Work Text:
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
TG: yo
TG: yo egbert
TG: egbert
TG: you there
TG: answer please
TG: hello egbert
TG: strider to egbert
TG: egbert come in
TG: you can tease me about being clingy and all that shit but i just need you to answer your phone
TG: goddammit egbert
TG: you let your phone die again didnt you
TG: egbert
TG: john
TG: john please answer
TG: i
TG: fuck
TG: i need you okay
TG: please answer
TG: john
EB: jesus, i’m here.
TG: thank god
EB: dave, it’s two in the morning!
TG: fuck I know
TG: and im gonna take the initiative and apologize in advance before you grill me about it tomorrow
TG: or later today I guess
TG: shit my internal clock is all screwed up
TG: whatever you get the point
EB: regardless dude, i have class in the morning.
EB: now what’s the matter?
TG: okay so im kind of maybe standing outside your front door
TG: and i was kind of maybe hoping i could crash at your place tonight
TG: you know have an ironic as fuck bro sleepover
TG: just like when we only cared about video games and movie marathons
TG: back before sex was even an option
TG: just having bro nights featuring ironic brocuddles
TG: that was tight
TG: i can feel the nostalgia hitting me in waves
TG: im totally tripping in this sea of memories
TG: i could get high off of this shit
TG: you feeling me
TG: well john
TG: dont leave me hanging dude thats totally uncool
TG: are you even still listening
TG: john
EB: sorry! dozed off.
TG: of course you did
EB: hey i’m tired!
EB: next time you want to take a trip down memory lane do it when it’s not the middle of the night.
TG: sorry
TG: i just had a rough night alright
TG: nothing you should concern your pretty little ass with of course but
TG: i just need a place
EB: you guys fought again didn’t you.
TG: no
EB: uh huh.
TG: okay
TG: yeah maybe
EB: :(
EB: dave, eventually you’re going to have to work things out with him!
TG: i know i know
TG: got the whole shpeal from lalonde dont worry
TG: she took your shift as my personal life coach for the night
TG: use your time off wisely
EB: well i WAS sleeping.
TG: sorry
TG: now can you please let me in
TG: wait
TG: i mean if youre okay with this
TG: like id understand if you were pissed at me right now
TG: shit im sorry
EB: oh my god, stop apologizing!
EB: it’s creeping me out.
TG: sor
TG: wait no
EB: you’re my boyfriend what are you even worried about!
EB: don’t do this. :(
TG: do what
EB: get all self doubty on me!
TG: what the hell does self doubty even mean
EB: i don’t know!
EB: you just go all weird when you fight with him!
TG: not my fault hes an asshole
TG: now tick tock egbert
TG: time is dead daves freezing on your doorstep
TG: frozen flesh rotting in front of your apartment
TG: what will the neighbors think
EB: geez i’m getting up right now!
EB: let me find the light switch.
EB: and maybe some pants.
TG: please keep me updated on the status of your dangerous journey to the front door
EB: shut up i’m almost there.
TG: cool
TG: and
TG: and egbert
EB: yep?
TG: thanks
TG: <3
EB: you’re such a nerd.
EB: <3
EB: now can you stop pounding on the door?
EB: i’m here, doucheface.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --
TT: What if I told you I may or may not have fucked up again, and I may or may not want to come over.
GT: Dirk its two in the morning!
TT: I know.
TT: However, I would really appreciate it if I could chill with you tonight.
GT: Well i certainly wont be stopping you regardless now will i?
GT: *sigh*
TT: Hey now, don’t be like that.
TT: I’m not that inconsiderate. I don’t have to come over if you don’t want.
GT: I do trust you as a gentleman of your word strider.
GT: But i would bet a pretty penny that youre currently shuffling about outside my flat right now!
TT: …
TT: I am not.
GT: Are too!
GT: You cant pull a fast one on me that easily!
TT: Okay fine, I am.
GT: English intuitiveness strikes again!
GT: Now may i ask what happened this time?
TT: Can you let me in first? Then we can talk.
GT: Oh no.
GT: You always say were going to have a big heartfelt chat!
GT: And then as soon as i let you in you clamp your mouth shut and pretend like nothings awry!
GT: So youre going to sit right out there until you disclose to me what all this fuss is about.
TT: Can’t you just take my word that I maybe said some horrible fucking things.
TT: And then maybe proceeded to do some horrible fucking things.
TT: And Dave left me.
TT: Again.
GT: He will be back strider. He always comes back.
GT: Im downright positive of it.
TT: It was pretty bad this time though.
TT: Shit. I’m a horrible person.
TT: All I ever wanted was for the kid to think I’m a good brother.
GT: Then how about you be his friend instead?
GT: Maybe actually apologize instead of skirting around the issue and waiting for his return hm?
TT: This can’t be fixed with moronic kindergarten apologies, English.
GT: Well scurrying to my house isnt necessarily making the situation any brighter now is it?
TT: I like it here with you though.
GT: No you like my stability.
GT: I wont run away like dave.
TT: That’s not true.
GT: I honestly wouldnt doubt it.
TT: No.
TT: No, I just feel safe when I’m with you.
TT: I love you, Jake.
GT: Oh!
GT: *casually fumbles for kerchief*
TT: God. No roleplaying. It’s too early for that shit.
GT: Heh. I suppose.
GT: My point still stands firm though!
TT: Which is?
GT: Its true that i wont leave you.
GT: But i really do believe you should contact dave!
GT: Its important for everyone to face their fears.
GT: Thats why life is the greatest adventure!
GT: And i only let true adventurers into my home.
GT: *wink*
TT: That could either be interpreted as you threatening me to contact my brother or you’re leaving my ass out here…
TT: Or you were attempting an innuendo.
TT: Am I allowed to wish for the latter?
GT: No. But you could be allowed to wish for both.
TT: …
TT: Fine.
TT: Give me a minute.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
EB: dave i can hear your phone beeping from my bedroom.
EB: i know i said you could stay over.
EB: and i know you insisted on sleeping on the couch so you wouldn’t bother me.
EB: but news flash, you’re fucking bothering me.
TG: i cant help it he keeps texting me
EB: you mean your brother?
TG: no i mean the other anime douchebag whos up at this time of night
TG: guy wont leave me alone
EB: are you talking to him?
TG: of course im not fucking talking to him
EB: why aren’t you answering?
TG: reasons
EB: dave!
TG: egbert i think were both too tired for this
EB: then either answer him or turn your phone off!
EB: I’ve got class tomorrow and i’d like to actually get some rest.
TG: yeah yeah sorry
EB: you should get to sleep too.
EB: i know how exhausted you get when stuff like this happens.
EB: i just want you to be happy, okay?
TG: thanks
EB: now fucking shut your phone off before i shove it up your ass.
TG: how do i even respond to that
EB: you dont. you go to sleep like a normal civilized human.
EB: now goodnight, dave. :)
TG: night egbert
TG: ill try not to disturb your precious beauty sleep anymore
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- timeausTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --
TT: Roxy, I need your help.
TG: nuh uh uh di stri
TG: jakeys alredy filed me in
TT: Oh. Well that's comforting.
TG: he thought u mite be textin me
TG: just get ur shit togther and talk to davey
TG: this is tough love n stuf
TG: you losrs needto get yuor asses n gear pronto
TG: u r tearin this familey apart
TG: hah jk but seriousesly have a talk
TG: *seriously
TG: you guys r totes bros no matter wat rite
TT: Yeah, I guess.
TG: im here for ya dirk
TG: dont hessitate to shoot me a text or somethin if u need to
TG: *hesisitate
TG: *fuck u get the point
TT: Thanks, Rox.
TG: nytime
TG: now fuckin go an make up wit him already
-- timeausTestified [TT] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
EB: rose!
EB: roooooooose!
EB: okay, i totally know you’re not awake right now, but i have a serious problem!
TT: You know wrong. I never sleep when someone is in need of my assistance.
EB: yeah right you were probably just up writing wizard porn.
EB: whatever. i need your advice.
TT: And what, may I ask, is the problem?
EB: have you spoken to dave recently?
EB: as in the past hour?
TT: We spoke last evening. I haven’t received any messages from him since.
EB: oh, so he hasn’t talked to you.
EB: bastard.
TT: Is everything alright between you two?
EB: yeah! we’re completely fine.
EB: it’s him and his brother i’m worried about.
TT: Dirk?
TT: What happened?
EB: he won’t tell me.
EB: he said he talked to you about it though so…
TT: Hm. It must have been something different than usual if it warranted lying to you.
EB: i’m not mad or anything! just a little concerned.
TT: I’m assuming he’s currently at your apartment?
EB: yep. he wanted the couch though which is weird.
EB: i mean, not to gross you out or anything, but we’ve slept together before.
TT: So he won’t talk to you and he didn’t want to sleep with you?
TT: Interesting.
EB: and his brother is texting him nonstop!
EB: which is also weird. he’s usually pretty distant for a while when they fight.
EB: i just don’t know what to do rose. :(
TT: Don’t worry, just give Dave some time. He may want to talk later, but if not you shouldn’t pester him about it.
TT: The Strider’s relationships with one another are very peculiar. They were my foster brothers, as you know.
TT: Just be a good boyfriend, John. Which, of course, you already are.
TT: And maybe be a little more sensitive.
TT: Dave will come around, you’ll see.
TT: In the meantime I will attempt to contact him, and maybe Dirk as well.
TT: Though both of them have a horrid habit of conveniently misplacing their phones at times like these.
EB: heh. he’s pulled that card on me before.
TT: Dave has just convinced himself that it’s, as he put it, “uncool” to bother people with his problems.
TT: Again, I recommend just giving him time to blow off some steam.
EB: thanks rose.
TT: Anytime.
EB: oh shit he just threw something against the wall!
EB: i think something’s wrong.
EB: he must have answered his brother.
EB: hang on rose i’ve got to go.
TT: What’s the matter?
-- ectoBiologist [EB] has disconnected! --
TT: John?
TT: What have you done now, Dave.
-- tentacleTherapist [TT] has disconnected! --
-- timeausTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: Hey.
TT: We need to talk.
TT: Dave.
TT: Hello?
TT: Dave?
TT: I know you're there.
TT: You never go anywhere without your stupid phone.
TT: Answer me.
TT: Please.
TT: I'm sorry okay?
TT: I'm legitimately sorry.
TT: In fact I'm so sorry that I recommend you take a screenshot of this apology so you can use it against me later.
TT: See how sorry I am? I'm giving you fucking blackmail material here.
TT: I just...
TT: I didn't mean to explode on you.
TT: Okay I kind of did.
TT: But now I'm kind of regretting it.
TT: Obviously.
TT: That's beside the point though.
TT: I'm sorry.
TT: Please stop ignoring me.
TT: Or being mad at me.
TT: Whatever you're doing right now that consists of you not answering me.
TT: Please.
TT: I really think we need to fucking talk, bro.
TT: And I mean a serious conversation.
TT: Not you slamming the door and running off to your boyfriend.
TT: Which I totally know is where you are by the way.
TT: I'm just being the bigger man and not bursting down his door to drag you, kicking and screaming, back here.
TT: See how generous I am?
TT: Okay maybe jokes aren't the best idea right now.
TT: I promise I won’t yell at you again.
TT: Or do anything like that again.
TT: That was stupid.
TT: I know you're probably furious with me, and you have the right to be.
TT: Just.
TT: Please come home.
TT: Please.
TT: At least answer me.
TG: go fuck yourself
TT: Dave I'm sorry.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has blocked timeausTestified [TT] --
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] --
TT: Hello, Dave.
TT: I’ve been expecting you.
TT: Have you talked things out with him yet?
TG: shit
TG: never mind i cant deal with you right now
-- turntechGodhead [TG] has disconnected! --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] --
TG: ello dirky
TG: ive been expectin u
TG: did you get things wrked out or not
TT: Shit.
TT: Never mind, I can’t deal with you right now.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] has disconnected! --
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
EB: dave? what the hell was that noise?
TG: shit sorry
TG: i may have accidentally made a cellphone sized dent in your wall
TG: and then proceeded to make it bigger when i tried to text rose
TG: whoops ill get that fixed
EB: i’m not even going to comment.
TG: dont worry all iphone shaped holes will be repaired asap
TG: just call me fix it dave
EB: i’m too tired for this shit.
TG: if it makes you feel any better i shattered the screen of this thing
EB: go to bed, dave.
TG: sorry
TG: thanks for putting up with my shit egbert
TG: love you
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] --
EB: love you too.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT]--
TT: English, I need to vent.
TT: And then this door is going to open and I’m going to fall into your awaiting arms with tear filled eyes.
TT: You will become my last strand of hope that I grip tightly onto as I fall into this dark abyss known as my life.
TT: You hear me?
TT: It’s going to be like a motherfucking hipster post in here.
TT: Mixed in with a weeabo anime blogger. I need you to hurry up and bring me to life.
GT: Oh dear youre rambling now.
TT: (Wake me up.) Wake me up inside.
GT: No. Stop this tomfoolery at once.
TT: Wake me up inside.
GT: I thought we agreed that little phase was over in middle school.
TT: Wake me up and savvvvvvveeee meeeeee from the dark.
GT: Strider its literally been five minutes. Are you drunk?
TT: No. Just freezing my ass off on your doorstep. I may also be slightly pissed at my bro.
TT: And a little delirious from exhaustion, I’m not going to lie.
TT: But I did what you said.
GT: Im going to make the assumption that things didnt go well?
TT: You could say that.
GT: Should I be expecting a paragraph of emotions within the next few messages?
TT: Maybe.
GT: Lets get this over then shall we? Im all ears.
TT: Little piece of shit telling me to fuck off
GT: And there he is.
TT: well I'll show him how much that means to me he's never fucking allowed back in here ever
GT: The rare and exotic emotion showing strider.
TT: I hope you know I raised him and now all he does is slam the door in my face like some teenaged punk
GT: Missing punctuation too. This isnt good. Not at all.
TT: Fucking asshole thinks he can get away with everything
GT: Alright. Time to calm it down and think rationally.
TT: And I was even the bigger man and tried to apologize but what does he do he tells me to go fuck myself
GT: Strider hes still only nineteen. Barely a young lad!
TT: That son of a bitch
GT: You cant expect him to handle things maturely.
TT: Sometimes I wonder why I fucking asked to keep us together. We could gave totally been separated and gotten adopted
GT: Hes your brother.
TT: But nope, I've got to be the responsible older brother and take care of the bastard, just so he can shove it all back in my face ten years later
GT: Dirk.
TT: What.
TT: I thought we collectively agreed it was ranting time.
GT: Youre getting yourself worked up again. Bring it down a notch.
TT: No, Jake, I will not fucking bring it down a notch.
TT: I just want
TT: Want
TT: Shit.
GT: Him to come home? Even though you ran away just as fast as he did?
GT: Seems like a rather bizarre plan doesnt it?
TT: …
GT: But thats it isnt it? Youre both acting like cowards if you ask me.
TT: I’m no coward.
GT: And that very well may be so!
GT: You were the gentleman and apologized like I advised you to after all.
GT: The best we can do now is sit back and let the storm take its course!
GT: He will be back. You can bet your boonbucks.
GT: But you cant just explode like this!
TT: I know.
TT: You’re right.
TT: But what if he doesn't, Jake? I fucked up big this time.
GT: Hes your brother. A man born of the noble blood of strider just as you are.
TT: …Noble blood of Strider.
TT: What the fuck, English?
GT: Oh hush hush and listen.
GT: You two depend on each other more than you care to let out in the open.
GT: Its not ironic so you never want to admit it. But i know you love him!
GT: So this will pass.
TT: It’s a bit more complicated than that.
TT: My so called “love” for him is what got me into this mess in the first place.
GT: But i have faith in you!
GT: You will get all this dung deep malarkey sorted out. Just you wait and see!
GT: Now come along. Im letting you in now.
GT: You need some rest.
GT: And maybe a bit more than that. *double pistols and a wink*
TT: Ah, I was waiting for that phrase.
TT: I got concerned when you didn’t use it in our last conversation.
GT: Well it never did anyone good to wear out a catchphrase now did it?
TT: Oh, I’m pretty sure it’s already been beaten to the ground.
TT: It’s like your catchphrase ran in a bull race but forgot to tie its shoelaces.
TT: Fell face first into the cement as it awaited its unavoidable trampling.
TT: Died a sudden and unexpected death by the majestic hooves of life.
TT: Crushing its implied action, bruising its asterisks, making everyone flinch at the mere mention of it.
TT: That’s how worn out it is.
GT: Getting rather tired of your sass dirk.
GT: Regardless ill take that copious metaphor as a sign that youre feeling better.
GT: So let us take this debate to the bedroom shall we.
TT: Don’t you fucking dare.
TT: Don’t.
TT: You.
TT: Fucking.
GT: *double pistols and a wink*
TT: Dare.
TT: Godammit, English.
GT: Ha ha!
TT: Now here’s me roleplaying.
TT: *SIGH*
TT: So can you hurry up and open the door before I kick it to pieces.
GT: Of course! Youve earned it. I do believe this feelings jam was a milestone in our relationship!
TT: Whatever you want to keep telling yourself.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] –-
TG: <3
TG: <3
TG: <3
TG: <3 <3
TG: <3 <3 <3
TG: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
EB: dave.
TG: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
EB: dave this isn’t even ironic.
TG: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
EB: go to sleep.
TG: <3
EB: <3
EB: there. you happy?
TG: god about time
TG: first rule of texting is to always text someone back a heart when they text you one
TG: <3
EB: <3
EB: jesus you’re obnoxious.
TG: only for you babe
EB: as much as i appreciate the hole in my living room, I’m going to assume you want to come in here?
TG: only if youre okay with that
EB: dude it’s not like we’ve never cuddled before.
EB: now c’mon. i know i’ve been kind of bitchy tonight.
EB: but i think a certain ironic douchebag needs a hug.
EB: we can get everything worked out in the morning, bro.
EB: just come in here and get some sleep.
TG: <3
EB: <3
EB: asshole.
TG: but im your asshole john
EB: and with that, i’m closing this conversation.
-- ectoBiologist [EB]ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --
TT: Hey I know you’re asleep right now, and I’ll probably be gone before you wake up.
TT: But thanks for tonight.
TT: Maybe we can catch a movie later today.
TT: We can even see one of those brainless action movies you like.
TT: And have a James Bond quote-a-thon.
TT: I can’t believe I just fucking typed that unironically.
TT: Regardless, the point is that I’m thankful.
TT: And I’m sorry for being a dickprince sometimes.
TT: And I love you.
TT: Kind of a lot.
TT: Thanks, Jake.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering golgothasTerror [GT] --
GT: love you too. Frigging douche.
-- golgothasTerror [GT] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] -–
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: Sorry for being a manipulative asshole.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
TG: sorry for being raised by a manipulative asshole
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: Sorry for having a little shit for a younger brother.
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
TG: sorry for learning from the best
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: Hey look, I really am sorry, alright?
TT: We cool, bro?
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
TG: not really
TG: but we can still fist bump it out if you want
-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: *Fistbump*
TG: *fistbump*
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
-- timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
TT: I love you, I hope you know. Even if you’re a god awful little brother.
TG: well shit
TG: love you too bro
TG: getting all sorts of warm fuzzies over here
TG: someone call the snuggie factory and tell them I want twenty
TG: all hand embroidered with your name
TG: a tribute to our brohood
TT: Get some sleep, poser.
TG: you too loser
-- timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --