Work Text:
Hey Mel, I meant to say bye before leaving but I think you went up to the roof with everyone else? Thanks again for your help today. Excited to see you tomorrow :)
—Langdon
Hey Mel! I feel like Whitaker has been looking extra Whitaker-y this week. Like
—Langdon
(It’s ok to admit you laughed)
Hey Mel! I hope your first night shift today goes well. Remember you’re not allowed to like it more than the day shift (joke but not really)
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Hope you don’t have a million c diff cases again tonight. Just to be safe, here’s some travel toothpaste—just put a dab of it when you double mask and everything will be minty fresh!
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Ok, heard on the mint smell, here’s some Vicks, which should work too! Emma said she prefers it to toothpaste too. :) But anyway fingers crossed for no c diff outbreak!!
—Langdon
Hey Mel! What do vampires and the night shift have in common? They’re both batty!
(Batty like bats like vampires turn into bats, batty like crazy because night shift is crazy. I hope this made you smile even though it’s terrible.)
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Last night on night shift and then you get to come back to the land of the living!! I We miss you. Maybe you can screw up intentionally tonight so Abbot and Shen ask for you not to come back? (Joke.)
—Langdon
Hey Mel! I feel like you’d also be a fan of Snapple facts? TIL right handed people tend to chew food on the right side and lefties chew on the left. I have follow up questions, including who’s funding this kind of research.
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Felt weird to put your charger back in your locker without also leaving a note, even though I don’t really have anything to say. Thanks for letting me borrow it!
—Langdon
Hey Mel! I’m trying to look busy at Central right now so that my patient’s parents stop staring at me, but none of the computers are open. When I grabbed a post it I just automatically addressed it to you lol. Still putting it in your locker because I bet it’ll make you smile—ha! I know you’re smiling right now! :)
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Thanks for the charger again. Tell Becca I say hi and enjoy your movie night!
—Langdon
Snapple fact: Cows give more milk when they listen to music. Again, who is funding this research? This is helping me cut down my caffeine intake though, I’m very incentivized to see what the next fact is
Hey Mel! Thanks for letting me borrow your charger! I hope you have a great night!
—Langdon
Snapple fact: Many butterflies and moths are able to taste with their feet. Imagine if we could do that. Would we find ways to have flavored socks? What would we do about the sweat situation?
Hey Mel! Thanks for lending me your charger again. Pro tip, when your wife kicks you out of the house, bring a charger with you so you don’t have to rely on your colleagues to keep your phone alive. Definitely the kind of wisdom you imagined getting from your senior resident, huh?
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Sorry if that last note made you uncomfortable, I should have made it clearer that it was a joke! I mean, it’s true that I forgot a charger when I moved out, but I shouldn’t that was I don’t want to cross any boundaries or anything. Anyway hope you have a great evening!
—Langdon
Hey Mel! Sorry for a second note today but I’m also sorry I didn’t talk to you about all of the separation stuff in the first place, I shouldn’t have just made a joke about it in a note. I’m not very good at talking about it but I’m working on it. Thanks for your patience and your friendship. :)
—Langdon
Snapple fact: On average a strawberry has 200 seeds on it. I have questions about strawberry seed removal processes.
Hey Mel! Thanks for the cookies. I didn’t know that cookies are traditional to cheer up people whose marriages are crashing and burning but I definitely feel better now! I’ll bring the tupperware back once I’ve finished them. So tomorrow probably LOL. See you then :)
—Langdon
Snapple fact: A lemon contains more sugar than a strawberry. This one is blowing my mind I can’t even pretend to be cool about it
Wait is it just because lemons are way bigger than strawberries? My mind is no longer blown.
Hey Mel! Here’s your tupperware and a little gift: Penny drew this picture of me as the cookie monster because of how many cookies she saw me eat. Thanks for helping me find new ways to make my kids respect me less. (Joke!)
—Langdon
Snapple fact: Jack-O-Lanterns were originally made out of turnips. WHAT!! I want to look into this but I also want to try to carve a turnip now??
Hey Mel, I can’t believe I don’t have your number? Here’s mine—please text or call if you ever need a ride in the future!! Sorry about your car!
—Frank
Snapple fact: Strawberries contain more vitamin C than oranges. wow oranges have a great PR team huh?
Hey Mel! Meant to tell you earlier but I liked the two braids today. Fun change :)
—Frank
Hey Mel! I know I could just text you instead of leaving these notes now, but if the way Santos talks about it is any indication, I think they make you smile, and that’s reason enough to continue. Anyway: remind me to tell you what Princess told me (yes I feel like a middle schooler) about Dr. Abbot and Dr. Mohan!!! —Frank
Hey Mel! Night shift is soooooo boring but I don’t know if that’s just ‘cause time moves slower in the pitt when we aren’t on shift together. I always forget how funny Shen is tho so there’s that
—Frank
Hey Mel! Does Abbot make this face at you all the time or is it just a me thing? It makes me so nervous
—Frank
Hey Mel! Shen is funny but DANGEROUS my caffeine intake is even worse than the height of my Red Bull days and not a Snapple fact to be found...also did you know he’s from Boston? It makes the Dunkin' thing make more sense. I’d never thought to ask before.
—Frank
Hey Mel let’s play the world’s slowest game of tic tac toe across shifts. You can start:
Oh my God Mel remind me at hand off to tell you about the twins who came in, I have to see your face when you hear this story
MEL WE HAD SUCH A GOOD VISITOR AT 2AM TODAY:
Hey Mel! Only one night shift left and then we’ll be back together I’ll be back in the land of sunshine and happiness (aka getting to see you smile). Hope you haven’t been too lonely with me ;)
—Frank
Hey Mel, the bookstores I mentioned today were City of Asylum (which is literally like 4 blocks from the hospital, I can’t believe you haven’t been!!) and Beyond Bedtime Books (in Dormont). I’d be happy to go with you anytime if you want to check them out!
—Frank
Snapple fact (finally working on my caffeine again now that I’m free of Shen): The watermelon seed-spitting world record is about 70 feet. this is insane and it makes me want to have a watermelon seed spitting contest in the pitt
Not IN the pitt I meant like with the other people who work here. We’d go to a park or something. Somebody’s gotta have a hidden talent though. My money’s on Whitaker, it seems like the kind of thing you do in bumfuck, NE
Snapple fact: To take lumps out of a bag of sugar, place it in the refrigerator for 24 hours. this feels more like Snapple life advice than a Snapple fact
Hey Mel, I’m not sure what happened but earlier I walked into a room and saw this:
—Frank
Hey Mel, you left before I could say bye :( hope everything’s ok! The patient I was with would NOT STOP TALKING and I kept trying to leave but she just kept saying things. And they weren’t even about her at-home care or anything. It must be hard to come into the ED alone I guess?Anyway I guess I’ll probably see you in the morning before you see this but it was weird not to say bye!
—Frank
Hey Mel, extremely belated but here are some (lumpy, very strangely sized) cookies that Tanner, Penny, and I made for you as thanks for your cookies last month! Pretty proud of the percentage of dough that made it to the oven, they are not as sneaky as they think they are lol
—Frank
Mel. Are we going to have a baked goods polite off where we just keep thanking each other and then making the other person feel like they should return the favor? I’m not mad, just wondering if this should be a permanent update to my monthly grocery budget or what
That was a joke btw I’m not so broke that I can’t buy the ingredients to make cookies. What’re your thoughts on brownies?
Snapple fact: A single coffee tree produces only about a pound of coffee beans per year. Whatttt that’s actually crazy did you know that??
Mellllllllllllllllllll shifts are so slowwwww and boringgggg without you. Dana keeps shooing me and my “restless energy” away from central and then Santos keeps swooping the interesting cases. I blame the hospital for not just scheduling all our shifts together lol
Hey Mel, here’s your tupperware back with another Penny original! Daddy the cookie monster returns. I didn’t know the cookie monster dabbled in brownies but maybe she’s just a visionary?
—Frank
Snapple fact: To clean paint off your hands, use olive oil – it softens the paint and makes it easy to remove. More Snapple life advice not facts but this seems good to know? But also messy in a different way? Seems inconvenient to have oil all over your hands? I guess it’d be fine if somebody else is there to help.
Mel can you help with this crossword, I’m going crazy. Just the two words left
Hey Mel, realized when you were asking about running earlier I should have said I’d be happy to go for a run with you anytime! I know it can be scary to try something new but I’ve been running forever and am happy to help however makes sense. Or not if that’s weird haha!
—Frank
Hey Mel, P, T, & I see your brownies and raise you CHOCOLATE CHIP BROWNIES. Enjoy.
—Frank
Snapple fact: The can opener was invented 48 years after the can. what....what were they doing before that?
Blueberry muffins are Tanner’s new favorite food!! Thank you!! Maybe I should be bribing you to bake every time I have the kids so I can distract them from the fact that we’re hanging out for the afternoon in a sad pre-divorce apartment lol. Here’s your tupperware, which is so nice btw did you get special ones for baked goods?? —Frank
Mel I can’t stop laughing, Abbot just walked straight into a wall when Mohan took her hair down. Literally like: 
Hey Mel, thanks for telling me about St. Denis Medical, I’ll have to check it out! Maybe we could hang out and watch it together? I’d really like to hang out with you away from work You could finally see my sad pre-divorce apt lol I’m not trying to be weird Have a nice day off!
—Frank
Hey Mel, who do you think from the pitt would last the longest in a zombie apocalypse? Can’t tell if Abbot’s the obvious answer or if he would look around and be like “yeah seems like it’s time to die.” Is that too dark? Sorry. Bored without you again
—Frank
I guess I don’t need to always say hey Mel and sign these, it’s not like you have another post it note buddy. Or do you??? Wow Mel can’t believe you’d cheat on me like that, I expected more post it faithfulness from you smhJOKING all of that is a joke
Oops what I was going to originally say: can we talk before you leave and find a time to watch St. Denis?? :)
Snapple fact: To make one pound of honey, a honeybee must tap about two million flowers. CRAZY THAT’S CRAZY but also one pound of honey sounds like a lot?When I looked this up I also learned that your name comes from the word honey bee! That’s so cute!! Frank’s origins aren’t as cute lol
(Before you ask: my name is Frank, not Francis, but it seems like Frank as a name comes from Francis as well as the Franks. Francis is thought to mean free or freeman. Definitely not cute)
Sorry if I’m being weird today. This is so dumb but I thought people would notice when I took my ring off and it seems like literally nobody even cares? I don’t get this place, some things that seem like they don’t matter at all become huge deals and then things that might genuinely matter are just ignored??
P, T, & I present: chocolate chip banana bread!!! Realizing right now that we’ve only ever made you chocolate chip things, which I think might be very sneaky of Tanner because he definitely stole some out of the bag. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree huh? (Joke!!)
Mel, I think that Emma would like to get boba WITH you, not just know your favorite places!! New friend alert!!! But don’t become better friends than we are maybe you can ask her if she’d want to grab some together?
Why are rounds so boring today? HAHAHA you looked so scandalized when I passed you that note. It did of course make me want to do it again
Snapple fact: Chewing gum while peeling onions will prevent you from crying. Again life advice not really a fact but I bet this helps people
St. Denis is so funny and I’m glad it’s about the nurses so much but also I’m really confused about the number of doctors who work there? Can’t tell if it’s just because we work at a teaching hospital or what. It’s been bugging me all shift lol
Reviews are in: the Langdons love your cinnamon rolls! Wow!! Penny asked when we can make them and I had to admit that I have no idea how to make cinnamon rolls that don’t come out of a tube. Pillsbury rolls are on the next grocery list lol
Loving the braids again! :))))
Just finalized dates for this month with Abby, can we talk before you leave to find a time for St. Denis? :)
Thanks for lending me your charger!! Fun throwback huh? (I wasn’t kicked out of my home this time I just forgot to plug my phone in after we were texting last night oops)
P, T, & I went back to basics, look how normally shaped these cookies are!! Tanner measured them out with his spoon lol. Also realized I should just use your tupperware to give you our baked goods instead of returning your nice tupperware and then giving you my shitty containers salvaged from take out lol
You’re really hitting it off with Dr. Wen today huh? He seems nice I guess
Have you ever noticed that Javadi’s eyes take up like half her face?? Every time I think they can’t possibly get bigger I’m proven wrong
Let me know how Becca’s tour of MH with Dr. Wen and his wife go! Hope it’s a good fit for his cousin!
Snapple fact: In the Middle Ages, chicken soup was considered an aphrodisiac. ....why
This reminds me though the deli by my house just expanded their soup menu and their chicken noodle is killer, we should pick up from there before St. Denis next time
Hey! Here’s a pack of hair ties since you mentioned running low! I’m pretty sure they’re the same kind you use but lmk if not. I got some for my place too just in case lol
Shifts without you are so boringgggg. Maybe I can say we need to be scheduled together as an accommodation with the PHP or something? Joking (unless you think it would work?)
Snapple fact: Squirrels lose more than half of the nuts they hide. That is so fucking funny, also puts the squirrel from Ice Age in perspective
Wait but how do we know this!!! WHO IS FUNDING THE RESEARCH MEL
Just realized you and Emma could do matching braids sometime, how cute fun would that be?
Hey Mel, I was ordering some new socks and remembered you mentioning that you wanted to try out compression socks, so here are some for you to test out! No big deal if you don’t like them, I’m sure someone else on the floor would. :)
Snapple fact: The giant panda can eat up to 83 lbs of bamboo a day. wtf that’s like two Tanners????
Had a dream we worked in St. Denis LOL. Princess was having the time of her life. How do you think Dana and Alex would get along? Want to watch another episode tonight?
Some extra protein bars I grabbed at Costco! Feel free to redistribute if you don’t like them lol
Snapple fact: The most popular ice cream flavor is vanilla. nothing wrong with vanilla sometimes :)
Hey is everything ok? You seemed upset after we worked on Jenny’s case but I haven’t been able to catch you since then to talk. Hope you’re ok.
Seriously what’s going on? You looked totally normal and happy talking with Mohan and then disappear when I try to talk??? Did I do something??
Mohan looked at me like I’m an idiot when I asked what’s going on????? Talk to me Mel
I don’t get it we didn’t disagree on Jenny’s treatment or anything??
I will stick a post it note on your head if that’s what it takes to get a response
Langdon: Please stop sticking Post-It notes on my computer. I’m trying to chart. —Mel
Why did Princess ask when I got back together with Abby???????????? Why is that the first time she’s acknowledged the separation to my face??? What is happening today
Jesus Christ Mel do you think I un-separated from Abby and decided you should learn that when I tell a PATIENT that I’m married???
Frank: We can talk after the shift is over. —Mel
That’s hours away and this could be addressed in MINUTES if you listened (or read whatever) Mel. I’m as almost-divorced as I’ve been for months. I just said that to get Jenny to stop hitting on me. I wouldn’t lie to you!!!
I don’t think you’re even reading these anymore which is absurd because NOTHING IS GOING ON WITH ME AND ABBY God Mel everyone who’s ever seen us knows I’m crazy about you
DON’T READ THAT ONE I DIDN’T THINK YOU WOULD READ IT IGNORE THAT
Frank: I’ll be taking a break in the ambulance bay in 10 minutes. You are welcome to join me. —Mel
I’ll be there. I’ll be the one sweating bullets.
You don’t need to worry :) Now please let me finish these charts.
Snapple fact: kissing Mel King is proven to make Frank Langdon’s day better.*
*(research still undergoing peer review process, but author is confident in findings; could benefit from collecting additional data)This research is privately funded btw don’t worry about where your tax dollars are going
You look so pretty today (and every day) :) sometimes I’m jealous of patients who are having the worst days and then look up and have the hottest doctor of all time (you), but then I remember how we met on the worst day ever and I looked up and there you were :)
me today:
Thanks for lending me your charger even if it’s your fault I didn’t remember to plug my phone in last night in the first place wink wink
Hi Mel :) it’s very hard to act normal around you now :) maybe I need to start writing down the work inappropriate things I keep thinking so I can remember them for later? Or are post it notes too unsexy xxx Frank
Snapple fact: There are 18 different animal shapes in the animal cracker zoo. did you like animal crackers as a kid? Penny bites the heads off first like a psychopath. we’re keeping an eye on it
Today’s NSFW thoughts (not actually that NSFW just not things I should say out loud lol):
-You’re so beautiful. It’s actually insane how good you look even under the worst lights ever.
-I keep wanting to kiss you and it’s so rude that I can’t
-It’s hot that you think post its are sexy. Have I pavlov’d you?
-I liked it when you shut that annoying EMT down. That glare was hot
-I can’t stop thinking about last night
I regret to say this strategy was a mistake, need to go distract myself now lol
Snapple fact: Relative to size, the tongue is the strongest muscle in the human body.
Mel, I have to be honest with you. I’ve gotten this fact before, but I could only think of dirty things to say about it, so I never put it in your locker. After last night, I think this now speaks for itself ;)
x Frank
live footage from that patient room:
Hi honey, I’m sorry I had to run early, Abby’s sister went into labor this morning and we didn’t have back up for Tanner’s pick up. I’m going to stay at the house with them overnight (or until Abby comes home.) I can’t wait to see you tomorrow. :)
xxxxx Frank
Snapple fact: eating Mel King out is proven to make Frank Langdon’s week better.*
*(research still undergoing peer review process, but author is confident in findings; could benefit from collecting additional data)
GOOD MORNING MEL!
By the time you’re reading this, I’ll be at WORK BOOOOOOO! It was so nice to see you sleeping in for once, though, so I’ll probably be in a good enough mood that Dana will side eye me all day. It’s weird to write this on real paper instead of a post it not lol but I don’t see any post it notes on your desk? You’re just so unbelievably cute. I hope you slept so well. I can’t wait to see you as soon as humanly possible.
xxxxxxxx guess who
Frank: I found the orange and pink Post-Its on your desk and also the stack of Snapple facts? Have you been writing Post-Its at home and then bringing them to work? That’s so sweet. I love you. :)
—Mel
Wow huge win that you think it’s sweet not pathetic! Hope that doesn’t change when you learn I also have post its in the car and sometimes write them in the car before coming in lol. For example:Snapple fact: Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. <- not sure if it’s life advice or just a fact? Should I start refrigerating rubber bands?also,
I LOVE YOU TOO :) ♥