Chapter Text
September 26th, 2013
“It appears that what we initially reported as riots seem to be somehow connected…”
Today had started off completely normally for Tyler Joseph. He’d woken up, said goodbye to his family as they went out shopping, and waited for his best friend to pick him up. Josh was supposed to be here by now, but Tyler supposed traffic could be bad. That was all it could possibly be, in his mind. Nothing yet had given him any reason to worry.
So he was sitting, half-watching TV as he waited for Josh to show up. Tyler was excited for today; they’d planned to work on the new batch of songs. He really had good ideas this time, and he was certain their next album was going to be the hit they were waiting for.
“...connected to the nationwide pandemic. We've received reports that victims afflicted with the infection show..."
Tyler turned his attention to what seemed to be a government broadcast on his TV. He frowned, trying to make sense of it. Infection? He vaguely remembered hearing about that, but his parents had reassured him it was nowhere near Ohio, and they’d be completely safe. Tyler wasn’t so sure.
A sharp knock on his door snapped him back to reality. He opened his front door, finding his best friend smiling warmly.
“Hey, Ty, ready-”
“Josh, you need to go home. Something’s happening…” Tyler shook his head. “There’s…these warnings on TV. My family’s out, but yours is home, right?”
“Yeah?” Josh frowned. “Okay…let’s…let’s go.”
Tyler nodded, hurrying out the door. His mind was drifting to his own family, somewhere far more populated. He sent a quick text to his brother, anxiety building in his stomach.
They sped off down the street, Josh’s trustworthy old van carrying the two boys back to Josh’s house. Tyler couldn’t help but pray that his best friend’s family would be okay. He hadn’t heard from his own parents, or even siblings. Tyler felt sick.
It wasn’t a long drive, but it felt like years to Tyler, plenty of time for his anxiety to morph into something horrifyingly new. This was far more like dread. Like he already knew what they’d find. Tyler hated this feeling, like he knew something Josh didn’t but he was incapable of expressing it. He prayed he was wrong.
Josh pulled into his driveway, leaving the van unlocked and getting out.
“Everything looks normal,” Josh murmured. “You sure the warning is for here? For Columbus?”
“Josh, it’s for everywhere,” Tyler replied darkly. He was trying to be rational, but those warnings…they’d really unsettled him.
The two boys wandered into Josh’s house. It was uncharacteristically silent. Were they even home?
Tyler lingered in the hallway, a deep sense of uneasiness eating away at his stomach. Something didn’t feel right. Tyler knew something was wrong, felt it deep in his bones. But he just couldn’t put his finger on it. He fought against his instincts to run away. He needed to keep watch over Josh.
Speaking of Josh. He’d stopped moving, staring at something in a room that Tyler couldn’t see. He hurried over, strange sounds becoming audible.
“What…”
“Jordan?” Josh whispered around the corner.
Tyler’s heart dropped when he saw what Josh was looking at. A mutated form, gnarled and twisted up, wearing Jordan’s favourite shirt. What looked like some kind of living fungus crawling up the sides of its…face?
It was distinctly inhuman.
“Josh, we have to go,” he warned, grabbing the man’s arm. “Come on!”
“No, Jordan-”
The thing snarled, lunging forwards. Tyler yanked his best friend out of the way, and started running. Thank God, Josh turned and ran too, no longer trying to talk to his brother. Or what used to be his brother. The thought was sickening.
Then Josh stopped moving again.
Tyler’s heart stopped. He was overcome with the primal need to protect his best friend, no matter what. He needed to keep Josh safe. That was the only thought in his mind right now. No regard for his own safety, or how terrified he was. Everything stopped when he realised that Josh was in danger.
“No,” he whispered. “No, no, please-”
“We have to go!” Tyler yelled, grabbing Josh by the collar of his shirt and dragging him back to the car.
He managed to shove him into the passenger seat, and ran to the driver’s side. He started the engine, and was about to drive away, when he saw more of those things emerging from Josh’s house.
His family. Oh, God, no.
“No!” Josh screamed, reaching for the door.
God bless Tyler’s reaction time. He flicked the switch and locked all the doors, leaving Josh yanking the handle uselessly. It sent daggers through his heart, knowing his actions were hurting Josh so badly. But he couldn’t lose his best friend.
“Let me out! Let me go, it’s my family, it’s my family!” he screamed desperately.
“No,” Tyler squeezed his eyes shut and muttered. “It’s not. We have to go.”
He pulled out of the driveway, trying desperately to ignore Josh’s screams. He’d gradually shifted to harsh sobs, slamming his hand against the glass. Tyler was so distracted by his best friend’s distress that he almost hit someone in the middle of the street, the car swerving around them. As they passed, Tyler realised it was another one of those things.
“Dear heavenly father,” he murmured a prayer under his breath. “Protect us. Please protect us. I don’t know what’s happening, but I am afraid, and I need your protection. For me, and for Josh. And for Josh’s family. And mine.”
His voice wavered by the end of it. Josh was still screaming, his raw grief sending shivers down Tyler’s spine. He couldn’t do anything. Josh was suffering, and he couldn’t do anything at all, except pray.
“I’m begging you, please. Amen.”
Josh had stopped screaming, now just sitting stiffly and staring directly ahead. He had a far-off look in his eyes, his face red and streaked with tears.
“I…I have a voicemail…” Josh suddenly whispered. “From before we got there.”
“Oh…no, Josh…” he tried to warn.
But Josh had already pressed play.
“Josh! Something’s…something’s happening. I don’t know what. But don’t come home. Stay at Tyler’s tonight, don’t bring him here. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening to me-”
A sharp scream blasted over Josh’s phone speakers, along with a muffled groan. The voicemail ended with a beep.
His best friend sobbed brokenly, curling in on himself in the passenger seat.
“...Josh,” Tyler tried. He didn’t know what to do. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t. Just…don’t.”
He nodded stiffly, focusing back on the road. He didn’t exactly know where he was going, only that they needed to get as far away from that house as possible. He supposed he should go home. His own family had gone out today, and Tyler had no clue where they were or what was happening to them. There was nothing he could do, and honestly, he didn’t want to know.
They drove in silence the rest of the way to Tyler’s house, where he parked haphazardly in the driveway. At the very least, the house would be relatively safe for now.
“Josh?”
Needless to say, it took a little convincing to get the man out of the car.
He was frozen in place, breathing shallowly. Tyler had hoped he’d be able to just talk to Josh, and have him listen, but it didn’t seem all that likely right now. His best friend was probably in shock, refusing to fully process what had happened.
“Hey. I know…that was messed up. But we need to go inside. Figure out what’s happening, and what we need to do next.”
“Nothin’ to do next,” he whispered hollowly. “They’re all…I should be dead.”
“No. No, hey, it’s…it’s not your fault, Josh. You still need to live.”
It was eerily similar to words Josh had said to Tyler only months ago. They felt strange coming out of his mouth. It was terrifying and confusing, but Tyler needed to take charge, for Josh’s sake. He had to do something.
“We’re going in the house now.”
He walked over to the passenger side, and forcibly pulled his best friend from the vehicle. Tyler stumbled under Josh’s body weight, but managed to drag him into the house, locking the door behind them. He subconsciously breathed a sigh of relief.
They stumbled into Tyler’s room, just in time for Josh to collapse fully. Tyler managed to get him onto the bed, where he sat completely still. Almost definitely in shock.
Tyler decided to try and figure out what was happening, opening his laptop. All he found was a government warning, describing some kind of disease. From what he could tell, it was everywhere. Not just Ohio, or even America. The entire world was in a state of panic.
He sat down on the bed beside Josh, panic filling his chest. His best friend was in no state to help him right now, but the closeness was enough to ground him. Tyler needed to take charge of this situation.
“Josh, I need you to stay right here. I’m going to pack some bags, try and gather the stuff we’ll need. I don’t really have a plan, but I’m gonna figure something out. Need to know you’re going to be okay while I do that, though.”
The man only stared straight ahead. He tilted his head, the slightest of nods.
“Okay, good. Doors are all locked, we’re safe here. I’m going to…I’m going to figure this out.”
Tyler began moving around the room, gathering up two backpacks. He ran around the house, stuffing the bags with anything that could be useful. He found plenty of canned foods in the pantry, as well as heaps of water bottles. He tried to think of it like prepping for a natural disaster. In a way, that’s exactly what was happening.
The news had said contaminated food, but the Josephs hadn’t done their grocery shopping for the week yet. They had been planning to do it today. Tyler shook off the thought of his family. He’d left them a few texts and voicemails, to no response. He didn’t want to think about what that meant. Logically, all their food should be safe.
He also grabbed a pocket knife, and the small handgun his father had bought but never used. Tyler didn’t know how to use it, he’d only been briefed on the safety features once, but he thought now was as good a time as any to learn.
As he rushed back to Josh in his room, Tyler remembered his brother’s baseball bat. It could be useful. People used baseball bats in zombie movies, right? He grabbed it just in case, and presented all the stuff to Josh. The man didn’t really respond, but at least his eyes were moving now.
“Josh, here, we should have spare clothes with us too,” Tyler mumbled, draping a jacket over his best friend’s shoulders. “This’ll fit you, we’re similar sizes.”
The man nodded, still not talking.
“We need to pack all this stuff into the van. Can you help me carry it?”
“Okay,” Josh murmured, standing stiffly.
As he grabbed one of the bags, Tyler noticed the man’s hand shaking. He decided not to question it, knowing it would only lead to a conversation that neither of them wanted to have.
They wandered out to the car, and began loading their supplies in.
“Okay, that should be-” he was cut off by a loud bang.
Tyler flinched away from the sound. Josh didn’t. He simply stood, eyes wide, as gunshots echoed through the streets.
“Get down!” Tyler yelled, pulling Josh behind the van.
Gunshots rang out, and someone began screaming. Tyler quickly checked Josh for injuries, suddenly terrified that he might be hurt. Thank God, he was okay.
“Let’s go,” Tyler muttered. “Come on, let’s go.”
He dragged his best friend to the passenger seat, eyes darting around desperately for danger. He’d never been this scared, never felt his heart beat so fast. And Tyler had experienced his fair share of panic attacks. This was different. Actual, real danger.
“Seatbelt, J,” he mumbled, kicking the van into drive.
God, he was glad he’d learned to drive this thing just as comfortably as his parents' car. It was really paying off today.
He sped down the street, foot on the accelerator until he couldn’t hear gunshots or screams anymore. Logically, Tyler knew they’d run out of gas eventually. But logic didn’t matter, when literal monsters had chased after his best friend. All Tyler really wanted was to get Josh somewhere safe.
|-/
Tyler ended up parking in the little parking lot by the lake. He was still paranoid, but they had to stop at some point, and try to assess what to do next. Plus, it was getting dark. Something told Tyler that keeping the headlights on would be a bad idea, and they were far enough away from the main city of Columbus, that it felt safe.
“Alright, we should be safe spending the night here. Seems pretty empty around here, and the doors are locked,” Tyler stated, mostly for himself.
Josh didn’t respond. Tyler knew there wasn’t much he could do, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try. He decided that one of them had to find some kind of will to live, and if Josh couldn’t do that right now…Tyler would do it for him.
“C’mon, you can have the good pillow. Let’s get everything all set up.”
He helped Josh crawl into the back of the van, watching cautiously as he shuffled around. Tyler didn’t know what to do next.
“Don’t suppose you want some dinner?” Tyler tried.
“No,” Josh muttered.
He’d expected that response, but it was still difficult to hear. Tyler needed to get this situation under control by himself. He organised the most important things into their backpacks, trying to fit everything they might need if they had to go on foot.
Honestly, after years of weird intrusive thoughts and anxiety spirals, Tyler was feeling oddly calm in this situation. Maybe not calm exactly, and more likely in shock, but the shock hadn’t worn off and didn’t seem like it would any time soon.
So for now, he remained the functional one of the pair. Tyler didn’t really like that thought. Josh shouldn’t be sitting here carrying so much trauma that he couldn’t function. It just wasn’t right. Josh was supposed to be happy and carefree. The scariest thing to Tyler right now was the idea that Josh might not be himself ever again. Tyler certainly wouldn’t blame him, but he couldn’t fathom a world where Josh wasn’t Josh.
He moved some things around, making enough space for the two of them to comfortably lie down. It wasn’t hard; they hadn’t put a lot in their backpacks, but there were already a few miscellaneous items of Josh’s. A bright yellow bandana caught his eye, tied around the strap of an old camera. He picked up the Polaroid camera, taking in the details. It was exactly the sort of thing he’d expect his best friend to own. Artsy, and fun. Cool. Josh had always been the cool kid out of the two of them.
“Hey, I didn’t know you had one of these.”
It was hard for Tyler to be so energetic all the time, but he felt like he owed it to Josh. His best friend had hardly shown a single emotion since they’d left his house. It terrified him. As much as it was painful for Tyler to try to keep everything going, he knew that he had to. If he broke down right now, Josh wouldn’t be able to help. And then on top of his own distress, he’d be useless to Josh. So, he needed to keep marching on.
“Yeah, I do,” Josh replied monotonously.
“D’you wanna take a picture?” Tyler tried again, to a similar response.
Josh only shrugged, not meeting his eye.
“We can save it for later. You don’t wanna talk, that’s fine. I just gotta know you’re still with me.”
The man didn’t respond, only curling up in the corner of the van. He was trembling, even with the jacket draped over his shoulders. Tyler understood pretty well that it wasn’t from the cold. He was only just barely holding himself together right now. Tyler needed to do this.
“Okay, Josh…” he started awkwardly. “Just listen to me for a minute. I know this whole thing is beyond messed up, and you…you should never have had to deal with that. It’s going to be hard. I just want you to know…I’m here. You can scream, cry, yell at me. Anything.”
Josh looked up at him, resting on his arm. His deep brown eyes were bloodshot and shiny with tears under the soft fairy lights. He was beautiful, somehow, even now. But Tyler shouldn’t be thinking that. Not now, not ever. Focus.
“If there’s anything, anything I can do…you know I’ll do it.”
“Nothin’ you can do,” Josh whispered shakily.
“Not even a hug?”
He seemed to consider it, before crawling over and dropping his head to Tyler’s chest. Josh didn’t cry so much as shake with quiet sobs. He was breathing shallowly, slowly building into whining cries and gasps. It was horrifying to hear his best friend make these sounds. This was something Tyler had never dealt with, and he had no idea how to help, or even respond.
Josh continued to sob and whimper against him, sounding almost like a wounded animal. God, take his pain away. Please.
“Shh,” he whispered, rocking them both slightly. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
His cries grew to choked screams. Tyler couldn’t tell if this was better or worse than how Josh had been before, a shell of himself. He decided it was at least good that his best friend was actually feeling his emotions, instead of repressing them. Even though the emotions were so terrible.
“I’ve got you, shh. You’re okay,” he tried to reassure.
“No, no, Ty, I can’t do this,” Josh sobbed. “I don’t wanna do this anymore, I can’t do this!”
Tyler’s heart broke. His best friend was in so much pain, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. When it was Tyler, it was okay. The pain always felt right, in a way. Not this. Never this, never Josh. He shouldn’t ever have to feel this.
“I wanna be with-with Jordan,” he cried hard, gasping for breath. “I shouldn’t be alive! Let me go!”
He couldn’t respond, only holding Josh tighter. He didn’t flinch when the man started hitting him weakly, one fist connecting with his side. He knew it was an uncontrollable response. He was sure he’d done worse, lashing out when his emotions overwhelmed him. Tyler owed it to his best friend to just keep on holding him. It was all he could really do.
“I miss my family,” Josh sobbed, burying his face in Tyler’s shirt.
“I know,” Tyler whispered. “I know.”
Gradually, over what almost felt like hours, Josh’s sobs grew softer, until he was only shaking. The tremors didn’t seem like they would be leaving anytime soon. At least Josh appeared to calm down a little. Still, he clung to Tyler.
“Get some sleep. We’re gonna be okay.”
Tyler didn’t believe the words for a second, but he needed to do this for Josh. Needed to find some way to comfort him, when it seemed like nothing could. Anything that could even start to right this impossible wrong.
“C’mon, man. I’ve got you. Rest.”
The man relaxed into his hold, letting his head rest against Tyler’s chest. He shifted a little, getting comfortable. Tyler shuffled around, so that Josh could lie against him a little more easily. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but he couldn’t care less right now. If this was all he could do, then so be it. He’d hold on to Josh forever.
It didn’t take long for his best friend to relax against him, breathing slowing down and turning even. He supposed that Josh was completely exhausted from the traumatic experience, and from his breakdown.
As Josh fell asleep, Tyler whispered a quiet prayer.
“Dear Lord, please hear me now. I don’t understand what’s happening. I don’t know…is this a test? Please…please just protect us. I know I’ve sinned, but…is this…do I deserve this? Even if I do…please protect Josh. He’s never sinned in his life, he-he’s perfect, he’s good, he’s true. Protect Josh, I don’t care what happens to me, just as long as he’s okay.”
His whispers were getting too loud. He tried to tone it down a little.
“I know I’ve…asked you for a lot. But all of that…it’s nothing compared to this. Josh…he’s too good for all of this. He saved my life, he cares about people, why has this horrible thing happened to him?”
Tyler realised he was doubting. His heart fluttered in his chest.
“I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry. But I’ll do anything, Lord. Please just make things easier for Josh. I’d do anything you ask of me. Amen.”
He wasn’t able to sleep for a while, and not just because of the awkward position he was trapped in. Tyler had always struggled with insomnia, and there was a lot on his mind.
It was a good thing he was still awake. Josh was no longer sleeping soundly, soft snores turning to gasping breaths. Please, no more. Stop torturing him, Tyler couldn’t help but think. The boy curled up against him was shaking now, and mumbling something. Each slight movement sent anxiety through Tyler’s chest. He didn’t know what to do, or how to help. If he even could help. He cursed himself for not being better at looking after people.
Josh whined softly, almost a weak cry. Then he jerked backwards, pulling away violently. He had his eyes wide open, like a prey animal. His movements were twitchy and uncoordinated, as he moved as far from Tyler as he could. He was clearly terrified.
“Josh?” Tyler called out softly, watching his best friend press his back to the opposite wall of the van. “You okay, bud?”
“Yeah,” he choked, shaking his head. “I’m fine. Go to sleep.”
“Hey, c’mon, man, let me help. You’re not fine."
Tyler knew he was pushing the boundary a little, but he was scared. Scared that maybe this truly wasn’t something he could help with. All he knew was that he had to try, because giving up wasn’t an option. Not with Josh. So he’d do whatever it took.
“I…I don’t wanna talk about it,” Josh mumbled. “Seriously. Don’t…”
“Alright. Do you wanna come back over here?” Tyler tried again, keeping his voice soft.
“No,” Josh said shakily, curling up around his knees. “Sorry. I just…need space.”
He probably did, Tyler thought to himself. The man was shaking, and he kept looking around like he was waiting for something to appear. Maybe he was. Tyler understood needing a little space sometimes. Unfortunately, that did make it hard for him to help, since his only real strategy right now was to hug his best friend.
“That’s okay, man. Just…when you can, try to lie back down. You need rest.”
“I know,” he muttered.
“Okay. I’m gonna lie down too,” Tyler narrated clearly, resting on one side of the van.
He’d hoped Josh would join him, but the man seemed far too tense. He still had his eyes wide open, darting around the van as if something might jump out of the shadows. Honestly, he was probably valid in that worry. But still. Tyler hated how useless he was right now.
“Josh? Lie down, man. I’ll keep a lookout until you sleep, okay?” He hoped his voice sounded enticing and trustworthy. That was what he needed, for Josh to trust him.
“Promise?” Josh mumbled, voice impossibly soft. God, it hurt.
“I promise. Not gonna let anything happen to you, man,” Tyler promised immediately. Even though he knew it was a promise he had no power over keeping…it felt like the promise of trying was enough.
Josh nodded in the dim light, and slowly lay down opposite him. Tyler, for the first time that night, was struck with an idea. Something that might actually help.
“I think you would beat the moon in a pretty contest.”
His best friend visibly relaxed and sighed quietly. Little by little, he seemed to relax fully, letting his eyes drift closed. Tear tracks on his cheeks reflected the moonlight, giving him an otherworldly appearance. Tyler kept his voice low, murmuring lyrics he knew Josh loved.
“And the moon just happened to be the very first thing that I’d miss.”
Tyler decided that right now, Josh was much more like the moon. Usually, he was the sun, warm and bright, and hopeful. Right now, he was more like the moon. Beautiful, but dark. Giving off no light of his own. That was alright. Tyler was happy to play the role of the sun for a little while, until Josh was himself again.
He wouldn’t let anything happen to Josh until then.