Chapter Text
Some would say that raising another man's children could be difficult, that being a cuckold was shameful, that Laenor was little of a man for having been incapable of progeny and accepted that his wife put into bed another man who planted cuckoos in the nest of the man. dragon.
They were all wrong.
Oh no, it wasn't easy, but people thought it had been difficult for the wrong reasons.
It was difficult to live with the shame that he was incapable of completing the act that even those who hated their spouse could grit their teeth and perform. Laenor might be a dragonrider, a good warrior, and a capable heir, but he failed in the task that even the humblest of men fulfilled.
And Rhaenyra, who had a thousand reasons to resent him as much as he had to hate her, was... the first sip of sweet water, a sweet and understanding promise, a faithful friend and a sympathetic ear.
He hated that he couldn't change his inclinations.
She had looked for ways out and alternatives, reaching out until she cut herself and swinging balls in the air.
It still wasn't enough.
For neither of them.
He didn't blame Rhaenyra for seeking affections elsewhere or doing what was necessary when, as the daughter of a queen judged incapable of her duty, she did her best to conceive that first year.
He didn't blame Harwin for loving Rhaenyra. He could even say that he was happy that she found a way to be happy just as he had found Qarl after spending nights in a sea of faceless men in an attempt to forget Joffrey.
But he hated them a little, even through the guilt that threatened to drown him because with what right did he feel that way, for keeping him at a distance.
It was not difficult to raise another man's children... because Laenor never considered them anything other than his own.
From the moment he held Jace in his arms he felt what his mother said when talking about his birth. It was as if the world stopped, as if nothing else mattered, because there, in his arms, was the most important thing in the world. Tiny and perfect, a living being that would depend on him to protect him until he was a brave and strong dragon capable of fighting his own battles.
Laenor knew without a doubt that he would do anything for this little being, he knew that he wanted to be worthy of this little creature, who would never doubt how much he loved him and what he would do for him.
Laenor had cried when he held his firstborn and all he could say was 'he's perfect' .
His parents had looked at each other, no doubt believing they knew the truth about the boy, and his mother had begun to speak. He didn't even hesitate to interrupt her, much to Rhaenyra's relief, although the truth was that it had to do with the little flame lying against his chest and tightly gripping his finger in one of his little hands.
‘ I could call him Joffrey' He mentioned before looking back at the newborn. Joffrey was a beautiful and brave man. That was a worthy name to bear and a way to honor his slain love.
‘ Laenor…’ In that At the moment he didn't know Rhaenyra's tones, not as he would come to know them over the course of a decade. It was censorship. Because Laenor was not behaving as she expected or needed.
'Jacaerys is a worthy name that has been used before by sons of Targaryen and Velaryon' His father interrupted with a look of surprise and disgust that then softened although his eyes were hard when he looked at them both.' I will be happy to claim a child who bears that name as a grandson. And both he and Rhaenyra heard the threat loud and clear.
Harwin had come in once everyone had left, supposedly to talk to them both, but the truth was he wanted to see the child his seed had produced. And Laenor should not have envied him such a simple pleasure. Harwin was leal, Rhaenyra may have been wrong with her first choice, but she had been right with her second (or third if you counted Daemon).
That was the first time Laenor felt that vile feeling. What did an heir to a rich and powerful House have to be jealous of? Nothing, that used to be the answer.
Until he saw Rhaenyra and Harwin smiling above his son and Laenor only wanted to tear the newly named Jacaerys from Harwin's arms and never let another carry him again.
Instead he said goodbye (without them seeming to notice) and got drunk until he forgot how much he wanted to push the other man away from his son.
Harwin made Rhaenyra happy. Without Harwin the children of Laenor would never have existed. Laenor was glad that Rhaenyra Never He knew that he had been relieved when Harwin died and he no longer had to share his children.
(And in retaliation for such a hateful thought the gods had killed his sister while she herself was trying to bring life to the world)
The children were accepted by Viserys and their father. They bore his name. They bore names of their House. They wore their colors. They were his damn .
Spending time with the children was difficult. For one thing, Laenor's skin would start to itch if he stayed too long in King's Landig (his love of sailing or the presence of terrible people in that smelly place, perhaps) which meant he did his best to travel to Driftmark and traveling by air and sea instead of setting foot on land; but on the other hand Rhaenyra had done everything possible so that Harwin, at that time newly appointed captain of the city guard, could spend time with the children even after their father gently suggested to Viserys that it would be prudent to take Harwin away for a while. little which had the unpleasant effect of distancing and delete Laenor of the time he could share with the children.
Laenor had to swallow his anger and allow Criston Cole , saved by the queen's mercy and the king's weak will, will train his children, all at the monarch's behest. Worst of all, he couldn't watch them himself. Harwin was more than capable of doing it himself and he could also advise them, after all he had participated in many tournaments (never mind that Laenor was the one who saw the war).
Laenor loved Seasmoke, together from the cradle just as Rhaenyra and Syrax shared a connection few could understand. Teaching Jace and Luke must have been a responsibility that fell on his shoulders with Rhaenyra as busy as she was with Small Council meetings and fighting Alicent's growing influence.
But it was one of the few times that Harwin could walk with the children, Pretending to be the father he could never be, and Laenor was persuaded to leave the responsibility to the Dragonkeapers to learn the basics, at least until they were old enough to fly on their own.
Laenor should at least be able to enjoy his children and the company of his wife, even if it was more as a friend than as a woman, during the lazy afternoons and calm nights. But more than once he had to endure Harwin's company after he returned to the children.
He just stood there, watching how Rhaenyra looked at Harwin and his children with a little smile, how Harwin did his best to entertain the children and how Jace and Luke laughed excitedly.
Laenor was a stranger in his own family.
And he hated Harwin and Rhaenyra for that.
Rhaenyra only wanted him around to gain the support of the Velaryons and quell Jace and Luke's rumors. Were ' our' sons when Rhaenyra needed him to serve as a shield, but never the rest of the time. Laenor had to fight his way tooth and nail to get Rhaenyra to give in to allowing Laenor to take the children flying and sailing. They bore the surname Velaryon, and Rhaenyra seemed to refuse to allow Laenor to teach them the ways of the sea and salt.
Despite that, Laenor succeeded.
The fights were sometimes amazing. With Laenor pushing and reminding Rhaenyra that Lucerys might not be his son (and how that lie burned on the tongue) but he would one day be the heir of Diftmark and Jace was not to be left out while Luke and Laenor traveled together.
Rhaenyra would eventually always give in, at least on those arguments. The problem was the others, when Laenor wanted to live adventures again and get away from the foul air of the Capital and the terrible people in it.
Because Laenor hadn't had to compromise on anything except being semi-present for Rhaenyra.
Because this situation had been at least partially Laenor's fault.
Because Rhaenyra had done everything possible to give him freedom and enjoyment among the bitterness.
How dare Laenor wish for more?
The truth is that both were prisoners in that false marriage, united and separated by the children between them.
When Laenor left, after Rhaenyra refused to allow him to commit to his family (even though there was no longer any Harwin and with them in Dragonstone it was possible for him and the children to travel and live together in another, better way) he He had left a part of himself behind.
But Rhaenyra was tired of compromises.
And with Laena dead Daemon was an option again.
He just had to eliminate Laenor.
Laenor who was unable to give her children, Laenor who could not silence the whispers, Laenor who was a warrior but not THE warrior she trusted to protect her and the children.
Jealousy, bitterness and self-hatred hurt and clawed at his being.
Because Rhaenyra never blamed him…and he couldn't blame her for wanting what he could never deliver.
Once again Rhaenyra gave him 'freedom' and freed him from his responsibilities (she took his children from him) and Laenor understood and relented once again because even if it hurt he trusted Daemon to keep his children safe, to be a vengeful sword. when Laenor's shield was of defective bronze.
And then his children were dead. One behind the other.
If Rhaenyra couldn't avoid being usurped even with Daemon at her side and Daemon couldn't protect Luke, Jace and Joff, why did he make that sacrifice?
In his anger Laenor felt his fire burn and he spilled blood and salt. He searched in his desperation and the prayer of a grieving father was answered.
Laenor could take revenge, take Seasmoke and burn everyone who ever hurt his children, but he chose not to.
All he wanted was for his children to be safe. And that wasn't at Rhaenyra's side.
The black book with its bloody pages had an answer and he did not hesitate to use it.
It wasn't like Rhaenyra was losing anything.
Daemon was what she always wanted. Their children together were undoubtedly more beloved simply for the fact of who their father was (not a man who did not father them or the comfort of a turbulent time) and his Valyrian appearance certainly helped with everything.
The son of Daemon and Rhaenyra would be king again.
Laenor simply would not allow their children died for that to happen.
He just needed to convince Jace that it really was for the best; and, luckily, seeing his mother with her new family (all looking the right way) seemed to be enough to put an end to the questions despite the dreams of a life now never happened.
(The dream of Luke's death a few nights later he helped Laenor finish convincing Jace that he only wanted the best for them.
Jacaerys, Lucerys and Joffrey only needed a father.
And it was Laenor)