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Lars was taking a stroll down the streets of Beach City one sunny day, taking in all the sights around him.
It was funny how the place where someone grew up could feel so familiar and yet become so different as time went on, sometimes to the point of growing to be unrecognizable. Time and change could be a weird thing.
Until Lars ended up in space, he had grown up only in this city. Everything had once been so familiar to him, sometimes monotonously so.
But now, walking through the small town, he could mostly just see how different everything had become in the time since he had been in space and then come back. Truth be told, it had been a huge adjustment for him to see how much everything had changed when he had returned to Beach City for the first time.
It was true, life really did go on.
Well, his almost didn't. But that was a thought for another time.
For now, he focused on heading over to a house that had also been quite familiar to him in the past to see a person who he once knew fairly well.
Lars had reached out to Sadie recently and asked if they could meet up to talk. Since he was so busy with the responsibilities that came with both being in charge of a group of Gems and running a bakery and Sadie had been preoccupied with her band she had with the Cool Kids, they hadn't had much time to just sit and talk like old times. They had spoken a few times in passing, but they hadn't had a chance to talk like they used to.
Until now.
The entire time Lars had been making the trip to Sadie's house, he had been mentally rehearsing all the possible ways for their conversation to go. To catch up. To ask her how she had been. To learn what she was up to. To just chat and spend time with her like they used to. To learn what exactly the two of them were nowadays since it wasn't really clear to either of them. But most of all, to apologize for how he had treated her in the past.
That last one was going to be especially hard to say.
But Lars could do it.
If he could get kidnapped by rock aliens, die, be resurrected, become a captain of the Gem crew he had died saving, and lead missions out in space, he could surely apologize to someone he had wronged.
Hopefully.
No, we can do this. It'll be fine, he told himself.
But the closer he got to his destination, the more his nerves began to take over.
Not that they ever really stopped.
Lars had been so caught up in his thoughts that it took him a minute to realize that he had finally made it to Sadie's house (apparently even now and even if he was distracted, he still knew the way there). He gave himself a minute to try and relax before reaching up to tentatively knock on the door.
Almost immediately, it opened to reveal Sadie.
She looked up at him, taking in the appearance of the guy she once knew so well and spent the majority of her time with. Sometimes it was still jarring to see how different and yet familiar he looked. While he looked the same for the most part, the white hair, pink skin, and scar all stood out. That and his general disposition. She used to know him to be insecure, anxious, closed off, and mean at times. But he had matured and grown to be nicer, more confident, and more open since he had been gone. It was strange at first, but she wasn't complaining.
Lars looked down at her, also taking in her appearance that looked familiar to what he knew but had changed in some ways. She looked so much more sure of herself than he was used to seeing.
Theoretically, this shouldn't have been awkward. He was just preparing to try and apologize to his friend and ex(?) for everything he had done wrong. And maybe the list was a long one because he used to be a monumental screwup and still felt like one sometimes. But it shouldn't have been awkward! He had done things much harder and scarier by now.
“Hi, Lars,” Sadie said with a small smile.
Finally, the pink boy realized he had just been standing there. Way to make it more awkward when he hadn't even started the conversation yet. “Hey, Sadie.”
The blond girl stepped aside to let him in.
Lars entered the house, closing the door behind him and taking a minute to just look around. He had been here multiple times before, sure. But a lot of those times had taken place a long time ago. Even being in the house of someone he once knew so well felt a bit weird after all the changes he had undergone.
But he couldn't back out. Not when he had been the one to ask for a talk. And when he needed to make amends.
He was done being a coward and running away. At least, he was working towards reaching that point.
Sadie headed down to her basement room while Lars followed her.
Once they reached it, Sadie closed the door and sat on her bed.
As for Lars, he took a seat at her desk chair. He looked around. Even her room looked so different from what he remembered.
The two of them just sat and looked at each other, neither one feeling ready to talk first.
But the silence was growing unbearable, so Lars finally decided to be the one to break it. “So…long time no see.”
He internally facepalmed as the words left him. Nice going, Lars. That wasn't awkward or anything.
Sadie chuckled a bit. “Right? It feels like it's been forever since we had time to just sit and talk.”
“It really does,” Lars agreed.
Okay, time to ease into things.
He looked over at her. “How’ve you been?”
“I've been pretty good,” Sadie answered. “But also busy. The Suspects and I have been playing a lot of shows, and it gets tiring to travel so much. But it's been a lot of fun.”
Lars nodded. “Sounds like it.”
Sadie glanced over at him. “How about you?”
“Also pretty busy. But I guess that just comes with the territory of both being in charge of a whole crew and owning a bakery. It's a lot of responsibility, I'll say that much. Younger me never would've done either of those things.” Lars had to grin a little at the thought of his younger self learning how much he would come to change. He never would have believed himself if he'd heard about it back then.
Sadie laughed. “I can imagine.”
A silence fell over the two of them again. While it wasn't exactly comfortable, it also wasn't as painfully awkward as the first one.
Where to go next? Lars wondered if he should try and ease into the conversation a bit more or if he should tell Sadie what he came here to tell her now.
Screw it, he thought after a few minutes of debating with himself. His eyes moved over to Sadie again.
She met his gaze, slightly confused by his change in expression. He looked a bit…shy?
That wasn't exactly unfamiliar. She had seen him look that way before, but most of those times had been before everything changed (before he had died, which Sadie hated to remember had happened even though he was still here). Now he came across as so confident that shyness looked foreign on him.
“Something up?” she asked.
Lars sighed, deciding to finally spit it out. Sadie deserved that much. “Sadie, I'm sorry.” His eyes and voice both held a mixture of shyness and guilt.
The girl blinked, instantly noticing how sincere Lars’ voice sounded. “What?”
Now that Lars had moved past the most difficult step of initially apologizing, his next words all came out in a rush. “I was horrible to you so many times. I didn't treat you well, and I don't get why you always stuck by me. I don't get why you still do. You deserve so much better. I knew you liked me, but I never wanted to accept it and let you in and I just pushed you away all the time because I couldn't understand why you would ever look at me that way. I always did that even though I liked you, too. I should’ve just told you I liked you instead of being such a coward all the time and worrying so much about what those around me might think. I'm just…I’m really sorry. For everything.”
After the shock wore off, Sadie's expression softened as she listened. Truth be told, she never thought she'd hear any of that from Lars since he had hardly ever been one to apologize. After a point, she had stopped hoping for it because of how unlikely it seemed. But now she was hearing it.
She looked over at him. “Lars, it's okay.”
“No, it's not,” he argued.
“Well…yeah, it wasn't,” she agreed.
“See?”
“Yes, you did things wrong. But I’ve been thinking back to those times, and now I can understand a little better how you felt and what led you to that point. I forgive you. I did that a long time ago.”
“Why?”
Sadie rolled her eyes affectionately. “Because I care about you, silly.”
Lars averted his gaze. He really didn't deserve her being so nice.
“I'm sorry too, you know,” Sadie continued.
Lars glanced over at her again.
Now it was Sadie's turn to look away. “You made mistakes, sure. But I did things wrong, too. There were some times when I wasn't too nice, either.”
“You want to talk about not being nice? Sadie, I was worse and you know it.”
“I'm not finished.”
“Sorry, go on.”
She looked at him again. “What I'm especially sorry for is when I trapped you on that island.”
Lars went quiet for a minute as the memories rushed over him. That still wasn't a pleasant thing to remember even years later and even after he had experienced worse things by now. He had legitimately been terrified for the longest time that he would be stuck there forever and never make it home.
And then when he found out that Sadie had known where the warp pad was all along and chose to keep it hidden? And realized that she had watched him panic and break down all the while knowing what she was hiding from him?
That was the day Lars learned what true betrayal felt like.
He had opened up to Sadie in ways that he usually tried so hard to avoid, he had let her in, he had even made out with her, and for what? Only to learn that she had intentionally trapped him (and Steven) on the island while a dangerous creature was lurking, no less.
Needless to say, it made him deeply regret opening up and also made him never want to do it again, at least not to Sadie. It also made him wonder how many of his actions on the island were genuine and how many of them came out of the desperation he'd been feeling.
He had spent some time talking to her as little as possible after that. Which wasn't always easy when they were the only two people who worked in an establishment. But he sure did try. He tried harder to not talk to her than he tried at most things. He had only spoken to her when absolutely necessary and then went right back to ignoring her as soon as he could.
(Looking back, he almost found it funny how he had put so much effort into not talking to Sadie, of all things. He was usually not one to make an effort, but that was apparently where he drew the line. In his defense, he'd never felt so betrayed.)
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, not wanting her to know that he was remembering it. “Yeah, that was a bit scary.” A bit scary? More like terrifying.
Not that he wanted to admit those feelings to Sadie even though he had broken down in front of her during that whole ordeal and she already knew how scared he had been.
Sadie looked at him, guilt written all over her expression. “It really hadn't been my intention at first to trap you, I promise it wasn’t. I wanted to try and help you and I wasn't sure how to. And…I wanted you to let me in. I wanted you to be able to trust me enough to do that. And I thought that if I made it so that you can't leave, then you would…which sounds really horrible now that I'm saying it out loud. But no matter what my intentions were, I never should've done it. In trying to get you to trust me more, all I did was break what little trust there already was. I'm so, so sorry.”
Lars looked at her, defaulting back to his usual method of brushing things off despite his surprise and happiness to have heard an apology for that stunt. He had similarly stopped expecting to hear one after a point. “Eh, don't worry about it. When you literally die, everything else becomes a little less scary.” He gave her a playful grin.
“Lars, don't joke about that!” Sadie scolded. “I'm trying to apologize here!”
Lars chuckled a little. “Relax. I'm still here, aren't I?”
“Well, yeah. But it was scary to learn what happened to you.”
Lars’ smile faded, thinking back to how it had gone when he first told her everything that had happened while he and Steven were on Homeworld. “Yeah, I know it was. I'm sorry.”
Sadie gave him a little smile. “It's fine. I'm just glad you're still here.”
He found himself returning the smile. “Thanks, and I forgive you too.”
Sadie’s expression softened again. “I'm surprised you’re forgiving me, but I really appreciate it.”
“Don't be so surprised. I'm nicer than you give me credit for. At least, I am now. Even if it took a lot of experiences, including getting kidnapped and dying, to get there.”
“I know, silly.”
Once again, the two of them fell silent. This time, it didn't feel awkward at all anymore. They had both apologized for things they hadn't before, forgiveness had been given on both sides, and things were okay again. As much as they could be.
But one question still remained.
Lars looked over at her. “So, uh…just to be clear, what are we?”
Sadie glanced back over at him. “Well, we did try dating again after you first came back.”
“We did,” Lars replied, thinking back to those times when he had first returned from space with his crew.
“And found that it wasn't really working out. We became too different, I guess,” Sadie continued. “For the better, of course. But we weren't the same people anymore.”
Lars nodded, seeing the truth in her words. He had changed a lot, and she had too. They both felt like they were light-years away from who they used to be.
Sadie’s eyes moved elsewhere. “I don't want to try again, if I'm being honest.”
Lars fell silent, taking in her words. He was a bit sad to hear it, but he supposed he couldn't really blame her when he'd never treated her that well. “Yeah, I get that.”
“Sorry.” She looked over at him apologetically.
Lars waved a hand. “Don't worry about it, Sade. I understand.”
“You sure?” Sadie asked.
Lars nodded. “We tried, and it didn't work out. Sometimes it's just not meant to be.”
“True, true.” Sadie gave him a little grin. “When did you get so mature?”
He grinned back, a memory of when he had asked Steven that same question flashing through his mind. He never thought he'd get to the point of hearing himself described with that particular word. “All I had to do was get kidnapped and die. Really changes a person.”
“Lars, no more death jokes!” She marched over and elbowed him.
He laughed, narrowly dodging her attack. “Okay, okay.”
Sadie also laughed before turning around and sitting back on her bed.
They had technically been over for a while now due to how long it had been since they last gave dating a try, but now they had official confirmation.
Despite that, Lars wasn't as sad as he thought he would be over it. It was a bummer to hear, sure. And a past version of himself would've been more displeased over it (though a past version of himself would've also tried to brush it off and act as if he didn't like her). But there was too much history there, and sometimes it was just better to let go and move on. It had taken Lars a while to understand that, but now he finally did.
As for Sadie, she also felt a bit bad to officially put a stop to whatever they had going on. It just felt so...final. Especially since their little thing had been so prevalent in their younger years (especially for her, since she had always put so much focus on the guy). But she also knew it was for the better in both their cases. And just because it was over didn't mean they would become strangers. Even if they had both changed a lot, they still wanted to keep their friendship.
A moment of calm passed over them.
“Anything else you've been up to?” Lars asked.
Sadie figured she should be honest about one of the reasons she didn't want to give their relationship another try. “Well, there's this person…”
Lars looked over at her, curious.
“I've been talking to someone recently, and I really like them. We're actually planning on going on a date soon,” Sadie revealed. “...That’s part of why I didn't want us to try again.”
Lars took a minute to process that piece of information.
He had expected to experience all the same feelings he had when he first learned about Sadie joining forces with the Cool Kids and creating a band: hurt, betrayed, jealous, like he was being left behind and she was moving on without him. He'd expected to feel all that especially since Sadie had just told him she didn't want to give things a try with him again and she had found someone new.
But much to his own surprise, he found that none of those feelings were arising. Instead, he just felt happy for her.
He guessed that meant he had grown more than he originally thought.
Lars smiled. “That's great, Sadie. Congrats.”
Sadie returned the smile. “Aw. Thanks, Lars.”
“Anytime.”
Because the whole day had already been filled with memories, Lars’ mind wandered back to the early days with Sadie. They had a lot of history together. They'd been friends and coworkers, they'd developed feelings for each other, they'd danced around said feelings a lot at first, they'd tried dating, they'd gone through a lot of changes, they tried dating again only to realize they weren't the same people they used to be anymore, and now it had all come full circle back to being the friends they once were. But better this time.
Even though Lars had once found it so hard to admit even to himself, much less to anyone else, he would always love her. Even if just platonically. She still meant a lot to him and she always would. Nothing would ever change that.
He guessed it was part of life to learn that liking someone didn't always mean they were the right person. He was just glad that Sadie was hopefully finding someone who could be what she needed.
(Cause he knew he could never be that. At least, he couldn't back when it had still mattered.)
Sadie glanced over at him, breaking his train of thought with her next words. “How about you? Been interested in anyone lately?”
Lars laughed, the notion almost sounding ridiculous to him. “I own a shop and I'm also a leader of a whole team. I don't have time for a relationship.”
Sadie laughed, too. “Ah, okay. Makes sense.”
Lars gave the question a bit of thought. “But I don't know. Maybe it’ll happen eventually. Or maybe it won't. I'm not sure yet.”
“Well, hey. As long as you're happy, that's what's important.”
“The weird thing is, I am.”
Lars paused after giving that response. Even now, after he had grown so much in ways he never thought he could, sometimes it still felt strange to be able to say he was happy in full confidence instead of it being a lie.
Not that things were perfect, of course. Being brought back to (practically eternal) life did bring its own slew of problems. And he still struggled with depression and anxiety (which had been magnified in some ways since being brought back but minimized in others). But Lars could at least say he was doing a lot better than he was a few years ago when he was a severely depressed and anxious teen who couldn't even see any semblance of a future.
“You say weird, I say good,” Sadie said.
“Well, yeah. It is good, I just spent so long thinking I'd never reach that point,” Lars admitted. “So now that I have, it's taken some getting used to.”
“I always knew you could. You just had to stop getting in your own way first.”
“...That’s one way to put it.” Lars thought back, realizing how right Sadie was. He really had gotten in his own way so many times and couldn't even see it at points.
“I'm right, and you know it.”
“Yeah, yeah. You're right most of the time. But…y’know, it wasn't an easy habit to break.”
Sadie nodded sympathetically. “I know, I get it.”
“I guess you would. We were both messes when we were younger, huh?”
Sadie laughed. “That's one way to put it.”
“Right?” Lars agreed.
Sadie laughed a bit more, thinking back to how the two of them had both been such messes as kids and how that all felt so far away now.
The moment passed, then Lars glanced over at her again. “So, I'm curious. Tell me about this person you like.”
Instantaneously, a smile crossed Sadie's face. “Their name's Shep. They're so nice and so cool. And so pretty. And we have a lot in common. We both love music, for one thing. And…augh.” Her face turned dreamy.
“Someone's got it bad,” Lars teased, grinning at her.
“Lars!” Sadie scolded, but she began to laugh. “...Okay, you're right. I do.”
“Of course I'm right.” Lars was still grinning.
“Shush, you.” Sadie looked away, her face heating up.
Lars just chuckled.
Once the moment passed, the pink boy’s eyes landed on a video game on the desk. One that he didn't recognize.
He glanced over at Sadie, pointing at the video game. “Hey, is that new?”
Sadie headed over to see what he was pointing at, then nodded. “Oh yeah, it is. I got it a while back, but I haven't played it yet.”
“Haven't had the time?”
“That's part of it.”
“What's the other reason?”
Sadie looked over at him. “I was thinking maybe we could play it together once we both had the time. I miss our video game sessions.”
“Sounds fun,” Lars commented, admitting to himself that he had also missed those times. They had actually been one of the few bright spots in his life back then. “Let's do it.”
Sadie grinned and hooked up the video game. Once the game booted up, she glanced over at the tall boy. “Best of three?”
“Best of three,” Lars agreed.
They selected their avatars and began a round, both giving it their all.
It was anyone's game at a few points, but Lars ended up being the victor of round one.
“Darn it,” Sadie sighed.
Lars grinned. “I've still got it.”
“Yeah, yeah. So do I.”
“We’ll see about that.”
They started another round, and Sadie was the one to win this time.
“Wha-” Lars’ jaw dropped as he looked over at her.
Sadie smiled. “Told ya.”
“We've still got one round to go, don't get so conceited yet.”
“Me? Conceited? Never.”
“Sure, Sade.”
Both laughing as they traded banter, the next round began.
Once again, they both gave it their all.
Sadie thought she was going to be the victor again, until…
“What?!” she exclaimed, staring at the screen in disbelief as her avatar sank to the ground and the health bar depleted.
“Bingo, bongo!” Lars grinned, making finger guns at Sadie.
Sadie glanced over at him and began to laugh again. Even just hearing that phrase brought back so many memories. She still remembered the day that phrase was born and how Lars had sunk to the ground in embarrassment after the first time he had said it.
(It also reminded her that it was one of the last times she had seen Lars before he died and came back to life. So it was bittersweet.)
But now he seemed to have claimed the phrase with full confidence and was proud to use it. There wasn't a trace of embarrassment in sight.
And if Sadie was being honest, she loved that. She was so proud of him. He had grown so much from the anxious, depressed, closed-off, and insecure boy she once knew.
Lars glanced at his watch. “Oh, I should probably get going. My crew’s probably wondering where I am by now.”
“Yeah, you wouldn't want to worry them,” Sadie noted.
“I wouldn't,” Lars replied, getting the feeling that Rhodonite was especially beginning to freak out right now. He got up and began to mount the stairs, opening the door to the basement.
Sadie followed to see him out.
The two of them entered the foyer, the same nostalgic mood still hanging over them.
“Well…I'll see you around, Player One,” Sadie said, waving as she used the old nickname for him.
Lars grinned, making a finger gun at her. “Catch you later, Player Two.” He opened the door and exited the house, closing the door behind him as he began to stroll down the street again.
He was quiet as he walked, though his mind was anything but.
He had done it. He had worked up the courage to apologize to his old friend/something more. The two of them had made amends and talked through everything they'd failed to talk through when they were still teenagers who sucked at communicating.
Though if he was being honest, that whole conversation had felt bittersweet.
Getting that last bit of closure with Sadie and coming to realize that what they once had was over had made Lars feel as if the final chapter of his old life had come to an end.
He was no longer coworkers with Sadie, the two of them had moved on romantically from each other but remained friends, he became friends with Steven after spending so long being annoyed by him, he saved a crew of Gems he didn't know and became their captain, he used to be depressed, anxious, or bitter most of the time but had grown to be more confident and nice, and he had started to embrace who he really was instead of trying so hard to hide it. Sometimes it still felt strange to look back at his old self and realize how far he had come.
As they said, when one door closed, another one opened.
The door on his thing with Sadie had closed for example, as had the other doors of his old life. But so many new ones had opened up.
Lars had put in the work to become someone he could not only just live with, but someone he could finally say he actually liked. Business at his bakery was going well. He had learned to be himself. He had made so many more friends than he ever thought possible.
Most of all, he was happy.
Just a few years ago, he never thought he would achieve that. But he had. His life had grown so much brighter than he ever thought it would.
As for Sadie, she was also feeling lighter after having talked things out with Lars. She would always be grateful for the good times they shared, but she had also come to realize that it hadn't been healthy for either of them and put an end to it. She had set them both free, herself to potentially find a new partner, and him to do the same if he ever decided he wanted that.
She was glad to still be friends with him, though. Despite their past, he still remained one of the most important people to her.
A lot had changed for them both. It had been scary at times, but it was also exciting.
They would keep moving forward.