Work Text:
It's hard, Mitsuki thinks. It's hard to love someone and have to be patient with them, match their pace. Shelter puppies and all that. So he keeps going on dates with Suo, finding ways to see him all the time, and then talking about every event in vague terms on his streams that he knows Suo is listening too. He doesn't push for labels or for anything more than what Suo is willing to give him. Which is usually make out sessions on one of their couches or some treat as a reward for passing a test.
He wants more though. He wants Suo.
Cutie ૮ • ﻌ - ა
Are you free today? (ㅇㅅㅇ❀) - delivered 8:49am
My brothers are coming by shortly but my afternoon is free.
Why? - delivered 8:50am
I wanna see your cute face! ♡ ～('▽^人) - delivered 8:50am
[Sticker]
See you this afternoon then~ -delivered 9:01am
That's how he ends up in this situation. Walking up the stairs of Suo's ramshackle apartment building, ignoring the pit that's been forming in his stomach since he stepped through the lobby doors. He's choosing to blame the mold the building probably has. Not too loud to be real sex he can hear through the too thin walls as he steps out of the stairwell nor the screaming match happening further down the hall. It's definitely the asbestos in the ceiling of this building causing the pit in Mitsuki's stomach.
Suo's door is the prettiest one in the hall, not just because he has a doormat in front and a little wreath hanging on it. The paint is chipping and worn out in several high traffic spots (around the handle, a bit above the handle, at the bottom corner) but it’s also the loveliest shade of cobalt blue. There are three voices in there, five if he counts the neighbors sex shrieks, and only one he recognizes. Mitsuki's never heard Suo sound so upset or anxious before. Hell, he's never heard Suo yell before.
“That isn't what I said!” Suo shouts.
One of the other voices, deeper than Suo's but much louder, shouts back. “You aren't making any sense, SunFei!”
The third voice isn't shouting and that makes Mitsuki's blood run cold. He can't make out their words but he can hear the firm, deep timbre of their voice.
“If you would just listen to me!” Suo's voice cracks as he yells.
There's a buzzing in Mitsuki's ears at all the shouting that drowns out anything else. He can't commit to anything past the idea of announcing his presence and an unconscious motion to knock. Vaguely he thinks he hears someone speaking before the door is yanked open. So he's left standing there with his hand awkwardly raised as two men -one tall, blonde, and vaguely European if the prominence of his nose in his face is any indicator and the other is equally tall, but more of the dark and handsome variety with his black hair and expressionless face - brush past him and start to sweep down the hall.
“We'll talk about this later, SunFei!” The blonde throws over his shoulder before they disappear down the stairwell.
Mitsuki knocks on the mostly closed door before making the decision to just go inside. It doesn't seem like Suo heard him anyways.
“I, uh,” Mitsuki mumbles as he pushes the door open, “didn't mean to eavesdrop.”
Suo stares at him for a second, but it feels like he looks through him. “Oh god you heard that? All of it?” His voice has a far away quality and his breathing takes on a quick, shallow rhythm.
“Uh,” Mitsuki begins. “Yes. Pretty sure the whole hall did.”
He watches as Suo's face crumbles for a split second before the brunette crouches in the middle of his own living room with his hands over his ears. Mitsuki doesn't move until he hears a sniffle and realizes, with no small amount of horror, that Suo is crying. His almost boyfriend is crying and Mitsuki is standing there with the door open like some kind of a… a… monster! He closes the door. Then flips the lock for good measure.
Not everyone likes to be touched, unexpectedly or otherwise, when they're upset, crying, panicking, or in some way emotionally vulnerable. And for someone like Suo? Guarded and wary and too jaded for someone so young? Well, Mitsuki would be his online anonymity that touching Suo right now would end badly. So instead of doing the one thing he wants to do most in the world at that moment, he sits next to Suo and waits. Orders them Chinese from the little shop tucked away on the alley off of Minamihara for delivery and waits some more.
Finally, Suo leans down onto his knees and leans sideways to fall into Mitsuki. It's always 50/50 on if the waiting game's scales will tip in Mitsuki's favor when it comes to Suo. Today the odds were definitely in his favor. He brings his arm up to loosely wrap around Suo's back.
“I, ‘m sorry,” Suo murmurs with a rasp that's mostly hidden by how his face is mashed awkwardly into Mitsuki's shoulder. “I didn't, they're not,” Suo's breath hitches harshly.
Mitsuki hugs him closer. “They were your brothers right?” He waits to feel Suo's nod and sighs. “I don't have the best relationship with my brothers, but I feel like they usually want what they think is best for you… even if it's not actually what's best.”
Suo hums and Mitsuki feels the vibration of it against his throat. It's totally the wrong moment to have the intrusive thought of how much he wants to feel that hum against his mouth. Instead he presses his cheek more firmly against the top of Suo's pretty head.
“What was the fight about?” Mitsuki asks quietly.
Suo hums again, as if the sound was the tool needed to gather his thoughts. He relaxes a bit more against Mitsuki then speaks. “I told them I wanted to quit studying chemistry and…” He trails off, readjusting himself to wrap his arms around himself now.
Mitsuki adjusts with him, lacing their fingers together as he does. He likes this silly, skittish boy so much.
“And,” Suo takes a big breath then lets both it and his next words out in a rush, “told them I want to go to culinary school. For pastry arts.”
“Ooh!” Mitsuki hopes he doesn't sound too excited.
Suo is a very talented home baker and Mitsuki along with their friends had been encouraging him to pursue it instead of chemistry. It was easy to see how much happier the brunette was when going over recipes than when he was reviewing chemical formulas. In fact, half the time when they were getting treats for good test scores… those treats were homemade goodies made in Suo's tiny kitchen and funded with his meager savings.
Apparently, Mitsuki failed at keeping the excitement out of his voice. He couldn't be mad about it. Not when it got a bubble of laughter out of Suo.
“Yes, yes,” Suo says as he pulls away from Mitsuki to sit up. “All of you convinced me.” He stands up, graceful as always, and stretches.
Mitsuki fails to hide his staring or that from his angle on the floor he can see straight up Suo's shirt. His almost boyfriend is hot. He wants to touch Suo everywhere.
Suo holds out a hand to him with a roll of his eye. “C'mon, let's move to the couch. The floor was hurting my hip.”
There were a myriad of thoughts that Mitsuki had about Suo and his hips, none of which involved this conversation or clothes. A topic for another time.
“Sounds good.” Mitsuki takes Suo's hand and lets him pull him to his feet. “My ass was falling asleep.”
It was lucky they stood up when they had because the food Mitsuki had ordered came not even two seconds later. What a treat it was to see Suo's expression shift from confused surprise into bashful happiness. It's so hard to not spoil Suo at every opportunity when he looks at Mitsuki like that. Sometimes Past Mitsuki really had his back. For background noise, Mitsuki logged into his own Netflix account to throw on a random show. Suo didn't have a tv, so his poor beat up laptop had to step up.
After they've eaten and Mitsuki has successfully poked, pulled, and prodded Suo into laying against him again, he breaks the silence they were left in when the show paused to ask if they were still watching. They weren't, for the record.
“Why were you fighting with your brothers over changing to culinary?” He runs his finger around the shell of Suo's ear to distract himself.
Suo reaches up to stop him and then just holds his hand. “I'm not from a very well off area, you know” he starts with a soft sigh. “The dojo my brothers and I inherited isn't doing very well either. Not that it was doing well before.” He mumbles that last part to himself.
Mitsuki takes his hand back so he can run his fingers through Suo's hair. A nice, soothing gesture for them both. With the added bonus of getting Suo to relax more.
“Getting to go to college,” Suo continues in a quiet voice, “is both a luxury and a privilege. Scholarships have helped but it’s a heavy cost for our already strained finances.”
“And changing means more cost?” Mitsuki asks.
The brunette buries his face into Mitsuki's chest and then sighs, deep and long. “Yes?”
“But that wasn't what the fight was about?”
Suo winces. “Yes and no? It was more…”
Mitsuki lets his fingers trail through the soft, pretty brown strands one more time before moving to rub circles into Suo's shoulder. The other boy traces the pattern on Mitsuki's shirt with a finger for a moment.
“It was more that they expected me to do the whole ‘go to university, get a degree in something practical, and get a good job’ thing,” Suo says.
It's quiet for a moment with Mitsuki mulls over the words. “They don't see culinary as practical?”
“It's not that,” Suo mumbles. “I guess they were shocked? And then confused. Of course cost plays a big factor in how they reacted.”
“Is that why all of you were shouting?” Mitsuki stares at the ceiling, fitting puzzle pieces into place in his head. “Because of the cost?”
“At the end, yes,” Suo sighs again. He's sighed a lot in both parts of this conversation. “I've worked out the additional costs and can find work to cover it. I just didn't expect them to…”
“To freak out and blow up?” Mitsuki quips.
“Yeah. Or for you to show up when you did,” Suo tilts his head back to look at Mitsuki. His brow is furrowed a little. “Why did you come over early?”
The little panicky, crying moment from earlier suddenly makes a lot more sense. Suo is very private about his family and his life outside of their college town. Mitsuki only knows he has brothers because of Nirei and Sakura. The details come from Suo afterwards, but the initial information had been shared by happenstance from the mouths of their friends. For Mitsuki to witness an argument between Suo and his brothers by accidentally eavesdropping? With all the messiness that the guy you're seeing in a romantic sense overhearing a private family moment could have? Yeah, no wonder Suo got so overwhelmed.
“I wanted to see you and got a little impatient,” Mitsuki shrugs. After a moment, he adds. “If I offered to help, would you let me?”
“Help how?” Suo asks after a tense, silent minute passes.
Mitsuki hates that he can hear the wariness. He hates that he knows it's nothing he has done to cause it and that there's nothing he can do for it but be patient.
He takes a deep breath, then laughs when it makes Suo move upwards. “I want to help you pay for it.”
Suo pushes up to hover over Mitsuki so he can look at him. “Pay for it? It? It, what?” His eye is nearly frantic in how it darts back and forth across Mitsuki's face.
“Pay for culinary school,” Mitsuki says honestly. “For anything you need for it. If I thought you'd accept, I'd offer to move you out of here and in with me.”
There's an undercurrent of anxiety and a hint of anger in Suo's voice as he speaks. “Why would you offer that? You can't just… just throw money at my problems. We… We aren't even-” he cuts himself off, frustration in his face.
“What if I just want to help the boy I really like get to do something that makes him happy?” Mitsuki uses Suo's hovering position against him to flip them. He keeps his voice soft and honest. “Is that still throwing money at your problems? Am I not allowed to want to help you be happy regardless of our relationship status?”
Suo's expression is somewhere between stunned at being flipped onto his back and confused at Mitsuki's words. It's ridiculously cute. Mitsuki wants to kiss him till they're both breathless and stupid, but that would defeat the point he was trying to make.
“I like you, Suo-chan. Like a lot,” Mitsuki tells him. “I'd love to be able to call you my boyfriend even. But that has nothing to do with me wanting to help you pay for culinary school or wanting you out of this really awful apartment.” As if to back him up, the neighbors on the other side of Suo's apartment start yelling and banging pots around. “Honestly,” Mitsuki snorts, “I just want you to be happy.”
Suo's eye is wide and his mouth is that funny little almost triangular shape it always falls into when he's particularly surprised. Mitsuki smiles at him, taking in the flour still smeared on his cheek and the way his throat bobs when he swallows. The blueish light from the kitchen casts dark shadows across Suo's face and makes the brown of his eye look nearly black.
Suo won't make eye contact with him when he says, “I'd like that.”
“Really? I can help you with culinary school?” Mitsuki feels a thrill shoot down his spine. Baby steps and all that jazz.
The brunette's face turns a pretty pink. “I was talking about the other thing.” Suo mumbles, almost pouting.
Mitsuki wants to kiss him. He ignores the feeling and instead, asks, “What other thing?”
Suo's blush gets darker and starts crawling down his neck. “The boyfriend thing.” He still won't look at Mitsuki.
“That's amazing. I'm telling everyone we know, I hope you realize.” Mitsuki beams at him and gets a shy smile in return. “Doesn't mean I'm dropping the conversation about the other thing,” he tells Suo pointedly.
“Can I think about it?” Suo's gaze has turned away again.
Mitsuki hums, as if considering the request. “Of course. I'm not going to not let you have a choice. Though I do want you to talk with me about it, don't just bottle it up and make a decision. Okay?” He eyes Suo, making a point to bob his head around to catch his eye.
Suo snorts at his antics. “Okay.”
Now Mitsuki gives in and kisses him like he's been thinking about since a forever ago.