Chapter Text
“Alex,” says a voice as familiar to him as his own, it was caressing him out of sleep, “Alex.” Someone is in bed with him. Alex doesn’t remember going to bed with anyone, and it strikes him that he must be dreaming.
“A few moments more, John, please.” John? Alex is sure he knows no John. John must be his soulmate. He feels a blissful sort of peace with his soulmate here in his arms. Alex is never one for sleeping in, but this feels like a good enough reason to change that.
“I could stay like this forever; you know that; however, the General needs us. And the people who will come looking for us will not be as accepting as our friends,” John insists lovingly. Alex opens his eyes slowly; John is right.
“I hate it when you’re right.” Alex moves slowly, allowing John to sit up as well. John smiles, and Alex swoons. His soulmate is the most beautiful being that has ever graced this harsh, cold world. This is who he is meant to be with; he is positive. Alexander leans over and kisses the other man. It is quick. But what is more natural than kissing your soulmate? It sends tingles up and down Alex’s body.
“Alexander Hamilton,” John shrieks, his face a bright red.
“What John Laurens?” Alex fains innocently. Laurens? Was that his last name Laurens?
“You can’t do that! What if people see?”
“Let them see. You are my soulmate.”
John’s eyes melt, “I love that you feel that way. You have no idea how happy that makes me, but this,” he motions to the two of them, in the same bed, “is illegal. Soulmate or not, Alex. You know that.”
“If God, if there is one, did not want us to be together, he would not have made us soulmates. He would not have brought together in the first place. John, if we are not meant to be together, kissing you would not feel so right.”
The slight blush John was wearing grew exponentially, his freckles are drowned in a sea of red, “Stop, Alex, please. It hurts so much.”
“I love you. And if that is wrong, I apologize, but I have no control over it. I cannot stop it just because it is illegal. I love you, and that is not going to change.”
“Why Alex? Please Alexander tell me why,” John sobs, “How is it possible to love someone this much? Why is it possible to find your other half and not be able to be with him? Alexander, I-I just want to be with you. Why can’t I be with you? Being with you is so natural, why can’t everyone see that and let us be happy?
John is crying, full-on sobbing, and Alex is at a loss. He wraps his arms around the trembling man, “The fates are cruel,” he whispers. So cruel, why would they give them each other if they can’t be together? It wasn’t supposed to be this way. You were supposed to find your soulmate and live happily ever after. That’s it. Why did the fates hate them so?
Through his tears, John laughs, “Alex, can I ask you something?” His hands grip onto his soulmate as if his life depends on it.
Alex brushes his hands through John’s curls, “Anything for you, my dearest.”
“Do you-Do you think there will ever be the world where we can be together? Where it won’t matter that we are both men? Where I can hold you without being afraid?”
A smile plays gently on Alexander’s lips, “One day, I’m sure, and even if it takes 1000 lifetimes, you, my dear Laurens, will be worth it.”
John buries himself deeper into his soulmate, “I’m so sorry, Alexander.”
“For what?” John is perfect; Alexander is sure of that. There is nothing he could ever be sorry for.
“If I was a woman…” He is cut off by Alex’s lip pressing gently on his. John looks up at Alex, confusion evident in his eyes. His eyes are beautiful.
“I love you, all of you. You are not allowed to hate yourself, any part of you. You are forbidden from wishing to be different. You are perfect, John. And one day, I’ll prove it to you.” The way John is looking at him makes Alex feels like he painted the heavens. Alex is in love with that look; he is in love with John Laurens.
“I love you, too.”
Alex just holds John, refusing to let go. If he lets go, he’ll lose John again. Again? John is going to die at the end of this war. Alex will have to live without his soulmate. This is just a sweet dream to torment him with the fact that he has yet to meet his soulmate.