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It was silent save for the soft ticking of the clock above the door.
He looked to the far corner of the room where there stood a crimson table with a chair at each end and a green plaid table runner that'd gone dull with dust. Atop lay unlit candles next to an empty spherical vase. A mahogany shelf beside it held assorted items all originally intended as waste. From the window frame spread concrete cracks, sprawling in all directions like the web of chasms in the caverns he'd explored long ago. The sky held remnants of a swirl of deep indigo and magenta streaming in through the only glass window, dimming with each tick of the clock. Distant granitic slopes cast long shadows across the valley where a serpentine river ran through, and following it led to an ocean reflecting the clouds.
With a groan, he turned his head toward the ceiling, where grooves ran through and the hanging lights flickered every now and then. The pillow was still cold and he rubbed at his neck and awkwardly shifted his position under the sheets. Then a fluff of white loomed over his vision, blocking the ceiling and window from view.
“Eli, what are you doing?” asked Liam, a smile painted on his white muzzle. As the light above flickered, it left only his azure eyes to shine through the momentary dark.
“Haven't I told you that my back is killing me?” said Eli.
Liam sat down on the edge of the bed. “Don’t you dare move. I have enough space.” He placed a paw on Eli's shoulder. Tender, running through his black fur. “Do you want a massage?”
Eli shook his head. “You know that ain’t gonna do much.”
“You still seem to enjoy them.”
“Well ‘cause it's you giving ‘em.”
Liam scoffed, now scratching Eli's head, who responded by closing his eyes and leaning his head further back. “You’ve been quiet lately.”
“What makes you say that?”
Liam continued to pet his head. “When I asked you about going on our daily walk today you told me no and nothing else. And when I came back you were just lying in bed.”
“You know I'm tired—”
“And you don't tell me as many jokes as you used to. Nor do you comment anymore on the things I bring back from the landfill. And that's the last few days. What's wrong?”
Eli hesitated for a moment. “Nothing's wrong.”
Liam sighed then turned away, removing his paw from Eli's head. “I think you're lying to me.”
Silence, filled only by the clock's ticks. “Liam, please—”
Liam turned to face him, awkwardly rubbing his paws against his own legs. “Why won't you tell me what's wrong? What's so different now than the other times? We've been good communicators to each other and now you stay silent?”
Eli didn’t reply.
“Aren't you going to say anything?” whispered Liam, almost strained.
Eli swallowed, then took a deep breath. The air ashy with floral hints—unmistakably Liam's scent. “I'm dying.”
There was a long silence from them both as the clock continued to tick.
Liam shook his head. “You're just saying that.”
“No, I'm really dying. I know it.”
Liam turned away again facing the window. “How do you know?” His tail curled to his lap and he brushed it.
“‘cause my body's shutting down. I feel it. There's this voice in my head telling me that my time is coming. Liam, hell, I'm old.”
“You’re only 37,” Liam said. His voice was cracking.
“That’s old for us.”
Liam turned to face him. “You could be wrong.”
“Don’t lie to yourself. I can hardly move now. I'm in pain. I'm dying.”
Eli saw Liam's eyes well up with tears, their gentle blue light diffracting through the glossiness. That painful, beautiful visage—he felt himself wanting to cry. Then Liam began to sob and with each racking of his body the bed creaked. Eli tried to look out the window but it'd become a blur, then his muzzle became damp with tears. He reached out to Liam's arm, and Liam placed a paw on Eli's muzzle and leaned closer to him.
Liam stopped sobbing after a minute. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to cry.”
“I'm still going to cry at some point. Oh my goodness you're going to be gone and—and I—I—you are okay with this?”
Eli nodded. “We're damn lucky to have lived as long as we have, remember that. To die without tumors is a blessing.”
“Things won't feel right without you.”
“You've taught me a lot, Liam. You've made life better.”
Liam choked back a sob. “Please…please just stop. I don’t know if I can do this.”
“But you have to. To be frank I don't know if I'll survive the night.”
“Oh God—I thought there'd be more time—”
“We have time now.”
“There’s so much I want to say and—and now you're—”
“Then tell me the world. It's not going anywhere yet.”
“I haven't had time to write anything down and rehearse it and—”
“You're so good at overthinking and I love you for it. But it's okay. Give it to me raw from the heart.”
“It’s not going to be great.”
“Even better.” Eli gave Liam a smile and his shoulders appeared to relax. Liam still held onto his tail but Eli placed a paw on top of his, then the tail dropped. Eli then took it in his paws and caressed it.
With a shaky breath, Liam began, “Okay…do you remember when we first met each other?”
“‘course I do.”
“And how I used to be so rude to you and wanted to push everyone away? I still remember when I called you some…terrible names—”
Eli laughed, then coughed. “Sorry, sorry, continue.”
“—and how I used to be so arrogant. And yet you decided to stick by my side and deal with my bullshit.”
“I think part of it was loneliness.”
“Well, whatever it was, you and your hugs did something to me, as much as I disliked them then.”
“Good thing too, I needed them.”
Liam scoffed a laugh. “Will you let me finish my eulogy?” There was a faint smile on his face.
“A-anyway, back when I was still unchanged, I remember when we had finally found the cargo buried beneath some rock. It glowed bright like a beacon and could light the cave a couple meters out. And I just remember you being so…so ecstatic that it was contagious to me, like you were infected with this novel disease. There were no corpses around to signify that anyone else had even gotten this far. You were practically jumping around for joy. Then at some point you suddenly embraced me and—and for that moment I finally felt…so happy. Like we finally did something. Like we did it.
“And on our way up you would talk and talk about all the stuff you loved. And you would ask me about more of the stuff I liked. And I would actually open up for once. You memorized my favorite foods down to the exact mixtures and were willing to avoid meat for me even though I never asked.
“And there was that time I got really sick just before we reached the top. You wouldn't let us keep going even though we were so close. Instead you went out to scavenge, made me all my favorite meals, and stayed scratching all the spots I had mindlessly told you I liked. For a long time mind you—”
Eli chuckled. Liam scoffed with a smile.
“—then you left and came back with a jacket that was orange like your eyes. And you wrapped it around me and told me I could keep it because it was my favorite color. And I remember looking at your face and thinking to myself, ‘what did I do to deserve this?’ You were being so kind when half the time I had treated you like shit. So I apologized to you and you just accepted it with no hesitation. And that's when I realized I would never truly understand you.”
“But that's okay?”
Liam nodded. “You've had your moments when you've pissed me off.”
“You're gonna remind me of those now?”
“Maybe in a bit. Let me finish.” He hesitated before a grin filled his face. “Then we reached the surface and…and…you know that one.”
Yes, Eli knew it very well.
. . .
They'd been climbing for hours. Around them lay repetitious stone littered in jagged bumps, acting like tiny spikes beneath his feet that made their aching worse with each step that'd gone before. It'd been Eli's turn to carry the cargo on his back.
He closed his eyes for a moment, slowing to catch his breath.
“Are you okay?” asked Liam.
“Just—give me—a second,” Eli responded between breaths, now stopped.
“I can carry it now if you want.”
“No, it's still my turn.”
“If you say so.”
After a minute, they trod onward. In the distance, the crack of a blue light.
“Look!” Liam said, pointing ahead.
They both sprinted, the light brightening and widening as they climbed up a steep slope leading them to a large opening. They stopped when they were a few steps from the mouth; Eli could see white dots coloring a dark background.
Both looked at each other.
“Together?” Liam asked.
Eli nodded. They walked side by side, reaching the opening and—
A breeze stirred his fur. He scanned the landscape. Tickling his legs was tall foliage he'd never seen before and in the distance large black peaks stood against the dimly lit sky. He saw Liam kneel down before lying on his back, placing his bag beneath his shoulder fins. “Let's look.”
Eli followed his steps, setting down the cargo beside him as he lay next to Liam and gazed upwards to the sky, painted with splatters of dots where not one sparkled the same. Each star observable yet unreachable; each on a journey through the vast darkness of space. And they were one of many passengers on a ship.
He looked to Liam who was lost in wonder as his blue luminescent eyes traced the dots in the darkness. What was he drawing in his mind? Then Liam turned his head to him, the wind brushing his white fur, eyes glossy. “Isn’t this beautiful?”
Eli paused for a moment. Liam’s eyes were bright. “It is. It really is.”
“We’re alive.”
“We are.” Eli smiled and Liam returned a grin, placing his paw on top of Eli’s. A warmth that cut through the cool breeze. Liam turned on his side to face Eli and inched his body closer and Eli did the same. Soon they were nearly up against each other and Eli was the first to embrace the other, running his paws through Liam’s back, feeling his spine’s curves and bumps as his digits ran through that silky fur; and Liam pressed his slender body against Eli, transferring his warmth to the other. Against his stomach Eli felt the rise and fall of Liam’s gentle breathing. His paws found the warmest spot to touch just in between Liam’s fins and he held his paw there, and the other awkwardly shifted down to accommodate their size difference. Then he wrapped his legs around Liam’s, covering them both with his tail, stray amber fibers prodding at Liam’s white tail.
Eli held Liam tight and looked at the distant mountains. How their peaks reached so high; could they be as tall as the depths they’d descended? “Liam,” he whispered.
“Yeah?”
“I love you and I’m so glad you’re here with me.”
Then he suddenly felt a warm, wet sensation on his lips. He flinched and looked down to see Liam’s muzzle pulling away from his mouth. For that split second, he felt a burning in his veins.
“S-sorry, was that weird?” Liam asked, looking away.
“...sort of? I don’t know. What are you doing?”
“The coats did it at the lab when they really loved each other’s company.” Liam was looking back at Eli’s eyes.
“I’ve never seen that. But I trust you.”
“Can I do it again?” Liam whispered, his voice so light and airy; Eli could almost grasp it in his paw and blow it away like dust.
“Yes.”
And so Liam leaned in to kiss Eli on the lips for less than a second; then Eli tenderly grabbed onto the other’s muzzle and returned it. Liam smiled and barked out a laugh, and Eli did so too, until both were laughing so loud that silence could not exist for another minute; and soon both leaned back to gaze back at the stars. The sky brightly filled with them.
. . .
“Eli?” said Liam. “Are you listening?”
“I was just thinking about our first time on the surface.”
Liam sighed. “Of course you were. Did you hear anything else I said—gosh that was so long ago.”
“Isn’t that a great thing?”
Liam stayed mute. He looked off to something in the distance, tiny sniffles escaping him. Eli held onto one of Liam’s paws.
“Please, Liam.”
“I’m going to miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
Liam leaned in to kiss Eli on the lips and caress his muzzle.
They’d spent the remaining hour of light reminiscing on their memories; how they’d become the last of the Sawians sent to the cavern and were set free by the coats, and how they’d managed to arrive just as the civil war on the surface ended. They’d be the first to live when civilization would begin anew. They’d contribute as farmers then as resource scavengers, working on behalf of the new government; and Liam grew his personal collection of paraphernalia while Eli learned to love working with his paws.
And soon they’d discussed their values and vows and what had remained unspoken. But night soon hit and Eli strained to speak. Liam lit the candles on the crimson table for the first time, filling the room with a vanilla scent, and they’d both slept holding onto each other.
. . .
When the dark of the night had gone, Liam woke to check on his partner beside him.
He was cold and stiff.
The clock above the door had stopped ticking. Outside the window, the mountains grazed against the rich orange sky, no cloud in sight, and the distant ocean illuminated tangerine. You could reach out and feel its soothing cold. A light breeze knocked on the window. Liam held his partner in his paws for a long moment, placing his head against his chest, no drumming emitting from beneath. Then he caressed his head, gave him a kiss, and went to open the window.
And he took in a deep breath of the warm air.