Chapter Text
The parchment is folded neatly. Two lines, one going down in the middle, and one going right. The folds look pristine and tight, as if they were folded with the utmost of care to not rip or damage the fresh paper. While a handful of words are messily scrawled, most are easy to read, the handwriting not recognisable to anyone at the Academy, at least not at first glance. There were no drops or leaks anywhere, as if each word and comma of ink was placed purposefully, carefully, thoughtfully — the words waiting patiently to escape onto the page.
It sat silently, waiting, next to a lamp, on a desk, folded into a square, waiting to be unwrapped.
a mined mind
my skin peels off
as my fingers drift to you
an eyeball threatens to pop, spurt, gorge
when my eyes fall to your face
nostrils clog with clotted blood
when your scent wafts closer
it holds me tighter than you did
wrapping rotten organs
knotting moth-eaten hair
a cruel, stabbing cuddle
fingertips grazing my body, moving
to now hold my windpipe between scratchy nails
hold me, i asked once, kiss me harder
love me fully
keep me here with you so i may feel my body breathe again
now my flesh runs dry and cold
a molten mess of rusting ash
as your left-behind clothes cloak my chest
thread pulled inside my ribs
i can feel ears rumble
eardrums ringing and ringing out
falling deep into my skull
just as you say hi
i think of you
in bed, in the rivers, in conversations
in-between the halls and the hail and the horrible nights
my mind, an excavated quarry
empty of thoughts when not thinking of you
empty when thinking of you
so some things must end
a rotted body with a decayed mind
death on the horizon, the last setting of a blazing sun
but oh, how my body breaks still
under your gaze