Chapter Text
When the party was finally over Stede helped Izzy to carry all his presents to his room.
Just as they reached the door, Stede smiled and leaned down to kiss him thoroughly and Izzy, who had been waiting the whole party to do just that, returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm.
Izzy was grateful to Stede for understanding he wasn’t ready to show affection in front of the crew, even though he was mostly sure they all already knew about them. Still, whenever he spent the night in the captain’s cabin Izzy kept going back to his room before dawn, but he wasn’t completely sure why he did it. To keep appearances in front of the crew? Or to keep pretending this was still a casual arrangement between two lonely men?
They eventually broke apart for air and then finally walked into Izzy’s room. Once inside Izzy truly noticed for the first time that the place was quite small, something that Stede had complained about many times before, but until then Izzy had always disregarded his comments without giving them much thought.
He had never needed much space since he had never owned many things that were important enough to be kept around. Actually, having his own room was a privilege that he had only earned after many years of fighting and surviving at the sea by Edward’s side and it was a luxury that not many had so it shouldn’t matter if it wasn’t too big, he thought.
Now, after taking a look around he felt the place was a bit… crowded. The problem was not only the presents he had got that day, it was the many things that had somehow made their way into his room in the last months.
There was a shaving kit on the table beside the basin, with a razor and brush that were ridiculously ornate, but the blade was good and it was something that Stede had proudly chosen for him from the spoils of their first successful raid so he had kept it. They were useful things after all.
Above these, on the wall there was a mirror, bigger than Izzy would need, but Wee John had given it to him with a wink and well, his mirror had already a crack on it so Izzy guessed there was no point in waiting until it would break completely and then rush to find a new one so he had accepted it with a nod.
On the shelf, aside from his usual tools for sharpening the blades and the ointments Roach had given him to help when his stump hurt, now there were a few books he had borrowed from Stede’s new and slowly growing library. He had said Izzy could pick any of them to read, even though he had insisted the lighting in Izzy’s room couldn’t be very good and that he was more than welcome to do some reading in the captain’s quarters any time he wanted. Izzy had eventually borrowed one or two, or well, maybe three or four, and somehow he had forgotten to give back some of them.
Pete had added some wooden hooks to the wall by the door where he could hang his clothes instead of dropping them on the only chair in the room every night, but the chair wasn’t empty either since there was a big spare blanket neatly folded on it because Stede had complained that Izzy only having a thin, old rag in his room was ridiculous and had given the first mate the softest blanket he had ever seen. It was usually there on the chair, because really Izzy was doing just fine with his old blanket, but occasionally, when Stede decided to stay the night, they would wrap themselves in it, mostly so neither of them would fall off the tiny bed during the night.
There were other things around, Izzy noticed, and there weren’t many places where he could put the presents so he simply let them drop unceremoniously on the bed, but Stede, who was carrying the sword still wrapped in the silk ribbon, stood in the middle of the room looking around with a frown.
“I thought you could hang the sword on your wall, but I don’t see where exactly,” he said. “This place is really cramped.”
So Stede had realized it was a decorative sword, Izzy thought with relief. The man was doing much better lately, but sometimes he still showed a shocking lack of skills for a pirate that Izzy thought was quite dangerous.
“Maybe-maybe you could, I don’t know, move to a bigger room,” Stede added.
That was said in a nonchalant tone that was almost convincing, but Izzy’s eyes had immediately noticed the tightness on his jaw and the way Stede was clearly avoiding making eye-contact with him at any cost.
“Actually, there’s plenty of room on the walls of my cabin to hang your present,” Stede said then. “And the bed is much bigger anyway…”
Stede finally turned to look straight at him and Izzy could notice the blush slowly turning his cheeks a light shade of pink.
Stede simply looked at him and waited, but Izzy could only stare back at him, still trying to wrap his head around those words. Stede was asking him to live in the captain’s quarters, that much was clear, but Izzy’s shocked mind apparently couldn’t move past that thought.
Stede started fidgeting with the ribbon under Izzy’s blank stare. He bit his lower lip nervously, still waiting, but eventually he cleared his throat and averted his gaze again.
“But this place is nice too, of course. You don’t have to move if you don’t want to,” Stede said, deflating. “It was just an idea.”
He hesitated for a moment and then left the sword carefully on the table and when he turned around to look at Izzy again he was clearly struggling to keep a smile on his face. He didn’t look angry, though, he looked just sad, and that, Izzy realized, was much worse.
“I’ll think about it,” Izzy heard himself saying.
And he meant it. He was too old and too stubborn to jump blindly into new things and they both knew it, but he wasn’t as scared of showing his feelings as he once was. Or so he hoped.
Stede’s smile broadened and Izzy let out a sigh of relief.
“Of course, dear, take the time you need,” Stede said softly. “There’s no rush.”
Stede’s expression was caring and honest and Izzy started thinking that it was probably going to be the easiest decision of his life. But that wasn’t going to happen that night, because it was still his birthday and he was going to allow himself to be greedy.
Izzy smiled at Stede, grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss. And then another one. And then another one…