Chapter Text
Roy is officially at a loss. Not a first by any means, but fucking frustrating every single time. His sister unfortunately has a way of getting in his head, throwing words at him that worm their way around his brain, burrowing in the thoughts he wants to ignore most. Like how he's now imagining a reality where he's more than a third wheel. Stupid fantasies and all.
The season is about to begin, and Roy knows there's not much time to get over this. He wracks his brain, trying to figure out a way. The idea that pops up first is one he'd certainly follow through a few years back. It's what most people do to get over impossible love life conundrums; go out and get laid with a stranger. And it would be a perfect solution were he not both too old for this and a somewhat still famous ex-footballer.
So he stews in his couch for a while, going about the problem any way he can think. No one ever accused him of being the smartest person in a room, and all those headers over the years probably only made things worse. Fucking brain development. What that all means in this case, is that the only solution he can come up with is confronting the problem head on, and quickly, before the impulse wears off , leaving him to realise he made both a mistake and a fool of himself.
'Dinner at mine on Friday at 7?' he fires off in the group chat that has grown awkwardly silent after a few stunted texts days ago. The text is seen almost immediately by Jamie, the least busy of the two at the time, and he replies a simple 'sure' along with a string of emojis only he can make sense of. Keeley takes a bit longer to answer, leading Roy to do stress-housework, like laundry, and the dishes, and clean out that one cabinet he's been dreading forever, but, when it comes, the answer is affirmative.
Of course, Friday being two days away, gives him plenty of time to regret everything. He's hovered over the chat a plethora of times, fully prepared to cancel and go back to what he's been doing (not hiding). Alas, his sister's judgemental look, along with Dr. Sharon's voice lingering in his head won't allow him to hit send.
It's more than that, he can admit in the privacy of his brain. He probably would never describe it this way to anyone, but he's getting the butterflies everyone's raving about, even if only at the possibility there can be something more. This time, he cannot convince himself to trust his instinct to protect his heart, sappy as it may sound. Keeley leaving him tore him apart for quite a while; obviously, he's still not over it, and when newfound feelings are added to the mix… Roy is not equipped for this, not in the slightest.
Friday comes frighteningly fast, or torturously slow, Roy can't decide. He spends the whole day in the kitchen, trying to focus on the meal preparation so much that he might forget everything else. Surprisingly, it works a bit. By the time seven o'clock rolls around, he's so into what he's doing that the doorbell almost drives him to an early grave. A juvenile part of him urges him to hide under the table and pretend he's not here. He ignores it, and goes to open the door.
Keeley is gorgeous, as always, pink and glittery, sporting a smile that Roy doesn't feel like he deserves. Jamie is with her - they came together, he should back down- dressed up as well, though with his sense of style that doesn't say much. He's obviously considered this an important enough occasion to wear a shirt, so Roy is, hopefully, not the only awkward one.
"Roy! It's been so long!" Keeley hugs him, comforting, if a bit stilted, so obvious an attempt at calming him down. The bottle of -presumably- wine in her hand knocks against his back. Right after she untangles herself from him, Jamie comes up to him. His smile would look normal to anyone else, but Roy knows him too much by now. He's nervous.
Slower than Keeley before him, he brings his arms around Roy's shoulders, stiff in the unfamiliarity of the motion.
"Glad you're alive, Royo." He passes by him to go inside after a last pat. Roy takes a couple seconds to compose himself , and follows after closing the door. They've found their way to the dining table, filled with Roy's stressed out creations. The amount of cheese and butter he's used would give Jamie's dietitian an aneurysm, but Roy has decided this one day can be an exception to the rule.
"Roy this looks fantastic! Did you make these yourself? No way." Keeley knows he can cook, has experienced it firsthand quite a bit, yet it still makes him blush when she compliments his skills. Jamie just looks dumbfounded.
"Fucking hell, old man. If I knew you could cook like this I wouldn't only eat breakfast here." Roy rolls his eyes.
"Sit down then, don't want it to get cold." He needs the food to taste the best it possibly can. In his brain, it's a one-up, a way to show them what they're missing if everything goes to shit tonight. He gets three glasses for the wine, along with the opener from a drawer.
They sit down to eat in silence at first. It's awkward until Jamie tries some of the main course and makes a borderline pornographic sound, opening his eyes to look straight at Roy. If he didn't find it this arousing Roy would get mad at the muppet likely making fun of him.
Keeley elbows him, and then, through her magic ways at PR, manages to make small talk, dragging both of them along with it. She talks about her job, mostly, asking for their input every now and then, which Jamie is happy to give. Roy is not as much involved. He mostly spends the time thinking of how to broach the subject at the end of dinner. The answer, apparently, is like a proper brute.
"Are you two shagging again?" He blurts out, almost satisfied at catching them by surprise. The look they exchange is enough to turn the previous butterflies into wasps.
"No", "Not exactly." they answer at the same time, which is more confusing than it ought to be.
"It's fine if you are, I just…" He trails off. Keeley is quick to grab his wrist over the table, likely predicting he'd get up.
"We're not back together, Roy. We've only been talking, we had the time during the trip-" it comes crashing down, he knew this would happen, he fucking called it. His sister is not going to hear the end of it, it's her fucking fault.
"Fine, okay. Good luck with that then. Cheers." He draws his hand back, getting up, Jamie following immediately, his char screeching against the tiles.
"Would you fucking wait for a sec? Christ… We ain't together, it wouldn't work with just the two of us. Is that why you've been a hermit these days? And you call me a prima donna" Jamie's frustration is palpable. The wording is what stops him in his tracks. The tiny flame of hope is alight again. Or maybe the little prick just has no concept of the english language and it meant nothing.
"The fuck is that about?" Roy has to make sure, as cautious as he wants to be. He ignores the rest of what Jamie said, it's not in his best interest to explain the past week, even if he'll probably have to at some point. Keeley comes up to join them, standing in front of the kitchen, taking the reins of the conversation, probably for the best. Keeley has a way with words, after all.
"Listen, Roy. And you can stop me if you're uncomfortable with it. We've been thinking about it and… We'd like to try things out. The three of us." She wrings her hands, looking at him with a mix of concern and hope from under her eyelashes. If it were any other situation, Roy would take a moment to appreciate her beauty all over again. As it is, his brain is static, and his fingertips are numb.
"You what?" Great, Roy, eloquent as ever. Keeley is not deterred by his gobsmacked look, though.
"I didn't want to presume, but I've seen how you look at Jamie. I could be wrong, though I don't believe I am." She pushes through, becoming slightly more confident with each word. And, fuck, had he been that obvious? Why did no one ever tell him then? Why did he have to have his feelings crash into him a random morning, leading to a not so subtle crisis? The million dollar question, though, is; did Jamie know? Roy turns to look at him, searching for something. And something he finds.
"It's okay grandad, I know I'm irresistible." Roy glares at him, wants to wipe that smirk off his face. Here Roy is, having a whole epiphany, and Jamie just has to be obnoxious. Thankfully, Keeley reprimands him before Roy takes any drastic measures.
"Not now Jamie. I don't think I could be with either of you separately. But maybe we could make it work among the three of us. Take your time to think about it, no pressure," She placates. Roy can't find words. This whole thing is too much, and he's never been one for expressions.
"You can't just throw that all at a man and then 'no pressure' him." Jamie points out. He's right. You can't spring all that on a man.
"I mean it, though. And I don't think I could've said it any other way." No, she probably couldn't have. And thank God she did, because otherwise, Roy would have to, and God knows he wouldn't be as cohesive, or nice about it, as Keeley just was. They'd probably end up in a misunderstanding too messy to untangle.
"Still, you saw what happened, he could go back to hyphenation if we shock him." The normalcy of Jamie jumbling words jostles him a bit.
"Hibernation." Keeley corrects.
"Whatever."
"Roy? You alright there?" No. No, he's absolutely not. This isn't supposed to be reality. He called them here tonight, waiting for them to break his heart, and, instead, he's actually getting what he wanted. It's too good to be true.
"Fucking hell. Do you mean it? This isn't a fucking prank or something?" It's defensive, a last ditch effort to have them laugh at his face and let him return to his comfort zone. He could almost see Jamie pulling something like this, even though, deep down, he knows he wouldn't. Not anymore.
"Roy, you know I wouldn't joke about this." Keeley furrows her eyebrows, looking the slightest bit offended.
"I know, I…" A wave of shame rushes over him. Just because he's fucked up, he's got no right accusing them of anything.
"If you don't want to, it's alri-" Keeley, ever the diplomat starts.
"I do!" Roy grabs the chance, before they think he's being like this because he wants to turn them down politely. It's probably the quickest answer he's ever croaked out, if only second to when his old manager had offered up the contract for Chelsea. Jamie gears up to say something, smirk already plastered on.
"Don't say a damn word you muppet or I'll kick you out." He doesn't mean it. Never does anymore. Of course, Jamie knows it, so he completely ignores him.
"Well then what's the hold up? We could be snogging right now." He takes a step towards Roy, but he stops him. Ideally, yes, they could be snogging right now, and it would be something straight out of his fantasies, the ones taking over the last few days. It would be completely irresponsible, though, before talking about it, so he puts a stop to it, or he might never be courageous enough to bring his concerns up after he's gotten a taste of what this could be.
"For fuck's sake, Tartt, if you ever think through anything in your life, let it be this." Roy sighs, closes his eyes, bringing a palm up to them. He needs to be mature here, he can't just give in, tempting as it may be. A slim hand cups his unoccupied forearm. Keeley.
"Roy? Do you want to talk about what's worrying you? " At least he's not the only one trying to be mature. If it were only Jamie here, Roy knows he'd be done for, giving in to the little prick's whims. He can't pick a worry to talk about. They're all a jumbled mess, in his head, trying to get over each other, and it takes him a bit to come up with the simplest one.
"Why now?" Maybe he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He just has to know why they decided to do this after Roy spent so many days icing them out. It makes no sense to him. If anyone did it to him, he'd tell them to fuck off, not go over for dinner, Keeley exchanges a look with Jamie, taking a deep breath before talking.
"Well, we've been thinking about it for a while, trying to figure out a way to bring it up. And then last week you blew us off, so at first we thought we'd made you uncomfortable" Jamie hums along as Keeley continues, the slightest bit hesitant. Roy cringes internally at his past self.
"But then I talked to your sister after she checked up on you, and she said it wasn't that, and that we had to give you a bit of time, but also talk everything out soon. She told us if there was anything going on, we should tell you straight up, because you'd just stay wallowing in your misery if you thought we were hiding something. And that you're too thick-skulled to have connected the right dots on your own. Her words not mine!" Roy is stunned. That fucking traitor. Sure, it made it so that he wouldn't have to actually go through with the most embarrassing thing in his life, but she couldn't have known that before she blabbered to Keeley. Could she?
"I wanted to tell you. Tonight, after dinner. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I just had- I needed to get it out, no mater the answer, I thought you'd just awkwardly say no, and when the damn season started we could leave it all behind and you could move on or whatever ." It's his turn to spill his guts, despite it being quite less of a risk now that he knows his feelings are reciprocated. Yet Roy still feels splayed open his chest carved and ready to be picked apart.
"So you'd just tell us for what?Have us let you down slowly? Give us your blessing so you'd stay miserable? Come on, you're not that pathetic, man." Jamie scoffs, succeeding in riling Roy up.
"I just didn't want to get in between-"
"I'd love it if you got in between." Jamie remarks, teasing, cutting him off, stunning him for the second it takes for Keeley to step in.
"Boys! Enough. No one is pathetic, no one is being let down. We're gonna go about this like proper adults. " Keeley has to be the level-headed one, again.
"What is there to go about? We all like each other, let's do something about it." Roy sees it in Jamie's posture now, under the cocky eagerness, the hidden anxiety, as if Roy or Keeley would suddenly tell him this won't work, or that they don't even want to try. As much as he aches to reassure him, there are still things to be talked about, that he needs to be reassured of first, things that at Jamie's age Roy wouldn't have spared a thought to, either.
"It's not that easy, is it? I'm Jamie's fucking coach, and we've already broken up once. Plus, you both could have anyone more uncomplicated. This is all going to be a mess to figure out, are you really sure you want this?" Once it's out, Roy realises how childish it sounds. Makes him look like he's got no confidence in himself, how fit he is, which isn't true, but Keeley and Jamie aren't two random people who'd be lucky to have him, are they? Their opinion matters, more than Roy would like.
"Well, I don't want anyone else. I want you two. And it ain't like you'll give me special treatment. I know you. And we don't have to let anyone know for now. And we have a PR whiz right here, we'll be fine. See? Problem solved, no complications." Jamie matches his childishness, never one to back down. If anyone can do petulant, it's Jamie fucking Tartt, pre-Madonna extraodinaire.
"Fuck's sake... It's not just that, though. I'm way too fucking old for you, Jamie. You had a fucking poster of me in your old bedroom, don't you think it's weird?" The thought has plagued him since seeing it in Manchester, really. It was easier to pretend he wasn't this old when Jamie looking up to him as a child was just a formless idea rather than a fact.
"Not really. A poster is just that. I loved the way you played, so I wanted to be like you. End of story. I don't believe anyone who just has a random poster of me knows me. Plus, i hated your guts for like the first two years I actually met you, so it makes up for it, don't it?" Roy hates it when Jamie actually makes sense, or maybe he wants this too much to look further into it. Still, he has to argue on principle.
"Still, I…"
"I'm a fucking adult, Roy, not a baby child that can't think for himself. Allow me to know what I want. And I want you. Do you want us?" Jamie's voice is getting firmer, daring Roy to argue more. It's fucking hot, and part of Roy is definitely judging him for finding it so.
"Yes." He states, confident in his answer. Keeley audibly exhales, and Jamie smiles, bright and sincere.
"Come here then." Before Roy can comprehend what's happening, Jamie has a fistful of his shirt in his hands, and draws him closer.
The kiss is both everything and nothing like what he'd imagined. Jamie's lips are soft (softer than he'd expect of a footballer, though maybe it's the 'stereotypical footballer' in him speaking. Just like with everything, Jamie waits for nothing and no one, giving it his all despite the circumstances. A tongue brushing against his lips is what finally pushes Roy to get a move on. He pushes back, grabbing onto Jamie's hips for leverage. It's even better than he could've dreamt.
The seconds melt together. Breath is really not important, Roy could do this for a while. What does make them pause is a low whistle. They turn to look at Keeley, who's grinning from ear to ear, her eyes shining with glee.
"Not that you're not hot by yourselves, boys, but I want in." She takes the two steps separating them, raises a hand to Roy's cheeks, and it's muscle memory from there. Roy sinks into it, relishing in the familiarity, an anchor compared to everything that's happened. One of his hands rises to cup her cheek, the other staying firm on Jamie's waist.
A small sound out of Keeley prompts him to slightly open his eyes as he pauses. He locks eyes with Jamie, who has far from stayed idle. The prick has the nerve to wink at him and go back to kissing down Keeley's neck. It's right up there with the most attractive things Roy's ever seen
What happens next is a blur in the best way possible, like the euphoria after a game well played, where you look at the match tape and don't remember some moments, but the overall feeling. Said euphoria refuses to leave him even the next morning, when he wakes up naked in his bed, face buried in Jamie's neck, the shaved hair there tickling his nose, one arm reaching over Jamie's middle to rest on Keeley's waist, who has, in turn, mushed her own face into Jamie's chest, only a mess of hair visible from Roy's vantage point.
They're not awake yet, and Roy will definitely not be the one to wake them. Besides, it gives him time to enjoy this. It still doesn't feel real, he half thinks they'll get up and leave and never talk of this again. A voice rings in his head, telling him to stop getting in his own way, and it's in Roy's best interest to listen to it, so Roy does. Jamie stirs.
"Morning, old man." He turns to Roy, teasing smile toned down by the sleepiness, softer at the edges. Roy is in love. He can try to deny it all he wants, but deep down he knows. All he does outwardly, is roll his eyes.
"Call me that again and you're going for a run instead of breakfast." Jamie laughs, jostling Keeley, who looks up at them through the bird nest of her hair.
"Was the banter fucking worth it? Go back to sleep, it's Saturday." They both laugh this time, albeit more quietly, as Keeley burrows back into Jamie.
Roy closes his eyes, content to doze off for a while. For the first time in a while, something in him feels settled. For the first time in a while, there's people in his bed, and it feels like home.