Chapter Text
“One Pudding Pom and a Midnight Oil Americano!”
“Got it.”
The smell of Himeko’s deadly coffee beans wafted around him, as his hands moved through muscle memory. The repetitive motions of his days at Astral Express café were the best medicine to soothe the unease he felt after that confrontation with Dan Feng’s past a while back.
“Here, March.”
“Thanks, Dan Heng! I’ll go take this to Serval’s table, then I’ll take my break. You can solo for a bit until Himeko comes right?”
Dan Heng just grunted in response, turning back to wipe down the counter. As he mindlessly wiped the towel back and forth, he vaguely registered Himeko’s classy string quartet radio get switched to some generic bubbly pop song. March had definitely entered the back rooms, unfortunately. He was sure this ear-worm of a song would haunt his nightmares for weeks.
Like Pavlov’s dog, when the small bunny chime Caelus had hung on the door let out a gentle ring, he began his monotonous line before he had even turned halfway to face the front.
“Welcome to the Astral Express, how may I help you today…Jing Yuan?”
Jing Yuan had frozen in his steps just like him, eyes wide.
“Dan Heng? You…work here?”
Dan Heng held his head in his hands, too fed up for manners for once. “Yes…” he groaned, “…unfortunately.”
It was just his luck that the same man he wished to avoid would end up his customer a little over a week after their last, horribly awkward confrontation.
Jing Yuan shrugged off the impolite attitude with a laugh. “Careful, Dan Heng. If you say that I might start believing you dislike me.”
Dan Heng raised his head to glare at him. “I don’t know how else to say this, so I’ll just repeat myself. If you want to talk to Dan Feng just do it yourself. You don’t have to play nice with me.”
“Ah, Dan Heng,” Jing Yuan shook his head and sighed amusedly, “still the Cold Dragon Young of our youth. Were we not friends in the past too?”
Dan Heng refused to answer that. “…What would you like to order?”
Jing Yuan stared at him for a bit, then shook his head again. That inane smile was still plastered on his face. It made some small part of Dan Heng want to squirm, or maybe hit something.
“Hmm…very well. I’ll have an Immortal’s Delight, with extra pearls and an additional pump of brown sugar syrup please.”
Now it was Dan Heng’s turn to stare in disbelief.
“You…with extra brown sugar too…?”
He knew Jing Yuan had a sweet tooth as a child, but this was…
“Hm?” Jing Yuan did that ridiculous puppy dog face, tilting his head to the side and scrunching his brows in confusion. Dan Heng recalled him wielding that look against his seniors and teachers alike during school, but it looked ridiculous on such a tall and buff adult man now.
But it was enough to make him falter.
“…Nevermind. That will be 4000 credits. Here’s your order number, it will be handed to you shortly, please wait at a table.”
“Hmm, thank you, Dan Heng.”
Dan Heng deliberately avoided looking towards the direction Jing Yuan ambled off to, as he worked to make that awfully sugary drink.
“This is fine. Just make his order and ignore him,” he thought desperately. “Drink, hand over, then just walk away. Drink, Hand, Walk away.”
He forced his hands to steady as he walked to where Jing Yuan had sat near the sunny window.
“Hand it over, then just walk away.”
Jing Yuan turned away from the window to smile broadly at him when he placed down the drink. “Ah, Dan Heng, thank you. Do you have time to sit with me for a while, either now or later?”
“Just walk away,” Dan Heng screamed at himself, internally. But the moment he found himself glancing towards the empty front counters, he knew he had betrayed himself.
“…Fine. For a second or two,” he reluctantly muttered, sitting down across from the other man.
“There’s only Serval, who’s in her own world right now. It’s fine for just a second right?” he justified to himself. It rankled that no matter which way he chose, he still felt like he had lost.
He could have sworn Jing Yuan’s smile was tinged with smugness, as if he knew he had just won whatever internal battle Dan Heng had experienced in his own head.
“So,” Jing Yuan began, in between sips of his drink. “How have you been? I see you’re working at this lovely establishment now?”
Dan Heng fidgeted with his coat sleeves, replying, “Yeah. Himeko, the owner, hired me to manage the bookstore upstairs with Mr. Yang, but I got roped into helping down here half the time too.”
“Hmm…that’s nice. I’m glad you get to work with books. Do you enjoy it here?”
His drink was half empty already.
“Yeah…it’s nice…they’re nice. You…Do you…drink like that…often?”
Jing Yuan took another long gulp of his drink, before grinning. “Oh? Worried for me, Dan Heng?”
“No,” Dan Heng flustered, “just frightened by your drink order.”
Jing Yuan laughed brightly, the sound bouncing around the quiet café. It briefly threw Dan Heng back to the old days, when it was a shady tree and a table instead of a café.
“Ah, Dan Heng. Well, the Cloud Knights’ physicians used to watch over my diet, but now that I’m retired from the front lines, I figured I might as well take advantage right?” Jing Yuan chuckled.
Dan Heng grimaced openly. “Even so…” he paused, taking in what was just said. “Wait, you retired?”
Jing Yuan’s eyes dimmed, even as his smile remained. “Ah…yes. I took a heavy injury during the last battle against Lord Ravager Phantylia, and was discharged honorably. I am now relegated to behind-the-scenes strategy and paperwork.”
“Oh…Sorry…” Dan Heng winced. This was precisely why he should have walked away. He was never the one who knew what was adequate to say in social situations.
Luckily, his conversation partner was someone who could do the heavy lifting.
“Ah, bygones, bygones. I actually quite enjoy my new position, let’s me relax a lot more!” Jing Yuan waved off. “But such melancholic things wasn’t why I wished to speak to you. I wanted to ask for your phone number, or maybe some other way to keep in touch. Perhaps we could see each other a bit more in the future?”
Their conversation felt like a swerving starskiff, and the latest turn just tossed Dan Heng straight into icy waters.
Dan Heng immediately shook his head. “No. Whatever hang-ups you have about the past, I have nothing to do with it.”
With that said, he stood up to leave. He had wasted enough time sitting with Jing Yuan. He should have returned to the counter from the start.
His shuffling out of his seat was interrupted by the crisp thunk of Jing Yuan setting his cup down. The drink was now empty. Jing Yuan’s face was solemn.
“Dan Heng,” Jing Yuan began, “Is it so bad to want to catch up with an old friend? And I do mean you, specifically.”
Dan Heng hadn’t noticed Jing Yuan had been clutching his drink cup the entire time, until he let go to cup his chin. Jing Yuan continued, simpering, “I’ve just moved here, and haven’t met any new acquaintances yet…so it’s a bit lonely…”
“…” Dan Heng felt another part of his soul wither away in shame. He really was losing a lot today. “There’s no need for such blatant guilt-tripping. But fine,” he found his hand moving to accept Jing Yuan’s phone despite himself. “But if you bring up my brother I’m cutting it off immediately.”
Jing Yuan’s smile was back on his lips by the time Dan Heng returned his phone, number and all. “Ah, wonderful. Thank you for agreeing, Dan Heng. You know, in the past years, I really did miss –”
He was cut off by the buzzing of his ringtone, leaving Dan Heng bereft, standing beside the table.
“Missed? Missed what?” he thought, as he blankly watched Jing Yuan answer the phone.
“-Fine, fine. Give me a couple minutes. Mhm. Bye then.” Jing Yuan sighed as he put away his phone, standing up as well. “I’m afraid my sister has summoned me. I’ll have to speak more with you next time we meet.”
“Jingliu?”
Dan Heng stammered through their farewells, still standing by the window table as he watched Jing Yuan stride out the café. He must have collected the empty cup and stumbled back to the front counters, but he couldn’t recall. His mind was still stuck on that phone call, as well as the bizarre feeling of still being the one left behind, despite wanting to leave first. The emotions rankled him.
He was cut from his wandering thoughts by Himeko’s teasing voice asking, “A friend? I’ve never seen you give your number before, Dan Heng.”
He flinched, whirling around to see Himeko smirking at him from the register.
“…No.” he mumbled. Even he didn’t think it sounded convincing.
Evidently, Himeko also agreed, as she questioned, “Really? It’s rare for you to speak to strangers.”
“….He’s an ex-classmate from high school.”
He quickly turned back to wiping down the espresso machine to avoid Himeko’s knowing gaze. Luckily she wasn’t one to push matters too far, unlike most of their crew.
For the rest of his shift, Dan Heng buried all thoughts of Jing Yuan as much as he could. But when he got back home that evening, bundled in his futon in their empty apartment, he couldn’t stop his memories of the past.
There was one time, after the big breakup, where he heard something new about Jing Yuan. It wasn’t directly from Dan Feng’s mouth, but he had overheard his brother’s conversation.
The two of them had been eating dinner together, as they always did. Dan Feng’s phone had been buzzing incessantly throughout the meal, until he finally grew annoyed enough to pick it up in a huff.
“What is it, Jing Liu?” his brother had snapped, standing up from their small dining table.
There dorm room was too small for any real privacy, so he had been forced to eavesdrop, even though Dan Feng clearly did not care.
Jing Liu’s cold voice was loud enough to be heard even without being put on speakerphone.
“Baiheng let it slip. Now Jing Yuan is crying in his room,” she snapped.
Dan Feng was calm as he hummed, “Oh? Well he’s certainly not the type.”
“Yes, so explain yourself, bastard. Have you been cheating on my brother?”
Jing Liu’s voice trembled with barely concealed fury. Dan Heng felt a shiver slide down his back upon hearing her speak like that. He snuck a glance at his brother’s face, to see if he was the only one terrified of that woman, but Dan Feng only had a mildly disappointed frown on his face.
“…Jing Liu,” Dan Feng replied, “Do you truly think so little of me?”
Jing Liu’s patience clearly broke, as she yelled, “How am I supposed to know, when my little brother was acting normal all this time, before we suddenly find out you’re dating Ren, through a post online, nonetheless, and the next thing I know, A-Yuan has locked himself in his room for two days?!”
Dan Heng whipped his head down to stare at his bowl, heart pounding, feeling distinctly awkward.
“Jing Yuan and I broke up three months ago, Jing Liu. Before his graduation.”
The call fell silent after Dan Feng’s reply. Eventually, Jing Liu clucked her tongue. Her muttering was almost too quiet for Dan Heng to catch.
“Tsk. That brat, how dare he lie to me?”
The dial tone filled the dorm room as she abruptly ended the call. Dan Feng stayed where he was, absorbing in the sound of the dial tone for a moment too long, before tossing his phone onto his bed, and cheerfully returning to dinner.
His brother did not speak to him about that phone call, ever. Even if he clearly stopped mentioning Jing Liu afterwards, even when Dan Feng still met up with Baiheng, who was quite literally married to the other woman.
After dinner that night, Dan Heng had laid in his bunk bed, briefly entertaining the thought of texting Jing Yuan’s old number to ask if he was doing alright. But this entire situation had nothing to do with him, these people all had nothing to do with him, so he ultimately decided against it.
Before drifting off to sleep in the present, Dan Heng’s thoughts fluttered towards that dinner again. At the fringes of dreamland, he wondered what would have happened if he had taken the initiative that night, if he had actually texted Jing Yuan. He wondered…
Dan Heng fell into an unsettled sleep.