Chapter Text
Wile E. Coyote has been gone for 377 days. Road Runner knows this for a fact. He’s been keeping track of the days. With each sunrise, Road Runner hopes that Wile will be back. That he’ll come across one of his traps while running along the road. They’ll resume their normal game of chase like nothing had happened. Like Wile hadn’t disappeared for months.
Without Wile, the desert is far too quiet. Far too empty. There’s just swarths of land where Road Runner feels like Wile should be. Where he should be setting up a rocket or painting a mural of a tunnel. The Wile shaped holes on the ground serve as shadows for his missing parter.
Sometimes, when he’s running across the desert he swears that he can feel Wile right behind him. He’ll feel Wile’s hot breath on the back of his neck. Hear his footsteps as he gets closer and closer.
But when he turns around… there’s nothing but empty air.
The last time he saw Wile, he was with a couple of humans. At the time, it was exciting. A sign that Wile was planning something truly big. Road Runner couldn’t wait to see how it went. He watched from afar as Wile was in the desert investigating his past attempts to catch him. Probably formulating the grandest plan of all time.
And then… nothing.
He was gone after that. His cave was completely abandoned. All his favorite hiding spots were empty. The packages from ACME had stopped coming in. It was truly like he simply stopped existing.
Today, Road Runner is once again at Wile’s cave. He doesn’t expect Wile to be there. He hopes he is, but he doesn’t expect it. The cave is still the exact same as Wile left it. Road Runner hasn’t dared to touch anything. He feels like if he does than that’s an admission of defeat. That he’s not coming back.
Even with how bright the daylight is outside, the cave is dark. There aren’t many lights. Only a few incandescent bulbs strung from the ceiling. The light they emit is barely enough to see anything.
Road Runner looks at the mountains of failed schemes that fill the cave. Each broken object in the cave represents a fond memory for Road Runner. The wall is papered with various blueprints for schemes. The towering filing cabinets are filled with countless more. To him, the entire place feels like one big scrapbook of his relationship with Wile.
Maybe Wile didn’t see it this way. Perhaps each blueprint and failed contraption was a monument to his failures. Road Runner wonders if it had gotten too much for him. Though none of his past failures had seemed to demoralize him, maybe something changed. Something made him want to leave.
There’s a part of him that insists that he didn’t leave Road Runner behind. That he would have never left Road Runner behind. Something had to have happened. After all, only a couple of days after he last saw Wile there was a new trap. One that wasn’t set up by him. Humans with access to resources that Wile did not have. A whole military operation to catch him.
What if those humans also went after Wile? He should have been smart enough to get out of whatever their trap was, but he didn’t. Which would mean that his absence this entire time wasn’t his choice. If he would have been able to choose, he’d have decided to come back to Road Runner.
There’s the other side to it too. That the whole “humans trying to catch him” thing was unrelated. A coincidence that it occurred at the same time Wile left. Wile had chosen to leave Road Runner behind. No note. No goodbye. Nothing.
Road Runner hates both options. If Wile was taken, then he would need help. He could be hurt, trapped in some cage, somewhere. Or worse. It could be too late for Road Runner to get to him. But, if he did truly choose to leave without saying goodbye, then he has to face another terrible truth. That he meant nothing to Wile while Wile meant everything to him.
These swirling thoughts are too much for him. He turns on the TV for some distraction. Something he never used to do, but with Wile gone running around the desert has gotten quiet boring. The TV is the only technology of Wile’s that doesn’t seem prone to exploding. Being in the middle of the desert, there aren’t many channels. The tv is playing some sitcom.
Not that he really cares about what’s on. As long as there is something playing that drowns out the cave’s silence. Something that makes this cave feel less empty and abandoned. He only half follows the plot. All his thoughts keep drifting back to Wile and how much every fiber of his being misses him.
The channel goes to commercial break. There’s a commercial for ACME. It talks about all the great new products that ACME has come out with in the last few months. Hearing about ACME, all Road Runner can think about is Wile and how he always used their products in a chase. How these products always failed and Wile got hurt.
It switches to a new commercial. Some commercial about a law firm. The man in the advertisement looks familiar. Road Runner stares at his face. Trying to remember where he’s seen it.
Then he remembers.
That lawyer was one of humans that was with Wile just before he disappeared. If anyone knows where Wile is, it would be him. He could be the one that leads him back to his coyote.
He runs out of the cave. Onto the road. Straight to Alburquerque.
A large trail of dust billows behind him. His path could be seen for miles. He’s going faster than he has ever ran before. Then again he’s never had any reason to run this fast before.
Within a few moments, he’s reached the city limits. He stops, only for a second, to see the city in front of him. He’s never been this close to it before. Looking at the sprawling city, he wonders if Wile is somewhere within its limits. If he is, he’s going to find him.
He didn’t get an address for the law firm. There was one on the paper that they put on the ground, but he didn’t read it. So, he races up and down the streets until he reaches a building reading, “Avery, Jones, & Maltese”.
He enters the building. A blast of air conditioning ruffles his feathers as he enters. The place is a mess. There’s papers everywhere. Boxes filled with evidence or more papers. It’s a lot like Wile’s cave. Only there’s more people.
Part of him hopes that Wile is here. He doesn’t want to search for long. A gorilla at the front desk looks at him, “Do you have an appointment?” he asks.
Road Runner ignores him. He’s not the one that he’s looking for. Looking around for the lawyer on TV, he sees a woman sitting at a desk doing paperwork. There’s a frown on her face as she works on her computer. She has a name plate that reads Paige Avery.
It takes him a second to realize that she was there with Wile too. In fact, when he was watching them do whatever it was they were doing in the desert, it seemed like she was the leader of them.
He rushes over to her. Needing answers about Wile. Not really caring about where they come from. Paper goes flying about the room. He doesn’t care, but many around him do complain. “Meep Meep!” he says.
Paige jumps a bit. She looks up at him. Gasping when she sees his face. “You’re the Road Runner!”
Her recognizing him is a good sign. That means that Wile talked about him.
“Meep Meep!” Road Runner says in confirmation.
Her shocked expression shifts to confusion. She gets up from her chair. “Wait… What are you doing here? The trial was months ago.”
He’s not sure what she means by trial. Was Wile arrested? That doesn’t seem right. Wile never really broke any laws… well not laws that anyone would care about him breaking. He holds up a sign that reads “Where is Wile E. Coyote?”.
Looking at the sign, her brow furrows. “What do you mean where’s Wile?”
Road Runner shakes the sign. The question on the sign isn’t ambiguous. He wants to know where Wile is. That is his only concern here. He needs to know where Wile is and he needs to know it now.
The lawyer from the TV walks out of his office. “What’s with all the commotion out… here…” He trails off when he sees Road Runner. His eyes are locked on Road Runner for a moment in pure shock. He quickly walks over to where Road Runner is. “What’s he doing here?” he asks Paige in a whisper.
“He looking for Wile,” she says. Road Runner notes that she’s on a first name basis with Wile. That’s good. If she’s friends with him, then she has to know where he is.
Kevin looks between the two of them. “He hasn’t seen him?” he asks.
“No. He hasn’t.”
He glances around in a way that reminds Road Runner of the way lizards look around for predators. “We should talk about this in my office.” His voice is low. Again, it’s like he’s afraid that someone is going to overhear them.
Road Runner is in his office immediately. It takes an excruciatingly long few seconds for them to catch up to him. They race to the office and Kevin shuts the door behind him. “We need to close the blinds.”
Kevin reaches for one of the cords. Road Runner has closed all of the blinds before he gets the chance to pull it. “Okay… thank you for that.”
“Meep Meep!” Road Runner says, in a way that means you’re welcome. He pulls out the sign again. Asking them once again where Wile is. This amount of secrecy is making him anxious.
“I’m guessing it’s a limited number of signs for you too?” Kevin asks Road Runner.
“Meep Meep!” Road Runner says, in confirmation.
He takes in a deep breath. “Okay… I can work with this.” He pulls out his phone and opens up the calendar app. He changes the calendar to be day by day rather than month by month. “Make a beep when I get to when you last saw Wile.”
He scrolls and scrolls and scrolls day by day. Paige and Kevin share concerned glances the longer that he has to scroll. Eventually, he gets to August 18, 2022. “Meep!” That’s the date! That’s the last time he saw Wile!
“August 18th… that’s the day before the trial.” Paige’s voice is soft. She glances at Kevin, who looks just as worried as she does.
Road Runner cocks his head to the side. They keep mentioning a trial, but not explaining it. “Meep?”
“Wile was trying to sue ACME for all his product failures. Well... that’s what he said he wanted to do. Really the whole trial was just one big plan to try and capture you.” Kevin looks over at Road Runner. “Though I guess, you probably figured that out. Which is why you didn’t show up.”
Road Runner nods. Of course, he knew from the second that he saw the paper that it was part of some big scheme. He didn’t really read what was on the paper, though. He only looked at it long enough to punch “Beep Beep” into it.
At the time, he thought it was strange. He figured that Wile should know by now that he isn’t fond of traps that involve too much reading. That he prefers traps that are more action-orientated. Those ones are the most fun.
“You really haven’t seen Wile since last August?” Paige asks.
Road Runner nods. His normal smile has been replaced with frown. Everything about this is telling him that something has happened to Wile. The two of them keep glancing at each other like they know something, but refuse to tell him.
He holds up a new sign. One that he hoped that he wouldn’t have to use. “What happened to him?”
Truthfully, he doesn’t want to know the answer. There’s a pit in his stomach that tells him whatever happened couldn’t be good. He needs to know, though. He needs to know if Wile is okay.
“I…I don’t know.” Kevin rubs his hands on his face.
“Meep?” Road Runner asks. How could he not know? The last time Road Runner saw him he was with these two. They should know exactly what happened to him.
“The night before the congressional hearing… thinking about it, it was actually a year ago today, Wile and I had this big argument.” He holds his head down. Staring straight at the floor. Almost making a point not to look at Road Runner when he says this.
“He wanted to know why you weren’t coming to the hearing, and he wouldn’t stop asking and I was so stressed that I said something to him that I regret deeply.”
There’s a silence that hangs in air. Kevin leans against the table, as if steading himself. “And… after that he packed up his bag and left.”
It hurts knowing that Wile was waiting for him. That Wile wanted him to be there, so badly. He doesn’t understand why Wile thought he was going to be there. But now, he feels like he should have been. Maybe he wouldn’t be missing if he had been there.
“I tried to chase after him, but by the time I got out there he was gone. I spent the whole night looking for him, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.”
Road Runner sympathizes with him. He knows what it’s like to search for Wile. For the last year, he’d been searching all over the southwest desert. Hoping to find some clue that would bring his friend back to him. He hasn’t liked what he’s found, so far.
“Then I gave up.”
Road Runner gasps. Giving up is unthinkable to Road Runner. “Meep Meep!”, he says in chastise.
Kevin looks at Road Runner with sad eyes. It’s as if he understood what Road Runner was saying, or what Road Runner would be saying if he had the ability to speak. “I know… I know. But, I had to… even if Wile didn’t show up to hearing, I had to.”
That’s not really a good excuse. He could have continued looking for Wile after the hearing. Someone else could have looked for him. He didn’t have to stop.
Road Runner holds up a new sign. One he wrote for whenever he found Wile, but it has a better use now. “Why did you stop?”
Kevin sighs. He looks up. Refusing to look Road Runner in the eye. “I really thought he went back to his cave. There was no reason for me to think that anything had happened to him.”
Wile was heading back home, back to him, before he went missing. That takes a moment for Road Runner to process. Something had to have stopped him. The thought that there’s something out there capable of stopping Wile from reaching his goal is unfathomable. Nothing had been able to stop him before.
“You… you don’t think ACME got him do you?” Paige’s voice shakes. “I mean… that rabbit said that people who worked on Project Sisyphus disappeared. AMCE clearly tried stopping us.”
Kevin sighs. “I don’t know. But… it isn’t unlikely.”
There’s too many questions Road Runner needs to ask. What rabbit? What’s Project Sisyphus? Unfortunately, there’s no way for him to ask these questions. Not in the way he wants to. “Meep meep!” he shouts, hoping that they’ll get the message.
They both look at him. “I know…” Kevin says, “There’s a lot to explain.”
“Oh my god…” Paige is breathing heavily. She starts pacing around the tiny office. “We need to do something… like call the police. They need to go out and find Wile.”
“Paige, be realistic.” He puts his hand on her shoulder to stop her from pacing. “The police here are probably in ACME’s pocket. They aren’t going to do anything. Even if they weren’t, I doubt they’d care about a case like this.”
“Well… we can’t do nothing. Wile could be in trouble!” Paige shouts.
She’s right. Wile needs help. The worst case scenario has happened. The one that has been tormenting him for months. That those people who wanted to catch him, managed to catch Wile.
Road Runner races out of the law firm. Not waiting for them to figure out what they want to do. He knows where ACME headquarters is. He stumbled upon it while searching the town. It’s only a few second run away.
He runs straight there.
ACME headquarters is unlike anything that Road Runner has ever seen. The giant glass building stands center to an entire complex filled with thousands of people. Wile could be within the depths of this complex and Road Runner would have no way of knowing.
He enters the main building. The lobby is a lot colder than a glass building in the desert has any right to be. It’s so loud in here too with speakers talking about the new ACME products and others filling the lobby with music. There’s large video screens displaying videos on loop. It’s all so overwhelming compared to the desert that he’s used to.
Worst of all, there's so many people buzzing about the place. He doesn't know where to begin his search. If he asks one person that doesn’t know what happened to Wile, does he risk missing someone who does?
The people that were involved with trying to catch him were all dressed up in military gear. It blocked their faces. Except for one guy, who was wearing a suit like everyone else here. Unfortunately, that guy isn’t among the people in lobby.
A man in a suit leans against the wall. He's staring at his phone. Road Runner runs up to him. He taps the man on the arm and holds up the sign asking about Wile.
The man does look at the sign. He rolls his eyes. “Do I look like I would know who that is? Bug off, bird.” He strolls off.
Rude, Road Runner thinks. But that guy didn’t really react. He probably doesn’t know where Wile is.
There's more people in the lobby. More chances for him to get the information that he needs. He holds up the sign for a woman rushing by. She doesn't even glance at it.
He tries this again and again. Someone approaches him and he shows them the sign. Each time he is met with a dismissive reaction. Some don’t look at him and pass by. Others make some snide remark. No one is willing to help him.
This is made harder by the fact that people are deliberately avoiding him. There's a wide empty circle around him. Maybe, the issue was casting too wide of a net. He needs specific questions. But he only has two signs left, so he needs to be careful with what they are.
Then as he roams the lobby, he spots something. People keep looking at this electronic sign on the wall and then getting into the elevators. It’s large and filled with a lot of text and numbers. At first, Road Runner had dismissed it as being another screen in a sea of screens, but maybe this has some information he can use.
He zips over to it. It’s a directory with so many different departments. Lots of them with names that seem irrelevant. But he doesn’t know for sure if they are. It’s a shame that “Coyote Kidnappers” isn’t an option. That would make this whole thing so much easier. One of them is Legal. It’s on the 4th floor.
Wile was involved with a lawsuit with ACME. The legal department here has to know something.
Too impatient to use the elevator, he races up the stairs. The fourth floor is very different than the lobby. There’s lot of desks in walled off cubicles. Everyone here is on their computer. No one has even noticed Road Runner’s presence.
Asking around is likely to get him kicked out. He needs to find the right person among the sea of people There’s name plates on the cubicles with titles that Road Runner doesn’t fully understand. None of them strike him as someone particularly important.
He hears a high pitched scream. A familiar one that he heard back when they tried to catch him. Road Runner turns his head to the source of the scream.
It’s the same man that tried to trap Road Runner. He doesn’t have hair now, but Road Runner has not forgotten that face. Right now, he has an expression of pure terror. Clearly, remembering the very clear message that Road Runner sent to them that day.
He turns and runs.
A futile act. Road Runner is in front of him within milliseconds. He holds up the sign asking about Wile.
“I… I don’t know. Why are you asking me?” His voice is shaking. He looks around. Probably looking for some kind of escape.
Road Runner spreads out his wings, both to block him from leaving and to threaten him. He glares at the man. Slowly starts walking towards him. He backs up into a corner. He clacks his beak as a threat.
“Really… I… I don’t know why you think I did something.” He’s shaking.
Road Runner stalks closer to him. An audience has started to gather. Not that he cares. This man has to know where Wile is. Nothing is making him leave until he gets the information about Wile that he needs.
“Could someone please call security?” the man shouts into the crowd.
He starts making himself smaller, as Road Runner closes in. “I really don’t know what happened to the Coyote! I swear!”
Road Runner considers if biting this man will make him confess. He’s within biting distance now. It would, at least, be satisfying to bite the man who stole Wile from him.
“Well… well… well… What do we have here?” The crowd parts for this new man. Road Runner pays him no mind. Not when the other man is about to break. “Pelicanos, are you really being threatened by a bird?”
“Sir! Help! Please!” Pelicanos cries.
Road Runner lowers his wings and turns to the man. This must be Pelicanos’ boss. He’s tall and broad shouldered. Wearing a suit that’s well-tailored. Despite the situation, he has a slight smile to his face.
“Why don’t you two come into my office?” The boss motions for the two of them to follow him.
Something feels off about this man. He’s too calm for this situation. Especially, if he knows something about Wile. This could be some sort of trap. It very likely is. But the last time he didn’t walk into an obvious trap, Wile went missing. Maybe walking into an obvious trap will bring him back.
Pelicanos rushes past Road Runner and paces alongside his boss. Road Runner follows. He slows his speed to match theirs. Walking isn’t something that he’s used to. It’s almost painful when he wants to be in the office immediately.
Thankfully, it’s a short walk to the boss’s office. There’s a name plate on the door reading “Buddy Crane. Chief Legal Defense”. So, he is the boss here. Great to know. Even if he doesn’t know exactly where Wile is, he should be able to find out.
Road Runner races in. He stands by the desk, impatiently waiting for the other two to enter.
When they do Pelicanos closes the door behind him. He looks over at Buddy Crane. “Sir, are you sure this is a good idea?” he asks in a whispering tone without lowering the volume. “The last time we dealt with him he killed three people in a helicopter crash and injured 14 more.”
That’s news to him. He didn’t know that anyone got injured, much less died. He probably should have considering that the helicopter exploding upon crashing. After seeing Wile get blown up so much, he kind of forgot that humans are much more fragile than cartoons.
Oh, well. No real loss, since they were trying to kidnap him.
“It’s fine. I can handle a single bird.”
That’s what they all say, Road Runner thinks. The only one that has ever even gotten close was Wile and that was after decades of trying. He’s also the only person that he doesn’t mind trying to catch him. Everyone else is a nuisance.
Crane claps his hands. “So, what seems to be the problem.”
Repeating this question is getting tiring. Road Runner holds up the sign asking about Wile.
“Ah. There’s a name that I haven’t heard in a while.” He leans against his desk. “Wile E. Coyote… he certainly made my job a lot harder. Why are you asking about him? Is he missing?”
Road Runner pulls out a new blank sign. He hastily writes, “I know ACME has taken him. Where is he? I want him back.”
“Don’t know why you’d accuse us. After all, it’s not our fault that your boyfriend has decided to go chase someone else.” Crane maintains direct eye contact with Road Runner. He puffs up his feathers to show that he’s not intimidated by this man. He’s nothing to Road Runner, except an obstacle that stands in the way of his goal.
“You really think that some lone desert dog is important enough for us to have some secret military operation to make him disappear.” Crane shrugs. “Sorry, to tell you, but he wasn’t that important enough to us.”
Road Runner glares at him. That is exactly what he thinks. That whatever Wile got himself involved with made them scared enough to make him vanish. He edits his sign, “I know all about Project Sisyphus. That ACME has made people vanish. You did the same to Wile.”
He’s completely bluffing here. He doesn’t really know anything about Project Sisyphus or about people vanishing. The only bits that he caught is that ACME doesn’t like it when people talk about this. All he wants to do is pressure this man into telling him where Wile is.
Buddy Crane’s face darkens. He walks towards Road Runner. Leans in really close. “I have no clue what you’re talking about. Frankly, you’re lucky that we don’t sue you for slander.”
The office door opens. Multiple security officers rush in. They surround Road Runner. “Frankly, if I were you, I’d leave now and never come back or else security will have to escort you out.”
Does he really think that these men are capable of catching him? After their last attempt, he should know how powerful Road Runner is. He could rush out the office door right now, not even mildly slowed down by their presence.
But he won’t. That’s not dramatic enough of an exit.
He rushes towards the window. Jumps on the desk. Hits the window shattering it instantly. He spreads out his wings and glides towards the ground.
When he lands he looks back at the chaos behind him. Buddy Crane stands where there used to be a window. Staring down at Road Runner. The security guards around him have filed out. Probably, trying to chase him.
It doesn’t matter. He’ll be gone by the time they reach the first floor anyways.
He runs back to the office. It’s still a chaotic mess when Road Runner gets there. Maybe more so, with his fast exit causing papers flying
When he enters, he immediately runs back to Kevin’s office. Kevin and Paige are still there. The two of them are arguing about something. “I don’t even know what we could do! We don’t even know for sure that ACME is why he’s gone!” Kevin shouts.
“Meep Meep!” Road Runner says to get their attention.
“You” Kevin points at Road Runner. “Where did you go? You left without saying anything!”
There’s so much that he learned that he needs to tell them. Body language wouldn’t work at all. Signs would be too inconvenient. There’s too much for him to say. He gestures at the computer.
“You want to borrow the computer? Sure, I guess.”
“Meep Meep!” Road Runner says to thank him.
He’s not used to computers, but he can manage. The whole desktop is mess much like the rest of the office. He finds Microsoft Word, and begins typing up everything. How ACME tried to capture him during the trial, how the guy who did it works for ACME, how Buddy Crane definitely knows something.
Kevin and Paige come over. It takes longer than Road Runner would like for the two of them to read it. He did type about two whole pages. Maybe he said more than he really should have.
“Okay…” Paige takes a deep breath. “So… ACME tried to capture you?”
Road Runner beeps in confirmation.
“And… obviously, they weren’t successful. Since, you’re standing here right now,” Kevin adds.
He beeps in confirmation again. They were not successful, because they were not Wile. At the part about his escape, he left out the helicopter crash. It didn’t really seem necessary for him to mention.
“And the whole thing was run by Pelicanos.” Kevin turns to Paige. “I don’t know if you remember him from the trial. He’s basically Buddy Crane’s personal lackey. It’s not too surprising that Crane makes him do his dirty work.”
“And the whole reason you know this is because you went to ACME and confronted Buddy Crane personally.” Kevin rubs his hands on his face. “Which was the worst possible move that you could have done.”
“Well, obviously he didn’t want to do nothing,” Paige pipes up.
“Meep Meep!” Road Runner says, to confirm what she’s saying.
“Look, we need real concrete evidence before we accuse ACME of any wrong-doing. Especially, for something as serious as this.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I don’t even know where we would start with something like this.”
Is everything that Road Runner has provided not evidence enough? The fact that the people who tried to kidnap him work for ACME should be more than evidence enough that they are responsible.
“Well… Road Runner’s testimony is a start. Maybe we could pull the security cameras from the night Wile went missing. That could shine some light on what happened!” Paige suggests.
Kevin shakes his head. “That was over a year ago. Most places don’t keep footage past 30 days. Anything we could use has probably already been deleted.”
“Well.. maybe we could secretly record them and goad them into confessing. New Mexico is a one-party consent state, so the recording would be admissible in court.”
“It’s a good idea, except for the fact that Buddy Crane would be on the look out for some trick like that. He’d word it in some way that gives him plausible deniability.”
This lawyer talk is bothering Road Runner. None of it is bringing them any closer to getting Wile back. Besides, going through the courts isn’t fast enough. It could takes months or years to get Wile back that way.
Kevin hangs his head down. “I think we need to face the fact that ACME has probably covered every single angle we could think of.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to stop. We have to try. Wile needs us!” Paige protests.
Road Runner beeps in agreement. He’s failed Wile once. He doesn’t plan on failing him again. From this point forward, everything that Road Runner does will be in pursuit of saving him.
“Okay… look…” Kevin takes in a deep breath. “I don’t think that we’re getting anything done today. It’s probably best if we reconvene tomorrow.”
He doesn’t like that thought. Wait for tomorrow. Wile is in danger and he needs their hep. They can’t wait another day to rescue him! He holds up a sign, “I am not leaving without Wile.”
“We’re still going to search for Wile, but it’s been a very long day. It’s best if we all got some rest,” Paige says.
Road Runner pouts. He shakes his sign to emphasize his point.
“You cannot stay in this office. Especially since ACME probably has it out for you now. Wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first place they looked.”
“Mr. Runner, you can stay with me while we search for Wile. I promise that we’ll be back here early tomorrow.”
“Meep meep?” Road Runner says, asking if it’s really okay with her. He doesn’t want to leave, but he guesses that being close to here would be better than nothing.
Kevin turns to Paige. “Are you sure that you want him staying with you?” he asks in a whisper
“Oh, yeah. It’s fine.”
Road Runner has only been in car a couple of times. There’s never been a point to using one when he can outrun even the fastest race car. But this time he makes an exception.
It’s strange seeing the world move when he’s not running. The world is clearer at these lower speeds.
Paige talks a bit about her time with Wile. Road Runner listens intently. He’s curious what Wile is like beyond him. She tells him about how Wile had figured out the paint for the message, how he pushed her and Kevin out of the way of a train, how every time something broke he would try to find some way to fix it.
They arrive at a large apartment complex. It’s a basic blocky one that looks identical to the ones that surround it. “We’re here!” Paige says.
She leads him up to her apartment which is on the third floor. “Sorry about the mess,” she says after opening up the door.
There really isn’t a mess. It’s much cleaner than the chaos of the office. There’s some dirty plates in the sink and clothes strewn about. That’s about the extent of the mess.
The living room area is decorated very simple. There’s not much beyond a couch, a tv, and a beanbag chair.
“Are you okay with sleeping on the couch?”
Road Runner situates himself on the beanbag chair. It feels like a softer more comfortable version of a nest. “Oh, you’re sleeping on the beanbag chair? That makes sense. Do you want a blanket?”
Road Runner shakes his head. Blankets He pulls out a sign. “Thank you.”
She really has been so helpful. He finds it comforting that Wile
Paige gives him a soft smile. “It’s no problem. And hey… don’t worry. We’re going to find Wile. I promise.”
He hopes she’s right. His life doesn’t have meaning if it doesn’t have Wile. He holds up a new sign. “Good night.”
“Good night, Mr. Runner.” She goes into her bedroom, leaving Road Runner alone.
He closes his eyes and tries to sleep. But he finds that he can’t. His mind is racing with ways to get Wile back or with what is happening to him. There’s a specific image of Wile trapped alone in a cell that sticks in his mind.
Wherever he is must be secure to keep Wile down. He’s so smart that there really shouldn’t be anything that can hold him back for long. Over the decades, he’s seen Wile make the most interesting traps out of materials that most people wouldn’t think about. He’d probably be able to make something to escape with using string and a paperclip.
He looks out the window. The sky is black. All the stars are blocked by the city lights. Somewhere beyond this sky, there’s Wile. Though the two of them are far apart now, they won’t be forever. There’s never been any force on heaven or Earth that could keep them separated for long.
Wait for me, Wile. I’m coming.
Meanwhile, deep within a secret ACME facility far away…
Wile E. Coyote sits alone in his cell. It’s cold and tiny. He barely has enough room to stretch out. The only thing he has to sleep on is a cold metal slab. There’s no privacy within the cell, as a plexiglass wall stands in place of bars. Not that it matters. The chain around his throat prevents him from escaping even when the door is open.
Escape has proven to be a greater challenge than catching Road Runner. He’s tried again and again and again. Each time, he fails and he suffers for it. It is starting to feel completely pointless. Even with his genius, what can he do against an entire facility designed to contain him.
There’s no window in his cell. His only source of light is a single fluorescent bulb that is always on. Day and night blend together. It doesn’t help that the scientists run their tests on him at seemingly random times.
The tests are always so brutal. He gets blown up, crushed, impaled, shocked, and all other sorts of horrible things with seemingly no rhyme or reason. It hurts worse than whenever it would happen in the desert. Back then he could use the pain to figure out how to improve his plans. Decide to keep a plan and modify it or throw it out altogether.
Here, he has no control. It makes the pain and the humiliation so much worse. The scientists decide everything. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know what they plan on inflicting him until the test begins. That white walled room promises every type of pain whenever Wile sees it.
There’s no way for him to communicate with the scientists. He doesn’t his signs anymore. When he first woke up here, he tried pulling out a sign to ask a question. But no sign had appeared. They managed to steal the only voice that he had.
Not that having his signs would even make a difference.
The scientists probably wouldn’t even listen. They don’t even seem to think of him as a person. Many of them refuse to talk to him or even look at him. They treat him as if he is nothing more than some scientific instrument, no different than a microscope or centrifuge. Forcing him to move on to one test after another with no time for recovery.
Frankly, he doesn’t really feel like a person anymore. Every facet of his identity has been stripped from him. The scientist refer to him as “Subject 1949” rather than by his name. It doesn’t matter who he is, or who he was, to them. All that matters is getting the knowledge that they need.
He thinks of his life before. How simple it was. Getting up in the morning and chasing the Road Runner each and every day. The two of them running around in the desert, free as can be. Setting up his latest traps and watching Road Runner somehow outsmart them.
He misses that life so much. As hard as it is to admit, he misses Road Runner. He had been Wile’s constant companion for nearly his entire life. There’s nothing that he wouldn’t give to see that bird’s smug face or hear his “Meep Meep!” again.
How could he let himself get trapped like this? He’s a genius with an intelligence that is several steps above Einstein. He’s spent the last decade perfecting traps. It should have been obvious that the Road Runner was a fake. A decoy set out so that ACME could trap him.
Logically, he knew that there was no reason for Road Runner to be in Washington D.C.. Road Runner never left the desert and he doubts that he would have heard about the court hearing, much less cared to give his testimony.
It’s just after the fight with fight with Kevin, he wanted so badly to prove him wrong. He can catch the Road Runner. Show him that he could do it. Show everyone that has ever doubted him that he was able to do what they said was impossible.
But, that wasn’t the sole reason he fell for it was it?
Truth be told, he felt completely alone at that moment. Someone that he thought of as a friend had just betrayed him. Had lied to him. He was a thousand miles from home and alone. When he saw Road Runner his heart leapt, because he was a friendly face in a world full of strangers.
Did they manage to catch him? Is he here somewhere in the facility too?
No, that’s unlikely. In fact, it’s impossible.
If Wile couldn’t catch him after decades of trying, then there’s no chance that they got him. Nothing that they could come up with could even come close to rivaling the elaborate brilliance of the schemes that Wile has concocted. They would probably do something stupid and try trapping him with glue and bird seed. That one never works.
Though he was not on the best terms with Road Runner, he truly hopes that he’s far away from this nightmare of a facility. He can’t imagine that Road Runner would fare well with all these hellish tests. His joyous temperament would fade. Wile would hate for him to lose that bright smile of his.
There’s footsteps approaching his cell. Wile mentally braces for whatever nightmare is about to befall him. Pressing himself in the corner to keep whoever is coming far away from him.
Foghorn Leghorn comes into view. Two guards stand by his side. This isn’t unusual. He’s been coming down intermittently to mock Wile. Apparently, taking great joy in causing Wile so much misery.
He nods at one of the guards to open up the cell. For a second, Wile thinks about bolting through. The heavy weight around his neck reminds him that he can’t. He’d tried before, but he’d been pulled back immediately. The chain had been made specifically to keep cartoons locked up. There’s nothing he could do to escape it.
Foghorn Leghorn saunters into Wile’s cell. “Well… well… well… if it isn’t Wile E. Coyote. How’s your stay down here been treating you?”
Wile glares at him. It’s all he can do, short of actually growling, to show his displeasure.
“What’s with the mean look, son? You ain’t too pleased to see me?” He looms over Wile, completely blocking out the light.
An animalistic part of Wile’s brain tells him that he’s in danger. Fight or run, his instincts are screaming at him. There’s no running. Fighting makes the tests worse. He has to swallow his fear and face down this monster of a rooster.
“Why I say, that today is a day for us to celebrate! Why it’s the one year anniversary of you staying here! One year since you were stupid enough to try and expose us.” He laughs. “That didn’t turn out as well for you as you wanted it too, now did it, son?”
A year… Wile can barely process that. He hasn’t been free in over a year. That fight with Kevin is still fresh in his mind. He guesses that Kevin was right. He’s never going to catch Road Runner now.
“Now, I feel I’ve gotta thank ya. Due to all the information you have given us through your generous volunteering, ACME has had its best year yet! And, that ain’t even the best part…” He pulls something out of his jacket. Wile presses himself into the wall harder. Nothing good ever comes from Foghorn Leghorn visits.
It’s a newspaper with what he assumes to be today’s date. Foghorn tosses it at him. It smacks him the head. “Ain’t nobody has reported you missing. You can check the paper for yourself. There ain’t one single mention of a missing coyote. One year of being gone and nobody has even noticed.”
Wile looks at the paper on the ground. Afraid to touch it for fear that it’s been booby trapped somehow. It is from Albuquerque. There’s articles about what has been going on in the city. Nothing pertaining to Wile. He does catch a glimpse of an Avery, Jones, & Maltese ad. It seems Kevin still has his law firm.
“You know, I was worried at first when you were brought in. I’d check the papers every single day to see if anyone was making a big stink about you disappearing. And sure there was some hubbub when ya didn’t show up to the hearing, but after that nothing. No missing persons report. No articles. Not even that lawyer of yours said anything.”
It hurts hearing it, but he’s not surprised. Spending his life in the desert didn’t make him the most popular person in the world. He at least thought that Kevin or Paige would make a fuss about him being gone. But… they haven’t. They didn’t care the way Wile thought they did.
“I say, why I say, that Road Runner that you were always chasing is probably relieved. Now, he’s got a peaceful life without you. Free to run about the desert without always looking over his shoulder. Wouldn’t be surprised if we received a thank you note from him.”
This infuriates Wile. It’s probably true, which is why it is all the more upsetting. He knows that he’d been nothing but a nuisance to Road Runner. He let’s out a low growl. It’s the only way he can argue without his signs.
Foghorn Leghorn doesn’t flinch. He laughs. “You really are one dumb dog, if you think that bird cares about you one lick.” He leans in towards him. “You need to face it, son. There ain’t no one in the whole wide world that cares about you. There never has been and there never will be.”
Wile whimpers.
“Hah! Look at that, whimpering like the dog you are! You truly are pathetic.” He picks up the newspaper. “Well, I best be going. I’ve got a business to run and you’ve got tests to do.”
He turns around and saunters out. The guards lock the door behind Foghorn Leghorn. There’s the loud clunk of the lock that separates him from freedom.
Before Foghorn leaves, he takes one last look at Wile. “I hope you enjoy another year of testing and another and another, because you ain’t never getting out here!”
He laughs as he leaves. It echoes through the hallway as he walks away until it completely fades away. Leaving Wile only with the sound of the fluorescent bulbs overhead and the slight hum of the laboratory’s machinery.
Once again, he is alone.
He crawls onto the metal shelf that passes for a bed. Thankful that his fur keeps him from feeling the full coldness of the metal. He stares at the ceiling and tries to pretend for one second that he’s home in his cave.
That he has just come home from another attempt at catching the Road Runner. Laying on his bed, taking a brief well-deserved break. Figuring out what went wrong and how it could go better next tomorrow. Followed by preparing for the next day’s chase.
The image of Road Runner racing around the desert pops into his mind. Road Runner is always racing, never stopping for a single second. The wind glides so smoothly around his feathers. Wile’s never seen him fly, but seeing him run he understands that Road Runner has no need to fly.
He’s already as free as he can be.
What would it be like to be as free as Road Runner? He has no goals, no responsibilities, not a single care in the world. There’s nothing tethering him to one place. All he does is run around feeling the air rush past his feathers.
Foghorn’s remark about Road Runner not missing him echoes in his mind. He probably has already forgotten him and moved on with his life. Maybe he didn’t even view Wile the way Wile viewed him, a nemesis, a worthy opponent, and on some occasions, a friend. He was nothing to the Road Runner and that thought hurts more than anything else.