Chapter Text
The morning sunlight filtered through the small window, gently rousing Merlin from his slumber. Blinking away the remnants of sleep, he found himself alone in his room, confusion clouding his thoughts. The events of the previous day seemed fuzzy to him, like a dream slipping away from his grasp. As the haze lifted, he realized that he felt significantly better than he had in days.
Pushing back the covers, Merlin swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up, not even noticing the missing weight of the gift around his neck. He made his way down to the main quarters, where the physician looked up from his work upon hearing the creaking of the stairs, surprise evident in his eyes.
"Merlin! You're up! How are you feeling?" Gaius inquired, concern etched on his face as he stood up and hurried over to his ward.
A soft smile graced Merlin's lips as he replied to the concern, "Better, much better, actually." The realization that the heavy cloak of illness had lifted filled him with relief.
“You should eat, you’ve been out for just about two days.” Gaius instructed.
“Two days?! W-what happened?” Merlin asked horrified.
“Well, you did briefly wake up last night, it’s why she chose today to send the breakfast.” Gaius mused, ignoring the question.
“Gaius.”
Gaius sighed, ”I’ll tell you, but after breakfast.” He stepped back so that Merlin could see the meal left for him.
Merlin's eyes widened in bewilderment as he surveyed the array of dishes. The generous gesture struck him as both unexpected and heartwarming. He stared back at Gaius, his face revealing a cascade of questions.
In response to Merlin’s baffled expression, Gaius gestured to the table, leading him over before gently making him sit down. "Morgana thought you deserved a special meal. So she had this sent down for you."
"What's all this even for?" Merlin asked, curiosity lacing his words as he stared dumbly at the food as if it were forbidden to touch.
Gaius chuckled, "It seems Morgana wanted to make up for not celebrating your birthday. She had this breakfast sent down for you. The flowers, of course, are from Guinevere.” At the mention of the flowers, Merlin noticed a lovely bouquet in a glass vase, blues and yellows standing vibrant amongst the green leaves.
“I was also instructed to inform you that Arthur has given you the next two days off."
The revelations only deepened Merlin's sense of shock, leaving him torn between gratitude and suspicion. Little by little the memories from before the possession came back to him, and guilt replaced gratitude when he remembered the harsh words he said to his friends.
“I… Never meant to make them feel bad, of that they had to do all this.” Merlin mumbled guiltily as he looked down. He startled when he felt a hand on his shoulder, prompting him to look up to Gaius.
The wrinkles on the old man's face seemed to soften as a gentle smile played upon his lips. He peered down at Merlin with a knowing twinkle in his eyes.
"This was their choice, Merlin," Gaius spoke, his voice carrying the wisdom of countless experiences. "They might have felt a twinge of guilt at first, but they did not do this because of that. They did so because they are your friends. It was their sincere desire to do something special for you."
As Gaius spoke, he gestured towards the breakfast that Morgana had arranged for Merlin. The aroma of the freshly prepared food lingered in the air, enticing the young servant to eat.
Merlin, still processing the warmth of the unexpected gesture, couldn't help but feel a swell of gratitude. He pondered the significance of the relationships he had cultivated—the friends who had become a second family to him in Camelot.
He deeply missed his mother, but…maybe… he wasn’t as alone as he had thought. Maybe he didn’t need the same treatment he received back in Elador, just knowing he had friends now, friends who truly cared… Maybe it could be enough.
The revelation deepened Merlin's sense of gratitude.
“Will you eat with me, Gaius? And maybe you could tell me everything that happened, because the last thing I remember was going off on Arthur and Morgana, feeling like hell, then everything gets fuzzy.” He asked hopefully, getting the feeling he could not eat it all alone and he did want to hear everything.
With a nod of appreciation from the gesture, Gaius accepted. They dove into the sumptuous meal. Merlin savored each bite while contemplating the unexpected kindness bestowed upon him. Gaius told him everything and Merlin felt betrayed, but it made sense in a way. While he was not one to reject comfort and such, he wasn’t usually dependent on them as he had been the last few days. Though, he did understand to an extent that her actions were not born from malice or ill intent, only a desperation. It made his heart ach, scared to know what became her.
He felt immensely relieved to hear Eleanor was still alive and spared from harm thanks to Arthur’s mercy. While he could not forgive the betrayal, he did not want her to be punished so harshly. Not for his sake.
As he finished his breakfast, his heart swelled with warmth. He needed to find and thank them.
“I have to go, Gaius,” He said as he stood up, preparing to clean away the dishes.
Gaius stopped him with a smile,” Go ahead, my boy. I’ve got this.”
“Are you sure? It’s no problem, I can clean up first, after all I did let you down with my chores…” Merlin felt a wave of guilt wash over him, realizing Gaius would have had to do all that work on his own because of him.
Gaius gave a gentle smile,” Go on, it could not be helped. Besides, Guinevere aided me with the chores, so it is alright.” He began to clean up the dishes.
Merlin, still hesitant to leave, nodded before hugging Gaius firmly, halting his work,” Thank you, Gaius…” He was a bit surprised when the old man turned around when Merlin let go and returned the hug right away.
“I know this old man may not show it well, but I care for you so much, my boy.” Gaius assured, causing tears to glisten in Merlin’s eyes. “You have become like a son to me, and I am sorry if I ever made you feel unwanted or unappreciated.”
Merlin, his heart warmed by Gaius's comforting words, left the physician's chambers with a newfound appreciation for the friendships that surrounded him in Camelot. His steps carried him through the castle corridors until he encountered Gwen, whose genuine concern for his well-being was evident in her eyes.
Gwen's features softened with relief when she saw Merlin. "Merlin, you look much better. We were all so worried about you."
With a grin that held both gratitude and reassurance, Merlin replied, "I'm fine now, Gwen, thanks to all of you. I don’t remember everything, but I know I didn’t treat Arthur and Morgana the best.”
Gwen smiled softly,” They forgive you, Merlin. Besides, it wasn’t your fault, not really. Just try to rest up, okay? I heard from Morgana that Arthur gave you some time off,” She winked.
Merlin blushed slightly,” He did, but I’d really rather just get back to work. I don’t even know what I’d do with it.” He admitted, though a brief flash of Eleanor crossed his mind.
Gwen chuckled with fondness at her friend’s usual responses,” How about take a break, go visit your mother- I’m sure Arthur would be more than willing to extend your leave.” She offered. Merlin pursed his lips at the suggestion.
It honestly…sounded good to him. Regardless of how he felt in the moment, Hunith was still his mother and he did miss her. It would be nice to visit.
“You know what, I just might have to do that.” He smiled gratefully,” Oh, before I forget,” He changed the subject with ease,” Thank you for the flowers.” He gave her a brief hug and she giggled.
“You are very welcome, Merlin. Next year we will have to celebrate your birthday on your birthday. And now that I know when it is, do not think I will forget it.”
Merlin blushed brightly,” I-It’s really not necessary, Gwen.”
“Necessary or not, it is happening. You’re my friend, Merlin. And I want to celebrate my friend’s birthday with him.”
Merlin relented, knowing he would not change her mind. He gave a gentle smile,” Thank you… I should go, can you tell Morgana I said thanks for the breakfast?”
“Of course I can. Going to go see Arthur?”
Merlin nodded in response,” Yeah. Day off or not, he’s not going to escape having to deal with me.” His smile turned mischievous, causing the maidservant to laugh.
“You two,” She sighed,” I’ll see you later then,”
“See you, Gwen!” He replied before hurrying off down the hall.
---
Merlin stood outside Arthur's chambers, a mixture of anxiety and guilt knotting in his stomach. The memory of their last conversation lingered, casting a shadow over the happiness he had felt moments before. He hesitated, his hand hovering over the door, reluctant to face Arthur after the cruel things he’d said to the prince.
His mind replayed the words, the frustration, and the hurt he had felt, remembering them vividly now. He wondered if Arthur's gesture was a genuine attempt to show he cared or simply a way to alleviate his own guilt. Or worse, what if it was a way to keep Merlin out of sight longer?! Regardless of the answer, he knew putting this off would only further increase his nervousness.
Taking a deep breath, Merlin pushed open the door, his gaze falling upon the familiar surroundings of Arthur's chambers.
Merlin entered the room to find the prince sitting by the window, his gaze fixed on something outside. The distant look in Arthur's eyes hinted at a mind preoccupied with thoughts that Merlin couldn't immediately discern. The room felt still, the air heavy with silence as Arthur did not seem to notice or acknowledge his arrival.
"Arthur," Merlin spoke, his voice breaking the silence. The prince turned to face him, his expression turned to surprise. "I heard you gave me some time off. And Morgana gave me this... feast. What's all this about? Has someone enchanted you?" He gave a semi-forced chuckle at his weak attempt to spark their usual banter.
Arthur sat stunned for a long moment before giving him a closed eyed smile. He opened his eyes and looked back at Merlin with emotion Merlin could not discern, but it was intense. ”I could always change my mind, you know. You’ve already had more days off than any other servant this week alone.” He joked, though he kept his face straight,” Besides, you hardly work as is, I can’t for the life of me understand why you would need a day off.” He finally grinned when Merlin scoffed and rolled his eyes, moving away from the window to stand by Merlin.
“I do more work than some spoiled prats around here,” He countered with a huff.
“It’s good to have you back.” Arthur said sincerely, placing a reassuring hand on Merlin's shoulder.
Momentarily stunned, Merlin stared back before giving a small smile,” It’s good to be back.” His smile fell when he remembered why he’d come. “Look, Arthur, I just…I wanted to say I’m sorry. You know, for what I said when you and Morgana-”
Arthur silenced Merlin with a raised hand,” You don’t have anything to apologize for, Merlin. It wasn’t you, not really.” He said.
“But it was. To an extent at least… Those feelings, they were mine, but I swear, I never wanted you to feel guilty nor did I wish to hurt you.”
“It’s all forgiven, Merlin. If you could forgive me as well… I… almost didn’t help you,” He admitted, looking down in shame,” I was so angry, even when Gaius told me Eleanor was doing something to you, I…I almost didn’t care.”
Merlin pursed his lips firmly. It did hurt a little, knowing Arthur almost let him be taken over. “But you didn’t. You still came for me, even though you were hurt. Thank you, Arthur. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be here. So… can we just put all of this behind us?”
It shouldn't have surprised Arthur how forgiving Merlin was, but it did, and he couldn't help but feel lucky. He nodded in response before returning to his spot by the window. As Merlin approached, Arthur felt a nudge of guilt for keeping something from him.
"What are you looking at?" Merlin asked, noticing Arthur's gaze outside.
Arthur sighed. "Eleanor," he replied, his tone carrying a tinge of regret. "She's leaving Camelot." Merlin's eyes widened, and he hurried to the window just in time to catch a glimpse of Eleanor making her way towards the city gates.
Merlin's expression twisted as his eyes fixed on Eleanor's retreating figure, his heart heavy with a mix of emotions. "Why is she leaving? Did you... did you banish her?" he asked, concern etched across his face.
Arthur hesitated for a moment, seemingly unsure how to answer. "I will admit I had considered it after the first day when you didn’t wake."
Arthur shook his head. "But, no, Merlin. She made that choice on her own. I didn't force her to leave." He glanced at Merlin, a hint of surprise in his eyes. "After everything she did to you, I'm surprised you still care for her."
Merlin sighed, his gaze still on Eleanor. "She may have made mistakes, but I believe people can change. Besides, she's hurting, and has been for a long time. I know that much was true. We all do things we aren’t proud of, and I think…deep down I knew she was planning something, I guess I had just hoped maybe… But regardless, while I can’t ignore what she has done, I do forgive her.”
Arthur couldn't help but feel a twinge of admiration for Merlin's capacity for forgiveness, even when faced with those who had wronged him.
Arthur's gaze followed Merlin as he stared after Eleanor. He could sense the conflict within his friend, torn between staying and going after her. After a moment of silence, Arthur sighed, his tone softer than usual.
"Go, Merlin.”
He shook his head when Merlin gave him a dumbfounded look. “You really are a wonder, … Hurry up. You could likely still catch her before she leaves the city.” He offered. He knew Eleanor wanted to leave before Merlin woke, but he knew Merlin deserved a proper farewell.
Merlin’s face lit up at this,” Thank you, Arthur!”
Before Merlin could leave, Arthur reached for a small wooden box on a nearby table. He handed it to Merlin. "Give her this."
Merlin looked down at the box, curiosity evident in his expression. "What is it?"
Arthur shrugged, a slight smile playing on his lips. "Just... something. I was going to give it to her, but I think it would mean more coming from you."
Merlin frowned in confusion, opening the box slightly to look inside. What he saw made him smile. He closed it back, wanting to keep it safe.
With that, Merlin hurried out of Arthur's chambers, clutching the box tightly in his hand. He made his way through the corridors and towards the city gates, hoping to catch up with Eleanor before she left Camelot.
It was nothing short of a miracle, aided by a stroke of luck and the fact that Eleanor had made a couple of stops for supplies along the way. Merlin managed to catch up with her just before she reached the city gates. His breath was ragged from the rush, but his eyes sparkled with determination as he approached her.
"Eleanor," he called out breathlessly, his voice carrying a mixture of urgency and genuine sadness. She turned to face him, her expression a blend of surprise, resignation, and a touch of guilt.
"Merlin," she responded, acknowledging him with a nod and a small smile. "I didn't expect to see you… You look well, I’m glad."
Merlin took a moment to catch his breath, stealing glances at the supplies she carried. "I heard you were leaving… Arthur… He said he didn’t banish you, so why? You could stay, you don’t have to leave…" As he spoke he choked up, swallowing a lump in his throat.
Eleanor's smile held genuine affection as she still felt a maternal love for Merlin. Placing her supplies on the ground, she walked toward him, her expression a delicate mix of warmth and understanding. "Merlin," she began, her voice tender, "it's time for me to move on.”
Merlin, his eyes welling with unshed tears, pleaded with Eleanor, "Please, don't go. You don't have to be alone. Stay in Camelot… I don't want to lose you."
Eleanor cupped Merlin's cheek, her touch comforting. "Oh, my dear child," she whispered, "You will be alright, Merlin. You have friends here who seem to care deeply for you. I do not think you will feel so alone now.”
Merlin nodded, unable to find the words to reply with. His heart was heavy with unspoken emotions as he fought back tears. Eleanor embraced him in a warm hug, and in that moment, he found solace. He returned the embrace with shaking arms, almost desperate to not let her go. He swallowed his tears when she pulled away, and her eyes reflected both the sadness of parting and the love she held for him. "Take care, my dear Merlin," she whispered, her voice tinged with a gentle melancholy, "I know you will do great things.”
With those bittersweet words, Eleanor turned to go gather her supplies, only to be stopped by Merlin’s gentle grasp around her wrist. She turned to him, almost expecting an objection.
Tears burned Merlin’s eyes as he gave a watery smile,” Before you go, Arthur wanted me to give this to you.” He said as he pulled out the box Arthur had given him.
He offered it to her, watching with anticipation as she opened it. Inside, nestled in the velvet lining, lay the amulet she had gifted to Merlin. The very same that had been melted to an almost unrecognizable lump of metal. As her eyes fell upon the familiar heirloom, Eleanor's composure wavered, and tears welled up in her eyes.
The emotions held within the amulet resonated deeply with her, and a torrent of both grief and happiness surged through her. In that small, precious moment, the connection to her son, preserved within the amulet, bridged the gap between their worlds. Eleanor couldn't contain the overwhelming emotions that swept over her, and tears streamed down her cheeks as she clutched the amulet to her heart.
Merlin stood beside her and offered a silent presence of support. He was thankful to Arthur for doing this for her despite his feelings towards her. Merlin gently took the amulet from her trembling hands. With a tender and reassuring smile, he carefully placed the amulet around her neck, fastening the clasp. The cool metal rested against her skin, a tangible link to the past and a symbol of the enduring bond between a mother and her son.
Eleanor looked up through her tears, seeing Arthur standing a short ways from them. She offered a heartfelt nod.
“Thank you…” She whispered, unable to make any other words come out.
Arthur returned the gesture and offered a half smile,” Travel safe. You are always welcome here, should you ever desire to return.” He assured. His father might have choice words for his actions, but Arthur truly felt he had done the right thing. Regardless of the anger he had felt on Merlin’s behalf, he was able to see what Merlin did. And he was glad he did.
“Goodbye,” She smiled at both of them. With that she gathered her things, wiping the wetness from her face before turning and walking away.
Merlin couldn't tear his gaze away from Eleanor's vanishing form, a poignant mixture of sadness and happiness gripping his heart. Each step she took seemed to echo the rhythm of his conflicting emotions, a bittersweet dance that left him feeling strangely exposed.
The world around him blurred as he grappled with the finality of the moment. Just as he thought the weight of his emotions might crush him, Arthur's voice, steady and supportive, cut through the haze.
Merlin looked up, surprised to find that Arthur's gaze was soft, filled with sympathy. "I'm sorry, Merlin. It's never easy to say goodbye."
Merlin looked back to the gates and sighed, feeling a hand on his shoulder. "No, it's not. But she'll be fine. And I'll be alright."
As they stood there, a silent understanding passed between them, Merlin couldn't help but break the tension with a sly grin.
“I knew you cared about me, sire.”
The comment caused Arthur to blush. He scoffed before walking away, Merlin right on his heels,” Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin.”
“You were worried about me, and you gave me two days off. You care.” He beamed.
“It's not like I wanted to. Gaius practically forced me into it.” He lied unconvincingly,” And stop grinning like an idiot. It's not endearing."
Merlin laughed loudly,” Oh, I beg to differ. I think it's quite endearing that you can't admit you actually care about me."
Arthur huffed, the barest hint of a smile playing on his lips. "Careful, Merlin. One more word and I swear you will end up in the stocks.” He threatened.
“That’s alright, at least I will be able to tell everyone there that you’re a softie.”
“MERLIN!”
The familiar banter continued, drawing humored eyes towards the odd pair all the way back to the castle.