Chapter Text
What was there to do on an iceberg lab? Nothing. Nina Cortex sat at the end of the iceberg, black lace up boots dangling over the icy cold water. There wasn't anyone to mess with, and her uncle was always too busy to do anything. She sometimes considered helping out with creating the latest superweapon with her uncle (or father, she wasn't sure) but she was almost always pushed to the side and grabbing random tools rather than doing anything actually evil.
She sighed, looking out at the islands on the horizon and kicked her feet into the water. Why did holidays have to be so long and boring...? Suddenly, an idea struck her. She felt a smile break out onto her face and immediately got up, beginning to pace. This was going to be evil. It was her best idea yet! It wasn't a plan for armageddon or the apocalypse, really more of a prank, but it was going to be hilarious to watch...
She broke out into a skip and began to head down to the icy pier to take a boat over to the Wumpa Islands...
Neo Cortex would have hoped to awaken in bed the next day with everything absolutely normal, ready to go so he could keep working on evil. He had his plan for a portable superweapon, seeing as his ray gun was beginning to get a bit old and the plasma it shot had been outlawed worldwide, making it almost impossible and incredibly expensive to ship in to such a vague location.
He opened his eyes but felt a little strange. He was still in bed, yes, but he felt odd. Um, was he laying on a chain? He didn't go to sleep like that. He felt breath on his neck, suddenly, and froze up. Was someone there with him? He turned his head and felt his heart freeze for a second, seeing Crash Bandicoot fast asleep. Oh god. What happened?
Cortex tried to sit up and pushed the covers away - finding somehow he had been *chained to his archnemesis*. He took a deep frustrated breath and tried to push the chains away with no success. Who the hell did this?
Crash was still fast asleep. Cortex glared at him with a frustrated look and immediately wondered if Nina was responsible for this. A small part of him wanted to slap the bandicoot awake but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He lay down and stared at the dark ceiling, dreaming up what sort of punishment he could give to his niece or daughter, before feeling a furry arm grab him and hug him tight.
Cortex squirmed uncomfortably. Crash Bandicoot was hugging him. Crash Bandicoot was hugging him. Crash Bandicoot was hugging him. Cortex assumed he'd hate this but he oddly had mixed feelings. He remained still and ended up staring at the bandicoot's sleeping face, considering slapping him awake again or at the very least pushing his arms off but again he couldn't bring himself to do it.
"I'm not enjoying this or anything." Cortex mumbled.
Cortex didn't have the strength to push Crash's arm off him, he wasn't bothered. Or maybe he didn't want to. But he was stuck here until the bandicoot woke up.
Crash opened his eyes, expecting to see the fronds of a palm tree above him and a beautiful blue sky, and he thought he'd feel the warm soft sand underneath him, but, instead, he felt himself laying on some sort of metal chain, his arm on someone and he appeared to be laying on some smooth white fabric and underneath some blankets. His eyes were open and he appeared to be hugging a sleeping Neo Cortex.
This was great. Perfect. He put on his stupid toothy grin, wider than usual and immediately assaulted the man with a tight hug. He couldn't believe it, he didn't even care how he got there, he was here and that's what mattered.
Cortex's eyes shot open, he was suddenly wide awake again. And being squeezed by this bandicoot in a tight hug.
"G-get off me, you mindless marsupial!" Cortex tried to push Crash off him, feeling his cheeks burning for whatever reason.
Oddly enough, Crash complied. He still had that stupid, grin, however...
"I know you probably don't even understand a word of what I'm saying, but, it appears someone has..." Cortex spoke in a slow voice, trying to sound out every syllable carefully so the bandicoot could understand, "chained us together, and you need to get up so I can find the key and free us."
Crash nodded, but kept his grin. He almost seemed a bit too happy about this situation.
"Um, and you're not allowed to enjoy this situation. This is a terrible situation, being... chained together." Cortex spoke a bit faster and sat up, taking the bandicoot up with him.
It was a little difficult to get out of bed, but the two eventually adjusted to walking while chained together. It was a little uncomfortable, constantly making physical contact, mostly due to Cortex feeling Crash pressing up against him from behind constantly. What bothered Cortex the most was Crash seemed perfectly fine with all this. It also bothered him that he wasn't thinking of anything related to suicide yet.
Cortex, while awkwardly walking with the bandicoot pressed to his back, spotted a sticky note on his workbench. He didn’t remember putting a note there… He quickly went over to it and picked it up to read it.
It was his niece’s incredibly messing handwriting (although he had a feeling it was partially his fault it was so bad).
“Gone to Wumpa Islands and brought back a visitor. The Academy wanted me to do some evil homework” followed by a smiley face. He heaved a sigh of frustration and decided he should start work.
Cortex got his workbench ready, taking the metal framework of the weapon he was building and putting it in a hold. He needed it to be still while he was working on it.
"Now, Crash, I'm going to be doing work, and yes, yes, it's evil, just don't try to stop me. Do we have a deal?" Cortex asked the bandicoot physically pressed up to him.
There was of course, no response, but Crash didn't seem to make any attempt to stop him.
"Good, good." Cortex spoke and went to work on his device, beginning to make the firing system. Crash did nothing, but it didn't take long before Cortex felt two arms wrap around him.
"Crash, do you mind? Hands off." Cortex mumbled, trying to ignore the bandicoot the best he could. Crash didn’t respond or move but gently began to rock while gently hugging him.
Cortex crossed his arms to try to show his disapproval, but Crash only seemed to nuzzle against the back of his head. He didn’t want to think that the bandicoot was enjoying this, but it was kind of impossible to deny.
“I said you’re not allowed to enjoy this…” Cortex mumbled, finding himself rocking with the bandicoot. It really wasn’t that bad. The lab was typically a bit chilly and he’d had to keep the aircon at a slightly lower temperature than usual to save a few dollars, so feeling warm for once was pretty nice. He shut his eyes for a moment and didn’t mind the rocking, before realising he was breaking his own rule and quickly launched back into work.
Cortex had just finished the firing system, carefully placing it into the metal framework and carefully used a small tool to fix it to the frame. He felt Crash squeeze him tighter as a response, perhaps as a well done. It didn’t even bother him by now, he felt quite proud of himself. He then felt the bandicoot plant a kiss on the back of his head and froze up.
That was the last straw, Cortex turning around as quickly as he could to look the bandicoot in the eye. Although the chains meant they were still pressed together, he could stare up at Crash’s face disapprovingly.
“You are not to do that. Understand? Under no circumstances-” Cortex’s face was bright red, but he was cut off by the bandicoot kissing him again, this time right on the mouth.
Cortex found himself shutting his eyes and pausing for a few seconds before Crash pulled back, returning to his toothy grin.
“O-okay, you can do that, I, um, d-don’t mind.” Cortex mumbled and went back to working, accepting the inevitable hug from behind.
--
It was 5PM when Nina finally decided to return to the lab, carrying a basket of Wumpa Fruit. She couldn’t wait to see how steaming mad her uncle would be, knowing he couldn’t harm her in the slightest. Her mechanical hands weren’t useful for being hands but they were useful for self defense, also ever useful killing and maiming.
She threw open the steel doors without any problem, setting down the basket and began to skip to the second floor where her uncle was likely working.
Cortex was just sitting in his living quarters, scrolling through his phone while Crash was curled up on the couch next to him. They had gotten used to each other’s presence over the past few hours and were just relaxing.
Nina strolled in, pausing and staring at the odd peace she’d stumbled on.
“I expected to see you trying to kill each other…” She mumbled to them. “I’m almost a little disappointed.”
Cortex looked up from his phone and had the sudden realisation, he, was, in fact, not trying to kill his archnemesis even though he could likely strangle him right here. “O-oh. R-right.”
“I’m assuming you’d like to be unchained…?”
“Sure…” Cortex stuck his hand out and gave a glare. “Give me the key.” He demanded and tried to look intimidating.
Nina shrugged, not intimidated in the slightest and tossed him a small key, before leaving the room.
Cortex heaved a sigh of relief with the key and grabbed the padlock, carefully putting the key in and turning it so it opened. He was able to finally remove the chains.
“Okay, Crash, you’re free. Go home. Shoo.” Cortex pulled the chains out from underneath the bandicoot and himself, tossing them to the side. Crash sat up, noticing he was free but just sat there.
“Come on, you can go home. Back to the beaches where it isn’t freezing!” Cortex batted the bandicoot’s ears and seemed frustrated.
Crash just kicked his feet up on the couch and shut his eyes, leaning against Cortex who groaned.
“F-fine, if you’re going to stay here, stay here…” Cortex sighed, turning away to hide his slightly red face. He wrapped an arm around the bandicoot a few reluctant seconds later, but still refused to make eye contact.