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Off-Camera

Summary:

On set while filming Coyote vs Acme, Wile E and Roadie can’t help but be absolute menaces (and flirt with each other the entire time).

Notes:

Loving the Wileroad I've been seeing on my dash! I thought I'd add to it a bit more.

Also....MAJOR SPOILERS FOR COYOTE VS ACME! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Work Text:

Wile E and Road Runner, the latter better known to friends and fellow Looney Tunes, as 'Roadie', were consummate professionals of the highest degree. They had worked for over seventy years and counting in animated show business and as long as Roadie could run and Wile E could think, they weren't going to stop at all.

So even though Coyote vs ACME had been nearly entirely filmed when it was first shelved by Warner Bros, Wile E and Roadie still had to re-shoot some scenes because the film makers wanted to make sure that they were more "fresh" to the audience. The two of them didn't mind at all. They had waited nearly three years for this movie to be shown to the public. What was the harm in doing a couple more things?

Even so...Wile E and Roadie were still Looney Tunes at heart. And they couldn't resist having fun and being just a little mischievous while doing it. 

Scene 1:

It was during one of the very beginning scenes that things started happening in not the way they were intended. The scene had called for a high stakes chase between them, similar to coyote and roadrunner's cartoons of old. Wile E would use his classic rocket roller skates then crash onto a wind turbine. After that, he would then use a gauntlet ala Infinity Wars to try and catch Roadie. The products would naturally backfire and fail on him as usual...leading to a destructive set of hijinks that ultimately ended with Wile E in a crater. 

Only Wile E and Roadie had their own ideas. And none of them aligned with what Dave had planned. 

"Alright, you two," Dave Green called out to the coyote and roadrunner from where a further distance away at where he was standing. He didn't want to get blown up by two of the more...destructive Looney Tunes after all. "You both remember what to do?"

Wile E and Roadie both signed "YES", quickly sharing a knowing look between them that Dave didn't manage to catch in time.

Dave nodded at the two, cupping his hands to his mouth and yelling out "Alright...action!"

With that, filming began.

The crew watched from safely away as Wile E and Roadie began their chase. Wile E pressed the button on the rocket skates and instantly, they began to work in not the way he intended. The coyote pretended to flail and fumble about....but when he got close to Roadie, instead of Roadie speeding up and away, something else happened.

Wile E actually managed to grab Roadie around the neck.

The crew gasped in horror, some even covering their eyes. But Dave, who bravely decided to watch the entire scene, noticed that something entirely different was happening.

As soon as he had gotten his hands on the bird, Wile E had swept Roadie up into his arms bridal style, a lovesick, flirtatious smile on his face. Roadie for his part, looked positively pleased by this development, laying his head against Wile E's shoulder, seeming to actually be enjoying it. The two blasted off down the road, circling back to speed past the crew members, ignoring their yells of protest.

And Dave could see the peck on the lips Roadie had given Wile E.

"What the--?! Wile E! Put him down!" Dave yelled after the retreating coyote. "You're supposed to be chasing him!"

Wile E simply turned his head around to Dave and smirked, Roadie in his arms giggling all the while.

Scene 2:

The second scene was during the scene of Roadie standing in front of the giant birdseed ACME left out for him. Now, Roadie was supposed to stand in front of it for a bit, watching the large amount of seeds...and then take off in a blur while humiliating the ACME team in the process.

"Alright, this shouldn't be too bad," Dave muttered to himself, pacing back and forth as the crew set up. "Wile E isn't in this scene. There's no chance for any interruptions."

Too bad he would very much eat his words.

Roadie was standing in front of the seeds, staring at it with the same carefree smile he wore for filming. Just as he was about to move and dash off, humiliating ACME in the process, Wile E suddenly popped out of the seeds and swept Roadie up into his arms in a large kiss.

The crew was looking absolutely mortified as their cameras captured the entire moment. John Cena's eyes popped out significantly at the scene from where he was watching. "No, no, no, no!" Dave yelled, waving his arms about. "Wile E! You're not supposed to be in this scene! Stop kissing him!"

Wile E responded by kissing Roadie even harder, holding up a sign that read "TRULY CAN'T HELP IT DAVE. HE'S TOO IRRESISTIBLE." Wile E then opened his mouth a little further, allowing the coyote and roadrunner's kiss to further deepen.

Nearby, standing with the actor playing his henchman, Tweety was laughing so hard, he was holding his sides. "You go, you two!"

Scene 3:

Finally, they were nearing the climax. It was the courtroom scene, the moment everyone in the audience had been waiting for. Roadie had taken the witness stand and testifying to everyone about the harm he had seen the ACME products do to Wile E over the years.

It was supposed to be an emotional and climatic moment. That's what was intended. That was the final vision Dave Green had.

Only Roadie was in a much different mood. Since Wile E had swept him off his feet the entire time they had been filming, it was time to turn the tables back on the coyote.

And Roadie had the absolute most perfect way of doing so.

"Is there anything else you would like to say?" Will Forte, playing as Kevin Avery, asked Roadie.

"Beep Beep!" Roadie affirmed. A mischievous glint was hidden in his eye, which Wile E noticed (he always did) but quickly kept to himself. Even so, the coyote hid a small smile.

The coyote couldn't wait to see what Roadie had planned.

"The floor is yours," Will Forte stated, still playing in character.

Roadie immediately began to speak, "Beep Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep!"

The message was supposed to be "are you coming back?" But the translator who had to say it caught a very DIFFERENT message.

"L...e...t...i....t" she muttered to herself as she quickly worked to translate Roadie. Not knowing what to do, and unsure of whether she was supposed to repeat the message or not (she hadn't been told what the intended message was) she turned the microphone on and said, "Let it be known that Wile E Coyote is extremely handsome."

The crowd looked completely shocked, everyone turning to Wile E. From where he was filming, Dave Green buried his face in his hands, completely groaning and near giving up entirely. Foghorn Leghorn caught Wile E's eye and gave him a quick, proud nod from where he was sitting.

Wile E stood up from his seat, proudly holding up a sign that read 'QUITE THE TRUTH INDEED." From the witness stand, Roadie let out a happy "Beep Beep!" in agreement before running over to the coyote's side and giving him a peck on the cheek proudly.