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“Keith, look out!” Hunk yelled. Lance’s eyes flicked automatically towards the Red Lion, his hands halfway to activating Blue’s tail laser to take out any fighter drones which might be coming up behind Keith. The Red Lion plunged right through a jet of flame, and Lance sighed in relief as he turned his attention back to picking off drones without hitting their allies’ ships. Keith’s Lion could handle the heat, Fire was kinda their thing.
“Hunk, Red can handle the heat of a blue fucking star. She can take a littl-ack!” Keith yelped and sputtered, Red swerving wildly.
“Keith, what’s wrong?” Shiro barked, and out of the corner of his eye Lance saw Black spin to face Red.
“There’s fucking-” he made a spluttering sound, like he was spitting something out of his mouth. “WHY IS THERE GLITTER IN MY LION?”
Lance’s eyes widened, and he clamped his lips shut around a giggle. He’d found the shiny not-quite-powder on a small planet they liberated from the galra over a month ago, and at first he’d planned to put just a bit in everyone’s Lion. But that would’ve made him the obvious culprit, so he’d opted to pour it all in Red’s air vents instead while Keith was doing touch-ups one day. All this time he’d thought that he poured it in the wrong vents, or Red had eliminated the foreign material, but no it had just been sitting there, waiting for the system to turn on. Oh man, there were very few times when it would’ve been better for this to happen. Pidge was howling in his ear, Hunk was laughing his deep belly laugh, and even Shiro sounded like he was sniggering.
“This isn’t funny!” Keith yelled, and Lance couldn’t help it. He crackled, laughter pouring out of him like water from a spectacularly broken damn. “I am covered in glitter!” Keith shouted as Red began flying straight again, helping Pidge and Green disable the battleships. Lance laughed harder, doubling over in his pilot’s seat.
“Is your- is your mullet sparkly?” he gasped, eyes watering. This was the best thing that had happened all week. He almost wished his Paladin armour had a place to put his phone so he could take a picture when they all got back to the castle. No, scratch the almost, he really wished he had his phone on hand.
“My everything is sparkly!” Keith snapped.
Lance cackled harder, and only when he was thrown out of his seat with a heavy thud did he realize he’d been leaning on Blue’s controls. Whoops. At least he’d hit an enemy ship, not one of their allies.
“Whichever one of you did this, I will find out, and you will pay.” Keith snarled.
“Good luck with that.” Pidge sniggered. “If Red let this happen, she’s not gonna be any help.”
“I hate all of you.” Keith said flatly. Lance used one of Blue’s paws to scrape the squished ship off his Lion’s nose, and giggled as he went back to blasting drone ships. One more point for him, even if nobody else knew it had been him. Yet. He had no doubt somebody would figure it out eventually, but for now he’d just enjoy the satisfaction of a prank gone wonderfully right.