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“Did you tie the horses down?”
“I'll tie you down,” Arthur muttered. He fastened the ropes with one more tug before settling onto the grass.
Merlin rolled his eyes and shifted beside him, poking a stick at their fire. The flames grew just a bit higher.
Bringing his knees up to rest his chin on, Arthur glared at the dancing red and orange. He was irritated. More impatient than irritated, but still.
They weren't supposed to be stopping now! Not when they were so close to their destination. Yes, it was well after dark and maybe he was a bit tired from their continuous travel, but the sooner they reached the village of Catrac the better.
The only reason Arthur had given in was for Merlin. They had been traveling for a continuous two days, which was to be an expected duty for a knight, not a servant. Merlin deserved a break. But then again, it's not as though Merlin was a regular servant. The boy looked as energetic as ever, pressing Arthur to stop because apparently he seemed too tired.
“You look like a grumpy rat,” Merlin shared.
Arthur turned his head slightly, knees brushing his chin. “We shouldn't have stopped. Catrac is just half a day away.”
“Oh come on, you looked like you were about to collapse into sludge,” Merlin protested. “A night's rest won't push us back as much as you're thinking. The other knights haven't even set out yet.”
It was true, but it didn't make Arthur feel any less annoyed at the unnecessary stop. In any case, he would rather they arrived sooner rather than later. He plucked the grass strands beneath his palm just to have something to do.
A small moment passed. They both watched the sparkling fire and listened to the quiet sounds of the forest. Until Merlin whispered, “I'm glad you care, Arthur.”
Arthur sighed and leaned back. “Of course. We have to warn them. I can't just let these innocent people die, especially not to my knights. Though, it is unfortunate that father believes Catrac is cursed with magic. He's got no idea how far from the truth that is.”
Merlin hummed. It was only with Merlin that Arthur dared to utter such words. It was only with Merlin that he felt so safe to do so.
“The people are innocent,” Arthur continued. “You remember how they greeted us, don't you? Just two weeks ago at that. I can't imagine that the children who tried to steal cabbage soup just to feed my dogs could be evil sorcerers.”
He sighed heavily. When Arthur was king, he'd rule differently. With peace rather than… whatever this was supposed to be.
“Of course not,” Merlin said, smiling at the ground. “Do you remember that lady at our cabin? She was amazing.”
Arthur snorted. “Amazing to you maybe. She called me a golden buffoon!"
“See, and I think that's what made her so amazing.”
Merlin laughed as Arthur shoved his shoulder. The beautiful chime warmed Arthur's chest more than the fire ever could.
He stared up at the sky, fingers digging into dirt. “I do have to say though, Merlin…”
Arthur faltered. He eyed the stars for courage to continue.
“Thank you for coming,” he finished. Merlin huffed beside him, laying down on his back.
“I'll always follow you,” Merlin promised. “No matter where you go. You'll never have to worry about that.”
Arthur stared at Merlin, throat aching in fondness. He shook his head, “I know. But I also know you don't have to. So thank you. You should know I'm grateful.”
Perhaps it was the tiredness in his bones that allowed Arthur to speak so freely. But for once, he was happy to comply with the openness. Merlin deserved to know he was appreciated every once and a while, even while being he was the worst servant in the five kingdoms.
He was more than a servant to Arthur. Much more than a title.
“Okay okay, stop talking now,” Merlin said, eyes unmistakably glinting in happiness. “You need rest if you want to get up early tomorrow.”
“I do not need rest–”
“Then the horses need rest, from your voice. Now shush.”
Arthur tried glaring, but it was absorbed by a yawn. Merlin shoved Arthur's soft, Camelot cloak into his chest. “Go on now, sleep.”
And with that, Merlin laid back down.
They should set someone to watch guard, but… Merlin needed to rest too. And he sure wouldn't if Arthur didn't rest as well.
Stubborn.
Arthur laid beside Merlin, gazing back up at the dark sky. They'd set out early tomorrow. But for now, maybe he could take a break. If not for him, then for his servant's sake.
Arthur cast one last glance at Merlin, who was curled in on his side adorably, and closed his eyes.
—
…What was that?
A low sound cut through Arthur's sleep, sharp and fast. The soft layer of unconsciousness pulled away slowly, awareness flooding in.
No… who was that?
Arthur suddenly jolted upright. His hand was already at his side on the hilt of his sword instinctively. He scanned the trees quickly, legs already moving to get up.
Another noise cut through the air, clearer than the last. Arthur froze, the danger in his veins mixing into something more confused.
Was that… Merlin?
Arthur turned to the side and eased back down to the grass. His breath caught as his eyes focused in the dark.
Again, a cry ripped through the air sending a stab through Arthur's chest. He scrambled to put his sword down.
“Merlin?” Arthur breathed. He placed a frantic hand on Merlin's chest, which was heaving rapidly, and used the other to brush up his servant's front hair.
Merlin's forehead was damp with sweat. Arthur slipped a hand through the dark hair to check for any injuries, his own breathing growing more panicked.
Merlin whined and shook his head. The faint firelight flickered across his face, eyes shut tight and expression tortured. It winded Arthur so much as it pained him. That look…
Arthur sat down on his heels as realization flooded through him. Was Merlin having a nightmare?
“Please… please–” Merlin gasped, fingers twitching where they were on his chest.
Arthur moved his sword behind him in a hurry and lifted Merlin's head onto his calves. He had his own fair share of nightmares. But they weren't like this. Why were Merlin's like this?
There were tears running down Merlin's face, quick and infinite. The sight made Arthur's heart hurt. He'd never seen Merlin cry this way. Not so terribly.
He hated it.
Arthur rubbed up and down Merlin’s shoulder. His mind was racing, concern etching through every thought.
“Arthur,” Merlin cried.
Arthur stilled at his name. He couldn't bear to hear Merlin sound like this. It hurt something deep in his soul.
Merlin kept repeating his name over and over, pleading and desperate. Arthur moved them both down gently until he was laying beside Merlin once more. This time, closer. He held Merlin to his chest, rubbing up and down his back softly.
“Arthur,” Merlin repeated.
“I'm right here,” Arthur whispered. He was surprised to find his own voice hoarse. “I'm here. Calm down, Merlin.”
“I'm sorry.” Merlin squeezed his hand, hard. “I'm so- please Arthur…”
A sour feeling coursed through his chest. Merlin was dreaming about Arthur. This nightmare was about him.
What could Arthur do to make Merlin sound so broken?
Arthur held Merlin closer. He draped the cloak over the both of them, holding Merlin's lower back firmly.
“Listen,” Arthur said quietly. “I don't know what's got you so… terrified. But please Merlin, calm down.”
Merlin's breath hitched, more tears sliding onto Arthur's neck.
He needed to stop this.
“I know you nicked my apple yesterday.” Arthur blurted.
…Why?
Arthur bit his lip and pressed his chin against Merlin's hair. “You weren't as subtle as you think, huh? I saw you giving it to my horse.”
Arthur rubbed a circle on Merlin's back, trying to soothe. “I also saw you trip on that log today. You weren't the best at hiding your fall, either. Honestly it's like you've got two left feet.”
The warm breath on Arthur's neck slowed down by a fraction. He continued talking.
“I also know why you prefer to stay at the shallow end of the forest during hunts. It's for the herbs, isn't it? I've seen you collecting them. I'm sure they're for Gaius.”
Arthur rambled on for a long time. He talked about every useless thing that could come to mind, from Merlin's favourite pastry he pretends he doesn't like to the way he stands by the window more often during crowded feasts. It was calming, in a way.
Slowly, Merlin stopped twitching beneath him. The cries ended with soft inhales, and eventually Merlin was finally breathing normally again.
Arthur pursed his lips together. Should he move? Would Merlin be fine waking up to this?
“Why'd you stop?”
…
Arthur pulled away just enough to meet Merlin's gaze.
“How…” Arthur narrowed his eyes. “How long have you been awake?”
“When did you start talking about my favourite tea?” Merlin retorted softly. His eyes were rimmed faintly with red.
Merlin's small smile faded as he looked down at Arthur's tunic. Its collar was wet from tears.
“I'm sorry,” Merlin whispered.
Arthur pulled Merlin back close, wrapping his arms around tighter. He wasn't normally one for these forms of intimate touch. But he really couldn't stand to see Merlin like… like that and do nothing.
“You've nothing to be sorry for,” Arthur said. “Idiot.”
Merlin took a sharp inhale, then laughed quietly.
“Thank you.”
Arthur let the seconds pass.
“...What were you dreaming about?” he asked softly.
Arthur felt Merlin stiffen in his arms. Immediately, he wished he could take the words back.
“I…” Merlin exhaled shakily. “Arthur, I can't-”
“You don't have to tell me now,” Arthur said. Not now, not when it makes you sound so terrified.
Merlin fell quiet. Slowly, he melted to comfort once more.
“Thank you,” Merlin whispered again. “I'll tell you someday, Arthur. I will.”
Arthur pulled the cloak tighter around Merlin.
“Go to sleep,” he said. “Clotpole.”
“My word.”
“Yeah yeah. Now shut up.”
Arthur felt Merlin smile against his neck. The touch sent ecstatic sparks down his spine.
As the forest grew silent once more, Arthur let his eyelids slip shut. Some day, he'd find whatever had caused Merlin so much pain and rip it by the throat. For now, though, he would settle. They'd talk about it soon.
Arthur weaved a hand through Merlin's hair once more. Drowsiness slurred through his veins. He brushed his lips against Merlin's forehead, featherlike and fond.
Good night, Merlin.
I love you.