Chapter Text
When Agamemnon found him, it was a little while after supper. They had rabbits that night– which were a treat amongst soldiers and royals alike, since their food supply had never been that worthwhile. Odysseus did not eat much however. The sight of food still sent him recoiling a lot of the time, and he could only stomach small portions.
He snuck his leftovers to one of Patroclus’ hounds, and went for a walk along the shore. He knew Diomedes would be waiting for him back at their tent, but he just needed some time to himself- as short as that time may be.
He was sitting alone, watching the waves, when someone strolled up behind him. Their footsteps made a crunching noise against the sand, giving them away easily. Odysseus turned his head, expecting Menelaus or Diomedes to be there. He was wrong.
“You’ve been rather quiet since dawn.” Agamemnon said, his voice keeping its usual indifference that it always carried when speaking to any of them. Never soft, never worried. Odysseus hummed a small, noncommittal note in acknowledgment, and turned back towards the water. Realistically, he’d been quiet ever since he returned from the Trojans’ grasps. Aside from the first few days of initial consciousness, when he was angry. And even then, he only raised his voice a handful of times. He had a feeling that Agamemnon hadn’t found him because of his uncharacteristic silence today. There was something more he wanted to speak about. Odysseus could come up with a few guesses as to what that may have been.
He had not spoken to his commander alone since his rescue. Right after his fever broke, and he awoke lucid for the first time in weeks- Odysseus screamed at him. He screamed at all of them, even as his throat ached and eyes stung with tears. That was before Diomedes came back. Things had been calmer since his friend returned to his side.
Still, Agamemnon hadn’t pulled him aside to speak about everything yet. Odysseus assumed that's why he had gone looking for him now. They needed to talk.
He was right about this assumption too, since the man moved to sit next to him without any more small-talk.
“I wanted to speak to you about something.”
He hummed again. “All ears.”
Agamemnon let out a breath, and his face hardened in focus. He thought for a brief moment, and Odysseus waited, fiddling with the string of his belt.
“I don’t say this very often.” The man prefaced, almost like he was nervous. The thought made Odysseus want to laugh, being as bizarre as it was- but he didn’t. It was not the appropriate time to, after all.
He watched Agamemnon’s mouth form into a thin line, and had half the heart to tell him to hurry up. Maybe he would’ve months ago. But things had changed, and Odysseus’ desire to piss him off had lessened. He didn’t know if it was because of fear, or just a change of heart— but he chose to just believe the latter. He didn’t want to feel afraid anymore.
“But I am sorry, Odysseus.”
The entire world seemed to come to a halt then. It felt as if the air had chilled around them, and Odysseus was suddenly very, very cold. He couldn’t keep eye contact with the man for more than a second, because the look on his face made Odysseus’ insides coil.
“What did you say..?” The disbelief was evident within his own voice, but Agamemnon must not have taken it personally, because he didn’t yell at him. He hadn’t yelled at him for a long time now actually. Somehow, Odysseus hadn’t noticed that before.
“I‘m sorry.” Agamemnon repeated, perfectly composed, as usual. Yet, when Odysseus looked up again he saw genuine guilt within his expression. It was mild, he wasn’t tearful or anything— but it was still there.
In the back of his mind, he remembered what Diomedes had told him- all those months ago. He was able to recite the words in his head, because the Argive said it so many times.
“You do not owe any of us forgiveness. ‘You understand that? You owe us nothing.”
Odysseus took a deep breath, just as a familiar chlamys was draped over his shoulders. The blood stains had long since been washed out- leaving it looking as good as new. He allowed Agamemnon to clip the fabric into place, and let him linger close as well.
“I forgive you.” He said, allowing their shoulders to brush as they sat there, watching the waves. He did not look over to see Agamemnon’s face, but he had a feeling the man was relieved anyway.
“Good. At this rate, the war would take another five years to finish if you hated me.”
Odysseus let out a strained, airy laugh- and finally rested against the man’s side. “That’d be ridiculous.”