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Right after the list of people who will join Senku on the Perseus is announced, Francois steps up, clears her throat, and pulls out a list.
Gen raises an eyebrow. “Senku, what are they doing?”
Senku shrugs. “I dunno. We’ll have to wait and see.”
Gen glances over to Ryuusui to see if he has any reaction indicating he knows what will happen next, but he seems just as confused as him.
Francois waits until the murmurs die down, then speaks up.
“I’ve been informed that I, among other members of the Kingdom of Science, will go on this journey aboard the Perseus. With this knowledge, I have composed a list of rules to aid our behavior along the way. I shall read them out loud.”
“1.
For everyone’s safety, do not enter Senku’s lab when he’s working. There will be experiments with gunpowder, and we don’t want to raise the chance of explosions by distracting him.
2.
Similarly, do not touch ANYTHING in the lab without Senku’s explicit permission. There are poisons, toxic gas and other dangerous materials stored there.
3.
Do not enter the kitchen if you have no business being there.
4.
Ginro, if I catch you slacking off from duty and stealing food from the freezer again, you will have to clean the fishing nets for another week.
5.
Ryuusui is not allowed to drink when he’s at the helm of the boat, no matter how much experience he has.
6.
Senku, please experiment with creations at places with the minimum amount of damage at the chance it does go wrong. On top of the greenhouse is not “convenient”.
7.
Kinro, do not battle Taiju to see who’s stronger. You will not win anyways.
8.
Ryuusui, as noble as desire may be, we will not build a zipline to travel from and to the crow nest. Senku said so.
9.
Do not prank call. We need the phone other important things. We do not want a repeat of the “WHY-MAN FLIRTS IN SPANISH” incident.
10.
No one is permitted to challenge Ryuusui to a contest involving food.
11.
No one is allowed to bet on if Senku’s next creation will fail or not. It probably wil not fail, so betting is pointless.
12.
Ukyo, I am well aware that sleeping with the other crew members will be difficult considering your sensitive hearing, however it is not possible nor permitted to force Taiju to sleep on a lifeboat anchored to the Perseus.
13.
If Ukyo is sleeping, do not wake him up. Just because he’s against brutal violence doesn’t mean he won’t push you into the sea.
14.
Do not taunt Hyoga when you’re bored. I can think of several reasons why this is a spectacularly bad idea.
15.
Senku is not allowed to modify my recipes for optimal consumption and/or nutritions. Especially if it contains caffeine.
16.
Do not hide Kinro’s glasses for fun. There will be risk of a pierced eye and a bloody spear.
17.
Do not challenge Kohaku to a sparring match. Especially when drunk.
18.
Ryuusui. Do not threaten Gen into persuading Senku to build a music box. It won’t work anyways.
19.
Suika’s helmet is not a food container.
20.
Suika’s helmet is not to be worn by anyone else but suika. She might hit a wall, fall off the stairs, or worse, fall off the ship.
21.
If anyone notices that Senku is awake for longer than 36 hours, please inform Gen so he can put him to bed.
22.
Do not trick Chrome into believing that Dinosaurs used to live among humans. He has no idea to tell if you are lying or not.
23.
Similarly, do not fool Chrome by saying the the last airbenders used to exist.
24.
Or ghosts.
25.
Or the afterlife.
26.
Or demons.
27.
Look, just don’t lie to him.
28.
Or Kohaku, for that matter. Do not lie to her. If she ever finds out, you will have hell to pay.
39.
No matter how many times people ask, we will not make monopoly.
40.
I don’t how you do it, but don’t persuade Yuzuriha into making Monopoly.
41.
From now on, monopoly is banned.
42.
Don’t try to find out if Senku uses gel or any other products for his hair. His hair grows naturally that way, and he doesn’t sanitize himself enough as it is, don’t steal his soap!
43.
Truth or dare is also banned.
44.
Do not use the leftover Monopoly money. We already have the “dragos” currency.
45.
If Gen has an idea, get out of hearing range as soon as possible.
46.
If Senku has an idea, evacuate the ship immediately.
47.
Do not compliment Yo or Ginro under any circumstances, wether they deserve it or not. You will be responsible for dealing with their cockiness afterwards.
48.
Senku is not allowed to do “experiments” in the kitchen.
49.
Yuzuriha, no matter how many times Gen says it will be funny, do not make Senku a t-shirt with “Senku says yes to child labor” embroidered on front.
50.
Do not give Suika a knife.
51.
People who are allowed to have lighters: Senku, me, Ukyo (flaming arrows) and kaseki.
52.
People who are NOT allowed to have lighters: Ginro, Ryuusui, Yo, Gen (especially not for magic tricks), chrome, Taiju and suika.
53.
If you have an injury, please inform either me or Senku. Do not try to fix it yourself.
54.
If Kohaku or Ukyo is accusing you of something, they’re probably right and must confess immediately.
55.
Do not sneak up on Kohaku, Ukyo or Gen.
56.
Do not ask if Chrome has had sexual education yet.
57.
Do not give Suika sexual education.
58.
Do not teach suika how to swear.
59.
Do not give Kohaku a T-shirt with the words “lioness to be feared”. In this case, rule #51 will be briefly updated to include Kohaku.
60.
Similarly, do not give Gen a shirt saying “be gay, do crime.”
61.
Leave the goats alone, for God’s sake.
62.
No matter how nice the offer sounds, do not under any circumstances drink Senku’s “love potion.”
63.
Do not modify Senku’s blueprints. The consequences may be deadly.
65.
If Gen and Senku are scheming together, be prepared for endless labor.
66.
If Gen and Senku are scheming together, do not try to stop them, you have no chance in doing so.
67.
Do not persuade Gen by bribing him with cola.
68.
Gen is from now on not allowed to impersonate anyone, especially Senku “explaining an idea”.
69.
Do not force Yuzuriha into making... inappropriate clothing and ask Kohaku to “”test”” it.
70.
Do not try to receive “a message from the aliens” with the radio antenna while drunk.
71.
I do not care where it came from, no one is allowed to paint Kohaku’s shield with pink glitter.
72.
Senku is not allowed to threaten people with “tying them to a rocket and launching them into space” when they annoy him.
73.
Kohaku is not allowed to threaten people with “slicing them open and eat for breakfast” (suika is still terrified)
74.
Don’t argue with me I’m always right
75.
Do not break any of these rules. This will be enforced the moment everyone is aware of this list, and punishment will be in form of bathroom cleaning duty or worse.”
Francois bows, then turns around and leaves. Before, there were the exclamations of offense, laughter and scared screams, the audience is now completely silent.
Chrome leans towards Senku. “Do you think she means it?”
Ryusui butts in before Senku can answer. “Only one way to find out!”
It was a long journey.