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It starts when they are in different rooms at the hospital, Lucy wakes up suddenly and Tim is not there. She can’t reach for him, he’s not there. It’s a startling revelation and she doesn’t want to go back to sleep. Not when her mind goes to places she can’t control and doesn’t stop. The nightmares just come in and Tim is actually gone. Not just one room over.
So she crawls out of the hospital bed and sneaks into Tim’s room. Her fiancé is fast asleep and doesn’t even wake when she slips into bed. She feels his heart beating, hears his soft breathing and soon she is going to sleep.
Hopefully a peaceful sleep.
***
Tim wakes up with Lucy wrapped around him and he wonders how he didn’t wake up when she slipped in next to him.
He doesn’t mind thought. He presses a kiss to the top of her head and she stirs a little. She opens her eyes and then smiles when she sees him.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” He replies. “What are you doing in my bed?” Lucy freezes and her face falls a little.
“I couldn’t sleep.” She says but there’s something else behind it like she’s not telling him everything. “Sorry, I can—” But Tim shakes his head and holds her in place.
“Don’t you dare.” He says. He’s spent enough nights and days without her. He’s not about to let her go again. “We can see if you can be moved to this room.”
“Okay.” Lucy says and she looks relieved. He gives her another kiss, and lets out a breath. “That sounds good.”
Tim hums softly, and gives her another kiss. It will be okay once she’s moved and then they get out of the hospital.
They will be okay.
***
Lucy has another nightmare when they get back home and this time it’s worse.
For one, Tim doesn’t survive in the nightmare and Lucy is left confused and heartbroken. And for two, Tim is right next to her and he wakes when she does. He doesn’t ask any question and just pulls her close.
They fall asleep soon after that and wrapped around each other. It’s the first time since she stuck into Tim’s bed at the hospital that she felt at ease.
She can feel his heartbeat and hear his breathing. He’s alive and he’s okay and that’s all that matters.
She’s alive.
She still has her engagement ring, and soon they would be planning their life together.
She scoots closer to Tim, and her mind soon goes blank.
***
Lucy has another nightmare but this time Tim isn’t right next to her. He doesn’t ask any come in soon after looking confused as to why she’s awake. She doesn’t want to talk about it. She wishes she didn’t have these nightmares.
But—
She doesn’t need Tim to worry about her. She doesn’t need him to have nightmares too.
(Who knows he might be already having them).
She does scoot closer as soon as he’s near and clings on to him. He smells like himself, he smells like home. It’s exactly what he needs.
“Are you okay?” He asks after a few minutes. Lucy nods and looks up at him.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?” He asks. Lucy nods again. She’s not sure why she’s not telling him. He would understand, he would help her through them.
But yet—
She gets closer to him and for the time being she is at ease.
Because she’s next to her fiancé the one who loved her more than anything. The one who would always bring her peace and ease.
And that’s exactly what she needs.
***
Tim notices Lucy acting weird, it’s after a long night and she won’t let go of him. He doesn’t mind, he really doesn’t mind. He likes being close to her too. But she just seems jumpy, and she wakes up in the middle of the night and just lays there. He doesn’t bother her but he knows she’s awake.
She is quiet too, and he wouldn’t think much of it but it just seems odd. She is usually chatty in the morning (after being able to sleep in). But these days, she just eats her breakfast, drinks her coffee and presses a long kiss to his cheek.
It’s odd.
“Lucy,” he says softly. “What’s going on?” She gives him a look, and then puts her dishes in the dishwasher.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You just seem quiet.” He says. “I don’t know. I know you haven’t been getting sleep.” Lucy freezes and ducks her head down.
“No.” She finally admits. “Not really.”
“Any reason why?” He asks. Lucy blows out a breath and then looks at him in the eyes.
“It’s probably the nightmares where you die and I can’t save you.” She says. “I see that…cell every time I close my eyes.” Tim’s heart drops a little. He has had nightmares too, more or less the same that Lucy was having except she dies.
He knows exactly what she is going through. He just wishes he could help her more because he couldn’t even help himself.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asks.
“I had the first one in the hospital.” She says. Something clicks in his brain.
Oh.
“That’s why you climbed into my bed.” He says. Lucy gives him a sheepish smile.
“Yes.” She says. “I’m sorry Tim. I didn’t want to worry you or add more to your plate. I thought they would go away.”
“I worry everyday.” Tim says. “But we are going through this together Luce. Shared trauma.” Lucy swallows but nods.
“Right.”
“I know this hasn’t been easy and it’s not how I thought my proposal would go or the start of our engagement.” He says. “But we are home and we are safe. We will get through this okay? But you have to talk to me otherwise—” Lucy nods and she seems to understand. Tim feels himself relaxing a little.
“Okay.” She says and he pulls her into a hug. He takes a deep breath and breathes her in.
He’s home.
He’s finally home.
Exactly where he belongs.