Chapter Text
“What the hell did you do to your sitting room?” Pansy asked the next morning. “And why are you still in bed?”
Draco had called out from work the night before, saying he’d eaten something off. The owner of the shop had covered his shift and had offered to cover the next days as well, if Draco was still feeling unwell.
“I’m sick,” he told her. “And I’m never leaving my bed again.”
Pansy frowned at him. “Never?” she asked. “Aren’t there some things that are better done out of bed?”
“You know they haven’t always had toilets at Hogwarts,” he told her. “They used to just go on the floor and Vanish it.”
“I do not want to know why you know that, but I have a feeling it is somehow because of Granger.”
Draco sat up in his bed. “It was actually Snape who told me.”
“That might be more disturbing,” Pansy said. She walked to Draco’s bed and pushed him out of the way, then laid down next to him. “Seriously,” she said frowning, “what’s wrong.”
To Draco’s horror, his eyes filled with tears.
“I don’t think I can be friends with Harry.”
Pansy reached over and pulled him into a half hug. “Oh my darling, I’m so sorry.”
Draco sniffled at her.
“Did he figure out about your everlasting love and devotion?”
As he moved down the bed so he could rest his head in her lap, Draco sighed. “That makes it sound so much worse than it actually is. I'm not being friendly because I fancy him. ”
Pansy’s voice was gentle when she said, "Aren't you? If you weren't in love"—Draco tried to sit up, but Pansy pushed his head down—"with him, would you be doing this?"
"I'd like to think I'm altruistic enough to say yes."
Pansy let out a little laugh, and Draco turned his head so he could glare at her.
"Darling."
"Yeah, I know," Draco said. Because he did agree with what she wasn't saying. He appreciated the fact that she was being kind enough not to point out that he was only trying to be friends with Harry, despite his reservations, because he'd been in love with him for so long. That there were a million other things he would do only for Harry.
Pansy started stroking Draco’s hair, making sure to gently scratch his scalp every now and again.
“You broke up with Alex because he wanted to be friends.” Pansy’s voice was less gentle now.
Draco sniffled again. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“Draco,” she said, “I’m not mad about that. I just wish you could find someone else who will love you back.”
A tear dripped down Draco’s cheek onto Pansy’s lap.
“You don’t think he’ll ever love me?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that.” She kept stroking Draco’s hair. They sat in silence for a few long moments. “But I think there are so many other people who would love you who aren’t Harry Potter.”
“He kissed me,” Draco said in a teary rush.
“Fuck,” Pansy whispered.
“Yeah.”
“My Weasley would probably knock some sense into him if I asked her.” She scoffed. "Just kissing you all willy-nilly."
Draco shook his head. “You’d have to tell her about everything.” He sniffled. "I don't want her to know how I feel about Harry. It's too personal."
Pansy looked down at him, eyes soft and full of pity. “Oh, Draco.” She scratched his head gently. “I think Potter is the only person unaware that you’re in love with him.”
“I don’t know what to do about him,” Draco admitted. “I don’t want to irrevocably damage him because he thinks he’s developed feelings for me.”
Pansy patted his head a little harder than Draco thought was called for. "You're not going to damage him," she said. "You might've been sworn enemies at Hogwarts, but you being nice to him, won't fucking damage him."
"I will when he gets his memories back and he realises who he kissed." Draco let out a watery sigh. "I don't want him to think even more poorly of me when he's better. I don't…" He blinked back some more tears. "I don't want him to hate me," he said.
"He's not going to hate you," Pansy said.
“Well he's certainly not going to like me.”
With a sigh, Pansy pulled Draco back down so his head was in her lap. “Darling,” she said, “I don’t think you’re being fair to either one of you.”
Draco felt tears well up in his eyes again. “I just don’t want to end up getting more hurt.”
“Oh, Draco.” Pansy didn’t say anything after that, but she held Draco until he fell into an uneasy sleep.
——
Draco went back to work the next day. He plastered a smile on his face to help customers, drank too much tea, and somehow kept himself from shaking apart. When he went back to his flat, Hermione was waiting at his door.
“Hermione,” he said, blinking back tears. “I’m assuming you’re here to warn me off of Potter, to tell me he didn’t realise what he was doing yesterday, and to not get my hopes up.” Draco unlocked and opened the door, then let her enter his flat first. “I can assure you, I’m well aware of the situation,” he finished.
Hermione had a sad look on her face. “Draco, he really likes you.”
“Right now,” Draco said, sitting down on his sofa. “Right now he really likes me. Then when you fix him, he won’t.”
“We both know that’s not true,” Hermione said, still by the door. “I’m not here to tell you how to feel, but Harry is hurting too.” She looked at Draco until he had to turn his head away from her gaze. “You just need to let yourself be loved.”
“By the bloody Golden Boy?”
“It doesn’t have to be Harry,” Hermione said, “but someone.” She walked over to where Draco was sat on the couch and crouched down so they were face to face. “If you don’t want to be in a relationship with him, that’s one thing. But if you don’t think you’re worthy?” She shook her head. “That’s something totally different.”
“Did he tell you what happened?”
Hermione took one of Draco’s hands. Her hand was small, warm, soft. “He said he fucked something up after you’d had a panic attack. He said he took advantage of you in an altered state.”
Draco rolled his eyes. “I was fine by then,” he said.
“Were you?”
“Does he know society will never accept us if we were in a relationship?”
Hermione laughed, but not unkindly. “Oh, Draco,” she said when she stopped. “When has Harry ever cared about that?”
——
A week went by with only a note from Harry apologising for his behaviour. Then another week went by, and Draco assumed things were back to normal: Potter had his own life, and Draco had his life, and they were meant to be separate.
“That’s a tiny owl!” the man Draco was currently helping said.
The owl chirped and Draco sighed. “Her name is Ms Pants,” he told the man.
“Is she wearing a papoose?”
“Quite possibly.”
Ms Pants flew to Draco and landed on his shoulder. He winced when her talons dug into the muscle. “Thank you,” he told her in a strained voice.
“I’m fine if you need to answer a letter,” the customer said.
“I can—”
“No,” the man waved him off. “Go ahead, I’ll keep browsing.”
Draco nodded at him. “I appreciate it.”
Pointing to the shop’s counter, he told Ms Pants, “I will meet you there.” She flew off, and Draco rubbed at the small puncture wounds she had given him. “Bloody Weasley owl,” he complained.
When he reached the counter, Ms Pants was walking around, looking at everything.
“Do you have a letter from the ginger git?” he asked her. Her head swivelled to him, and she chirped again.
Draco reached out to take the rolled parchment out of the papoose. He was pleased to see it was Hermione’s handwriting.
“Ah, not the git,” he told Ms Pants.
“Draco,” Hermione’s note said. “We would like to invite you to the May Day celebration at Teddy’s primary school this Monday. I’m assuming C’est Vin will be closed as it's a bank holiday. Teddy and Andromeda will be there, as well as Ron, Harry, and I. It will be mostly Muggles, so please plan on arriving by non-magical means.”
She signed it ‘Hermione’. Under her name, in messier than usual writing, Hermione wrote, “I don’t want to lose your friendship, and neither does Harry. But if it’s too much, I understand.”
“How am I supposed to say no to that,” Draco told Ms Pants. “She’s giving me an out that I don’t deserve.”
Ms Pants chirped at him and bumped her head against Draco’s hand.
“Yeah,” he told her. “You’re right. I’ll go.”
——
Monday morning found Draco regretting all of his life choices. It was an extra day off, a day he could spend doing anything he wanted, and he was going to see Potter for the first time since they’d kissed.
“Why?” he asked himself. “How is this a good idea?” He pulled his sheets up over his face. “This is so stupid,” he complained. “I can go and be friendly. I make small talk for a living. I can chat with the bloke I’ve been in love with for years and not make a fool of myself.”
After a minute of self-pity, Draco uncovered his face.
“Sasha, darling!” he shouted. “I’m a fucking muppet! I need help reevaluating my life.”
Sasha hooted at him but didn’t come into his room.
“Fine!” he said. “If you won’t comfort me then I’ll come to you.”
Draco grabbed his winter dressing gown, because it was May, but it was still cold in the mornings. He walked to Sasha’s perch and was astounded to see a box of scones and a takeaway cup of coffee on his table.
“Where did these come from?” he asked her.
She fluffed her wings and looked directly at a scone.
“You’re not supposed to have too much sugar,” he told her, then gave her the scone she was looking at. “Don’t tell Wealsey that I’m spoiling you.”
She ignored him, focussing on eating.
Draco sat down and helped himself to the chocolate chip scone that was on top of the pile.
He and Sasha ate their breakfast in silence. When he’d finally finished two scones and his coffee, he cast Tempus and swore.
“I’m supposed to meet Hermione in an hour,” he told Sasha. “I’m going to see your former human and the disaster man who kissed me.”
Sasha hooted at him.
“Yes, yes,” he told her, getting up. “You’re right. We’re both adults. We can coexist.”
Draco Vanished the rubbish and put the leftover scones away. Sasha had flown back to her perch and was nodding off.
“I can do this, right?” he asked her.
She opened one eye and hooted softly then closed her eye.
“Thanks,” he told her and ran to take a shower.
——
“It’s good to see you,” Andromeda told Draco when he arrived.
“You too,” he told her softly. “And Teddy.”
Andromeda laughed. “He’s off with his school friends,” she said. “I’m sure he’ll check in with you at some point.”
Draco let out a little laugh.
“Hermione, Ron, and Harry are watching the Morris dancers.”
“Thanks, Andromeda,” he told her, then went to find Hermione and the others.
They were easy to find, and Hermione greeted him warmly. Ron glared a bit, and Harry’s face got red.
“Alright, Draco?” he said.
Draco looked at him for a moment, nodded, then turned to Hermione. “Thanks for the invite,” he told her.
“It’s our pleasure,” she told him.
“We’re glad you came,” Harry said. He smiled at Draco, small and sad.
Draco cleared his throat. “Of course.”
“It’s a beautiful day,” Weasley said, loud and awkward. “Let’s walk around.”
Hermione grabbed Draco’s arm, pulling him in front of Harry and Weasley.
“Harry really is sorry,” she murmured. “He hates that he upset you.”
“He’s going to regret everything when he gets his memories back.”
With a sad look, Hermione squeezed Draco’s arm. “You know that’s not true,” she said.
“I’m not going to argue about it today,” Draco replied. “I refuse to be sad today.”
Hermione bumped her shoulder into Draco’s. She pulled him to a stall that had an assortment of locally made jams and compotes. “Bill and Fleur’s anniversary is coming up. These would be perfect for the hamper I’m putting together for them.”
She went to speak to the woman running the stall, leaving Draco with Weasley and Harry.
“What do you think of the Cannon’s chances of going to the finals?” Weasley asked Draco.
“Probably about as good as they’ve always been,” Draco said with a sigh. Harry coughed but it sounded suspiciously like laughter.
“Ron!” Hermione called. “Do you think Bill would like this strawberry jam or this mango compote more?”
Weasley smiled tenderly at Hermione. “She’s a brilliant gift giver, but she second-guesses herself too much.” He walked over to Hermione, leaving Draco and Harry alone.
“I’m glad you came,” Harry said.
Draco looked at him, at his earnest expression, and fell even more in love with him.
“I’m glad too,” he said. “How long will they be?” he asked, pointing at Hermione and Weasley.
“If they’re shopping for Fleur, it could be a while. She has allergies,” Harry explained.
“Want to walk around?”
Harry nodded. “Let me go tell them we’re going somewhere else."
Draco watched as Harry talked to his best friends. Hermione gave him a hug, and Ron patted him on the shoulder. Draco thought they were being a bit dramatic; it wasn't as if they wouldn’t see Harry in the next hour.
When Harry came back he looked a bit sheepish. “They’re ridiculous,” he said, waving his hands at his friends.
“They care about you,” Draco said.
“They care about you, too.”
Draco felt his face flush and turned around so Harry couldn’t see. “What shall we do first?”
Harry barked out a laugh and Draco turned to look.
“We could go get our faces painted like PC Spider-man,” he said pointing at a police constable who had red and black all over his face.
“I don’t know what that means,” Draco admitted.
“It’s a Muggle thing,” Harry said. “Teddy can tell you all about it. Spider-man is his favourite superhero.”
With a laugh, Draco said, “I don’t know what any of that means either.” Harry laughed too. Draco had to take a step back. The fondness on his face was too much to bear.
“We can go watch the May Pole,” Draco suggested.
“Oh, they did that first-thing,” Harry said. He looked around the grounds. “There’s a White Elephant stall and someone selling flower crowns.”
“We can sort through other people’s junk,” Draco suggested. “And how did you know what it’s called?”
Harry shrugged. “It just seemed right,” he said.
“Are you getting your memories back?”
Draco watched Harry frown as he thought.
“I don’t think so,” Harry said, finally. “I don’t remember anything before the accident.”
“You know, I still don’t know what happened,” Draco told him.
Harry sighed as they both started walking towards the White Elephant stall. “It’s daft, really,” he said. “Hermione said I was at the Auror’s office—”
“You’re not an Auror, though. You run a bloody charity for LGBTQ youth!” Draco interrupted.
“I’m aware,” Harry said with a smirk. “I'm also tickled that you know about The Wix Rainbow Collective." His face got more serious. "Apparently they had someone who needed a second opinion on an object that was owned by Voldemort.”
“That’s bullshit!” Draco said, loudly, wincing when he was shushed by a woman with small children. “You know that’s bullshit,” he continued, softer. “You’ve given too much already.”
“Apparently Ron and Hermione told me the same thing,” Harry said wryly as they walked into the stall. “But I went anyway. And I got in the way of an unknown curse cast by someone they had just arrested. Hermione and the Curse-Breakers have spent months trying to figure out what it was. They cast a counter-curse on me a week ago, but so far nothing has happened.”
At Draco’s frown, Harry said, “It’s going to work. Someone very wise told me I could trust in Hermione.”
Draco pretended to look at a badly chipped tureen that was on a table in the stall. “That person is right,” he said. “Even if he’s not very wise.”
Harry didn’t answer, but he smiled at Draco when Draco finally looked up.
Putting the tureen down, Draco went to look at the shelves of used books.
Harry was busy examining a sheaf of dried barley so Draco took another minute to look at him. He was wearing a loud paisley button up and a golden scarf. It shouldn’t have matched, the print was far too busy, but Draco thought he’d never looked more beautiful.
“This looks like your hair!” Harry said, looking up from the decoration. “You'll remember me when the west wind moves, upon the fields of barley,” he said, making Draco frown.
“Are you feeling alright?” Draco asked. Harry nodded.
“You can tell the sun in his jealous sky, when we walked in fields of gold,” he half-sang. Then he shook his head and laughed a little. “I don’t know where that came from,” he confessed.
“My hair isn’t yellow,” Draco said, trying to break the mood.
“It’s like spun gold,” Harry said. Then he shook his head. “Sorry,” he said, "didn't mean to make it weird.”
But Draco watched as he bought the sheaf of barley.
“Are you going to carry that around all day?” he asked Harry.
Harry laughed. “I thought I would spell it small and stick it in my pocket.”
Draco laughed at the sheepish look on his face. “I’ll make sure no one can see you use magic.”
“Thanks.”
They made their way to the side of a stall. Harry hunched over to keep out prying eyes and turned towards the wall. Draco stood between Harry and anyone who might be walking by. Harry whispered something then straightened up.
"Right," he said, slipping his wand and the small bundle into his pocket, "let's go get flower crowns."
——
Draco picked a purple crown and the man running the stall insisted on making an identical one for Harry.
"It just looks so nice on you, and your boyfriend needs to match," he said.
"Oh, he's not my boyfriend," Harry said. "He's out of my league."
Draco rolled his eyes, found his Muggle money, and paid the man. "Thank you," he told him. "Ignore my friend, he's got amnesia."
Harry gave the seller an exaggerated wink when he stared at Harry for too long.
"Ha, lad," he said, looking at Draco. "You almost got me."
Draco grabbed Harry’s arm and pulled him out of the stall. "You can't say that," he said. "It's not fair."
Harry frowned. "Fair?"
Draco kept leading him until they were alone, away from the hustle and bustle of the crowd.
"You have to know how I feel about you."
"You said we can’t be friends," Harry said softly.
"Of course I want to be friends!" Draco said, louder than he meant. "You're not in your right mind, and I've been in love with you since—"
He cut himself off, his hand slapping over his mouth to stop the barrage of feelings about to escape.
"Draco…" Harry said. "I didn't—"
Harry's eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he collapsed to the ground. Draco dropped to his knees, gasping at the impact.
"Harry," he whispered. "Harry!"
Draco reached out to try and shake Harry awake when Harry's eyes opened. Tears started to fall down Harry's, but he was smiling.
"Draco," he said. "Why didn't you tell me you got turned into a ferret?"
"What?" Draco didn't understand what was happening.
"And why didn't you tell me about the 'Potter Stinks' badges?" Harry laughed. "How could you think I would hate you?" He scrubbed his face clean with the sleeve of his shirt.
"Do you…" Draco started.
"I remember everything," Harry confirmed. "And I still want to kiss you."
Draco let out a little sob. "But you—"
"I haven't hated you since Hogwarts, and, even then, I didn't truly hate you," Harry said, getting to his knees.
He pulled Draco close, his hands gentle on Draco's hips. "Is this OK?" he asked seriously.
Draco nodded and reached up to cup Harry’s cheek.
"As long as you're—"
Harry cut him off with a kiss.
Unlike their first kiss, there was no hesitation, no awkwardness, just Harry's hot mouth on his. Draco nipped at his lower lip and groaned when Harry opened his mouth. He licked into Harry’s mouth and shivered when Harry rubbed his tongue against his own.
"This is a family event!" Weasley’s shouting brought Draco crashing back to earth.
Harry pulled back and leaned so his face was hidden in Draco's shoulder.
"Ron, leave us alone," he grumbled into Draco’s shirt. "Or I'm telling your mother about that time in fifth-year—"
"Did your memories come back?" Hermione interrupted as Wealsey sputtered. "I knew it would work," she said smugly. She looked at Harry and Draco, still both knelt on the grass. "Ron's right, though. You really can't snog in the middle of Teddy’s school's grounds."
"You have the rudest friends," Draco complained.
Harry laughed, his breath tickling Draco. Draco poked at his ribs, trying to get him to look up.
"Tell them we were having a moment," he whinged.
"Ron," Harry said, moving his head and sitting back on the ground, "Hermione."
Draco copied Harry and lowered himself to sitting. Harry grabbed his hand and Draco felt himself blush.
"We were having a moment," Harry said, squeezing Draco's hand. "I was about to ask Draco out on a date."
"You were?" Draco asked with a gasp.
"Hermione, do you think you can curse me so I don't remember anything?" Ron asked.
"Oh, Ron, don't be so dramatic," Hermione said fondly.
Draco lifted Harry's hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. "I would love to go on a date with you," he said. "Now that you know what you're getting into."
Harry reached over and gently turned Draco’s head so they were looking at each other again. "I always knew what I was getting into with you, you posh knob." He gentled his words with a sweet kiss.
"Family event!" Weasley exclaimed.
Draco kept kissing Harry.