Chapter Text
Beomgyu hates apartment hunting.
He’s seen four apartments and none of them are acceptable. Too many windows or not enough. Not in his price range. Too strict of rules for decorating. The place feels too creepy.
‘Do you even know what you want in an apartment?’ Yeonjun signs, and Beomgyu rolls his eyes.
‘I’ll know when I know,’ he signs.
The next apartment is smaller than what he’s used to, but the view is incredible. It looks over Seoul at the best height and angle. The perfect view to have when drinking coffee in the morning.
Beomgyu looks in the bedroom, which is a sky blue that brightens the room. He’s used to seeing white or cream colored walls in every apartment, so it’s a breath of fresh air.
“There’s also the roof,” the landlord says, and Yeonjun looks over at Beomgyu to see if he caught that. Beomgyu nods, and then they’re going up to the roof.
There’s a small garden on the roof. It’s beautiful and the view is only better up there than in his apartment. It’s magical to be surrounded by flowers while looking over the city.
‘This is it,’ he signs. ‘This is the one.’
He pays the deposit and first month rent before leaving. Yeonjun tells him they should celebrate because it’s been a miserable two weeks apartment hunting with him.
They get dinner and drinks, and Beomgyu thinks it’s the first good day he’s had in a while.
Beomgyu is entirely moved in and reading a book on his kindle while lying in bed, trying to ignore the feeling of loneliness of a new apartment. He's fine, really, but he's so used to having someone else with him that it's just different.
He's successfully ignoring the feeling of loneliness as he reads because he's so cozy under the blankets that all he thinks would make it perfect is a glass of wine. However, it's too late for alcohol since he has work in the morning.
He checks the time, and it's after midnight. If he doesn't want to be dead on his feet, he should sleep soon. One more chapter, though, he tells himself. He just needs to know what happens.
30 minutes later, he's turning off his kindle and putting it on his bedside table before getting up to turn off the lights. The air is chilly, but he was just under three blankets for hours, it's expected.
He's quick with turning off the lights and getting back in bed to avoid the cold air for too long. The warmth of his blankets warms him quickly, and he's adjusted to be completely comfortable under the blankets.
His eyes grow heavy, and he's on the verge of entering a dream when a gust of cold air hits him. It first hits his face, jolting him awake. He opens his eyes, but he's just greeted with darkness. The air is gone, as if it was a fluke, and he goes further under the covers to avoid the cold. Everything is fine until another gust of cold air hits him again. This time it goes through the blanket, not giving him anywhere to hide.
Beomgyu opens his eyes again, waiting for the air to warm up, but it doesn't. It only gets colder the longer he stays under the blankets, as if they can't save him. It's a couple minutes of waiting when he gets out of bed to investigate where the air is coming from.
He starts with the windows, because maybe the November air is breaking in through the cracks. However, the windows are closed and locked. No air getting in through there as he runs his fingers along the seams.
Then he goes to the thermostat, and the heat is already on. He turns it up to see if that will help, even though if he's not feeling the heat, the heater may just be broken.
He goes back to bed, gets comfortable under the blankets, and it's almost like the apartment is warming back up. No lingering coldness to jolt him awake. His eyes are closed and he sighs happily before slowly drifting off.
He's just about asleep when a gust of cold air hits him again. He keeps his eyes closed, hoping he'll get used to it, but it doesn't stop. It begins seeping through the blanket and into his bones.
He barely sleeps.
The cold air at night continues for four days when he finally reaches out to the landlord about it.
His landlord tells him he'll check it out, but he doesn't tell him when. It’s not a priority matter, so it’ll be dealt with when he has the chance.
Normally Beomgyu would be patient with him, but he's only slept six hours in the last four days. His patience is nearing an end.
'It feels like he's just waiting for me to leave,' Beomgyu complains to Yeonjun while they're out at dinner on the fifth night. "No sense of urgency whatsoever."
'While I think it’s weird, I don’t think he’s purposefully ignoring you. He’s a busy man,' Yeonjun signs.
Beomgyu whines about how Yeonjun is meant to be on his side, and he goes on with his life.
'Maybe you should take something to sleep?' Yeonjun suggests. 'Go to an urgent care tomorrow.'
It sounds like the best idea Beomgyu has ever heard. So he goes, explains he's not been sleeping the last week. The doctor takes pity on him and prescribes him something he's never heard of before.
That night he gets comfortable in bed after turning the lights off and taking the medication. He's out before the cold air even begins. It's hard to wake up in the morning, but he's actually rested and able to function, so he doesn't care too much.
His landlord still doesn't come to check on the problem, which Beomgyu guesses will be a regular occurrence.
It starts happening during the day, which is when Yeonjun comes over to check it out. Yeonjun has several patients cancel last minute, so he leaves work early. Beomgyu follows in his footsteps by leaving work a little earlier than usual to meet him at Beomgyu's apartment.
Yeonjun goes through the same steps Beomgyu did as he checks the window and the heater, which is working because it's so warm when the cold air isn't there. He checks the vent, which is closed.
'I'm not seeing anything wrong,' Yeonjun signs. 'Is it cold in every room?'
'Yes, it's like it follows me,' Beomgyu signs. 'It's right on my face, which I don't even know how that's possible.'
Yeonjun does one more check before giving up. 'If it gets worse, just bother your landlord again.'
They order takeout, and Yeonjun tells Beomgyu about the guy he's seeing. His name is Taehyun, and they met at a mutual friend's party.
‘He knows what he wants, and that’s just something I need at my age,’ Yeonjun signs.
‘How old is he?’
Yeonjun hesitates, looking away from Beomgyu. ‘He’s 25.’
‘Wow, younger than me,’ Beomgyu teases.
Yeonjun rolls his eyes, but then he jumps in his seat. He looks around him before at Beomgyu. “I think there’s,” he says before turning his head too much to where Beomgyu can't read his lips.
Beomgyu taps the table, and Yeonjun looks at him with wide eyes. 'What did you say?' Beomgyu signs.
'There's someone here, I think.' Yeonjun gets out of his seat. 'I'm going to check.' He walks throughout the apartment. When he comes back, he's alone and doesn't look as freaked out. 'I guess I'm hearing things. There's no one here.'
The excitement dies down as the suns sets behind the tall buildings and their food is just about gone. It's time for Yeonjun to go home, but Beomgyu doesn't want him to leave yet.
He's forgotten about the loneliness he's felt every night as he sits across from Yeonjun. It's relaxing to have someone there again. It just shows how it's been too long since he's lived alone. Beomgyu used to be better about being alone—preferred it—but now it leaves a hollow feeling in his chest.
‘I better get going,’ Yeonjun signs. ‘Make sure to lock the door when I leave. Someone could break in.'
‘Yes, dad,’ Beomgyu signs, and Yeonjun rolls his eyes. ‘Text me when you get home.’
Yeonjun agrees and then he’s out the door, and Beomgyu is alone.
Beomgyu sits at the dining room table as beer cans slowly surround him. He may regret this in the morning, but he doesn't care right now. The hollow feeling in his chest only grows to consume him whole. His loneliness is something he's fighting, and he's not winning.
It's his fourth can, and there's a pleasant buzz to him. It's the feeling he looks for when he drinks. Although he likes the taste, he prefers the feeling it brings him. He doesn't mind drinking cheap, shitty alcohol if it makes him feel good.
He's scrolling through Twitter when the table shakes. He quickly looks up to see a man standing at the other end of the table. Beomgyu jumps, and his drinks spills on the table, flowing over into the floor.
'No! Not the table!' the man signs, and Beomgyu isn't sure if he's more surprised about a stranger being in his apartment or that the stranger knows sign. 'Clean that up now!'
'Who are you and what are you doing in my apartment?' Beomgyu signs, and the man's brows furrow.
‘Your apartment? This is my apartment.’
Beomgyu stares at him, unsure what to even think. He takes him in for a minute. The short black hair that brushes against his eyebrows. The white T-shirt and light blue jeans.
‘No, this is my apartment. I have the paperwork to prove it,’ Beomgyu signs, and the man rolls his eyes.
‘I do too,’ he signs back. 'I have mail to prove it.'
The man throws mail on the table, and Beomgyu reaches over to grab it. The address is the right one with the name "Choi Soobin" clearly on it. He looks up at the man.
'How am I supposed to know you're Soobin?' Beomgyu asks.
'Let me show you my ID,' the man signs. He goes to reach into his pocket, only to find it empty. He reaches in the other, which is also empty. 'Let me get it from my bag.'
The man walks toward the bedroom, and Beomgyu is immediately following him. He's not letting him get out of his sight. When they get to the door, Beomgyu waits for the man to open the door, but instead he walks right through it.
Beomgyu completely stops, frozen in place.
What the fuck did he just see?
He quickly hurries to his room, opening the door and finding no one there. He stands at the door and doesn't know what to do before turning around and looking around the rest of the apartment.
Beomgyu stops at the dining room table, where there's beer all over the table and on the floor beneath it. There's mail on the table, but that doesn't mean someone else threw it at him. Yeonjun could've put it on the table when he was there earlier. He's been known to do things like that.
The mail belongs to Choi Soobin, which is where Beomgyu got the name from. He saw it on the mail and created something in his head.
He sits down and stares at the wall, trying to wrap his head around what happened. He can't. He honestly doesn't even understand what happened.
Beomgyu cleans up the beer. It's already sticky against the table and floor. He pours out the rest of the beer left in the can.
When he sits on his bed, it's hot and stuffy in his room. He fears turning it down in case it turns cold again and he has to walk through the apartment to turn it up again.
He lays on top of his blankets in his day clothes as he stares at the ceiling. He doesn't sleep.
Beomgyu has always gone to Yeonjun for everything. He's the first person Beomgyu turns to and has been since they were children.
Yeonjun was the first friend to learn sign language for him. They no longer had to carry notebooks and pens around to communicate as he learned alongside Beomgyu.
Yeonjun was the person who told him he didn't have to wear hearing aids if he hated them so much. He said Beomgyu didn't owe it to anyone to wear them. People should accept Beomgyu as he is, and if they didn't, it was their fault.
He helped Beomgyu in university, even though they were different majors and years. He's played translator for years. He's always been there when Beomgyu needed someone.
BEOMGYU: can we meet up tonight?
BEOMGYU: there's something i want to talk about
YEONJUN: Yeah.
YEONJUN: Tell me time and place, and I'll be there.
It's still early in the night with Yeonjun still in his work clothes when they meet at the restaurant. His suit is pristine, even after hours of wearing it. Beomgyu still can't wrap his head around a therapist wearing a suit, but Yeonjun has always done it.
'Hey, you ready?' Yeonjun asks, and then they're going inside. 'We've not been here in a while,' Yeonjun signs as they sit down. 'Any special reason why this place?'
Because it has only good memories from university when it was the special meal after big exams or finals week. They would put their money together and share a meal because it was all they could afford. Beomgyu probably shouldn't have such fond memories of it, but he does.
'Just craving it,' he signs instead of explaining he needs the comfort of good memories right now.
Yeonjun orders for both of them and the waiter leaves them alone. Conversation naturally goes to how their days went. Beomgyu finished part of a big project at work that he's amazed he even accomplished with how out of it he was today. Yeonjun had some difficult sessions, but he's confident in his patients' abilities of getting better.
There's food in front of them, and they're not talking as they eat. Beomgyu keeps watching Yeonjun, waiting for the right time to tell him about last night—if he can manage to get the words out.
'Do you want to go—'
Beomgyu doesn't pay attention to the end of Yeonjun's sentence before he starts signing. 'What do I do if I'm seeing people who aren't there?'
Yeonjun stops completely, hands still in the air, as he stares at Beomgyu.
'Well, it depends how you know they're not actually there,' Yeonjun signs slowly, as if he's considering his words carefully.
'He walked through a door.'
Beomgyu tries to seem casual so he doesn't come off as insane, because he knows how he sounds right now. The last thing he needs is Yeonjun freaking out.
They sit there for a minute as Yeonjun stares at him, probably trying to figure out how to respond to that. Beomgyu doesn't know what he'd say if he were in Yeonjun's shoes.
'Did this happen to you?' Yeonjun asks as Beomgyu takes a drink of his beer.
'Maybe?' he signs with a shrug.
Neither of them move for a minute as they stare at each other. Beomgyu didn't think it would be so intense telling him this, but he didn't know what to expect.
'Beomgyu, I need you to be really honest with me right now,' Yeonjun signs, his movements fast. 'What's going on?'
This is too much, Beomgyu thinks. It's too intense as Yeonjun's expression turns so serious. They've had "therapy sessions," where Beomgyu pretended to be a patient as he came up with the most ridiculous problems. They did it a lot while Yeonjun was getting his masters so he could prepare for anything.
He's never seen Yeonjun actually worried like this.
Beomgyu forces a small laugh. 'I'm just fucking with you. I wanted to see your reaction.'
Yeonjun's worried expression melts into something a little more than annoyed.
'Not funny,' he signs. 'I was really worried.'
Beomgyu rolls his eyes, but that had been a worry he had about telling Yeonjun. Yeonjun has years of experience with psychiatric patients and seen so many things. He's probably had to send people to psychiatric hospitals before.
Beomgyu wonders how hard it'd be for Yeonjun to do that to him.
'Sorry, but you should've seen the look on your face,' Beomgyu signs, even though the look on Yeonjun's face hadn't been funny. It'd been heart wrenching and terrifying.
Yeonjun rolls his eyes. 'Oh, fuck you.'
They finish their food and pay before leaving. The November air bites at Beomgyu's face a they walk around. Yeonjun offered going to his place since it's closer, but Beomgyu fears if they go there, he'll confess he was serious about the hallucination.
'So, how's the first week living alone been?' Yeonjun asks once they've found a park bench to sit on. 'Everything you dreamed of?'
No, but Beomgyu can't say that.
'It's been great,' he lies. 'Best week of my life.'
Yeonjun doesn't look convinced, which isn't surprising. He knows everything there is to know about Beomgyu. He knows his signs and behaviors better than he knows any patient he's had for years.
'Are you sure you're ready to live alone again?' Yeonjun asks. 'It's been a while and it's a big step. It's okay if you're not ready.'
Beomgyu should've expected to be seen through so quickly. He should've expected for Yeonjun to not even wait to ask him that. No going along with Beomgyu, even just for a second.
'No, I'm ready,' Beomgyu signs quickly, even though right now, he doesn't know.
Yeonjun's worried expression as he sits in front of Beomgyu only deepens the worry in Beomgyu's chest that moving out of his parents' house was a terrible mistake. He stayed up wondering that last night after what happened.
'Okay, just know you can always stay with me if you need to,' Yeonjun signs. 'I bet your dad would let you come back too if you really needed to.'
Beomgyu shakes his head. 'No, don't need any of that. I'm doing just fine on my own.'
'If you say so.'
Yeonjun brings up Taehyun again. They're going on a date tomorrow, so Beomgyu better not need him for anything. Beomgyu rolls his eyes, but wishes him luck for his date.
'You're going to need it,' he signs, and Yeonjun swats him.
Then they're walking back to their cars, and Beomgyu doesn't want to go home. He worries about what will happen if he goes home. Will he be plagued by hallucinations again?
He can't run away from his apartment forever, though. The only other acceptable option is staying in a hotel, and he's not sure how acceptable that really is.
Beomgyu makes it to his door when his neighbor is exiting his own apartment. He waves, and his neighbor stops and slowly waves back.
'Hello, I'm Jungwon,' his neighbor clumsily fingerspells as he speaks. Beomgyu can tell he's not fluent—probably can't make it through an entire conversation, but he appreciates the effort.
'I'm Beomgyu,' he fingerspells slowly before signing and mouthing, 'I can read lips kind of.'
Jungwon lights up at that, and Beomgyu is used to that reaction.
"When did you move in?" Jungwon asks, and he tries to sign at the same time, but it's not good.
'A week ago,' Beomgyu signs slowly. 'I meant to introduce myself sooner.'
Jungwon's brows furrow, probably from not understanding what Beomgyu said.
"I didn't know anyone was allowed to live there," Jungwon says, and it takes a while with how much he fingerspells.
Beomgyu’s brows furrow. 'What?'
Jungwon immediately looks like he regrets saying that.
"It's just been empty for so long. I thought there was something wrong with it."
The landlord never mentioned it being empty for an extended period of time or anything being wrong with it. He just showed Beomgyu the roof and said rent came with everything included.
'Nothing wrong with it. It's nice.' Beomgyu watches Jungwon process his sign. 'Do you want to come in?'
Jungwon aggressively shakes his head. "No!" His eyes are wide, and he looks terrified before composing himself. "No, thank you."
Beomgyu slowly nods. 'Yeah, maybe another time.'
Jungwon hurries to the stairs and is gone before Beomgyu can say bye. He’s not sure he even wants to understand what that was about.
His apartment is empty when he enters it. No one in any room, and it looks just like it did when he left this morning.
After checking every room again, he puts his things by the front door before going on with his normal routine.
Everything is normal, and he's waiting for something to change. He's waiting for something to jump out at him and prove he's insane.
Nothing does. The cold air doesn't make an appearance. He takes his medicine and goes to sleep.
Days go by with everything being okay. The cold air gently makes an appearance, but it's nowhere near as bad as it has been. No hallucinations as far as he knows. Things are okay.
He goes through work without an issue, even with new projects being introduced. It's nothing hard, though. Simple, but will take time.
Life is okay, and the future is starting to look up.
Beomgyu is getting home from hanging out with Yeonjun. They hung out at Yeonjun's apartment, just watching a drama like they used to before life got so busy. It was nice to have a laid back night that's easy to coordinate and costs nothing.
He gets to his front door and goes to unlock it to see it's already unlocked. Beomgyu slowly opens the door, and he's greeted with a mess everywhere. Trash and paperwork covering the floor. His lamp in the living room is knocked over and silverware all over the floor in the kitchen.
It looks like someone broke in, and they would've had to because he didn't leave this mess before he left.
His heart races as he slowly walks into the apartment. He doesn't know if anyone is still in there. He doesn't know what to do.
Beomgyu steps over the papers on the floor before seeing the living room is completely empty before walking to his bedroom, which has clothes everywhere and torn up sheets, to find it empty. He checks the closet, and that's empty too. Finally the bathroom is empty too.
He FaceTimes Yeonjun after making sure he's alone, and Yeonjun answers after the second ring. Beomgyu puts his phone on the kitchen counter before quickly signing.
'Someone broke into my house,' he signs, and Yeonjun's eyes widen.
'Why do you say that?' Yeonjun asks, and Beomgyu picks up his phone and flips the camera to show Yeonjun the mess left in his apartment. It's when he realizes he's shaking. 'I'm coming over.'
They hang up, and Beomgyu's eyes well with tears. What it going on right now? Why is this happening to him? He holds back crying, though. He won't break.
He looks around the apartment to see if anything is missing, and it seems like everything is still there. Why would someone break into his apartment just to make a mess?
He doesn't touch the paper or trash on the floor. He sits on the couch instead, and when Yeonjun texts him that he's there, he gets up and opens the front door.
'Did you start picking up?' Yeonjun asks immediately, and Beomgyu shakes his head.
Yeonjun looks around, and there's a look of frustration and fear in his expression. He walks through the apartment as Beomgyu stands at the front door. It's closed, but he doesn't remember who closed it.
'You sit down, and I'll clean,' Yeonjun signs, and Beomgyu nods, even though he wants to help too.
He sits on the couch, and after a minute of watching Yeonjun collect the papers all over the floor, he starts crying. It's ugly crying that makes his shoulders heave and has him feeling physically ill.
Yeonjun stops working and sits next to him. He pulls Beomgyu in to rest his head against his chest, and Beomgyu continues to cry. Beomgyu cries until he can't anymore, and Yeonjun rubs his back the entire time.
Beomgyu helps clean up the trash before getting some things in an overnight bag and goes to Yeonjun's apartment for the night.
It'll just be for tonight, he tells Yeonjun. Yeonjun doesn't need to worry about him sticking around forever. Yeonjun tells him he can stay as long as he needs to without judgment. Yeonjun's home is his home too.
Beomgyu lies on the made up couch, and stares into the darkness. How will he handle going back home tomorrow as he lives scared the person will come back? Maybe they come back to finish what they came for, which could be confronting him.
Without his medicine, it takes a long time to fall asleep.
Beomgyu is having a bad day.
It's been a long day of a big project they're wanting done way too soon to be deemed reasonable. He forgot his lunch at home and the cafeteria was closed, so all he ate was a granola bar he found shoved in one of his desk drawers. He's not even sure if it's from him.
It was raining when he left work, so he got soaked on his way to his car. Normally he carries a towel in his car, but he took out the other one to wash it.
Then he gets stuck in severe traffic—traffic that makes him want to bash his head into the steering wheel.
When he gets to his apartment, the elevator is out, so he has to walk up five flights of stairs. He's dragging his feet by the time he gets to his apartment, and all he wants is a beer and to sleep.
He decides he has too many keychains when he can't get to his house key immediately and starts figuring out which ones he will take off once he's inside. Anything for it to be easier to get inside his apartment.
He closes the door behind him and is met with the man from the other night in the middle of his living room.
Beomgyu stares at him, and he should be frightened. He's literally going insane.
'I found my wallet,' the man signs, and Beomgyu laughs slightly. What the fuck is wrong with his brain?
'Okay,' Beomgyu signs, because why not interact with this hallucination? Why not embrace going insane? 'Show me.'
The man walks across the room, and shoves an ID in Beomgyu's face, not letting him touch the ID.
Choi Soobin, born on December 5, and lives at this address. Beomgyu is amazed at what his brain is capable of coming up with.
'See, I told you,' Soobin signs, and Beomgyu numbly nods.
'Yeah, you did.'
He walks past Soobin and grabs a beer from the fridge. He opens it, takes a drink, and then sits on his couch. Soobin follows behind him, trying to get his attention to sign but Beomgyu doesn't give it.
'What are you still doing in my house?' Soobin signs once Beomgyu is seated. Beomgyu opens Netflix and finds something to watch. 'Hey, pay attention to me!'
'Why? You're not real,' Beomgyu signs, and Soobin looks offended by that. He puffs his chest out and starts speaking so fast Beomgyu can't read his lips.
Beomgyu thought his mind would be a little kinder to him and at least make his hallucination completely deaf instead of whatever this is.
'Woah, I don't know what you're saying,' Beomgyu signs quickly. 'Slow down or use sign.'
Soobin calms down a little, but now he's just signing so fast that Beomgyu isn't sure he's using actual words.
'Dude, chill out, please,' Beomgyu signs, and Soobin stops all together for a minute. He's breathing hard as he stares at Beomgyu, and Beomgyu just stares back, bewildered. 'Are you good now?'
'No, because you don't think I'm real,' Soobin signs, and Beomgyu rolls his eyes.
'Because you're not. My stressed out brain created you. You're a figment of my imagination.'
Soobin pauses as he looks over Beomgyu's head into the ktchen. 'What if I can prove I'm real?'
Beomgyu's brows furrow. 'I really don't think you can.'
'Go to the bathroom and look in the cabinet under the sink. There are scratch marks on the left wall from my old cat,' Soobin signs. When Beomgyu doesn't get up, he motions for him to hurry. 'Go. Go.'
Beomgyu sighs but gets up. He's not checked out the cabinet under the sink. Yeonjun put some toilet paper there when he moved in, but it's not been long enough for him to need to get more out.
Soobin follows behind him, and Beomgyu crouches down in front of the sink before throwing the door open. He pulls some toilet paper out before looking at the left wall to find scratch marks.
This has to be part of the hallucination, just like the ID. Beomgyu's brain is just really creative and in overdrive right now.
He looks at Soobin. 'I'm probably making this up too.'
Soobin throws his head back in annoyance, and Beomgyu wonders why he made such a grumpy and annoying hallucination. Couldn't he have come up with something better?
'Feel the marks. They're really there.'
Beomgyu sighs before putting his hand in there and expects to feel the smoothness of wood beneath his fingers. However, he feels the scratches in the wood. They're deeper than they look, and he keeps running his fingers over the wood to see if maybe they'll go away and the wood become smooth.
Tactile hallucinations exist, he knows that, but he also knows they're rare. Yeonjun used him to study in university, and Beomgyu retained some of the material Yeonjun learned.
Beomgyu would rather entertain the idea that Soobin is somehow real than think he's having tactile hallucinations.
He looks at Soobin, who looks smug. 'Why the fuck was your cat in a cabinet?'
'It was before I baby proofed the place. He got inside the cabinet and trapped himself,' Soobin signs. 'It wasn't on purpose.'
Beomgyu sits on the bathroom floor, surrounded by toilet paper, and just stares at Soobin. 'What are you if you're not a hallucination?'
'Some would call me a ghost.'
Beomgyu raises a brow. 'And what would you call yourself?'
Soobin pauses for a moment, thinking it over. 'A phantom.'
Beomgyu wonders if seeing a ghost is just another way to say you're having hallucinations. However, if Soobin is a ghost, then Beomgyu can get rid of him.
'I think ghost fits you better,' Beomgyu signs, and Soobin frowns.
'I think phantom is a better fit. Sounds mature,' Soobin signs, and Beomgyu rolls his eyes. He gets off the floor, and suddenly cold air hits him. He looks at Soobin, who is staring at him. 'It's not nice to roll your eyes at people.'
'You're the one causing the cold air!' Beomgyu signs. 'You're the one making my life a living hell!'
'I was trying to get you to leave because you're in my apartment,' Soobin signs.
'Is it really your apartment if you're dead?' Beomgyu asks, and Soobin glares at him. 'Unless you died here. Then I guess I can see you calling it yours forever.'
'I didn't die here,' Soobin signs.
'Then where did you die?'
Soobin doesn't respond. He just stares at Beomgyu, and Beomgyu is waiting. He's waiting for an explanation because if Soobin isn't a hallucination, then he can't fill in the blanks.
'I don't know,' Soobin finally admits. 'All I know is my name is Choi Soobin and I live in this apartment.'
Beomgyu sits up straighter as he tilts his head. 'You don't remember anything else? No other details?'
'No, nothing.'
Beomgyu puts the toilet paper back in the cabinet before getting up. 'That's okay. I'll help you move on without that.'
Soobin's eyes widen. 'What do you mean by that?'
'Obviously I'll get someone to help you go into the light or whatever.'
'That's not what I want,' Soobin signs aggressively, and Beomgyu worries he's going to have the outburst again where he speaks and signs so fast there's no way it's Korean.
'You're dead. You don't know what you want,' Beomgyu signs before walking through him. It chills him to the bone to where he does a full body shiver.
Soobin is suddenly in front of him. 'I know I want you to leave. This is my house.'
'But it's not. I think ownership goes to the person who is alive,' Beomgyu signs, and Soobin isn't happy. His frown only grows the longer they talk about this. 'It's okay. You'll be in a better place soon anyway.'
'I don't want to be in a better place. I want to be here, where I've lived for five years,' Soobin signs, and Beomgyu doesn't know why Soobin would want to stay on Earth if there is a "better place" out there. This apartment really isn't that special that it trumps everything else in the universe.
'Whatever. Let's revisit it in the morning. I just want a beer and to sleep.'
'And I want you to leave.'
'Not happening,' Beomgyu signs, annoyed. Are they really going to get stuck in this loop of a conversation? 'I live here, whether you like it or not.'
'I can make you leave,' Soobin signs, and Beomgyu tilts his head slightly.
'If that's true, then why haven't you done it yet?'
Soobin doesn't respond outside of causing the temperature to drop tremendously. Beomgyu goes into room, the cold quickly settling into his skin, and puts on several layers of clothes like he's been doing since he's gotten here.
When he leaves his room, Soobin is nowhere to be found, but the temperature doesn't get warmer.
He spends his night bundled up as he watches television and drinks beer.
The plan to have Soobin move on begins with a Naver search for mediums in Seoul.
Beomgyu has to go through the insane phony sites, but the first person is a sweet old woman. He hands her the piece of paper with the entire story on it before she starts going around the apartment. She walks past Soobin three times.
"I didn't find anything," she writes. "Maybe you're imagining it?"
Beomgyu shrugs before paying her for her time.
The next person is a man and woman duo, who go around the apartment with ghost equipment. They also miss Soobin entirely, but they say they definitely feel something. A young male presence. At least they have that.
There's a third and fourth, and nothing is working.
'You would never believe what they're saying in there,' Soobin signs at the fifth attempt. 'They're saying you should give up and move out.'
'They are not,' Beomgyu signs. 'Stop lying.'
It's moments like this Beomgyu is reminded Soobin isn't completely deaf like he is. He's not asked what the situation is, but he wants to. He just doesn't know how to say it without coming off as offensive.
Beomgyu is going to run out of money if it keeps going on like this. He's eating lunch the canteen when Kai stops in front of him.
Beomgyu looks at him and smiles.
"Hey, Beomgyu," Kai says with his shaky sign.
Kai comes off very unconfident in his sign skills, but Beomgyu can actually have a conversation with him unlike most people. He said his cousin is deaf, but he doesn't see her super often so it's been a bit since he's used it regularly.
'Hey, Kai,' Beomgyu signs. 'How can I help you?'
"I was wondering if we could eat lunch together," Kai suggests, and that's when Beomgyu sees the lunchbox under Kai's arm.
Beomgyu nods as he motions to the chair across from him. 'Yeah, take a seat!'
They've had lunch together before and there's not always a lot of conversation. It's nice spending it with someone, though. Beomgyu likes his alone time, but he also enjoys time with Kai.
There's not been any conversation for a couple minutes when Beomgyu finally comes up with something to say.
'Do you believe in ghosts?' Beomgyu asks, and Kai nods.
"I swear my house was haunted when I was a kid," Kai says. "My younger sister is terrified of ghosts because of it."
Beomgyu sits up straighter as he stares at Kai. 'Did you ever see them?'
Kai shakes his head. "No, but I always knew when they were there. It was freaky."
'I think my apartment is haunted,' Beomgyu signs, and Kai stares at him.
"Did you just say your apartent is haunted?"
Beomgyu nods. 'Yes. Will you come check it out? I'll pay you.'
"You don't need to pay me, but sure, I'll come check it out," Kai says. "Today after work?"
Beomgyu nods. 'Yes, thank you.'
It's awkward for a minute before Kai brings up the last staff meeting where Soojun said the stupidest thing. Lunch quickly comes to an end, and Beomgyu wishes it went on a little longer so he could spend more time with Kai.
"I'll come by when I clock out so we can go to your apartment," Kai says, and Beomgyu nods.
'See you then,' he signs, and Kai waves bye for then.
Beomgyu thinks about Kai coming over as he works until he gets stuck on part of a code that won't work. Every time he goes to run it, nothing that's supposed to happen happens. It's easy to lose time when this happens.
There's a knock on his desk, shaking it, and he flinches as he looks to see Kai standing there. It's after 5 now, and Beomgyu would normally stay later to get this code finished, but he doesn't want Kai to wait on him.
"You ready to go soon?" Kai asks, and Beomgyu nods before saving all of his work. He refuses to lose all the work he just did.
As they're leaving, Kai admits he takes the subway so he'll need a ride to Beomgyu's apartment. They're in Beomgyu's car when Beomgyu hands over the AUX cord that he usually uses to charge his phone. He used to play music so loud it vibrated his car, but he was scolded by his parents enough he stopped.
'Feel free to play whatever you want,' Beomgyu signs. 'If it has a good beat, then turn it up.'
Kai declines, which Beomgyu doesn't understand. Yeonjun loves taking the AUX cord in Beomgyu's car and blasting it to where Beomgyu feels the vibrations in his bones.
(He doesn't know if Yeonjun does that because he actually enjoys the music or because he wants Beomgyu to experience it with him.)
Thankfully traffic isn't bad today, so it's only a 10 minute drive to his apartment. The ride has him comparing everything to Yeonjun, which makes him realize maybe he needs to make more friends outside of Yeonjun. If Kai isn't turned off after this, maybe they can really become friends.
They make it up the elevator and Beomgyu messes with his keys to open the door. They enter, and Soobin is on the couch.
'Welcome to my home,' Beomgyu signs, and Kai nods.
"It's very nice here," Kai says as he walks in.
'What is this guy doing here?' Soobin signs. 'Don't tell me you brought a hook up over.'
When Kai gets closer to the living room, he stops and turns to Beomgyu. "Yeah, I definitely feel something here. Someone who is never happy with what you do."
'Yes! That's exactly him!' Beomgyu signs, and Kai nods as he walks around some more.
He stops in front of Soobin and points right at him before signing. "He's right here, isn't he?"
"What the fuck?" Soobin says as Beomgyu's eyes widen.
'Do you see him too?' Beomgyu asks, and Kai shakes his head.
"No, but I just know he's right here." He looks directly at Soobin, even though he apparently can't see Soobin. Kai says something, but Beomgyu can't make it out.
Beomgyu walks over to him, and Kai looks over with an embarrassd expression.
"Sorry, I meant to look at you," he says. "I was saying he can't leave yet. Not until he remembers what happened."
'Not what I wanted to hear,' Beomgyu signs, and Kai laughs a little.
"I know," he says before pausing. "I know we're not close, but if you ever need someone to talk to, then I'm here."
Beomgyu's brows furrow. 'What are you talking about?'
"It can be hard losing someone, even if it's been months," Kai says, and Beomgyu's heart stops.
'I don't know what you're talking about,' Beomgyu signs quickly, and Kai's brows furrow.
"What was that?" he asks, and Soobin is behind him laughing.
'Let me guess, some girl broke up with you,' Soobin signs, and it makes Beomgyu nauseous. All of this is overwhelming him.
What does Kai know?
'I don't know what you're talking about,' Beomgyu signs slower. 'I'm going to get some air.'
He goes up to the rooftop for the first time since he saw it at the viewing. It's beautiful, especially with the sunset. He lets the November air nip at him because it's not nearly as cold as Soobin's temperature control.
Beomgyu sits on one of the benches up there. Embarrassment about leaving Kai in his apartment builds up in his chest, but he can't get himself to go back right away.
He feels something brush against his shoulder and looks to find Soobin sitting next to him.
'Hey,' Soobin signs. 'Kai said it wasn't a breakup.'
'What did he say?' Beomgyu asks, and Soobin sighs.
'It's a family matter and that it shouldn't be laughed at.'
Beomgyu looks out at Seoul and lets the peacefulness of it settle in his bones. He looks back at Soobin, who is watching him intently with careful eyes. It's a completely different look than Beomgyu's seen from him before.
'I don't want to talk about it,' he signs. 'I'm not ready to.'
Soobin nods. 'Okay, but when you're ready, I'm here. I won't be a dick, I promise.'
Beomgyu nods a little, and it's Soobin's turn to look over Seoul. He's thinking over what to say next, and Beomgyu gives him the time until Soobin looks at him again.
'I want to know what happened to me, but I'm scared. What if I don't like the person I was?' Soobin asks, and Beomgyu's heart hurts for him. 'What if I haven't moved on because I did something bad and need to accept the consequences of it?'
'I don't think so. You may be annoying, but you're not a bad person,' Beomgyu signs. 'I'll help you, though. We can find out together.
Soobin's expression breaks out into relief. 'Thank you. In return, I'll stop trying to kick you out.'
Beomgyu chuckles. 'Thank you. That'll make my life easier,' he signs.
They sit there for a moment before Beomgyu remembers Kai is still in his apartment. He hurries down there and finds Kai sitting on the couch, playing on his phone.
'I'm so sorry. I just got overwhelmed,' Beomgyu signs, and Kai shakes his head as he pockets his phone.
"Don't worry. I kind of sprang it on you without thinking. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone," Kai says, and Beomgyu smiles.
'Thank you, Kai. That really does mean a lot,' Beomgyu signs, and Soobin isn't there. Beomgyu wonders where he is. 'How about we go get something to eat as a way to repay you?'
"You don't need to repay me, but I feel like you're going to anyway," Kai says, and Beomgyu nods. "I'll let you pick."
It's nice spending time with Kai. It's easy and natural. Beomgyu can see himself doing this again, but next time not bring him to his apartment to confirm there's a ghost there.
"This was fun," Kai says as Beomgyu drops him off. "We should do it again sometime."
Beomgyu nods. 'Yeah. Let me just get the ghost out of my apartment first.'
Kai laughs as he nods. "Goodnight, Beomgyu. I'll see you tomorrow."
Then Beomgyu is driving home alone, watching the buildings pass by. He thinks over where to start with finding out who Soobin is. There's an internet search or maybe asking around the building about him.
He opens his apartment door, and the temperature is normal. There's no coldness making it difficult to even be in his apartment. Soobin is keeping his side of the deal to stop trying to kick him out.
It's the first night he sleeps without taking medication.