Chapter Text
"Hey Dickface!"
Dick looked up from his laptop, shutting it and giving his little brother his full attention after confirming it was Jason. The couch groaned underneath him as he set the laptop on the side table and sank into it deeper.
"Yeah Jay?" he asked.
Jason crossed his arms, glaring as he drawled, "What's your middle name?"
The question caught the other people in the room's attention, and Bruce, Tim, and Damian all turned to look at the eldest.
Dick shrugged, pulling his legs up to sit crisscross on the cushion, "I don't have one."
Jason's face wrinkled in confusion and Tim tilted his head, Bruce going very still.
"Fuck you mean you don't have one??" Jason questioned, plopping into an armchair as he realized this would probably be a much longer conversation than he thought.
"I just don't," Dick shrugged again, "My parents never put one on the Visa since the village they're from didn't use middle names."
"What?!" Tim shrieked, "How can you not have a middle name? I thought everyone did!"
Damian tutted from his cushion on the floor, going back to his drawing, "I also do not have a middle name. The league saw no point in such things."
Tim made a noise of pure bafflement, "How did we not know this???"
"Better question, Bruce, how have you never said anything?!" Jason exclaimed, whirling on Bruce.
The billionaire cleared his throat, not meeting any of his children's eyes, "I was… also unaware neither of them had one."
Bruce glanced up from where he was keeping his eyes focused on the book in front of him and looked back down when he saw all his kids staring at him in astonishment, his oldest and youngest in slight betrayal.
"Oh, ok," Jason scoffed, turning back to his older brother, "ignoring that disappointment, next you're gonna tell us your real name isn't even Richard!"
…
"No."
The second Robin stood in a hurry, pacing around the room and heading for the door, "Nope, nope, nope, not true. You're lying!" he whirled around, "You cannot be serious!"
Dick sank deeper into the couch, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "I mean, not technically…"
Tim squawked, "What- why didn't you say anything?!"
"I didn't think it was a big deal!"
"NOT A BIG DEAL???"
"WHAT IS IT THEN???"
"I—" Dick groaned, running a hand down his face, "Okay, so technically my actual name is Grys'n-Riktar, but the American government system couldn't put that on legal paperwork when my parents were getting the Visas and their systems were weird, plus Americans couldn't pronounce or read it right, so it got Americanized to Richard Grayson when we came here."
Everyone just gaped at Dick, no one able to find words.
A noise caught their attention, and they turned to stare at their father who was stiff in his armchair, gawking at his eldest. He looked like he was about to have a stroke.
"Did you not know this?" Dick said, bemused.
"I- no. I didn't." Bruce replied, his voice pitched a few octaves higher than normal.
"So Richard just, isn't your name. It's not even based on your first name." Tim stated wide eyes.
"Well, no… but- like- yes." Dick stuttered, waving his hands as he spoke, "No, it isn't my real first name, but yes, it is based on my real first name."
"But Riktar is your second name." Damian said, confusion filtering through his tone.
"They have different formatting where my parents are from." Dick explained, "They put the clan name — the family name — first, then a hyphen separating it from the formal name — which is the first name."
"Oh." the youngest mumbled.
Silence permeated the room for a few minutes, everyone trying to process the new information.
"Wait," Tim started slowly, "you said your real name is still your original name, but wouldn't the name you put on your green card become your legal name even with the system error? At least in America?"
Dick furrowed his brow, "What's a green- oh right. Um…" he shifted awkwardly, shrinking in on himself.
"Dick," Jason stuttered, "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
"I- uh…"
"Shit." Tim squeaked, eyes widening comically, "You didn't- Bruce never adopted you! You came here with- so they never- and- shit!"
Jason and Bruce gasped as they realized what he was implying and Bruce went white.
Damian looked around confused, "What?"
"YOU'RE ILLEGAL?!?!" Jason practically screamed.
"Why didn't you say anything?!" The oldest Wayne shrieked, already cracked composure gone.
The room dissolved into one-sided screaming matches, everyone yelling over each other freaking out.
"I'M NOT!" Dick finally yelled over the chaos, instantly silencing the room.
Nobody said anything so Jason finally spoke up, "If Bruce never adopted you, and he never had to sign anything about it, then how did you gain citizenship?"
Dick took a deep breath, having known this would come up eventually but not expecting it just yet.
He steeled himself before he ground out, "I got someone else to adopt me while Bruce and I weren't on speaking terms after ICE went after me a few times once I left Gotham."
"...Who?"
…
Dang. He'd been hoping nobody thought to actually ask that.
…
"Slade Wilson."
…
…
"YOU GOT ADOPTED BY DEATHSTROKE THE TERMINATOR?!?!"
The door swung open and Stephanie Brown strolled into the room, halting when the tense atmosphere practically smacked her in the face and glancing around the room, "What'd I miss?"