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Bright sunlight against snow made it hard to see. Techno kept his eyes on the ice below his feet as he climbed the steep slope at the South Pole, frigid overworld air seizing in his chest even with a scarf over his mouth.
Rocks fell on the other side of the peak and Techno heard a muffled curse.
“Phil?”
“Hiya, mate!”
A shadow fell over the ground as Techno finally made it to the top, and he blinked spots out of his vision as the heavily-bundled-up form of his friend became visible. “My co-emperor!” Techno slung an arm around Phil’s shoulders and squeezed briefly. “We’re goin’ to do beautiful things here, Phil. This world’s never goin’ to know what happened.”
Phil laughed, dark wing coming around to bop Techno in the back of the shoulder. “Glad to be here.”
“And there’s no one I’d rather found an empire with.” Techno looked out over the Antarctic landscape, stark white against blue. Far below him, there was a single moving shadow. “The only problem I’m seeing is that there is another person on my land. I invited you, I don’t want random guests visitin’. Our house isn’t built yet, I’m not ready to entertain. We’re gonna have to get rid of this guy, Phil.”
Phil’s eyes crinkled above the scarf wrapping his face as he reached for his sword. “I’ll handle it.”
Techno barked out a laugh, cold air burning in his lungs as he followed his friend. “I could have meant showin’ him the exit, Phil, you don’t have to go straight for murder.”
Phil was already skidding down the slope on his heels, using his wings to break. “No you fuckin’ didn’t!”
Phil pulled a folded paper out of his pocket and handed it to Techno. “Wasn’t sure what you needed, so I got this shit ready.”
The tropical wind pulled at Phil’s hair and Techno’s mane, the tiny rocky island they had both landed planes not having enough underbrush to provide cover. Techno stared at the list. “You did what?”
Phil patted the side of his plane. “Most of it’s on here, but—oh, fuckin’ forgot one.” His hand went into the pocket of his aviator’s jacket and came out with a gleaming object. “I got a couple notch apples.”
Techno stared at the enchanted item his co-emperor was holding. “Heh?”
“I’ve got sixteen—well I’ve got more in my ender chest.” Phil held it out to Techno. “Packed the plane with everythin’ I could think that we might need, but if we need anythin’ more I can probably get back home before we go.”
Techno got to the bottom of the list and stared at Phil, still holding the apple. He went to go look in the back of Phil’s plane. “Heh—I get the flu for a couple days and Phil supplies an army by himself.”
Phil waved a hand, grinning. He put the apple back in his pocket. “Wanted to contribute, been grindin’ a bit, you know how it is.”
“Well I got stuck in a wall and had to respawn, so I’ve also been contributing.” Techno picked up a piece of enchanted armour, metal light enough to fight in despite the lines of power etched in it. “Phil, you don’t even need me, what is this? You’re leavin’ me in the dust.”
“I wanted to help out! Wanted to be prepared.” Phil chuckled, eyes intent on Techno. “Think we’ve got everythin’?”
“This is gonna be a cake walk. They aren’t gonna know what hit them.” Techno grinned at his co-emperor, the expression tugging around his tusks. “Let’s go take over the world, Phil.”
There was a crowd waiting in the entryway of the courthouse in San Malo, between Techno and the exit. As soon as the door opened flashbulbs exploded and bodies pressed forward.
“Technoblade, Technoblade!” Reporters tried to shove enchanted microphones into Techno’s line of vision. “How do you feel about the verdict?”
Flashbulbs kept exploding as Techno tried to push foward. He angled his body between the reporters and Phil, using his bulk to block their view. He could feel Phil pressed behind him, his friend’s wings wrapped around him and obscuring him at the edges. He kept his tone dry. “If the court has decided that justice has been served, who am I to say that the process is rife with corruption?”
“Technoblade, Technoblade!” Another reporter shoved forward, microphone held in Techno’s face. “What do you say to reports that your piglin nature made this act of violence inevitable?”
“What the fuck?” Techno heard Phil say behind him, wings tightening. “Are we for real right now?”
Techno kept shoving forward, eyes on the exit. He reached behind him. Phil clasped his hand. “Ah yes, my people, well known for playin’ tricks with maps. Keep this in mind next time you go to the Nether.”
“Technoblade, Technoblade!” He was almost at the door, but one last mic was shoved in his face. “What do you say to reports that you’re intimidating your faction members and taking advantage of Philza’s gentle avian nature?”
Techno turned his head to look at the reporter, pink eyebrows raised, and the figure took a step back. Phil was already shoving forward, holding tight to Techno’s hand as he stood in front of him.
“I think I’ll let my co-emperor take this one,” Techno said.
Phil’s wings spread wide, Techno’s tusked face visible between them. Flashbulbs exploded as he bared his teeth at the reporter. “Fuck off and fuckin’ die, asshole, and you can fuckin’ quote me.”
The exited hum of the crowd died down as Techno and Phil stepped onto the dias, a hundred feathered and scaled and tusked faces turned towards the front of the room. “Sure we gotta do this in public?” Techno said to Phil under his breath. “It’s not too late to have a quiet ceremony with just us. Maybe we don’t have to get dressed up for it either.”
Phil grinned at him, the golden threads strung through his ears gleaming in the Antarctic sunlight. He was wearing a dress uniform that was the pair to Techno’s, red and blue cape over sky blue and gold.“May as well get it over with, mate.”
Techno sighed exaggeratedly, then took a position in front of a table with a few objects covered by the antarctic flag. He peeled the cloth back to display two circlets. “I’m bein’ bullied, that’s what this is. Rank bullyin’.”
Phil’s eyes crinkled in the corners. He took a deep breath and put a hand on one of the circlets. “Technoblade,” he raised his voice. “Do you accept the position as head of the Antarctic Empire, and promise to lead fairly and justly, respecting and providing for your citizens?”
Technoblade looked abjectly at Phil for a moment, which Phil kept smiling at him through, then cleared his throat. He straightened his shoulders. “I’ll do that, yeah.”
Phil picked up one of the gold circlets. “Bend down, will you, mate?”
Phil had made the crown for him, and this was the first time Techno had seen it. Techno kept his eyes on Phil’s hands as he went to one knee and bent down enough for Phil to reach his head. The circlet was made of the distinctive reddish tinted nether gold, tiny flecks of netherite entwining with chips of diamond into geometric patterns reminiscent of the Antarctic mountains. Phil reached out and put it carefully on Techno’s head.
“There you go,” he said, patting Techno’s shoulder. “All good.”
Techno straightened and picked up the the crown he’d made for Phil, end stone and fragments of eyes of ender amid sweeping golden wings. “Philza, do you accept the position of head of the Antarctic Empire, and promise to lead fairly and justly, respecting and providing for your citizens?”
Phil scrunched his face for a moment, then projected his voice to be heard out in the hall. “Sure do.”
Techno raised the crown. “C’mere.”
Phil stepped forward and bent his head, and Techno rested enchanted gold on blond strands. Phil straightened and blinked at him, hands coming up to touch the circlet. “Prot IV?” he hissed.
“Well, if I was makin’ you somethin’,” Techno answered reasonably, sotto voce. Phil laughed at him. Techno took his hand and squeezed it as they turned to face the crowd. Cheering broke out, and Techno stepped off the dias towards the tables and dance floor set up at the end of the hall. “It’s not too late to have a medical emergency, Phil,” he said under his breath.
The crowd started pushing around them. “Congratulations!” a figure with scales at the corner of their eyes said, beaming. They reached out to shake Phil’s hand. “Made it official and everything.”
“Thanks mate, ‘preciate it,” Phil answered. They took a few steps further into the crowd, more congratulatory faces crowding around. Phil bumped into Techno with his shoulder, wing coming around to tap him on the back of the shoulder as he stayed by his side. He dropped his voice to be heard just by his co-emperor. “I’ll be with you the whole fuckin’ time, Techno.”
Techno heaved a sigh as he came into the bedroom, taking off his glasses and putting them on the side table. Phil grinned at him from an armchair with cutouts for his wings, legs tucked up under a knitted blanket. “Finally made it out of meetin’s?”
“I thought they’d never let me go.” Techno pulled his hoof covers off and unbuttoned the top button his uniform, flopping facedown on the couch. “Technoblade, you need to sign off on this program, Technoblade, you need to look at this paperwork, Technoblade, you need to give us your opinion on this. What am I, in charge here?” He raised his face from cushions and then smacked it back into the fabric of the couch, voice coming out muffled. “Bruh.”
Phil leaned forward and pushed a plate of crackers and various toppings forward on the coffee table. “Picked up some snacks for you in the kitchen.”
“I can always depend on you Phil, even when the world is against me.” Techno turned on his side and reached out to make a cracker sandwich. “How’d you get out so early anyways?” he said, muffled by a mouthful of crackers.
Phil grinned at him, a little rueful. “I’ve got a meetin’ at midnight with someone who’s comin’ in from kpop, this is just a break.”
“They hate us, that’s the only explanation.” Techno turned onto his back, putting the plate on his chest, the better to convey crackers and cheese to his mouth. “We gotta do somethin’ about people tryin’ to talk to us. This really says a lot about society.” He heaved a sigh. “And now you’ve taken all the blankets? Maybe I can’t count on anyone after all.”
“What do you mean?” Phil’s voice was outraged. “There’s blankets in the fuckin’ closet, mate.”
“Too far. I’m gonna die here.” Techno closed his eyes, eating another cracker blindly. “Freeze to death, abandoned by my closest ally.”
“Mate.” Phil got up and shook himself out, then flopped full-length on top of Techno, head cushioned on his chest.
“My crackers!” Techno pulled his plate of food closer up his mouth, and then cautiously put his elbows down as Phil settled his wings over both of them in a dark covering. “Oh I see how it is.” He used his off hand to scritch at Phil’s scalp. “My co-emperor has decided not to share the blankets, he’s going to be a blanket, I see how it is.”
“Well, you were complainin’.” Phil’s voice was muffled as he found a comfortable spot to lie.
“And straight to the problem and fixed it.” Techno kept patting Phil’s hair. “That’s what I love about my co-emperor, always straight to the heart of a problem. It’s an efficiency I only dream of when I’m stuck in a meetin’.”
Phil chuckled, then yawned. His muscles had gone slack next to the warmth of his friend. “Wake me up before midnight, will ya?”
“Will do.” Techno moved the plate to Phil's back and then situated him comfortably under his chin. “Glad you’re on my side, Philza Minecraft.”
The answering response was sleepy. “Same to you, mate.”