Chapter Text
Jazz run his fingertips softly on the edges of Optimus' front windows on his chest. They lay on Optimus' berth, it was night and everyone expect those who were on night shift were sleeping. Optimus was on his back, arm wrapped around Jazz to keep him close. The right-hand man placed his hand on Optimus' chest, he could almost feel the pulse of the Matrix in Prime's husk.
They lay there silently, they could go on like this for hours. Words weren't always needed, just being able to be like this was sometimes enough. From outside the room they could hear Warpath going on and on about the latest battle with the Decepticons, his night shift partner clearly wasn't interested. Jazz moved his head to get a better position, he snuggled lightly against Prime's neck.
The Special Operations head moved his lips close to Optimus' audio receptors and whispered: "Do you mind if I play music?" Optimus moved his head so his was leaning against Jazz's. He tightened his hold around him a bit and answered: "I don't mind, as long as it's on low volumes. We don't want to wake up the whole Ark." Jazz smiled widely. He turned on his car radio and dropped the volumes so only he and Optimus would hear it. The leader offlined his optics and hummed softly. Having Jazz so close to him made him feel happy.
"Don't get mad if I fall asleep, okay?" Optimus whispered tiredly, the smaller bot chuckling. He wrapped his own arm around Optimus' chest and answered: "I could never get mad at you. Just sleep if you are tired, you deserve it." Optimus was lucky to have Jazz, he couldn't get enough of him. Jazz was the light of his life. It was nice to feel loved by someone in the middle of everything that's going on.
"I should recharge as well", Jazz added and offlined his optics as well.
--
Bumblebee stepped in Rodimus' office on Earth with Ultra Magnus. Rodimus was talking with Jazz, who was currently on Cybertron, taking care of preparations for a long-distance trip to space. They were finishing up the call.
"Thank you, Jazz, I can always count on you", Rodimus spoke and lifted up his thumb.
"Don't mention it, Prime, just doin' my job!" Jazz answered with a bright smile on his face.
Bumblebee felt a bit sad to see Jazz, even though he was smiling and getting used to the new life situation. Bumblebee knew, the Ark crew knew, everyone knew how close Jazz and Optimus were. Bee recalled the moment when Jazz realised that Optimus was gone like it was yesterday, it was spark-aching. It was like the light from his optics had turned off.
"We'll be departing to Cybertron soon. Call us if something important comes up", Rodimus continued and gestured with his hands a little.
"Will do, Optimus! Have a safe flight!"
The video call ended and the window closed. Rodimus felt bad, he felt like he was betraying Jazz. Not because he happened to be him and not Optimus, but because Jazz clearly hadn't accepted the truth. Rodimus would do anything, absolutely anything in the world to bring Optimus back, but there was nothing he could do. He felt like everytime Jazz looked at him, he was letting him down. Rodimus sighed a little, Ultra Magnus stepped next to him.
"You can't let him keep doing that, Rodimus", he said sadly and the Prime nodded agreeing.
"I know, Magnus, but how am I supposed to tell him that he shouldn't mistake my name with Optimus'? We all want him back, and I understand why it's taking Jazz so long to adjust. I- just can't break it up to him", Rodimus murmured and looked at Magnus.
"I want to believe that by letting him call me Optimus could somehow help him."
"I know what you mean, Rodimus, but... this is not helping him", Magnus continued and lifted his hands up as a gesture.
"It's hurting him."
"Sir, let me talk to him", Bumblebee cut in and stepped next to the two much bigger bots. Magnus and Rodimus looked down at him as Bumblebee explained: "I've been friends with Jazz for as long as I can remember. We served together under Optimus for years. I will talk to him."
"Thank you, Bumblebee", Ultra Magnus replied, Bumblebee smiled a bit sadly. Magnus faced the Prime and told him: "I will prepare Omega Supreme for departure. We'll leave in twenty minutes."
--
"Rodimus is worried. We are all worried about you, Jazz..." Bumblebee started. He and Jazz were currently taking a break from work; they were playing Lobbing at the Iacon sports center. They weren't masters in the sport, but it was a nice game to pass the time.
Jazz wasn't smiling and it made Bee sad. Jazz passed the ball to Bumblebee and replied: "I know y'are, Bee. I'm sorry."
"You've got nothing to apologise for, Jazz", Bumblebee answered him after he had captured the ball in his arms. It was smaller than usual Lobbing balls, because the two Autobots happened to be a lot smaller than the bigger soldiers who preferred the game.
"Yeah, I do. I keep addressin' our leader by the wrong name", Jazz murmured and clenched his hands into fists. Bumblebee hesitated on throwing the ball, but Jazz gave him a sign to do it. He threw the ball and Jazz continued: "I am not mad; I don't think that Rodimus is Optimus. It comes automatically..." Jazz lowered the ball down and turned his optics to the ground. Bumblebee huffed and came fast walking pace over to him.
"... I keep thinking about the last thing I said to him. To everyone", Jazz said silently and faced Bumblebee, who wore a sad frown on his face.
"I remember teasing Ratchet again about me and Optimus. He got always so irritated", Jazz continued and chuckled sadly, Bumblebee letting a soft smile on his face. He lifted his hand on Jazz's shoulder.
"And Ironhide! Heh, he was his old, grumpy self. All of them... We had planned a lot of things that we should do. I was supposed to race with Prowl in the upcoming Grand Prix on Earth."
"Bumblebee... I think I'll never fully recover from it", Jazz whispered and offlined his optics for a short moment. Bee nodded and patted his shoulder.
"I know... I miss them terribly. Not a day goes by without me thinking about them", replied the yellow bug.
--
Rodimus was in his quarters, taking a break from all the leading-stuff. He was watching the city of Iacon from his wall sized window when a soft knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He turned towards the door, hailed; "Come in", and stayed waiting for his visitor by the window. The automatic doors wooshed open and Jazz stepped in. The doors closed after him.
"Jazz", Rodimus spoke as Jazz walked next to him.
"Sir. I'm sorry to interrupt you on such late hours", Jazz replied, Rodimus gestured a stop with his hand and said: "No, it's okay. Don't worry. What brings you here, Jazz?"
"How are you holding up...?"
"I'm fine, sir", Jazz answered with a muffled tone. He didn't yet face Rodimus directly to his optics. Rodimus tilted his head on side, he noticed that Jazz had something heavy on his mind. He'd give him all the time he needed.
"I... came to tell you that... I'm resigning from my duties. Sir."
Rodimus got confused. He didn't want to lose Jazz.
"Jazz, if this is about the whole name thing, I'm not mad at you", Rodimus said and gestured with his hands, but Jazz argued back: "No, sir, it's not. I've been thinkin' about things and... I have to do this."
"You're an amazing lieutenant, and a soldier, I wouldn't want to let you go."
"I'll keep my station here on Cybertron, but sir, I'd be very glad if you kept me out from everything else."
Rodimus frowned sadly and let his servos hang by his sides. Jazz finally faced him.
"Please, Rodimus. I... haven't given myself enough time to grieve. I wouldn't be much of a soldier out there on field, fighting off Galvatron and his goons. Not in my current situation. Let me go."
Rodimus sighed, Jazz was right. Losing Optimus was the worst thing to happen, he can only imagine how Jazz felt. Loving a Prime is risky, but then again, love itself is risky. Any bot could die, any moment. It could've been Jazz instead of Prime. It could've been anyone.
Rodimus lifted his hands on Jazz's shoulders. He leaned a little closer to be on his level, and said: "Jazz, I'm not forcing you to anything. You take your time, as long as you need. Your job will be waiting for you when you're ready."
"Thank you, Prime", Jazz replied, trying to force a smile but hardly managing it.
"The loss of Optimus and so many other Autobots bother me to this day. No one truly heals from such wounds, but it gets easier to handle", Rodimus explained. Wow, he impressed even himself. Jazz nodded and managed to tug up the right corner of his lips.
"Yeah, I guess so", he replied.