Chapter Text
Alright, a few things to note here.
Number one, It has definitely been more than just five minutes. Since now the clock reads 7:04 AM.
Number two, SMG3’s bed was a lot more comfortable than SMG4 had anticipated. Sure, it wasn’t the pull out couch 4 used as a bed, but god damn. Maybe SMG4 should consider getting a proper bed, no wonder he ended up falling asleep.
And number three, SMG4 needed to piss.
Majorly.
SMG4 laid there for a good bit. He woke up a few minutes ago when his throat went dry and his bladder demanded a release. Shooting a quick glance at SMG3, who had gone ahead and curled himself up against 4. SMG4 let out a small huff of relief that he was still asleep. He’d rather avoid the embarrassing explanation for as long as possible.
Okay, enough dilly-dallying. SMG4 needed to focus on how to get out of this situation before the wrong thing gets interpreted. The two must’ve tossed and turned as they slept last night, since SMG4 was practically pushed up against the wall and his hat seemingly just evapourated.
SMG4 inched down towards the foot of the bed, shimmying his body ever so slightly to not disturb SMG3. How fortunate he was a heavy sleeper, but y’know, can never be too careful. Every twitch and adjustment caused SMG4 to stop in his tracks, holding his breath as he carefully watched if SMG3’s eyes would open. When they didn’t, he’d let out a silent sigh of relief and continued on.
Eventually, SMG4 managed to slide out of the bed. Literally. He landed on the ground with a soft thud. His head shot up, eyes darting to SMG3. Still sleeping, at least for now. SMG4 sighed, hauling himself up to his feet. He brushed the dust off his clothes and stretched his arms. A small yip started him enough to lose his footing, but not entirely fall. Looking down, SMG4’s eyes met Eggdog, eyeing him with a suspicious glare. SMG4 held his finger to his lips. He tiptoed around the room. No windows in here, so no light was being let in. Even when it’s 7 AM during winter, it's still pretty dark. Plus, it’s not like SMG4 can just take out his phone and use his 8 million watts flashlight to look around the place. That’ll surely wake SMG3 up, maybe piss him off too. Dealing with a drunk SMG3 last night was a bit of a chore, but a hungover, pissed off SMG3? SMG4 might as well prepare his will.
Though thankfully, he didn’t have to! He found his hat near the night stand. SMG4 grabbed it and put it on without a second thought. He quietly made a beeline for the elevator and spammed the button until the doors closed.
As the elevator went up, SMG4 took a deep breath, leaning against the wall. He dragged his hands down his face, last night’s events replaying in his mind. Delivering the drinks, the dancing, getting banned and kicked out from the bar, the kiss..
Oh right. The kiss.
SMG4’s face warmed up at the thought. He shook his head immediately after. SMG3 was drunk. He had no idea what he was doing then. The alcohol had definitely affected something in his brain, enough to have him do something like that.
Whatever. It’s just a drunken mishap. SMG3 probably doesn’t remember anything that happened last night at all. It's good to keep it that way, to spare him from the embarrassment.
When the elevator doors open, SMG4 makes his way back to his castle. He needed to piss, take a shower since he reeks of alcohol. Maybe make some coffee. So many things to do. Through all of that, there’s this one little thought that keeps echoing in his head. Even with SMG4 trying to distract himself with chores and errands. It still lingers on.
Drunk words are sober thoughts.
***
SMG3 groggily woke up in his bed, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palms. “God.. My head..” He groaned, dragging his hands down his face. SMG3 peaked through his fingers, spotting Eggdog looking up at him expectedly. “Oh, my poor baby,” he cooed, petting Eggdog softly. “You must’ve not eaten anything since I got back.” SMG3 stood up, rolling his shoulders. He made a quick glance at the time; 8:43 AM. Still relatively early. Maybe he can still fight the hangover until he needs to get ready for the day. SMG3 felt around his bed in the dark until fumbling to grab his hat. He put it on without a second thought.
He went into the elevator, Eggod trailing behind him. Once they arrived on the upper floor, Eggod zoomed straight towards his food bowl. SMG3 chuckled softly, searching the pantry for the eager dog’s food. Eggdog happily barked and yipped as 3 approached. “Yes, yes. I know. I’m going as fast as I can here.” He joked. SMG3 lowered down on one knee, ripping open the food pack and pouring a portion into the bowl. Eggdog immediately began scarfing it down while SMG3 pet him softly. As if on cue, SMG3’s own stomach began growling. “Hm. I probably hadn’t eaten anything either.” He muttered to himself. SMG3 straightened himself out, making his way to the back kitchen of the cafe. As some fresh coffee brewed, he decided to make a simple bowl of cereal, plus one or two Advil tablets.
SMG3 sighed, popping the tablets in his mouth and gulping down his coffee to have them go down easier. His eyes directed towards the large windows of the cafe. He kissed his teeth, remembering he’ll have to open up today. It’s the new year, so business’ll be slow — and hopefully less headache increasing.
***
SMG4 munched on his breakfast sandwich, looking over his to-do list on his monitor. He’s not much of a cook, but Costco has blessed him with this giant box of microwaveable breakfast sandwiches so he never has to cook. That’s a good thing, the stove intimidates him.
As for the list, it was actually Meggy’s idea. SMG4’s day-to-day schedule pre-retirement was just working on videos, plus other stuff, like eating, and sleeping. But now that he has way more free time then he knows what to do with, Meggy recommended making a to-do list throughout the week so he’s not completely lost with things to do.
SMG4 hovers the mouse cursor over one specific task listed; Get groceries. The most important one to get out of the way. Not because he wasn't running out of some stuff — he was, but that isn’t the point. SMG4 usually did grocery shopping first since he can’t stand how other people are at the store he frequents. They’re too entitled and make it everyone else’s problem. He feels bad seeing an employee dealing with those kinds of people. It’s baffling to see people a decade or two older than him acting like children.
Oh well, again, might as well get it over with. SMG4 leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms over his head as he usually does. He gets up, grabbing his keys and wallet off his desk and heads out.
As SMG4 reaches for the door, a familiar friend proceeds to materialize in front of it. “SMG4!” Mario exclaims with a smile. SMG4 steps back, obviously startled. “Oh, Jesus. Mario. I didn’t know you could just..appear,” he comments. “Mario is a man of many talents.” Mario adds on. SMG4 noticed his eyes glancing up, but he didn’t really comment on it. “So uh..” Mario speaks up, sounding a bit sheepish. “So what’cha doing now?” SMG4 raised an eyebrow at the sudden behaviour shift. “Just.. gonna get groceries,” he answered, gesturing to his keys.
“Oh, while looking like that?”
“Yes? It’s how I always look?”
Mario’s eyes glance up before meeting SMG4’s gaze. “Alright, If you say so,” he shrugged, walking out of the castle. SMG4 followed out after him, since he still needed to get to the grocery store. “I’mma gonna see how SMG3 is-a doing!” Mario calls out as SMG4 starts up his forklift.
***
Thank god business was as slow as predicted. Just a few people wanting to try the only coffee shop located in the middle of butt fuck nowhere. SMG3 idly wiped down the counters, trying to keep up in the conversation between Melony and Saiko. “Oh wow! That really happened?” Melony asked. Saiko chuckled, nodding. “Yep. That little blow got him and SMG4 banned indefinitely.” She gestured to SMG3, who rolled his eyes. “Y’know I can just not make your coffee, right?” Melony chuckled. “Aw man, I wish I was able to make it.” Saiko patted her shoulder. “It’s alright. There’s always next time.”
SMG3 slid the freshly made drink towards Saiko. She thanked him, ending the conversation with her and Melony going to find a table to sit at. Strangely, they never once made eye contact with SMG3. Weird.
The bell on the door rings, and in walks Mario. “Hello SMG3!” He waved exaggeratedly. SMG3 winced, clutching his head. “Hey man, not so loud. Still hungover and all,” he reminded. “Oh yes, Mario remembers. You must’ve-a drank a lot last night.”
“Not exactly.”
“Hm?”
“I mean, I don’t drink very often. So it hits a lot harder when I do.”
“That’s what-a she sa–”
“You finish that sentence and you’re banned.”
Mario snickered, holding his hands up in mock surrender. “Alright-a, alright.” He glanced up with a smirk. SMG3 raised an eyebrow. “What? What’re you looking at?” He asked, turning around to follow Mario’s gaze. “Oh, A-Nothing!” The plumber hand waved. "Anyway! Mario’s gonna bounce to let you-a rest.” He turned on his heel, walking over to the door. SMG3 shrugged, not wanting to question the avatar’s nonsense. Mario opened the door of the cafe, the bell chiming. He turned back to SMG3. “By the way, you might-a wanna check yourself in the-a mirror. Or don’t. Mario doesn’t care-a that much.” With that cryptic message in the air, Mario left. Leaving SMG3 thoroughly confused. “What the fuck—”
***
For some reason, SMG4 felt eyes on him all day. During his drive to the grocery store, he made eye contact with a few people before they looked away. That made sense to him. If you stop at a red light and see a fucking forklift drive up next to you, you’d probably look at the person driving as if they’re insane. Which in SMG4’s case would be a resounding; kinda.
It wasn’t just that though. In the store too, as SMG4 browsed through the shelves, carefully scanning which snack product could last in the castle’s kitchen the longest before getting gobbled up by Mario, he felt several gazes bore into the back of his head. When you’ve fought god on occasion, you learn to sense these things. SMG4 picked out a couple bags of chips and tossed them into his cart. He tried backing out of the aisle, only to crash into someone else’s cart. “Ah shit. Sorry about that.” SMG4 immediately apologised. The person he ran into, unexpectedly turned out to be Luigi. “Oh, It’s-a okay, SMG4,” he dismissed. “Didn’t think to see you here so early. What’s the-a occasion?" SMG4 cleared his throat. “No occasion, just..grocery shopping. I thought I should just get it out of the way for the week,” he explained. Luigi nodded. “I-a see. And how’s-a SMG3? Saw you left the bar with him-a last night.” SMG4 nodded, anticipating someone to ask that.
“Yeah, had to make sure he didn’t die somehow. He should be fine though.”
“You don’t-a know?”
“Eh, I uhm… left after he fell asleep.”
“Right.. So, is that why you’re wearing his-a hat right now?”
What?
“What?” SMG4 raised an eyebrow. “I’m not– I’m not wearing his hat,” he laughed nervously. Luigi glanced up at his head before meeting his eyes again. “Sure.” SMG4 pursed his lips. “I’m not! A-And I can prove it too.” He swiftly removed the hat from his head, smugly closing his eyes as he presented it to Luigi. “Hmmm… Yeah, that-a looks a lot like-a SMG3’s hat.” SMG4 snapped his eyes open, staring at the hat in his hand. Familiar purple shade, the chip in the brim, the skull emblem.
Oh my god, he was wearing SMG3’s hat.
Wait.
If he wore 3’s hat, then did that mean…
“I gotta go,” SMG4 suddenly announced. Luigi raised an eyebrow. “Wait, what?” He inquired in a confused tone. “I gotta go!” SMG4 repeated with much more urgency. He turned on his heel and sprinted out of the aisle, abandoning his cart of groceries.
***
We’re just gonna ignore how many road laws were on the verge of being broken during SMG4’s journey back to the showgrounds. He parked his forklift, hastily hopping out and almost falling on his face in the process. SMG4 scrambled to the cafe, heart pounding for two completely different reasons. He threw the door open, the bell ringing rattley. SMG4 paused to catch his breath, looking up to only find the cafe empty. No patrons, thankfully. But also no SMG3. SMG4 cautiously entered the cafe, looking through the back, still no sign of him.
“Oh my god!”
Uh oh. At least SMG4 knows he’s inside the building now.
SMG4 quickly entered the elevator, making his way down to 3’s lair. The doors swing open, revealing a slightly messy lair, with the bathroom light on in the distance. Soon, outwalks SMG3, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched. He looked up and met eyes with SMG4, both thinking the same thing; “Oh my god he’s wearing my hat.”
“My hat!” SMG3 exclaimed, rushing over and snatching it off SMG4’s head. In return, he tossed SMG4 his own hat. The two put on their respective caps, the awkwardness in the air only increasing. “Why the hell did you have my hat?” SMG3 questioned, pointing at his cap. SMG4 cleared his throat. Oh boy. “Uh– I must’ve grabbed it thinking it was mine this morning,” he smiled awkwardly. SMG3 stood there, taking in the information. Probably a good time to skedaddle. “Alright!” SMG4 exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “Welp, I should uh.. Get— get going now!” He turned around, but couldn’t make a few steps before SMG3 grabbed his arm. “The hell? You can’t just leave.” He walked towards SMG4, making 4 himself take a step back. “Why were you here in the morning? And why are you being so awkward right now? Explain yourself!” SMG3 demanded, grabbing SMG4’s shoulders and roughly shaking him. “I— would— if— you— let— me—” SMG4 explained in between shakes. SMG3 rolled his eyes but released the other man, taking a couple steps back for some distance. “Okay, I’m waiting.”
SMG4 cleared his throat. “Okay.. So, remember how you got drunk last night?” He began with an awkward smile. SMG3 raised an eyebrow. “I legit don’t have much memory from last night, but go on.” SMG4 chuckled nervously.
“Right, yeah. So after we got banned, I decided to get you an uber home since I didn’t trust that you’d be able to hang onto the forklift—
“Wait, banned?”
“Yeah. Your powers went out of whack when we were dancing and the owner said—”
“Wait, Dancing??”
“Yeah?”
SMG3 folded his hands together, pressing his index fingers to his lips. He took a deep breath. “Okay, start from the beginning. Leave nothing out.” He requested. SMG4’s awkward grin widened. Well then, guess there’s no avoiding the inevitable awkward explanation, now is there?
So, as requested, SMG4 explained everything. From the moment he first got into the bar, when he first met with the drunken SMG3, the dance they shared, SMG3’s little meme power fiasco, SMG3 calling the bar owner bald and subsequently getting the two of them kicked out and banned indefinitely, to SMG4 calling an uber and following said uber back to the showgrounds since he didn’t trust SMG3 would be okay by himself, to SMG4 bringing the drunk man back down to his lair to rest and let the alcohol work its way through his system, to… to…
“You’re trailing off,” SMG3 pointed out. He wasn’t wrong, of course. SMG4 debated internally on if he should even reveal this information to him. One side of his brain yelled that SMG3 has a right to know, even if it’s embarrassing as hell for someone like him. The other side of SMG4’s brain argued that it was just a mere drunken move, and there was no need to update him on something that can’t possibly have any explanation for it happening.
“Dude, hello?” SMG3 waved his hand in front of the other man’s face, causing SMG4 to blink out of his internal debate. “You were saying..?” SMG4 cleared his throat. Really no avoiding this? Seriously? “R-Right, so uhm…” SMG4 began, pausing to take a deep breath. “A-After I got you down here to rest, you uh… asked me to stay with you. So I did, since, y’know, you were drunk. And then like, maybe like ten seconds later. You asked me to uh, look at you and then.. And then you kinda..kissed me?” SMG4 smiled awkwardly, hoping it would ease up some tension. — It didn’t, obviously. But it’s the thought that counts, no?
SMG3 stood there, silent. Staring. SMG4 wonders if something in his brain broke, maybe trying to comprehend the ridiculousness of it all. “Uh, Th-Three?” He stuttered, reaching out to touch his arm, but not actually doing so. Don’t wanna poke the bear. SMG3 closed his eyes, hands pressed together as he took, quite frankly, the deepest breath SMG4’s ever heard in his life. “Can you pass me that pillow?” SMG3 finally spoke. SMG4 furrowed his brows, following 3’s gaze to a throw pillow on his bed.
“Uh– Why?”
“Just do it!”
“Okay! Okay.”
SMG4 tossed the pillow in SMG3’s direction. He caught the pillow and proceeded to press the throw pillow against his face, letting out muffled screams. SMG4 couldn’t help chuckling at the sight. “Heh, you uh.. You good?” He asked. SMG3 removed his face from the pillow, exhaling. “Yeah, for now,” he answered, tossing the pillow aside. “God, please tell me that’s it. That’s the only embarrassing thing I did last night.” SMG4 kissed his teeth. “Well… Not, exactly?” SMG3 groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Oh god..” SMG4 coughed awkwardly. “So uh, after…that happened, I tried leaving to let you rest, but then you asked me to lie down with you. S-So I did. And I guess your bed was so comfy, since we ended up.. Sleeping together.” He explained, taking in SMG3’s flabbergasted expression. “N-Not like that, obviously!” SMG4 added, panic in his tone.
SMG3 sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “God, what a night..” He muttered. SMG4 nodded silently in agreement. “So, that’s everything, right? Please tell me there isn’t something else that I did.” SMG4 paused. Is it good to bring this up? Hell, it might not even mean what he’s thinking.
“Well, actually—”
“Oh my fucking god..”
“It’s not that bad, I swear!”
SMG3 rolled his eyes, but focused up. SMG4 mentally psyched himself. “Right, so.. I could be very well over thinking this part, but. You did mention that you uhm.. Liked me last night.” SMG3 paused, fists clenched tightly at his sides. His eyes darted to the ground, refusing to make eye contact. SMG4 stood there, glancing around the room and tapped his finger tips together. “I mean..” He spoke up, coughing nervously, “I mean, obviously, that—that just meant we’re friends, right?” SMG3 slowly looked up, a light blush colouring his face. “W-Well… Well of course that’s what I meant! I was drunk, remember?” He rambled, feeling his face getting warmer. SMG4 cocked his head slightly. “Uh, yeah. You good, man? You’re looking a little red there.” SMG3’s hand subconsciously reached for his face, he pursed his lips. “Yes, I’m fine. It… I-Its nothing!” He protested, his voice raising just an octave higher. SMG4 let out a small chuckle. “Alright, whatever you say man.” SMG3 pursed his lips, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “I am fine! G-Get out, scrub! I have a business to run, y’know!” He demanded, and SMG4 couldn’t hold his laughter back for much longer.
“Well, y’know Three—”
“I said get out, y-you baka!”
SMG4 raised his hands in mock surrender, walking backwards towards the elevator. “Okay, okay! No need for such vulgarity,” he joked. SMG3 watched as the doors closed over SMG4, and he exhaled deeply. “God, that was too much for one day..” He muttered, dragging a hand down his face. SMG3 took a seat at the edge of his bed, near the nightstand. He opened the drawer and sifted through it. “Well, at least he knows I like him, just..” he trailed off, taking out a small envelope, addressed to SMG4 with a small heart doodle next to the name. “Not as friends, anyway."