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Venti was having a pretty good week.
He finally paid off his current tab at Angel’s Share, he didn’t commit blasphemy against himself for three days and counting, helped a cat off a roof despite his stupid allergies, and even played with the kiddos at the plaza. He loved hearing the children laugh and be joyous.
It certainly wasn’t to distract himself from the fact that his husband is dead.
(Morax is dead. Morax, whom Venti hadn’t seen in person since the aftermath of the Cataclsym, has died last week and Venti was so caught up with his own nation’s problems that he never got the chance to tell him he loved him one last time—)
Venti was very good at compartmentalizing, at putting his emotions and memories into neat little boxes to never look at again.
He was so good at it that he refused to even think about things related to him, and refused to step foot in Liyue since the news. Venti strummed his lyre idly, staring at the great oak tree where a certain falcon looked upon him pityingly.
(Morax is dead. Barbatos has yet to mourn.)
(Venti was the world’s shittiest husband.)
“Tone-Deaf Bard, we’re back!”
Venti blinked, dazed. Then he smile and gave them a mild wave. “Aether, Paimon, welcome back to Mondstadt! How has Liyue treated you?”
The Traveler was a little sweaty from their journey. “Well, we almost got arrested again…”
Paimon stomped her foot. “It was all that stupid Childe’s fault for dragging us into it!”
“C-child…?” Venti gaped. “Paimon, that’s not very nice.”
Aether muffled a laugh, and Paimon sputtered. “What?! No, no, I meant with an ‘e’, with an ‘e!’”
And so Venti was roped into Hijinks and Shenanigans™ yet again. See, Jeanie, it wasn’t his fault that people want him to grace their presence(s)!
Venti hummed and nodded along at appropriate times, just like he’d learned from dear Gunnhildr’s “Understanding How To Human” lessons. He knew all the social rules by heart~
He then proceed to ignore those same social rules when the Traveler said something about, “Zhongli…” and “faking his death…” and “gave his gnosis…” and “to Signora…”
Venti just froze, disbelieving, and his ears were ringing.
Morax faked his death. His mind ran miles a minute.
fake
noun
/feɪk/
an object that is made to look real or valuable in order to deceive people
Lord Barbatos once forged fake documents to help accelerate the rebellion.
The Traveler revealed to a grieving Barbatos that Morax faked his death.
“Morax faked his death?”
Aether paused, noticing the look on Venti’s face. If the god could see himself right now, he’d think he looked positively manic, eyes wide and bright, pale as a ghost.
“Uh… yeah. He created a fake body and everything, the– uh, exuvia, wait, you seriously didn’t know?”
Morax faked his death.
Ironically, Venti couldn’t breath. The wind picked up around them as their god became increasingly agitated and distressed. Paimon looked frightened and flew behind the Traveler.
“Aaack! What’s gotten into you, Tone-Deaf Bard?!”
Aether reached out, “Venti—”
Venti burst into a pillar of Anemo energy and disappeared.
His husband was apparently alive.
So, yeah. All things considered, he was having a good week.
He was fine.
Somewhere in Liyue Harbor, Zhongli felt impending doom creep upon him.
Everywhere in Liyue, those who were using wind gliders dropped like flies…
..and was promptly given a soft, pillowed landing courtesy of stressed out, tinkling little wind wisps.
Except for one.
“Yahoo—ooooOOOLY SHIT!”
A splash.
“Oh dear!” yelped Ganyu by the market. “Is that Director Hu?”
“Tao-Tao!”
Xiangling shuffled closer to the edge and raised her polearm. The boyfriends and Xinyan practically ran to the docks.
The young woman resurfaced and spat out a mouthful of water. Xingqiu covered his mouth and giggled.
“You know you could have just asked for a glass of water, right?”
Chongyun pinched him. Hu Tao sputtered.
“Pah! Eugh, shut up!”
“Grab on! Wait, wait, wait, wrong end, sorry!”
“Are you trying to poke my eye out?” Hu Tao demanded to the young chef as she swam to shore.
“Maybe I can freeze the water...?” Chongyun mused as he summoned his claymore and slamming it to the water. “Hiyah!”
“Nooooo! I’ll get cold— ack! Chongyun!”
Ningguang had a headache.
This was the thirteenth letter delivered to the Qixing’s temporary office in Yujing Terace after that strange phenomena where the wind gliders just ceased to function. Nobody, from scholars to mages, can explain it so far. Many reports mentioned people falling from the sky, especially in Jueyun Karst where the gliders are especially a useful tool for the pilgrimage. The Adventurers’ Guild was already complaining.
No casualities yet, thankfully.
This letter was from one Mao Xiangling and was very formal. It was almost charming.
…Director Hu Tao of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor has suffered an accident after her wind glider malfunctioned at around eleven this morning, causing a near-death experience as she struggled to resurface by the docks near the dockside wet market…
Oh, for the love of… Ningguang tossed the paper onto the growing pile.
Even Yelan had no intel, and that woman can get into anybody’s business.
But if her own suspicions (on both topics) were correct, then the blame lies entirely on Mr. Zhongli.
She hadn’t even eaten yet.
Meanwhile, Keqing was brimming with irritation as she stormed in, holding another batch of letters and some documents, Baiwen and Baixiao trailing after her. “This is preposterous! Knowing the Fatui, it was probably them. How dare they strike when we’re already down?”
Ningguang massaged her temples. “I doubt the Fatui are behind this, Keqing. Lord Tartaglia may be a battle-crazy maniac, but he has honor, funnily enough. La Signora on the other hand…”
“I thought all current troops stationed here are under Lord Tartaglia?” The Yuheng questioned, hands on her hips. “I don’t think the cannon-fodder are that suicidal to go against a Harbinger’s orders.”
“Who knows at this point?” sighed the Tianquan. She snapped her fingers to call on one of her secretaries. “Baishi, please get me the good parchment and my yìnzhāng. I need to draft a letter to the Knights of Favonius. ”
“Yes, Lady Ningguang.”
“Knights of Favonius?” Keqing frowned. “Why?”
Ningguang gave a small, bland look. “I need to know if it is happening in other nations too, and Mondstadt just so happens to be Liyue’s long-time ally and close neighbor.”
Well, that wasn’t technically a lie.
Keqing looked uncertain, but nodded and left her to it.
In Mondstadt, Jean Gunnhildr was having a similar headache. She had just received a letter from the Tianquan of the Liyue Qixing, courtesy of a youthful-looking adeptus that mumbled something about reminding his lord to apologize to Lord Barbatos…?
“His lord”? “Lord” as in Rex Lapis, Morax, Geo Archon, God of Contracts, and countless other titles that her younger self had to memorize? Maybe she shouldn’t have snuck out from her tutors and governess to fool around with Diluc, Kaeya, and Thoma after all…
But, wait, wasn’t he supposed to be… dead? Okay. Okay, okay, okay, one step at a time.
She is the Acting Grand Master, and Varka put his faith and trust in her, and so she refuses to prove him wrong. Besides, Gunnhildrs aren’t quitters.
Whatever this was, she can fix it. Hopefully.
The letter from Lady Ningguang detailed incidents of wind gliders malfunctioning around the same time. She was wondering if the current batch of gliders (produced exclusively in Mondstadt) were perhaps defective.
Which doesn’t make sense. They can’t be physically defective because wind gliders do not follow the laws of physics in the first place, but rather rely on the blessing of the Anemo… Archon… to take flight. Wait a minute.
Oh, Venti…
Jean set the letter down and rubbed her temple, finding the situation tragic yet ridiculous.
She will be frank, it was somewhat of an open secret within Mondstadt’s upper class and its leaders that there’s something between Lord Barbatos and Rex Lapis that led to a millennia-long alliance and an unspoken pact to protect each other’s borders.
Something, meaning a marriage, at least that’s what Jean thought. Her mother and Barbara didn’t believe it, thinking it was just a simple alliance and that the surviving records were heavily embellished by some drunken fool. Her father was more open to the idea, meanwhile.
Once again, Jean mourned the lost books and records that were destroyed by the Great Fire of Fall Equinox. It probably would’ve made managing her archon’s moods easier… no offense to Venti.
Diluc is out of the question. The man is blunt and straightforward and will most likely make Venti cry. Then all his wine barrels will explode and Mondstadt’s economy will fall apart.
And she is 99% sure that Venti is 100% trying to seduce Diluc to bed and she refuses to touch that with a ten foot pole. Whatever her archon does in his marital bed was none of her business.
If she uttered that aloud in past Mondstadt, the church would have her executed, but anyways—
Jean needed Aether. He and Venti seemed close, but she also has this feeling that Dahlia might know Venti’s identity, though unfortunately the young deacon has been preoccupied in Dornman Port for a few months now, and she doesn’t want Venti’s identity compromised any more than it already is if she is mistaken…
Oh, why is her life?
There was a knock on her office door, and the Honorary Knight poked his head in. “Uhh… heyyyy, Jean. There’s been an issue—”
…Well, a blessing is a blessing!
“Honorary Knight!” she rushed to greet them. “How have you been? Nevermind that, can you check on Venti, please? We’re unfortunately a little… short-staffed right now, and I need someone close to him. I will recompensate you with those iridescent gems you like so much, I promise.”
Aether’s eyes lit up, greedy. “Primogems!?” He then coughed, embarrassed. “I mean, uh, sure, if you insist… then, yeah. I’m worried about him too, he left in such a hurry after I told him about my adventures in Liyue and almost blew Paimon away!”
Oh dear, the situation is worse than she thought. “Is Paimon alright?”
“Oh, she’s fine. I left her with Sara, she’ll be in a good mood after a few servings of Fisherman’s Toast!”
On the edge of Starsnatch Cliff, Venti was sobbing.
His siblings were tinkling loudly around him, which irritated the baby of the Thousand Winds further. It was so rude to be full of joy when Venti’s obviously swimming in a river called misery.
“Stop being whimsical!” wailed their youngest. “Can’t you see I’m in pain?”
One of his siblings nudged him apologetically. Another made a mess of his hair and promptly fell asleep on his hat — ah, that must be Snooze.
“And you didn’t think to tell me?!”
More indignant chiming.
We thought he told you!
Excuse you, I was busy helping with that sandstorm in Sumeru!
Pffft, what happened to your freedom spiel?
He hiccuped, offended and certainly not in the mood for jokes. “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”
Wary tinkling.
Squall was just teasing, little brother.
Eeek! I’m sorry, I’m sorry—
Ahahahaha! He got that coming.
Angrily, he grabbed a rock and tossed it into the ocean. His siblings went silent. Great, now Venti felt like shit even more. A fresh batch of tears burned at his eyes.
“‘M sorry, I shouldn’t have raised my voice…” Venti rubbed his face and sniffled. “Do you think he wants a divorce? Did he find someone more younger and fuckable than me? Was I really that awful of a partner that he’d rather fake his death than ask for a break? Was this because I told him I wasn’t ready for kids yet? He said it was fine!”
The God of Freedom started sobbing again, and his siblings would’ve been more sympathetic had his next words not been so crass,
“Did I not satisfy him enough? I give great head!”
Mortified, high-pitched tittering ensues.
We don’t need to know about your sex life!
Speak for yourself, tell me more~
Eww! You’re such a pervert, Sirocco!
“Mama was right, never trust dragons!”
Admonishing bell chimes violated his eardrums.
Oh! That’s not—!
Can we please calm the fuck down.
That’s quite the unfair assessment, Venti.
That was Wendy. Wendy had always been the level-headed one. Venti was only little mollified.
“You’re right, you’re right. That’s a bad thing to say. Not all dragons, true.” Despite that, Venti brought his knees up to his chest and kept weeping, lonely and hurt and his 999 siblings were not helping. “But I’m angry and I wanna talk shit.”
They crowded at him with protests and well-meaning admonishments, so he swatted at them. “Go away, you’re all useless.”
They scattered.
A minute later, Venti started wailing again. “Oh, Dvalin! I didn’t mean to insult you, my precious baby boy!”
Somewhere in the ruins of Old Mondstadt, the Anemo Sovereign sneezed.
Zhongli was in deep shit.
First, his in-laws are trying to kill him. Second, his dear Ajax was sulking and refused to speak or even interact with him. Third, his idiot self forgot to tell his own husband that he was faking his death so he can leave the ruling to humans, and finally enjoy the rest of his life before erosion inevitably destroys his mind.
That was his only excuse and reason. Zhongli forgot.
A handful of anemoi surrounded him, detailing how much Zhongli needed to grovel.
Zhongli did not like how gleeful they sounded.
Cielo claimed that Venti was in hysterics. Mistral said that Venti had revoked his blessing to every single wind glider in Liyue, which was obvious, but Zhongli knew when to keep his mouth shut especially regarding his in-laws. Even shy little Flutter who usually fawns over him had been especially irate, and Willawaw was chittering about Venti thinking Zhongli wanted a divorce.
No! Of course not — Venti was the love of his life, their marriage officiated by Monomakh himself — all he wanted was to retire.
Zhongli resisted the urge to travel to the Thousand Winds temple and beg his mother-in-law for forgiveness. He still gets uneasy hearing ticking noises but he will not debase himself in front of her.
Not even Xiao could save him now.
Zhongli pinched the bridge of his nose as Ganyu frantically and discreetly called upon him for an emergency meeting with his definitely amused subordinates.
He then proceeded to trip on them as he approached the half-qilin secretary. The Thousand Winds giggled.
Fuuuuck.
“Venti?” Aether approached cautiously.
The wind in Starsnatch Cliff was more intense than usual, but despite that, the cecilias Venti oh so dearly loved stayed stubbornly rooted.
The god muffled a sob. “Leave me alone, I’m trying to be miserable.”
“Too bad.” Aether approached and sat beside him, legs swinging off the edge “I’m hard to get rid of.”
Venti hiccuped and leaned on his shoulder. Aether rubbed his back, feeling him tremble.
Eventually, his sobs turned into sniffles and wind turned still. In Stormbearer Point, Vind was probably breathing a sigh of relief.
“I’m assuming there’s more than friendship between you and Zhongli?” Aether asked gently. Venti hic’ed and nodded.
“H-he’s my husband.”
And Aether’s brain blue-screened for a moment. Oh, yeahhh, that happens in other worlds too. It shouldn’t surprise him that it was similar here.
The Traveler quickly searched for sympathetic words. He guessed, “And he didn’t tell you about his plan at all.”
Venti shook his head mournfully. Oh, Zhongli, you idiot.
“Did you cause the… the incidents in Liyue?” Aether was familiar with Leonard’s story, with how he failed to scale Pilos Peak (now Musk Reef), and how he created the first glider to help the next generation of adventurers, and how the gliders needed Venti’s blessing to work properly. To think Venti — benevolent, compassionate, sweet Venti — just… took it away, it’s unsettling.
The god gave a miserable little nod. “Is anybody hurt?”
Aether treaded carefully. “No, but his boss fell into the harbor.”
Venti sniffled. Then he started crying again.
“I’m sorry!” wept the Anemo Archon, into his palms. The winds picked up again. “I didn’t mean to hurt anyone, I was just so angry and hurt and Morax is so fucking stupid and- hic- ‘Mso pathetic, maybe that’s why he faked his death to get away from me instead of asking for a divorce—”
“Hey, hey, wait, Venti? Venti. Calm down.” Aether grabbed Venti’s face so they’re eye-to-eye and resisted the urge to squish those chubby cheeks. “Look at me. Look at me. Zhongli did not fake his death to get away from you. He just retired. He gave his gnosis away so he can retire.”
Venti’s bottom lip trembled, and his voice broke. “Then why didn’t he tell me?”
Aether was silent for a moment, before deciding that to be blunt and honest was the best way to handle this fuckery.
“Because he’s an idiot. And he probably has dementia with how often he keeps forgetting things. When I was in the city, I had to pay for everything because he kept forgetting his own wallet.”
Venti managed to crack a smile and a giggle. “Heh, I used to always pay whenever we go out too, with my own hard-earned coin from busking no less. Can you believe that? Morax with no mora, he’s so ridiculous.”
The Traveler smiled softly, his thumb rubbing over the apples of Venti’s cheeks. The archon leaned into the touch with another soft hic.
“So… can you… give the blessing back?”
The smile turned into a pout. “No!”
“Venti—”
“Nuh uh!” Venti twisted out of his grip to cross his arms and turn away from him pettily.
“People kinda need that, Venti.”
Venti kicked his feet in rapid succession, fuming. “I don’t wannaaaa… I want my husband to apologize first!”
“Then…” sighed Aether as he stood up and offered a hand, “come to Liyue with me. You can yell at him there.”
Venti eyed him warily, then took it. “Fine.”
Zhongli was sitting in the Taishan Mansion that had recently been unsealed by the ever-nosy Traveler, and is currently enduring the many unimpressed stares of the adepti and mortal lover.
His dear Ajax had finally agreed for a meeting. For Zhongli to apologize. And to talk. And discuss their relationship. Or break-up. Not the first time Zhongli has been broken up with a mortal lover, and certainly not the last.
Cloud Retainer snatched a kernel of popcorn with her beak. “This is the most entertainment one’s had in years.”
Ganyu gasped, Ping admonished her, while Xiao was glowering at the harbinger. Ajax was sulking, avoiding everyone’s stares.
“May I speak freely, Dijun?” Mountain Shaper raised a wing.
Zhongli felt tired. “It’s just Zhongli now, and yes, you may, Mountain Shaper.”
“I think you messed up by not informing Lord Barbatos of your… plans to retire. And staging your own demise. And faking an elemental surge powerful enough to fool your fellow archons.”
“You don’t say?” Xiao grumbled, and hello, who has been teaching him sarcasm?
Moon Carver grunted. “One is lucky that Lord Barbatos has not stormed into Liyue yet—”
“Morax!”
Well, shit. Talk of an angel and you will hear his wings, indeed.
Zhongli dropped a sweat and quickly stood to face his very hurt, very furious husband with a mortified Aether on his heels. Hmm, maybe he can still appease him somehow?
“Bǎobèi—”
Suddenly, Zhongli has an armful of husband, and, oh, he is trembling. Venti sobbed into his chest, small fists hitting his sternum. “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! You made me think you were dead, you stupid overgrown lizard!”
It was a good thing the adepti and the Traveler had the decency to look away to give them some semblance of privacy, or else Zhongli’s deeper insticts would’ve made him claw their eyes out for seeing his mate husband in such a state.
The former Geo Archon gently cradled his husband’s head. Venti looked at him with wide and wet and tearful eyes and Zhongli’s heart shattered into pieces.
Celestia above, he is a horrible husband.
He lowered his head, contrite. His relationship was more important than silly things like pride or dignity.
“I… am sorry, Venti.” Zhongli took his beloved’s hands — these same hands that shaped Mondstadt, wield powerful bows, and had learned to play the ruan for him. “I have acted without concern for your grief, and there is no contract, and no convenient loophole that can absolve me of it. In my focus upon Liyue’s future, I forgot that I had a present. I let you mourn me. I let you sing my elegy. I let you carry a loss I had no business inflicting, and I did not even have the decency to warn you first.”
He pressed a gentle kiss to his husband’s forehead. “I swear it will not happen again, and if it does, you have my permission to throw me off Qingyun Peak.”
Venti chortled, despite himself, and wiped his face with his shirtsleeves. “You’re ridiculous. I don’t need your moping. I just… I just need you alive. With me.”
“I do not plan on leaving you anytime soon, my love,” reassured Zhongli soothingly, pulling Venti closer and nuzzling the scent of apples in his hair. “I will work on my memory issues by playing Sudoku, I promise.”
Venti held on, afraid yet relieved yet thankful at the same time. “Idiot dragon…”
Everyone else was relieved. No war caused by a messy divorce, yay! They’d hate to ruin Mondstadt’s quaint, pastoral aesthetic like that.
“Fastest meeting one has ever been on,” someone muttered, impressed. Zhongli ignored them.
The adepti slowly dispered from the former archon’s mansion, back to their own domains and posts. Meanwhile, Aether wandered about nearby, pilfering a few unimportant artifacts from his collections.
Though one person was left behind, and coughed sharply.
“Where’s my apology, huh? Is this what I am, chopped liver?” Ajax crossed his arms and nodded towards an annoyed-looking Venti. “And who’s the twink?”
Venti ignored the jab and narrowed his eyes, his hold on Zhongli tightening. “So you’re the boytoy my husband’s been hitting on the side.”
“Wha— husband?” Ajax went from an angry red to a horrified white. “You’re married?”
Aether feigned a gasp and hit Zhongli over the head. “Zhongli, how could you?”
The Traveler fled the room, giggling. Venti scowled further, hackles rising at the sight of another harbinger meddling with his life. “What do you think ‘bǎobèi’ means you overgrown carrot—?!”
“Oh, so it’s my fault that Zhongli conveniently forgot to tell me that I’m apparently his mistress?” Ajax shot back, stepping forward. “Also, aren’t you Barbatos? Signora told me you were so annoying that she knee’d you in the gut!”
“Why you little—”
Zhongli’s two lovers proceeded to argue like cats, trading barbs and biting remarks. Oh dear. He quickly pulled his husband away from his lover by the scruff of his capelet and stood between them like a particularly handsome brick wall.
“Ajax,” Zhongli tried, cupping his cheek, “I did tell you, remember? On our first date at Wanmin Restaurant, I told you I had a partner.”
“I met you as a consultant, so I thought you meant business partner,” stressed Ajax, and briefly bit Zhongli’s finger. “Not… nevermind. I guess that one’s on me.”
There was silence, and for a brief moment, Zhongli feared his husband’s familial pettiness won over and he’d try to remove all the oxygen from his lover’s lungs. Instead, he got;
“Now that,” Venti crooned, appraising Ajax with an appreciative once-over, “is a lovely shade of embarrassed. You know, in Mondstadt, we have a saying — ‘the best wine is the one you haven’t tasted yet.’” He tapped a finger against his own lips, thoughtful. “I’m very thirsty, these days.”
Ajax went pink.
The tone changed so fast that Zhongli got a whiplash. “Now wait a minute, tàitài, what do you think you’re doing?”
“We’re in an open relationship.” protested Venti. “Besides, we’ve shared a few lovers before~”
“Well— uh,” began Zhongli, sputtering, “that one’s mine.”
“You’re possessive for a guy who forgot to mention he’s married.” And with that, Ajax ignored the older god’s blundering, He circled, and was eyeing Zhongli’s own husband like a plate of borscht he wanted to devour. “Hmm… I guess you are pretty.”
“Oh, you flatter me.” His husband looked very, very pleased. “And here I thought you were just Nastya’s little attack dog.”
The young man’s eye twitched. “Please do not disrespect Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa, in front of me.”
Venti immediately got the ick. “…Nevermind. You can keep him, hubby — I have my own redhead to seduce.”
“Another Ragnvindr, really Venti?” Zhongli asked, weary.
“Don’t start.” His husband wagged his finger, pouting. “You lost all nagging privileges when you let me grieve you. Alone. For days. Thinking I was the last of the Original Seven, that I’d have to carry that title and that loneliness until Celestia finally put me out of my misery—”
Zhongli winced. “Venti.”
Venti grabbed his tie, pulling him down for a kiss on his cheek, a subtle way to forgive him. “Tell Aether I’m going back to Mondstadt. And that I’m returning my windy blessing for the gliders. As for you, groveling hours are between noon and never. Ta~”
Zhongli sighed, fond, as Venti vanished in a flutter of wings.
Silence.
Ajax shifted from either foot, antsy. “Should I be offended? I feel like I should be offended. Can I ask him to spar?”
“Give it some time before you ask,” Zhongli suggested. “Fortunately for the both of us, my beloved doesn’t hold grudges for long. Just… please don’t bring up the Tsaritsa umprompted.”
“He started i–… nevermind.”
A longer silence. A pregnant silence, some may say. It was broken by Aether’s rummaging breaking a vase a few rooms over. They both jumped.
“…I should go after him,” finally said Zhongli.
Ajax was already considering breaking up with him. “You think?”