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The brunet jolted awake with a gasp, sweat soaking his skin, throat thick and heartbeat pounding in his ears. He stared up at the canopy with burning eyes, chest heaving as hazy eyes the color of poison swam in his vision, obscuring the teal drapes above him. Each breath he took was thick with the scent of blood, the metallic smell filling his lungs and coating his tongue with the taste of iron.
He swallowed thickly, hands that felt sticky with a coat of blood clutching at the sweat-soaked sheets, he could feel his heart racing in his fingers.
Slow deep breaths.
Slow deep breaths.
He felt as though there was a boulder on his chest, trapping him, crushing the breath from him as he strained for air.
Slow deep breaths, Leo.
Slow deep breaths.
He felt like he was going to choke.
Slowdeepbreathsslowdeepbreathsslowdeepbreathsslowdeepbreathsslowdeepbreathsslowdeepbreathsslowdeepbreathsslowdeepbrea-
A small barely even audible noise came from beside him and a warm hand fell gently over the brunet's racing heart. Leo flinched, turning his head took more effort than it should have but once he did his breathing slowly began to wind down as he registered what he was seeing.
Kal was still asleep, gold eyelashes resting on full lightly flushed cheeks, fluttering with each slow breath. Leo drew in another deep breath, cheeks warming as he very carefully rolled over to gaze at his fiancé with still-watery grey-blue eyes. At least Kal seemed to be untormented by nightmares, his brow smooth with contentment and a slight smile curving his heart-shaped lips.
"You've seen a face like that before." a small voice in the back of Leo's mind whispered. Leo tried to quash the thought before it could take root, but it spread too quickly, images coming as unbidden as a flood.
(No, no, no) He'd seen hair like that before, pulled up in a high ponytail or twisted in a long braid. (No, no)
He'd seen lips like that before, (No, no, no, no) though thinner and adorned with a twisted scar, scowling, leering, sharp teeth bared. (Stop it, stop it)
He'd seen (No. No. No. Stop.) skin like that before though not nearly as touchable, (Stop, stop, stop) silky or in the form of a soft-bodied cuddly prince with a pale scar over his throat. (Nononono)
The eyes returned with a fury, poison-green nearly filling his vision to the brim, the brunet fighting to shove away the voice in his head that whispered traitorously, "You've seen eyes like that before. . .".
Leo rolled over quickly, clenching his eyes shut and rubbing the heels of his hands over them harshly.
No, no, no, no.
He was not going to see him in Kal, he wasn't.
Leo drew in a strangled gasp of air, the heavy feeling returning. He felt like he was being crushed between two stones like a stubborn nut.
Outside, outside, being outside would be so much better than this, fresh air, no walls. He'd be able to breathe outside, deep breaths of nice cool fresh air.
The brunet swung his legs out of bed, shivering slightly as he jammed his feet into slippers -the soft worried 'oh, Leo' Kal would make if he found out he ended up freezing himself going out barefoot in this weather was worse than any punishment- and stood up. There was a little squeak from the small pillow beside Leo's, and he turned around to find Toby uncurling from a tight ball.
Leo smiled weakly and stopped for a moment to give the mouse a little pet on the head, whispering as quietly as possible, "I'm just gonna go outside for a bit, Buddy. You can go back to sleep.". Toby squeaked again -it almost sounded concerned-, nuzzling against Leo's hand before the brunet drew it away with what he hoped was a reassuring smile.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The blond stirred slowly, smacking his lips softly as his hand flexed, clenching around a surprising nothing. Kal patted the other side of the bed a couple of times in different places, his eyes still shut but found it cold and empty.
"Oh, Leo. . ." he said softly, almost sad as he sat up and reached over to the bedside table for one of the housecoats folded on top of it. Kal wrapped himself up in the soft blue fabric, yawning as he slid his feet into slippers and stood, shivering in the cool air; he should probably go see what was going on with the fire to make it so cold in here, but Leo was more important.
Toby squeaked from his pillow when Kal walked by him, the second housecoat bundled up in his arms. Kalceran smiled and held out his hand for Toby to climb onto, which the mouse happily accepted. "Want to come with, Toby?". Toby squeaked again, clambering onto Kal's shoulder and nuzzling against the blond's cheek.
Kal hummed, rubbing his finger against Toby's fluffy cheek. "You're sweet.". Bluebell eyes squinted up when Kal pushed open the balcony door, wincing both at the gust of freezing air that washed over him and at the thick coat of snow over the stone flooring. Nevertheless, Kal stepped out, shivering at the wetness soaking into his feet and pulling his housecoat tighter around him.
"Leo, I know you're up there." Kal called up at the roof above him, leaning slightly over the railing, his voice gentle. "Could you come down here please? It's cold.".
Kal waited a moment, moving only to cup Toby against his chest to protect the small rodent from the cold and was rewarded with Leo swinging himself down from the roof onto the balcony. "Hi, Cori," Kal said warmly, holding out the spare coat with one hand, lips curved in a slight smile. "I brought this for you.".
Leo looked as though he wasn't fully there, grey-blue eyes dull, not fully looking at Kal, blinking slowly with a low murmur as he took the housecoat from the blond, "Oh. . . Thanks.". "Come inside, please?" Kal asked, offering a hand. "You don't have to talk about it, and I won't touch you if you don't want me too, I just want to get out of the snow.".
Leo thought for a moment before nodding and slipping his hand into Kal's. "Thank you, Treasure." Kal said, shutting the door firmly behind them and toeing off his soaked slippers with a soft relieved sigh. "Want to go back to bed? Or something else?".
"I think I'm gonna sit for a little while," Leo said, sounding tired, voice low and raspy as if he had been crying or trying not to. "But you can go back to sleep.". Kalceran shook his head and sat down on the window seat, patting the cushion beside him in offering. "I'll stay up with you, I'm not all that tired. Sit with me?".
The brunet obliged, sitting down next to his fiancé and drawing his knees up to his chest as though he was trying to take up as little space as possible. "Want any water? Your throat sounds like it hurts." Kal asked, adding before Leo could speak, "You don't have to speak, just nod or shake your head.".
Leocoril gave a thin smile, resting his cheek on his knees with a little nod, letting out a cracked whisper of, "That'd be nice. Thanks, Kal.". Kal gave the brunet a small smile as warm as sunshine, brushing his hand over Leo's knuckles before standing up. "Of course, Cori.".
Leo waited until Kal returned with a small glass of water to say softly, "I'm sorry.". "For what, Leo?" Kal asked, sounding genuinely confused, tilting his head as he allowed Toby to crawl from his arm over onto Leo's. The brunet took a sip from his glass before making a loose gesture with his free hand. "Acting like this. Being a burden.".
Kal's face softened, the prince reaching over to rest a hand on Leo's knee. "Oh, Leo, you have nothing to apologize for, nothing at all. You're not a burden in the slightest, not to me.". Leo drew in a shaky breath, tears spilling over as he choked out a weak little, "Thank you. Can I. . . Have a hug? Please?".
Kal's eyes curved up into warm crescents of lake blue, and he held open his arms welcomingly, Leo falling into them after setting aside his water and nestling his face against the slope of the blond's neck, frozen nose cold against his skin. Kal shifted slightly, settling in more comfortably before beginning to smooth a hand through Leo's damp curls, rubbing slow circles into his back with his free hand.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Kal asked gently, holding back a giggle at the tickly kiss Leo pressed to his neck, right at the end of his scar. "Not really." Leo mumbled, curling up his legs and cuddling in closer to his fiancé with a small sniffle.
"That's alright." Kal said into Leo's hair, pressing a kiss there. "Could you let me up for a moment? I want to grab something.". "Sure," Leo agreed, almost reluctantly, releasing Kal and picking his glass back up to sip on the remainder of his water.
"I'll be really quick." Kalceran promised with a parting kiss to Leo's cheek.
Leocoril sat in silence for a moment, absently stroking Toby on the head with his finger as he sipped his water before abruptly setting the cup down and getting up to retrieve a soft blue blanket, wrapping it around himself like a cloak as he shivered, the cold hitting him now that his fiancé's warm body was no longer tucked against him.
Kal returned just as the brunet was sitting back down, the blond carrying a small steaming bowl and a little towel with him. "Warm water," Kal said by way of explanation as he retook his seat and dunked the towel into the bowl. "I thought it'd be nice since you were out in the cold. Give me your hands?".
Leo obliged, laying his hands in Kal's, his face softening when the warm cloth met his skin. "That feels nice.". Kal smiled, cupping Leo's hands in both of his for extra warmth as the brunet's fingers slowly unthawed to a temperature that matched that of the blond's warm skin. "I'm glad. Face next?".
Leo leaned forward in answer, allowing Kal to run the towel over his face -focusing on his cold as ice nose-, his body finally coming down from the high of fear. Kal yawned as he set the bowl down on the table with a silent promise to deal with it in the morning and rubbed an eye, holding out an arm for Leo. "Want me to hold you again?" Kal asked sleepily, fighting back a second yawn.
"That'd be nice, but you can go to bed." Leo said, downing the last of his water and taking off his blanket to drape over Kal's legs. "You look tired.". "No, I'm alright, thank you. I can stay up longer." Kal said, Leo not missing the way his fiancé's eyes had begun to droop. "Unless you want to?".
Well, it wasn't like he had to sleep if he did get in bed and he did feel a lot better now, almost as if he could sleep undisturbed, though he wouldn't put money on it.
Besides, Kal looked exhausted, it was only fair for Leo to go back to bed to let him sleep, after all he was the reason Kal had gotten up in the first place.
(He ignored the faint voice in his head that whispered that he could sneak out again once Kal had fallen asleep, which he couldn't, the snow was coming down much too heavy now and he didn't feel all that compressed anymore anyway)
Leo stood up and offered his hands to his fiancé. "I want to. Let's go back to bed.". "You're sure?" Kal asked, getting to his feet and swaying slightly where he stood, though to his credit he didn't sound as tired as he looked, but there was a definite slur to his words.
Leo looked at the shadows beneath Kal's eyes and nodded, not only was Kal tired Leo was cold, and cuddles sounded extremely nice no matter what his mind was trying to tell him. "Mhm.".
Kal got into bed first, the blond discarding his housecoat and getting into bed with a pleased sigh, lifting one side of the blanket and patting the mattress with a sweet "Come here" that quashed any remaining voices that claimed Leo should go back out to the roof where there was fresh air and no walls as far as the eye could see or that he should at least leave the room, trade it for somewhere with more breathing room -even though their suite of rooms were the at least one of the largest in the palace from what Leo had seen.
Leo kicked off his thoroughly soaked slippers and flopped down on the bed beside his fiancé, careful not to squish Toby, who clambered off of him over to his pillow after pressing his nose to Leo's cheek with a little squeak. "Night, Toby." Leo said, giving his pet a little skritch on the head before rolling over to face the blond, who was looking at him with lake-blue eyes heavily lidded with sleep.
Leo studied Kal in the low light for a moment, light freckles forming constellations over smooth rosy skin, gold hair falling just short of his shoulder blades, and crystal blue eyes looking out from beneath fluttery feather-thick lashes -and Kal called him 'Treasure', Leo wasn't the one who looked like a thief's daydream-, how could he possibly have seen him in this person? There wasn't a drop of poison green in sight.
"Leo?" Kal asked, shaking Leo out of his head, holding out his arms for his fiancé. "Do you still want me to hold you?". "Huh? Oh, sorry, I was thinking." Leo took the prince's hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the back. "Can I hold you instead?".
Kal tucked his head beneath Leo's chin and looped an arm over the brunet's waist with a content noise and a soft murmur of, "Of course you can.". Leo buried his face in the blond's golden hair, muttering into the silk-softness, "G'night, Kal. I love you.".
"Hm, night, Leo." Kal mumbled, already sounding half-asleep. "Love you too. . .".
After a while Leo began to drift off as well, his body softening against his fiancé's and his breathing slowing to match that of the sleeping prince's as he fell into a peaceful dreamless doze.