Chapter Text
Max woke up the morning of March 22 just like any other day. When she stretched, her feet hit Bonzo, her seeing-eye dog, just like every other morning. She heard her parents laughing in the kitchen while she got ready for school. Pancakes and extra crispy bacon tasted exactly the same. Even the drive to school, her parents in the front seat belting out really bad 80s ballads and Max trying really hard not to sing along to the words she knew by heart, was completely and utterly normal. She wished desperately that she would have clung to the normal.
“Alright, Peanut.” Her dad, Sam, turned around in his seat when they pulled up to CSB, “I’ll pick you up today after your practice. Mom and I were thinking dinner and the skate park after?”
“Sounds good to me!” Max answered, picking up Bonzo’s leash and harness before opening the door. Something deep inside made her pause, readjusting her glasses just a bit to look at her parents one more time.
Even with her limited vision in her right eye, she knew their faces by heart. Her dad’s scruffy salt and pepper beard that he swore made him look “rugged”, even if her and her mom joked he just looked like a try hard professor, reading glasses perched on his head really sealing the deal. Max’s mom looked exactly like her, shoulder length auburn hair unmanageably curly in the California humidity, but the kindest eyes and mischievous smile made Susan Mayfield the most beautiful woman Max had ever seen. She gave her parents a real, genuine smile.
“I love you both.” Max said sincerely, letting go of the dog’s harness long enough to wrap her arms around her parent’s necks. “I’ll see you guys tonight.” Finally, she got out of the car and walked through the school’s doors.
—
By the time that 2:30 rolled around, the uneasy feeling in the pit of Max’s stomach grew. She had messaged her parents at lunch time, just a casual “checking in” text, joking about wanting authentic street tacos for dinner and not the crap Dad liked by the pier. She glanced at her phone while her teacher wasn’t looking; no response. That’s not normal.
She tried to put it out of her head. Her fingers brushed the raised dots of her text book, some boring science shit she knew she wouldn’t remember without reading it a hundred times at least. An hour left of school, an hour left of study hall, an hour until basketball practice, then home. This whole day would be put behind her. Max was so focused on convincing herself everything was fine that she barely registered Mrs. Marrow’s, phone ringing. She tried once again to tune it out, but immediately snapped to attention when her favorite teacher said her name.
“Maxine Mayfield is in my room this period, yes.” Mrs. Marrow frowned, looking over at her. “What on earth did she do?”
Max’s eyebrows jumped to her hairline. I didn’t do anything! I wasn’t anywhere near Nate when he finally let the spider loose in Mr. Kelvin’s room! Not only that, I tried everything to stop him! If that rat said my name, I’m gonna-”
“Oh. Oh I see.” Mrs. Marrow finally said, nodding her head. “Well I’m sure she’ll be glad to see her. Yes, I’m sending her down now.” The receiver was almost lowered to the base when she brought it back to her ear. “Um, okay, we’ll both be down in a moment then.” Finally, she hung up the phone. Max didn’t pretend that she hadn’t heard the whole conversation. “Looks like both of us are in trouble.” Mrs. Marrow tried to lighten the mood with a laugh. “Let’s go get this over with.”
The two walked down the hall to the principal's office. The middle school wing was on the complete opposite side of the school, forcing them to pass the elementary classrooms. Max didn’t like to brag, but she was something of a celebrity at the school; partially blind skateboarder, starting middle school basketball player, straight A student, one of the only “big kids” (can a 13 year old be classified as that?) who didn’t live on campus who would hang out in the dorms after school to tutor the younger ones, and she made it a point to actively listen when one of the kids told her something. So it was no surprise when the third grade class walked by that they all shouted in excitement at the Max Mayfield in their hallway. Any other day, Max would have embraced it, stopped for a few minutes to chat even, but that gnawing feeling…
“Sorry, guys, I can’t stick around today.” She said, half-hugging no less than five 8 year olds at the same time, “Mrs. Marrow and I are on the way to the office.”
“Are you in trouble, Maxie?” One of the overly eager girls asked, almost aghast that her role model could possibly do something wrong.
“No, sweetie.” Thankfully, Mrs. Marrow took over this line of questioning. “We just need to go check on something.”
Relief flickered through the small crowd, and they finally released the pair back on their journey.
“I’m not in trouble, am I?” Max tugged on her sleeve, half wishing she would have brought Bonzo down with her; at least then she'd have something else to fidget with.
“I don’t think so.” Mrs. Marrow paused before she opened the door to the reception area, a playful grin tugging on her lips. “Should you be?”
Max tried to laugh, but her anxieties got the best of her. Finally, they walked into the office and greeted the secretaries. Max was an excellent judge of the vibes in a room; there was something horrendously off. Typically, the secretaries were chattier than the elementary kids, but today, they just looked sad. The teacher pulled on a brave smile in front of her and knocked on the door, Principal Lee called out on the other side to come in. Here goes nothing.
Nothing could have prepared her for who sat on the other side. To no one’s surprise, the principal of the school sat behind her desk, the middle school guidance counselor to her right. But where Max expected her mom and dad to be sat someone she hadn’t seen since Christmas.
“Aunt Karen?” Max asked, closing the distance as her mom’s sister stood up. It felt like her aunt was trying to crush all the air out of her lungs when they embraced, but the woman had never been shy with her emotions. It wasn’t until they pulled away that the gravity of the situation fully hit Max; Karen’s eyes were red and puffy, and it looked like a Kleenex factory had exploded in the office, there were so many boxes of tissues.
“Hi, sweetie.” Karen said, voice thick and watery.
“What’s going on? Mom and Dad didn’t say you were coming.” At the mention of her parents, the room stilled again; it felt like everyone held their breath, hoping against hope they wouldn’t have to talk about the reason for this abrupt meeting.
“Max, Mrs. Marrow, please have a seat.” Principal Lee motioned to the free chairs. Max collapsed into the free seat next to her aunt, failing to recognize she was holding onto her hand for dear life. Again, the room sat silent for a beat more, before the leader of the school continued. “Max, there's no easy way to say this, but your parents were in a car accident this morning.”
Max felt her blood run cold, flashbacks from the morning tumbled through her mind; the uneasy feeling, the pit in her stomach, the need to hug her parents more than twice and make a show about telling them how much she loved them. This can’t be happening.
“They’re okay, right?” Max begged, looking between the principal and her aunt. “Aunt Karen, you’re just here until they get home, right?” Even as she said it, she knew it wasn’t true.
The principal looked between the counselor, Mrs. Marrow, and, finally, Karen. Max’s aunt nodded, clearing her voice and taking over.
“Sweetie, your dad was gone by the time paramedics got there. And your mom,” her voice caught, but she sniffled and looked her niece dead in the eye, “She’s brain dead, honey. She’s not going to wake up.”
Max could barely register what was being said, barely hear the people around her. The floor fell out from under her and her ears rang at a high-pitched frequency.
In one morning, she lost both her parents. Gone, just like that. No warning. No second chances. Just…
Max ran out of the room before she realized her brain told her feet to move.
She flew through the halls, out the door, through the commons, all the way to the soccer fields across campus. In the very middle of the turf, she finally let out the sob she’d been holding in since the phone rang.
—
Max didn’t know how long she was outside for. A few seconds, minutes, hours? Who’s to say. Her throat burned from screaming, eyes stung raw after crying all her tears. She lay on her side, knees pulled up to her chest, when she felt them. Small, yet confident, sturdy hands rested on both her shoulders, pulling her into an upright position. Arms encircled her own, pulling her into a firm embrace. Calm words whispered in her ear; I got you. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe. You’re not alone and you never will be.
What the fuck do you know about being alone? The voice in her head surprised her. Sure, Max might cuss occasionally in the locker room with her friends, but rarely did that specific word cross the teenagers mind. Whatever, you’re an orphan now.
Nothing matters.
Nothing matters.
Nothing…
—
When Max woke in her own bed later that night, she almost convinced herself it was all an awful nightmare. Her head pounded, but surely she just got sick at school and her parents picked her up. Yeah, her mom was definitely downstairs cooking homemade mac and cheese for dinner and her dad would joke about how Mayfields push through sickness, all while trying to discreetly check her temperature and getting her fresh ice water every 5 minutes.
So Max sat up and listened, holding her breath, waiting to hear her mom’s singing or her dad’s complaining about idiot college kids and their stupid essays. Instead she heard the unsteady voice of her aunt.
“No, Ted, she’s still not awake.” Was she pacing? “Honey, I need you to get out here as soon as possible. Try to bring Nancy if you can, she and Max have always been close.” A pause stretched, “No, I’m not okay! My sister is dead, or as good as dead, and her daughter lost both parents even younger than we did. This is not what Susan wanted for her. Ted you should have seen her, curled in on herself at the school; it took us almost an hour to find her! I just… I need you, please.” Another pause, “I know, I do. I talked to both Sue and Joyce, they both offered their houses until we came back, but I really think it would be better if they just came with- Mhm- okay, yes get them to bed. I love you too.”
The sinking feeling came back like a tidal wave; it was all real. It was all too real. Max stayed on the edge of her bed a minute more, trying to make her body catch up with her brain, before she finally reached for her glasses. Every move made her head pound even harder and she winced as her hand found its target. When she positioned the bright red frames on her nose, her head throbbed even more, so she put them down and reached for her white cane instead. Finally, Max stood up, letting the room shift and tilt before it settled, and walked downstairs. 7 paces, shift left, 11 paces, shift right, 13 steps down, shift right, 10 paces, kitchen.
Max announced her presence in the kitchen by clearing her throat, taking in the sharp smell of garlic and basil and cheese, then said the words she’d been thinking since walking into the principal's office earlier that afternoon.
“Can we go see my mom?” Max hardly recognized her own voice, soft and strained from screaming in the field for god only knew how long. She waited a beat, then another. She felt like a little kid again, standing in her parent’s doorway after waking from a nightmare about surgeries and chemo and people in masks, but this time, her parents couldn’t protect her from her fear; her parents couldn’t protect her from anything. “I’m sorry, never mind.”
Karen raced around the island and pulled the teenager into what felt like the hundredth embrace. “Of course we can go see her, sweetie! You need to see her.”
Max didn’t realize she was crying again until her eyes burned even more intensely. She was so tired, so deeply sad, and wished so much that this was all just a cruel, sick nightmare.
—
Karen sat on her sister’s couch, listening to life in California drift by outside, but her mind stayed in three places simultaneously; upstairs with her niece, in the ICU downtown, and with her own little family in small-town Hawkins, Indiana. Her little sister was gone, but not gone, and she had to make the impossible choice. The only right choice. How could she explain that to Max, who lost both her parents in an instant and was experiencing a type of pain Karen had yet to heal from after 15 years? Her sister was in a cold hospital room all alone, visiting hours long over, and would be until the next morning when she’d have to sign the papers to remove all life sustaining care. And her own children… Nancy said that Mike had been so angry when Ted told them to pack a bag for California; something about being in the middle of a game and pausing would disrupt the flow? Well, Michael, the flow has been disrupted. Karen thought to herself, sipping on the flat diet soda she poured herself hours ago. It was times like these she really hated her and her sister’s sobriety pact. She checked her phone one more time before going into the guest room; she just couldn’t bring herself to sleep in her sister and brother-in-law’s room.
Ted: Troops are packed, flight is booked, we’ll be there by noon tomorrow.
Karen: It can’t get here soon enough.
Ted: I know. Hang on just a while longer, be brave for Max until I’m there, then you can fall apart.
Karen: I’m counting on it!
—
“At least try this one on, please!” Max’s older cousin, Nancy pleaded.
It had been a whole week since Max’s world had fallen apart, five days since she’d sat in a hospital room and held her mom’s hand while the monitor flatlined, four days since it had been officially decided that she would move to Indiana with her aunt and uncle. She could hear the two adults and Mike downstairs, sorting through the kitchen cabinets, deciding what of Max’s childhood they would ship across the country and what would be sold off. Max knew she couldn’t stay in California, but the thought of moving out and moving on was unbearable.
It seemed like Nancy had packed every single black clothing item she owned and was trying to convince her to make a choice she’d been avoiding for days, all while Holly sat next to Max in the bed, doing her best to “braid” the red-head’s curls but only succeeded in making her hair more tangled. Max didn’t care, she just shrugged Nancy off when she held up a black dress that had far too many ruffles.
“I’m just wearing a black t-shirt and I guess that skirt I wore to your piano recital.” Max mumbled, wishing that the two girls would just leave her alone, wishing sleep would take her back, back to where her parents were, back to safety and predictability, back to normal.
“Hey, Hols, could you go find Mike and ask him to help you brush your teeth, please?” Nancy asked the younger girl.
“Nance, I’m 7. I don’t need help brushing my teeth. If you want me to leave, just tell me to leave.” Holly said, dropping the sectioned strands.
“Right. Sorry.” Nancy flinched at the reminder her baby sister wasn’t a baby any more.
Holly dropped off the bed and walked out the room, leaving Nancy to turn her attention back to the red-head laying before her. “Max,” she started and stopped abruptly when the girl turned to face her.
“What do you want from me, Nancy?” Max demanded. “Do you want me to act okay? Act like I give a shit about what I wear tomorrow? Brush my hair and wash my face and put on a fake ass smile? Because that’s not going to happen.”
“Okay, I deserve that.” Nancy said, relieved that at least she was talking and acting feisty again. “No, you don’t need to act ‘fine,’ but you and I both know Aunt Susan would not want you to lay around in bed all day and Uncle Sam would lose his goddamn shit if he saw the state of your room. Don’t put on a brave face for us, but don’t turn into a shell of yourself either.”
Max didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. Nancy just sat there, Max just lay there, for several minutes the gravity of the suck crushed down on them. Then Max got up, pulled on the dress, begrudgingly nodded her head, changed into clean clothes, and got back to packing.
Hawkins, here I fucking come.