Chapter Text
Proud
adjective
feeling deep pleasure or satisfaction as a result of one's own achievements, qualities, or possessions or those of someone with whom one is closely associated.
Genya avoids Sanemi like the plague and Sanemi he himself could barely do anything because Genya stays cooped up on his room studying or doing whatever behind his back, it was the least that Sanemi can do despite him knowing that if this lasts until the end of the year; their relationship will be irreparable.
“If you knew that this would happen, would you have not done what you did on that stage?” Tengen carelessly asks him while Gyomei watches him like a hawk, the older man knew his brother more than him at some point; and the guilt eats Sanemi up, he knows what he lacks. “If i knew you'd ask such a bullshit question to me I would've bashed your head on Ubayashiki-Sama's desk right now." Sanemi grabbed his folders as he opened the sliding door, walking out of the faculty room.
Tengen pulls his head up slowly after resting his face at own desk for a while from making his explosion art already. “Such a way to avoid your problems.” All of the teachers inside of the room stayed silent for the sake of the Shinazugawa brothers, “May they be guided with great energy,” Gyomei mumbles under his breath as he rubbed his hands together and closed his eyes. As the teachers just frowned but tried to mind their own business anyway, they'd only interfere if something bad had happened.
“Who knows what that guy will do, it ain't our problem but we'll do whatever to make him look less shit. I'm not the only one bothered by him, we all know that he's the one who's been bitchy these days.” Tengen snickered, knitting his eyesbrows as he huffed whilst Kanae just frowned at what the white haired man had just said about Sanemi; “A bit insensitive, don't you think so Yakara-Sensei?” Tengen just nods, he knows that he's going overboard with his insults; Sanemi just needed to hear it if he was still here with them.
Genya blinks slowly, he's down on the floor tiles inside the locked empty stall of the boy's school bathroom; his face is wet with tears; everyone has gone home already. He doesn't know how he got in the bathroom suddenly breaking down into sobs after he ran out of Kyogai–Sensei's classroom as they were being taught how to use the drums; it was supposed to be fun as usual, Kyogai often supported Genya everytime they played a new instrument.
The nice melody plays in everyone's ears as Genya skillfully played the violin, his hand holding the bow as it goes up and down slowly; everyone is at awe. Genya feels the tip of his ears go red as his cheeks turn into a rosey pink hue; everyone claps and praises him for his talent.
Now that was all gone specifically after one event, Genya wonders what fuck was happening to him ? He always knew that things would go down south when it came to his brother, he knew that very well; yet he couldn't let go, specifically this one moment of his brother ripping the papers into shreds. Why ? Was it because he held his hopes too high ? Because he expected a caring and loving brother to put Genya in his arms, pamper him and reward him for achieving something great this school year ?
Questions swirled around his mind as Genya choked on his spit, wraps his own arms around himself as he cried and cried; small sobs turned into gasps; clear eyes turned into blurry ones as his once perfectly healthy lungs feel like they'd crack any time soon. He wanted his Nemi' so bad, where was Aniki? “Aniki, San.. Sanemi i'm so– so sorry.. It's all my fault, all my fault– everything is my fault.” He whispered to himself as his hands grasped his head; he doesn't care about how tight he's holding on to his hair even if a few strands fall.
Fat tears kept rolling down as he breathed heavily. The small apologies were endless, he mumbled to himself while he hugged himself, trying to breathe in and out properly like his aniki would always instruct; “I'm sorry, i'm sorry.. i really am, i just– fuck,” He couldn't continue anymore when he realizes that nothing was working; and the panic sets in. As he sobbed and sobbed, all he could really do is whisper out apologies while he drowned in guilt for his mistakes, he was truly pathetic.
So goddamn pathetic.
When Genya gets home, he's really tired; he didn't catch up to the bus anymore because of what he did in that bathroom so he ended up walking back home, it's not like Sanemi even bothered to check for him anyway. So he gets inside of the apartment room, placing the keys on the counter and he hears Sanemi's door open; his brows furrowed down as his tired eyes stared at the figure slipping out of the room, he sees that white hair and frustrated face again. “Where the fuck were you?! Can't you understand the damn numbers in your cellphone, hah?!” Sanemi rushed towards him, grabbing his hair as he was pulled down on the floor.
It doesn't hurt because Sanemi always did this to him, pinch his ear and pull his hair no matter how hard it was; he's gotten used to everything, but him getting slapped by Sanemi wasn't so typical of his older brother. Because that was Kyogo's thing. Then Sanemi finally takes off his hand on his hair and grabs his shirt's collar instead; pulling him close until their noses almost touched together. His sunken eyes blink slowly as he keeps quiet, the two of them stare at each other.
“When will you stop acting like such a huge piece of shit ? I thought taking you away from mom would lessen her burdens but i feel like it just got passed on heavier to me.” And Sanemi really should keep his mouth shut sometimes, he said more than he should've; but to his shock, Genya doesn't cry like a baby this time. The boy bites his bottom lip and clutched his bag's strap tightly to his fist. “I'm sorry, Aniki. I'll be more mindful of the time.” Genya gives him a small bow and walked past him.
Sanemi's fists turn into a ball as he grit his teeth, biting his own tongue till it bleeds. Why the hell did he have to say something like that again, was it so hard to just shut up and take care of Genya like their mom would always do ? He felt annoyed about himself; each mistake piling up after another, he walks towards his own room now but he stops when he sees the light illuminating under Genya's door; the boy was still awake. For a moment he contemplates if he should talk to Genya, but he stood quiet and stared at the light for how long god knows until it's turned off.
Sanemi goes back to his bedroom alone, without any of his little siblings; even without Genya running after behind him and clinging to his shirt to beg and sleep beside him again, ever since Genya had grown up he stopped sleeping with Sanemi; and the bed feels incredibly cold ever since then, it's empty as hell and Sanemi couldn't do shit about it unless he does reach out to Genya. Everyone had bad habits, and Sanemi had most of it.
It was a saturday tomorrow, Sanemi wouldn't mind to buy a watermelon and slice it into pieces for Genya to eat tomorrow since it was his day off anyway; maybe he could take his time then and there, get the chance to talk properly to his brother.
Sanemi slurps the fresh red juice from the bitten watermelon, he sits outside at the balcony of their shared apartment as Genya sat down just near him; they both look at the bright blue skies. Sweat dripping from the younger boy's chin as the electric fan's air blows at them, the summer heat didn't mind the brothers that much as they were used to it since they were kids anyway. “Finish the whole plate and we'll talk.” Genya doesn't say anything, Sanemi takes it as a yes.
When Genya is done he takes the plate to the sink and washes it, he feels nervous about what Sanemi wants to talk about; he really is, for some reason he had thought about everything last when he got home. He held a deep grudge because of how Sanemi humiliated him, but he realized that the certificate wasn't worth anything what he had with his brother; even if it meant destroying Genya's stuff, he knew that Sanemi only wanted best. So he goes ahead inside of Sanemi's room with a terrified look on his face as the sweat breaks out in his face.
It was a bittersweet decision, he did hate his brother a bit but he loved his brother more than he could hate him; seriously.
“Sit.” Sanemi points at the space beside him and Genya takes it, hugs his knees to his chest as his messed up hair catches Sanemi's attention; rather than it being slicked back, it had been messy more than usual as if Genya has been neglecting himself. “Aniki . .” Genya looks away and hugs himself tighter, he's nervous; he feels his heart pounding as his head began to ache, he moves away a bit from Sanemi as the white haired man glared at his little brother.
“I don't know what kind of shit you've been on but don't be like this anymore, i promise to not be too rough on you.” Sanemi's face scrunches up on a frown as Genya's eyes widen, glossy as the tears almost ran; almost did. “I'm proud of you, always have been because you're my brother; and you'll always be great at everything you do.” And there it was, the waterfall tears from Genya as he chokes on his sobs, trying to wipe his tears away but he only ends up crying louder; Sanemi tries not to feel the guilt, it gets heavier more than he can handle because this was Genya; his younger brother who often looked up to him, he wasn't the child who always yelled for help to him anymore.
Genya who now gets upset at him for the right things, Genya who never asks him for help anymore because he can apparently handle it himself now; Genya was not more than capable of doing everything himself, and Sanemi didn't want that; Genya is still a kid who's stupid enough to not really know about everything, this was his Genya, his baby brother who shares the same temper with him. This was Genya who's still a helpless kid who needs people's help but is afraid of it, Genya was terrified of him yet tried to reach his expectations all the time; even if it meant his words would always sting.
He saw Genya as a helpless child but Genya didn't think of himself that way, he was more than just a boy; he's a man now, he's taken hits from his father, painful words from his brother; he is stronger than everyone else thinks, and it'll stay that way no matter what. But here he was showing his weakness and not being the person his Nemi have always wanted, he was immature; he was a bad kid, even his whole existence showed it to everyone . He felt like a disgrace to his own family, to his own blood.
Sanemi asks himself, if this is how Genya always felt Was him saying "I'm proud of you," really such a goddamn important thing to his younger brother ? But he also doesn't notice it, a tear slowly fell to his right eye as his arms that was littered with scars pulled Genya away from his sobs; hugging the boy's head as Genya's face was pressed on his aniki's chest, he turns his sobs there instead as he hugs Sanemi's waist. “Aniki is so sorry, Genya.” and Sanemi hugs him a little more tighter, seeking the warmth that always radiated from Genya; he's really sorry.
He feels Genya's hands claw at his back as this taller child who's supposed to be intimidating and rude feels small in his arms and the boy cried and cried for him, “Aniki ! I really promise, I promise i'll be a better student, i'll be smarter and try to be better with studies. I –” Sanemi shushes him with his finger as Genya's eyes widened, tears streaming down to his cheeks as his brother stared at him with an unreadable expression; “It doesn't matter anymore Genya, I just want you to do the best you can do; reach your limits if you'd like, whatever the hell you do is something i'll appreciate as long as we're still brothers.”
Genya's lips cracks a smile as a laugh softly erupts inside the room, Sanemi grunts and feels the tip of his ears go red; something that the brothers also shared. “Don't fucking laugh. . I'm being serious here.” His arm scattered with scars tried to cover his face as his white hair gets messy from being ruffled from his hand, “But this doesn't mean you'll just slack off whenever you want to, I'll still slaughter your ass if you ever fail.” Genya blinks and stays quiet, for a moment there; Sanemi thinks he's said something but Genya is quick to cut him off before he talks.
“My grades are slipping these days, Aniki. I should've paid more attention but i guess everything just took a toll on me,” Sanemi frowns upon hearing that, it wasn't about the grades, it was about the fact that Genya just carelessly mentions that he's been really tired lately and has been neglecting the things that he considers very important in his life. Sanemi can imagine what it must be like for Genya, to be forced into something because of his high expectations; because he also knew how it felt like.
“The fuck do you mean ?" Genya's eyes suddenly looked up fast to Sanemi's who stared at him tensely, “Genya, what have you been doing these days ?” Sanemi's voice is cautious and Genya's smile slowly falls, and pulls away from Sanemi's hug gently; his eyes shift to the floor instead, an unfortunate timing for him indeed. “I know i was always in my room and stopped talking to you for the days, but all i've been doing was studying all the time. . And– and, uh,” Genya couldn't bring himself to talk anymore, the countless panic attacks he had suffered those days; the amount of times he had passed out from them. The wasted bloody tissues from his nosebleeds all the damn time because he hasn't been sleeping well ever since, causing his health to deteriorate badly.
He feels Sanemi touch his cheek, those soft yet rough finger tips pressed on his face as he stared up at his brother while he remains crouched down to feel smaller than his brother. “Genya. .” Sanemi looks frustrated, angry and upset and Genya almost thinks it's because of him again; because he probably made Sanemi feel unimportant. “But I promise i handled everything well ! Trust me, those panic attacks barely hurt me anymore !” Sanemi's eyes widened and Genya realizes it slipped out from his mouth. “Genya. . What ? The fuck do you mean it barely hurts you anymore, what else don't i fucking know?” Sanemi feels like he's been stabbed in the chest.
Genya stays quiet, and it's just like that; he chooses to stay silent and just touch the back of Sanemi's hand that was touching his face as he warmly smiles instead of explaining to Sanemi more. “It's okay now, you don't have to worr–” “Well i have to fucking worry if you haven't been telling me these things ! Just what the hell were you thinking ? You– You were upset i get it but Genya, this is important. You're hurting yourself, and I– I didn't even, fuck, fuck, shit !” Sanemi's voice is so loud than Genya almost jumps but all he can do is stay put and freeze up as his big brother was just, really so worried.
More tears are shared as Genya pulls his brother closer and they hug each other so tight as if it's the last time they'll be together, Sanemi doesn't shy away as he quietly cries like the man he's supposed to be. You're not supposed to cry in front of anyone but you'll have that chance if you deserve it, if you ever cry in front of someone then stay quiet; don't show such vulnerability. He remembers telling himself so vividly, yet he never forced those words on anyone else besides himself. “It's all my fault, sorry aniki.” Don't say that, he wanted to tell Genya so badly. Sanemi doesn't talk he just holds on to his brother while Genya gives him a big warm smile despite those ugly tears, Sanemi is given a chance to be the child this time; “It's okay now aniki, you don't have to worry anymore. I won't be a burden.” Sanemi desperately wants to forget those words last night, he didn't mean it; he said something that he can't take back right now, it was imprinted in his little brother's brain now.
And Sanemi sobs a little louder this time, he's guilty of his sins; he feels like an angry fool and now Genya was taking all of his pent up anger, he wants to say Genya isn't a burden and he never was but it seems like he couldn't because of the overwhelming emotions, his chest feels tight and his finger nails dig to Genya's back. “Fuckin' hell, Genya,” He manages to wheeze out as he tries to laugh away the fact that it hurts, it fucking hurts like a bitch and now he can't imagine what Genya must feel like everytime he's had episodes. He's supposed to be the big brother, why was he the one clinging to Genya and acting like the little brother instead ? This was unfair, so unfair to his younger siblings, to Genya– and their mom.
Genya pulls him away slowly and he stares at Sanemi's pale purple eyes, with that tear stained face it almost makes Genya break down. As Sanemi just stared at him with a blank face yet those tears kept coming. Genya's thumb brushes under one of Sanemi's eyes, wiping away the tear as Sanemi just kept himself dead silent; he doesn't realize that Genya holds his face so dearly as if it's so delicate despite the scars littered over it, he has more scars than Genya therefore he has nothing but a broken face now. What was so delicate about him anyway ? Genya kisses his forehead, his cheek; kisses those tears away as Sanemi gives a wet laugh and puts his head down slowly but it doesn't stop Genya from showering him with those kisses and god did Sanemi feel like it was mom doing this to him all over again before his other siblings were born. There wasn't any more love to share with him, being equally loved is easy you say ? There was no such thing as equal inside of a household filled with abuse and neglect along with many kids at that time, there was no love left for him but responsibilities and he gladly took it to his hands as the head of the house now.
He takes the burden of being so pressured off of his mother's hands but Sanemi has forgotten everything alright and continues to move on forward with his fresh start in life, he offers his brother a small smile and they both eventually smile anyway and they laugh together softly, Sanemi holds Genya like back then when he was a kid; he'd throw Genya up in the air just like years ago but he knew it wouldn't be possible anymore. So he ends up taking in Genya inside of his blankets as they both sleep together, Genya continues to squeeze himself in Sanemi's arms as he's held tightly by his brother in an attempt to make sure Genya was truly safe from any danger because Sanemi will shield him from anything that'll hurt his younger brother no matter what.
“Aniki?” Genya's voice calls out for him and Sanemi doesn't hesitate to respond to him.
“What?” Sanemi answers back.
“I love you.” Sanemi feels like he hasn't heard those words ever since Genya grew up, turned thirteen years old and would just be embarrassed of saying those sweet words; Sanemi wasn't embarrassed of saying it though, he just didn't want to say it.
“I.. I love you too.” A little hesitancy in his voice as Genya just smiles and shoves his face in Sanemi's neck instead, Sanemi ruffles the back of Genya's jet black hair and smiles from behind anyway. “Now go to sleep you little shithead.” Genya tries to stifle his laughter but ends up snuggling deeper to Sanemi instead and giggle as his older brother lets him be and smiles to himself as he closes his eyes.
Sanemi gets out of the classroom he has last attended, he still had a few kids to give an remedial test which clearly involved the Hashibira kid or better off to say 'Insane, loud and lunatic boar head boy' Inosuke; he makes a tsk sound as he pinches the bridge of his nose and deeply sighs, he'll have to make Genya take the bus instead to get home this afternoon; hoping the younger boy wouldn't get stuck in traffic. Taking his phone out, he dials Genya's phone and of course Genya is quick to pick up as usual; “Aniki ?” Sanemi almost smiles a little if it weren't for the other teachers' presences that he sensed for some reason. He just covers his mouth and coughs a little, “You're gonna have to take the bus, i won't be home early; so go home, get washed up and eat dinner earlier. Got it ? No shooting practice this time, i mean it.”
Genya laughs, he hears it loud and clear from the phone as Sanemi just huffs. “I get it, Aniki ! You know me already, i'll be back home by probably 6:00 anyway; these fast legs can run from hell itself.” Sanemi grins and nods a bit and for some reason, Genya can feel the trust behind Sanemi's words as he gives his last talk to his brother before he goes to the bus stop, “I'll be going now so I won't miss the bus, alright?” Sanemi just agrees and then it just doesn't end there, “Be careful Genya, take care and. . I love you too.” Sanemi smiles a little again and the call ends there.
When the call ends Genya just hums quietly while he's on his way to the bus stop, a bunch of kids running past him as they all crossed the road without a care, they were fortunate enough that the traffic lights were on color red if it weren't for the right time; Genya's mouth slips out a tsk! sound as he stared at one child who seems to be running after his other friends too but just as the timer of the traffic lights had ended, quickly setting into a green light; Genya's eyes widen as the kid runs ahead of him and he doesn't feel his brain work after that; he quickly sprints towards the kid but he was still far behind; he holds out his hand in an attempt to pull him back but they were both halfway to the road already.
Just as the kid was about to be grabbed from behind, the flashing light almost blinds Genya's whole vision but the child was about to be hit by the car– the adrenaline was rushing him into everything so he quickly pushes away the kid as hard as he can and the car hits him instead in a quick second; throwing him slightly far away as every one of the people on the sidewalk had gasped and some had ran towards him with a yell. His head feels like it's been split open yet his arm is numb, so is his whole body from the impact. His half lidded eyes feel wet but he also sees red while he's on the ground, he feels slightly cold.
He doesn't realize it that he's laying on the ground at the pool of his own blood and all he can do is stay quiet, his throat bubbles up and he coughs up blood; he sees the panic of everyone that surrounds him as they call for help, some person holds his head up and keep his bag close to them; then he recognizes the phone that the person is holding in their hands; it's his phone, hey, they shouldn't touch what was his. He tries to make an attempt to try and grab his phone but his entire vision blacks out and the sound of sirens were so loud yet it only sounds far away from his ears. “Aniki, i'm. . . scared.” He lastly said as the medical team had arrived earlier for him, carrying him to a stretcher as his other arm falls limp.
It hasn't been fucking twenty five minutes yet when Sanemi receives a sudden call that's from Genya's own phone, maybe his brother accidentally got in trouble with some delinquents ? Hell does he know, if it was just Genya asking for some extra money he'd turn him down immediately anyway; so he answers the call and pulls the phone close to his ear just as he's about to reply he's been cut off. “Hello, is this Shinazugawa Genya's family ?” A voice that he doesn't even fucking recognize, god, if Genya had involved himself into deep shit he swears that he'll kill that fucking kid himself– “This is his brother, may I ask what the hell did my brother do now?” A nerve pops from his cheek, seething from anger already.
“You're the only one in Mr. Shinazugawa-San's emergency contacts, he's been involved in a car incident and we'll need you to come to the Kimetsu Byouin immediately if you can now.” And all that anger vanishes away, he was just about to get prepared to leave since he got the chance to ditch the students he was gonna give tests to just so he could head his way home; expecting Genya to be back home earlier and to have their dinner prepared so they'll be eating together. His eyes are so wide and he freezes up and Giyuu notices it, his mouth slightly opening as Tengen along with Kyojuro and Gyomei had stared at him now while the phone was still close to his ear.
Giyuu speaks up first upon seeing Sanemi's reaction that clearly has made the others a bit surprised as well, “What is with that shocked reaction, Shinazugawa-San ? !” The blondeheaded loud mouth said with a big smile as Giyuu also joins in, “Maybe something bad. . We shouldn't really ask, Rengoku-San.” Gyomei just stays quiet but agrees anyway as Tengen teases Sanemi, “What ? Did a girl break up with you, Shinazugawa ?” Sanemi grits his teeth and pushes his way out and running as fast as he could on his way to the hospital, the panic setting in as he tries not to breathe heavily and maintain his breathing; don't stress out, he's fine; he's fucking fine, Sanemi. Don't overreact, it was an accident, you'll find who's responsible for it.
He gets inside of his car and drives fast away from the school, to hell with the driving violations; this was his brother, Genya. It doesn't matter how many tickets he's getting he just had to get to the hospital as fast as he can, his white knuckled hands grip tightly on the wheel as he really tried to calm himself down but the sweat on his neck tells him otherwise; just a while ago it didn't feel puffy when he had buttoned up his dress shirt properly up to his chest and neck yet now he feels like he's getting choked; revealing his chest scars once again. “Fucking hell ! You'd better be fucking alright, Genya.” His hand hits the car horn directly for a quick second as he breathes heavily, his chest moving up and down rapidly.
He finally reaches the hospital and he immediately gets out of his car, rushing inside of the emergency room; he frantically looks around for the sight of his brother but he had no choice but to go the front desk instead, just as the woman was about to ask him he'd been quick to cut her off. “I'm looking for a patient, his name is Shinazugawa Genya– he has a mullet, like, like a fucking mohawk and, shit, fuck ! Just tell me where my fucking brother is !” the nurse besides him quickly calls out for him as she leads him to Genya's bed; and there it was, his brother who slept soundly as his ragged breathing is heard.
The nurse looks at him with pity and she covers the curtains, Sanemi almost falls to his knees when he sees Genya injected with so many things that he barely recognized like an IV drip and a blood bag; the oxygen mask didn't make Genya look any better, still wearing the new bloody uniform he had excitedly worn since Sanemi complimented him when he wore it; it was clear as white when he wore it now it was just smeared with blood, seeing Genya's bandaged head and arms as well as hands wasn't any better. His hands reach out for Genya's face as he lightly squeezes it then he frowns, his hands are shaking as he stares at the state his brother is in. “Why the fuck would you do this ?” He asked as if it were his brother's fault, not expecting an response so he takes the chair and sits just near Genya; holding the sixteen year old's hand with both of his own, it's cold, Sanemi says in his mind.
“If. . If that kid died his mom would be devas. . devasted, aniki.” a voice speaks out, it's hoarse and tired; Sanemi looks at him with surprise and Genya just closes his smile and gives him a smile despite the bruises on his face; Sanemi frowns but nods anyway. “Of course she would be, but she's a goddamn fool to make a kid run around with a behavior like that. You . .” –Almost died, is what Sanemi wanted to say but Genya can't seem to stop smiling; saving a kid wasn't a small thing considering that if the car did actually hurt the kid then the chances of him surviving was very low meaning he'd be dead by now, only if it weren't for Genya. Sanemi softly puts his hand on top of Genya's head, the soft and messy locks of his jet black hair gets tangled with Sanemi's fingers a bit.
“You're a good kid but don't just take your life too early yet, are you getting me ?” Sanemi says it in a nicer way this time and he's much more gentle, his eyes that always seemed annoyed and angry stared at Genya's so warmly; his cordial smile showing yet the worry still radiated from him. “You're the only one I have left with me, the one who can understand me; I can't afford to lose you too. Mom's far away with our other siblings, you know.” Genya's eyes sparkle at his big brother's words and he doesn't realize that he's crying, his hands curls into a ball as they rubbed his eyes; trying to stop his crying as he sobbed and sobbed like back then. “Don't cry, Nemi's here and I'm glad you're alive. Don't be sorry for your mistakes, I'm proud of you for always helping other people; I raised you right.” Sanemi smiles at him again, and that was a really rare moment to see; seeing the sight of his brother smile made his heart explode.
Genya keeps hearing the word 'Proud' and it was specifically for him and god did he feel overwhelming happiness and pain because he's waited for those words for many years now, enduring the abuse no matter if it's words or physical; he did everything to make people proud of him. He really did. Genya can't help but hold his hands out for a hug from his big brother, and Sanemi doesn't hesitate to hug him at all; Genya thinks Sanemi is so warm unlike when he was down on that cold ground, helplessly bleeding as he called out for his brother. He couldn't seek the warmth he always wanted because nothing ever matched to the feeling of hugging his Nemi.
“Thank you for being my brother,” Sanemi doesn't feel regretful this time, he doesn't regret loving his baby brother; he doesn't regret raising Genya to be a better person than their own father, he doesn't feel any regret being with Genya.