?”
Tai inclines her head fractionally at the question, still processing where she is right now. Afraid to move too much, or speak, as if there’s any universe in which Coach Martinez is more likely to recognize that she’s not Jackie than Shauna is.
But that’s enough for him, apparently, because he launches straight into business-
“Do you have any idea why I made you team captain this year?”
Oof. Tai isn’t sure what she expected, but it sure wasn’t that. What an opener.
Coach’s dark eyes bore into hers. He laces his fingers together, rests his elbows on his desk, and waits.
“…No.”
She hesitates a second, but ultimately answers honestly. (And not just because she can’t think of anything else to say.)
“Not really.”
It’s true - she doesn’t know why Jackie is captain. Jackie would presumably have a good reason - probably a whole list - and maybe Tai should try harder to contemplate what that secret strength might be, but truth be told, she doesn’t really want to.
It’s a question she’s asked herself a million times, never expecting an answer. Just an endless exercise in frustration and self-flagellation, an indulgence in her worst impulses. And now here she is, in Coach’s office at his invitation, sitting in Jackie’s seat - the seat meant for the captain. Finally in that coveted position, if under false pretenses. The real answer to the million dollar question offered up on a silver platter.
False pretenses or no, she’s not about to turn it down.
Coach nods. It’s a curt, clipped gesture, but Tai knows what it means. It’s the same kind they fight for day in and out at practice. That rare, fleeting acknowledgement of approval. Good job. Correct answer.
“Now, obviously, it’s not because you’re our best player.”
He begins, matter of fact.
Obviously??
Tai frowns inadvertently. Taken aback, the truth of it aside.
Because yes of course it’s true, and maybe it was naive of her to think that Coach somehow didn’t see it. Didn’t see her. Didn’t have some other motivation for picking Jackie over her.
But it’s a harsh truth. Thrown out callously, with no regard for its impact on the girl he thinks she is.
She always thought Coach liked Jackie. Favored her. Genuinely believed in her, more than Tai thought Jackie had earned. But here, in private… he’s not even particularly nice to her?
And if he didn’t pick Jackie for her perceived skill on the field - her leadership, athleticism, game IQ - all the things that matter most, then why did he?
“Shauna’s faster, Lottie’s got better footwork by a mile. And Taissa… now, Taissa has what it takes.”
He continues, oblivious to her confusion (or seemingly even to her presence at all).
“Wait, really???”
Coach ignores her. Blows right past that bombshell like he’s talking to a wall.
“Jackie, you possess something no one else on this team has.”
He pauses for a moment, allowing the weight of what’s promised to settle over her. The reason he called her - Jackie - here, the elusive answer to that painful question.
“…Influence.”
It takes Tai a second to register the meaning behind his words; somehow the most unexpected turn yet in a “conversation” that hasn’t gone a single place she thought it would.
…A popularity contest. Their coach picked their captain because he thought she was the most popular.
The realization leaves Tai speechless. The lack of respect - for her, for Jackie, for all of them - is staggering.
“When things get tough out there, those girls are gonna need someone to guide them. Can you handle that?”
Coach Martinez delivers his final lines - the climax of his monologue - with an almost ludicrous gravitas. Her cue; her response no doubt already preordained in his mind.
Tai looks at him through new, clear eyes. Nods, tersely, not that it matters.
It’s an attempt at flattery that would probably work on Jackie. But it’s bullshit.
Coach doesn’t understand Jackie, or her, or any of them. And for the first time, she thinks she truly understands him.
11:15am.
Jackie strongly considers skipping out on the rest of the day after the pep rally, but Tai would probably kill her.
(In fact, Jackie knows she would because Tai said so specifically on her way out of the locker room before she hurried off to French - which she doesn’t even speak!)
It would be nice if Jackie could at least find Tai, to strategize or something (…or, admittedly, she really wants to know what Coach said) but no dice. All she got on that front when she tried to pry was a scowl and a muttered “asshole,” which is super weird of Tai, actually, but anyway-
Tai seems intent on actually going to all her classes (Jackie’s classes, that is) for reasons that Jackie cannot begin to comprehend. And of course they have no classes together, because Tai is in AP everything and packed all her free periods with electives for god knows what reason. Someone should really tell her you can’t get into law school until after you’ve gone to college.
If there’s one upside to Tai’s insane schedule being thrust upon her, it’s that Jackie does see a lot of Shauna. So much that Shauna actually turns around her chair halfway through AP U.S. History to ask if Jackie is okay? Because she’s been staring, and apparently Tai doesn’t usually do that. Weird. Van stared at her all the way through Spanish and Jackie didn’t say anything, because she’s polite, and that’s just what friends do.
Shauna just must not actually like Tai that much. That’s a little sad.
…Or maybe she’s still mad at Tai on Jackie’s behalf, after yesterday. That’s probably it actually. Shauna is such a good friend.
3:43pm.
Shauna’s already been shouting Tai’s name for like thirty seconds before Jackie realizes she’s out of position again, too far up to drop back and defend effectively. Helpless against the JVs’ attack on her own overwhelmed side, left in disarray by her absence.
Melissa and Akilah probably would’ve already successfully wrested the ball from a frustrated Nat (again) if the real Tai weren’t there (too far back for a striker, but it’s not like Jackie’d have a leg to stand on if she tried to point that out right now).
It doesn’t help her focus that she’s tired and frazzled.
This is the most she’s ever run in a scrimmage, poor job of center mid as she’s doing notwithstanding. Or maybe that’s making it worse, actually - maybe she wouldn’t have to run quite so much if she could keep better track of what was going on; weren’t doing it aimlessly, like a chicken with her head cut off.
Tai’s lung capacity is a blessing - if Jackie were herself, she’d probably have passed out by now. But Tai’s athleticism, impressive as it may be (Jackie’s not too proud to admit that - it’s just a fact), only goes so far without Tai’s head. Her clear vision of the field; of the position of the ball and her teammates and her opponents at any given moment. Her way of seeing two or three or even four steps ahead. Of maneuvering to create space, and with it, opportunities.
Taking possession of Tai’s body seems to have blessed Jackie with her physical attributes, but decidedly not the others, and she’s suffering for it.
She circles back to join the fray, but by the time she rolls up Tai’s already seized control, booting the ball desperately upfield to Mari. She wheels around to face Jackie, red-faced and panting-
“Jackie. You’re playing midfield. That’s in the middle of the field, if you didn’t know. Stay back and cover!”
“Okay! Okay!!! I know I’m sorry!”
The message lands on Tai’s retreating back - she’s already sprinting up after Mari, veering left to take the heat off Allie, skinny limbs flailing. Leaving Jackie in the dust to contemplate the question:
Is that really how I run???
3:45pm.
Allie biffs Mari’s perfectly-placed cross, bobbling the ball for long enough to give Crystal the opportunity to swoop in and contest what would have been a wide-open shot.
Motherfuck she sucks.
A problem Tai had been planning to deal with today, before other issues took precedence (to say the least).
She can’t do shit to keep Allie from getting the ball all the way up here at striker, and switching sides wouldn’t work either, since this stupid position doesn’t defend.
She doesn’t envy Jackie, which is a weird thing to realize.
It’s frustrating being stuck up here, dependent on someone else to feed you the ball. It feels like half the game is spent waiting, and then when something finally does happen - when the play makes it to her - the pressure is on to score. And if she doesn’t… well, that’s all on her.
The fuck ups are less dangerous than they are at defense or midfield, but they’re also very obvious, and very public. Up here, at the head of the pack, you’re more alone than anywhere else on the field. You’re either a hero or you let the whole team down.
…It’s no wonder a freshman hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet. Maybe Allie does just need more practice, more experience at this level. Maybe she needs more time.
Time is unfortunately a luxury they don’t have, but they do have a pretty damn good team. And right now, if temporarily, Tai is their leader. And maybe… maybe they don’t need to keep the ball away from Allie. Maybe they can use her.
Tai signals Ben to call a water break. She is the captain, after all.
4:08pm.
A beautiful pass from Lottie out of the backfield and Jackie has the ball. She shoots up the pitch, aiming center-right.
She’s never run like this before. Sure, she could beat Tai - or probably any of the other Yellowjackets - at a short-range sprint. She can close. It’s her job. But add stamina to the equation and she falls off fast.
Not today. She may feel exhausted, but wow can Tai run. Jackie knew it, before, but that’s different than knowing it like this. Knowing it in her body.
She’s struck with the realization, as she runs, that she can probably actually do this. (Well, really it’s Tai who can do this - execute the hairbrained half-planned half-improvised play that she drew up for all of them, but mostly for Jackie. Because today, Jackie is Tai. And wow is it a trip.)
Two defenders - Gen and Akilah - close in on her as Jackie nears the box, but she’s too quick for them. She feints back and they fall for it, leaving open space in front of her to drive into. Her movements are crisp and precise. Perfect. The ball moves with her like it’s an extension of her body. It’s incredible. She barely has to even think about it.
Crystal lunges forward to block her path, drawn down and out of the penalty box. Jackie sidesteps her easily, sending the ball up to a waiting Mari and circling around to look for a pass-back.
The pass isn’t there, but that’s okay - Tai didn’t think it would be that easy. They’re prepared for this.
Mari dribbles around Crystal, Gen, and Akilah, looking for an opening. When she doesn’t find it, she drops back, sending the ball out to Nat on the sideline. Nat buys them some time for Jackie to dart into the box, but it’s still not there. Melissa’s covering her, and while Jackie’s extremely confident she could beat her one on one, that isn’t the point of this exercise. It’s not enough to be able to trounce JV - they need to be able to adapt, shake their marks. They need to be ready for Nationals.
Nat passes back down to Allie. Sets it - option three - into motion.
Allie retreats at the first sign of pressure, and the defenders take the bait. Gen and Akilah pounce on her too eagerly, chasing her back towards their territory, sensing blood in the water.
…But Jackie is there, ready for Allie’s quick tap. And when she takes it, Gen and Akilah are out of position.
Jackie explodes forward, escaping into the open space created by Allie’s backwards movement and penetrating deep into JV territory. Crystal and Melissa are waiting to block her path up ahead, but that doesn’t matter. Because all four defenders are collapsing in on her, and Tai…
Tai is wide open to her left.
Jackie spins, momentarily boxing out the defense, and blasts the ball in Tai’s direction with power that would usually be far beyond her.
Tai is ready and waiting, already winding up by the time the ball leaves Jackie’s foot.
She connects in the air, and it’s gorgeous. A clean, explosive kick that sends the ball soaring straight over Rachel’s left shoulder and deep into the back corner of the goal.
The moment seems to hang in the air, stretched out impossibly, made fragile by its length. What in reality must only be a second stalls, expands as Rachel leaps - misses - hits the ground, the ball sinking into the net behind her.
…Before it abruptly shatters, broken by the sheer volume of the screaming before they even reach her-
The team swarms Tai, Jackie included. One by one they smash into the growing undulating mass at full speed and are absorbed, embracing each other and jumping and cheering, celebrating far more than a practice probably deserves but it was a hell of a kick - and all of a sudden Jackie is hugging herself, ensconced inside a crush of sweaty bodies, which is a little weird but whatever. It’s only like, the fourth or fifth weirdest thing that has happened today.
She admittedly feels a brief, fleeting, flash of annoyance that Tai is getting all the credit when she just did all that work… but well, she usually gets most of the credit, doesn’t she?
Huh.
Jackie shakes it off. Tai deserves this.
